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Really bad movies


Mr.Lukie
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This is kind of like the thread I posted about bad games, but I'm not repeating myself. Post your comments about really bad films you've seen, and hopefully there won't be too many people murderously opposed to your opinion. Some of the worst movies I’ve ever seen are The Grinch (I don't think I even have to mention what went wrong there) and Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone. Don't get me wrong, I like Harry Potter books, and the second film was pretty good, but something about little wieners whose voices haven't broken, running around in a script that's painstakingly long yet annoyingly brief made it so hard for me to stay awake... no wait. I didn't.

I post more bad movies as I think of them, and hopefully you will too.

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I personally feel that The Blair Witch Project is the worst film I have ever seen. I was lead to believe that an independant film maker had tried to make a realistic film involving psychological fear, but instead I found about 80 minutes of sticks, stones, stupid kids, corny noises, and nausiating camera movement. Scarier stories were told around the campfire by 8 year old kids. :(

 

The most "recently" bad film I have seen is Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, if indigestion could be translated to an image with a soundtrack, that movie fits the bill to a tee. :rolleyes:

 

Other contenders would be:

 

Joe Dirt

 

David Spade stars as a mullet wearing redneck, who's life story becomes the butt of a radio station shock jock's jokes. Only the jokes are not funny. :/

 

The English Patient

 

A french fried English man tells his story of love and virtual necrophilia.....ugh...

 

U-Turn

 

Jennifer Lopez, and Sean Penn star as a couple of low lifes in a small town, where everything constantly goes wrong, including the film itself...

 

From Dusk Till Dawn

 

An excellent character thriller turns into a campy vampire gore fest, that would give even Buffy a bad name.

 

Dracula 2000

 

Dracual is Judas? NEXT!

 

Resident Evil

 

Mila Jovavich stars in soundtrack driven, junior high style spin off of Night of the Living Dead. The fact that George Romero volunteered to direct a sequal, confirms that he himself has sold out even more than his own merchandise. :/

 

Tomb Raider

 

Angelina Jolie stars as Lara Croft, a once popular video game character. The game itself borrowed heavily off of Indianna Jones, and Jolie seemed promising as the sexy replacement for an ageing Indy, however the whole premise of "The Poeple of the Light", rediculous stunt work, and lackluster effects, makes this one of many failed attempts to make movies out of video games.

 

Batman & Robin

 

1997 marked the end of the Batman franchise when Joel Shumacker brought the dark night back to full 70's camp, by casting George Clooney as Batman, adding too many characters, compensating the lack of plot, for a heavy cast of famous actors, and actresses. The results becomes a circus of the stars in heavy latex, with over the top corney dialogue, and an all together silly movie.

 

Megaforce

 

1982 Mad Max spin off starring Barry Bostwick, and a whole lotta spandex. :eek:

 

Pearl Harbor

 

A flag waving patriotic republican film staring Ben Affleck, that tries to base the events following the Pearl Harbor attack around a sappy far fetched love story, and falls short of the glory it was marketed for.

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Originally posted by Darth Groovy

I personally feel that The Blair Witch Project is the worst film I have ever seen. I was lead to believe that an independant film maker had tried to make a realistic film involving psychological fear, but instead I found about 80 minutes of sticks, stones, stupid kids, corny noises, and nausiating camera movement. Scarier stories were told around the campfire by 8 year old kids. :(

 

The second one was even worse.

 

 

I saw "Treasure Planet" in school the other day, it made me want to break the tv and then go and destroy every aspect of anything to do with Disney.

 

"Hollow Man". Could have been a neat movie if the main charactors hadn't escaped. The only good parts were when the hollow guy went out into the outside world, but he hardly ever did so it sucked.

 

"Die Another Day" James bond is the sh*t. But the latest movie was TERRIBLE. It didn't have a good plot, didn't have good acting, and was just in general awful.

 

"the Cat in the Hat" I won't even go see it. I hate it exactly the same way that I hate the new "how the Grinch Stole Christmas" You CANNOT make a good Dr. Suess book with real people. Not to mention the fact that they don't follow the books, they are just dreadful looking and to me even the previews ruin the books.

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One night, back when I was an naive young child, I watched TV with the babysitter. We saw the latter half of a movie about a love-potion. It's vague in my mind now, for which I'm really, really grateful. (I also got my first taste of "Dawson's Creek" that night. Pity the young and innocent me.)

 

If you want really wretched movies, watch the ABC Family channel.

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Originally posted by Skinkie

I had to watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, I am that much dumber from it.

 

Just about any sappy love-movie you have to watch just because your girlfriend likes them. I feel for you, man. For me it was "Love Actually" a few days ago. Pure agony.

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The concept of Hollow Man was very intriging. The effects were haunting. Kevin Bacon and the blond person-whos-name-slipped-my-mind? fjdsnfjkdnfjkdnfkjnfkjdnfjkdnfkjdnfkd. No translation avaible. Bleech.:mad:

 

Cat in the Hat? Everyone involved in it desevres to die. Or atleast, get a nasty cold. Even Myers. Shaggidelfdskjam,c...

 

Meet Joe Black. Me and my buddy here both agree that it was awful. And my buddy says he's more of a Depp then a Pitt, thank you.

 

Planet of the Apes, the new one. I wanted to, for the first time in my life, strangle Mr.Tim Burton. Next...

 

AI: Artifical Intelligence. There were some juicy bits, but mostly gibgibgibgib. And if it ended sooner, it would have been much better. One day cloning crap...shibbyshibby...

 

These movies are barely finished yet, but i feel the need bad...

 

THE PLANNED ALIEN VS PREDATOR MOVIE.

I SWEAR, IT IS IN PRE PRODUCTION.

NSKJDFLNFKJ!

 

And finaly...

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA MOVIE.

Look me in the eyes, children. Promise Orca you will hate this movie with all your soul. Promise me promise me promise...

"Promise me, thats allllllll iiiiiiiii aaaaaask ooooof youuuuuuuu!"

 

I must run again, children. But what stories I have to tell again when I return!;)

HINT: I am now afraid to ever sleep in a Murphy bed.

and "...I'll blow my signifigant other into the signifigant other world!! THAT will show her how much I really care!"

Wheeeeee!

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Originally posted by ShopKeeper

u do know the books were written in 1954, how could they leak money out of the twin towers attack?

 

I thought that was meant to be a joke (was it acutally serious? there should be some sarcasm code so people like me can tell.Written sarcasm lacks the roling of eyes and overacting of real sarcasm. Confuses me.)

 

Didn't a bunch of people make a "real" (as in - not sarcastic, still stupid though) website about boycotting the second movie because of it's name?

 

I've never seen any of them *gasp*. I have a thing about reading the book before seeing the movie when it's something that famous. One day I'll get around to it...

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Originally posted by muskawo

there should be some sarcasm code so people like me can tell.

That's for dummies. Use your brain.

 

The Matrix Reloaded

The Naked Gun 33 1/3

 

I don't have a problem with movies that suck because they are bound to. I won't watch a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie and expect it to be a work of art. I won't watch a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie period. What I don't like is when you expect a movie to deliver and it doesn't.

 

Orca, got 'ny problems with Aliens? Or Predators? I know people are led to expect this movie to be a stinker. It's directed by the guy who did Resident Evil, Paul W.S. Anderson, and it's gonna be low budget. I think it can be an entertaining flick, nontheless.

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The lifetime network - I get sucked in though

 

 

I'll sum up all the movies for you

 

woman lives with happy family, family gets destroyed or in some crisis, woman gets mistreated, woman takes it to the authorities, woman recieves no support ie the brush off, woman take it into her own hands, woman kicks ass, woman brings the man to court, looks like he's going to win, no - justice is served, everyone cries, woman continues on with giving her family hugs.

 

The end

 

Bad bad movies.

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Originally posted by muskawo

Didn't a bunch of people make a "real" (as in - not sarcastic, still stupid though) website about boycotting the second movie because of it's name?

Yes, and Microsoft Flight Simulator was removed from many stores because you can fly a plane into the twin towers in it.
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Jack Frost - not the Disney one (well maybe, I havnt seen it), the horror one. It was just bad.

The killer snowman raped a woman with his carrot phallace. And he shoots icicles out of his arms.

The Tao of Steve - Not funny, though there was one line in it I liked. Pity I cant remember it.

Rented these on the same night I think. Agh.

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Originally posted by Skinkie

I had to watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, I am that much dumber from it.

 

I beleive Alia and I watched that this summer while cleaning my horse's tack. I remember scrubbing theelastic in my girth with toothpaste for quite a while, all the while wathcing that movie. It's a good thing to have playing in the background while sitting on your toilet scrubbing tack, it provides a few laughs(at, not with the movie).

 

 

The part about sitting on the toilet... my bathroom is attached to the room with the tv, so I was sitting in the bathroom so as not to get the rug full of horse scum. The toilet was the best vantage point/ most comfortable place to sit. (I had the top down, don't worry)

 

ANYWAY. Darkness Falls (the one about the Tooth Fairy) sucked balls pretty hard.

 

So did the movie "dance with me" about some cuban guy in california.. it was rotten.

 

Muskawo: Your avatar is cute. Is that you?

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in the grand theft auto vice city, they removed the ability to fly jumbo jet planes as u can fly them into buildings

 

back to topic....

 

Worst film... Final Fantasy: Spirits Within

 

the games are great, so they brought out a film and its nothing to do with the games or anything, its just a normal film with the name final fantasy

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Originally posted by Alien426

Orca, got 'ny problems with Aliens? Or Predators? I know people are led to expect this movie to be a stinker. It's directed by the guy who did Resident Evil, Paul W.S. Anderson, and it's gonna be low budget. I think it can be an entertaining flick, nontheless.

 

:rolleyes:

 

I figured you'd have an opinion on this. While I respect your opinion, and yes, I have a feeling we are in for some excellent bits, I can't shake this horrid feeling I have.

 

Its like, i dunno....

 

here, say, "Frankenstien". Happy all by itself

 

now, here, "Dracula". Happy, too, and very successful, by itself.

 

Would you mix them? Do pirates drink grog?

 

It might be like "Godzilla vs King Kong". Two highy successful, really cool monsters. Not well together.

 

there. I ranted.

 

Did anyone mention The Ring yet? (i wanna see the orginal, however, "Ringu", Japanese. its supposed to be gut wrenchingly scary...)

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Originally posted by Shivermetimbers

 

Muskawo: Your avatar is cute. Is that you?

 

Nope. I'm a girl. It 's just a beautiful little man I adore who happens to be 8/9 years older than me, way richer than me, and in a country I do not live in (and he never comes over here, either). Oh, the pains of being a fangirl!

 

But, if you actually want to know who he is, go to

 

his band's webpage

 

And you will be instantly converted. Funny, I thought dc had "sold out" in the US and everyone knew who they were now. Apparently not. Which is a good thing.

 

You know, one day I'll have to actually get around to discussing all the movies I hate, but for now it's gonna be all OT crap that makes you're blood boil. Hey, I'm a newb, it's my job! :p

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Originally posted by Orca Wail

It might be like "Godzilla vs King Kong". Two highy successful, really cool monsters. Not well together.

Not to steer off-topic, but Aliens vs. Predator is already a tried and tested franchise. They go together pretty well. The stories work. I shudder to think about a movie with Sigourney Weaver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, though.

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