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Why did the chicken cross the road?


Darth Rythe

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I don't know if I have posted this before, but If I have, here you go all the people that haven't seen it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

George Bush's Answer:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

 

Al Gore's Answer:I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

 

Bill Gates' Answer:I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

 

Martha Stewart's Answer:No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had astanding order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

 

Dr. Seuss' Answer: Did the chicken cross the road?Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road,But why it crossed, I've not been told!

 

Ernest Hemingway's Answer:To die. In the rain. Alone.

 

Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 

Grandpa's Answer:In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

 

Barbara Walters' Answer:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to thechicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how itexperienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish itslife-long dream of crossing the road.

 

Ralph Nader's Answer:The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

 

Jerry Seinfield's Answer:Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

 

Pat Buchanan's Answer:To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

 

Rush Limbaugh's Answer:I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

 

Jerry Falwell's Answer:Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that hicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side.".

 

John Lennon's Answer:Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

 

Aristotle's Answer:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

Karl Marx's Answer:It was a historical inevitability.

 

Saddam Hussein's Answer:This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified indropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

 

Voltaire's Answer:I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

 

Captain Kirk's Answer:To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 

Fox Mulder's Answer:You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

 

Scully's Answer:It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

 

Bill Clinton's Answer:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

 

The Bible's Answer:And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

 

Albert Einstein's Answer: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath thechicken?

 

Sigmund Freud's Answer:The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 

L.A.P.D.'s Answer:Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

 

Richard Nixon's Answer:The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

 

Buddha's Answer:If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

 

Joseph Stalin's Answer:I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

 

Carl Jung's Answer:The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and, therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

 

Louis Farrakhan's Answer:The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

 

John Locke's Answer:Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

 

Albert Camus' Answer:It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

 

Oliver Stone's Answer:The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

 

The Pope's Answer:That is only for God to know.

 

Immanuel Kant's Answer:chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

 

MC. Escher's Answer:That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.

 

George Orwell's Answer:Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

 

Plato's Answer:For the greater good.

 

Nietzsche's Answer:Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

 

B.F. Skinner's Answer:Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.

 

Jean-Paul Sartre's Answer:In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

 

Emily Dickenson's Answer:Because it could not stop for death.

 

O.J. Simpson's Answer:It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

 

Ken Starr's Answer:I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United States of America, in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road, until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations, have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.).

 

Colonel Sanders' Answer:I missed one?

 

:D

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MennoniteHobbit's answer:

 

It was on the wrong side of the road, the side that KFC was located on. And at the same time, I was making a hydrogen powered/water powered go-cart, driving it around my neighborhood. It paid me by giving me free food from the farmer's market, in exchange for giving it a ride.

 

:rolleyes:

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my's answer: because he had just stolen some big, shiny, diomend and the police were following him

 

 

 

EPILOGUE(sp?)

 

chiken was about to get caught by police when he was crushed by Ferrarri.

 

 

 

why did the duck cross the road?: 'cause the chiken was on vacation.

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The real answer: the grass just seems greener over there. :max:

 

No one can predict the chicken's interest in greener grass any more than the eighteen-wheeler loaded with bridge parts bearing down fatefully upon it at ninety miles per hour; in this way is the meaning of a chicken's desires seen as meaningless when held against the stark reality of poultry road safety. How's my driving?

 

:dozey: Or possibly I kicked it.

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more...

 

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

 

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

 

OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed

 

Captain Kirk (2): To . . . GET! . . . totheOTHER! . . . SIDE!

 

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

 

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain

 

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

 

Q: Please, Mon Capitane! I will not tell you why the chicken is crossing the road. That is for you to find out. And if you don't, Picard, the end of the universe will be upon your shoulders. You are such a weakling, no wonder the chicken crossing the road confuses you.

 

The Oracle: it’s a question of choice, which has been already made. Now you have to try to understand it.

 

Bones: Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a veterinarian! How the hell should I know why the chicken crossed the road?

 

Agent Smith: it was inevitable.

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Michael Moore's answer: Because George W. Bush is an idiot and he's screwing us all over!

 

Yoda's answer: To understand its own destiny, cross the road it did.

 

Reagan's answer: because it was acting under the domination of the Evil Empire and was coerced into submission.

 

Maya Angelou: the chicken suffered great trauma as a child, but having great internal strength, continued to seek its destiny.

 

Steinbeck: to get to California where it could eat all the oranges it wanted, and to get out of the Dust Bowl in Oklahoma - only it starved to death there.

 

Janet Jackson: to witness my perfect physiology, of course.

 

Hawking: well, technically, the only way time travel would ever work would be in looping sequences, because if one could actually move at a speed close enough to the speed of light as to be no different, then it would return around the length of the closed universe at the same time as it left. Therefore, the chicken did not cross the road.

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Nice cut'n'paste Rhythemnation....

 

Astro's response :

Because, after listening to the Rolling Stones' "Paint it Black", he did exactly that, and is now on his way to Crow_Nest's place, where he, Crow and Ozzy Osbourne are going to have a Hamster "eat and meet" seance party..... special guest star will be Kain, who will be giving a slide show on "how I plan to take over the world with a handful of figurines and a rusty rapier"......Selene will be taking cash donations to the cause in ETs hat....

 

:p j/k guys I luvz you all !

 

mtfbwya

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