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The Ideal Mate


El Sitherino
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Physically: Shorter than me, brown hair, not overly skinny.

 

Personality: Good sense of humor, likes MY sense of humor, can take being insulted without throwing a girly hissy fit. Enjoys good movies.

 

Hmmm.....That's all I can think of at the moment, I'll edit in more if I think of it.

 

(for the record, my current girlfriend meets all of these criteria, and I honestly think I'm going to marry her someday)

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Originally posted by ET Warrior

Physically: Shorter than me, brown hair, not overly skinny.

 

Personality: Good sense of humor, likes MY sense of humor, can take being insulted without throwing a girly hissy fit. Enjoys good movies.

ditto. except add cute face as well :p a nice rack is not a requirement but a bonus point

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Originally posted by Alegis

ditto. except add cute face as well :p a nice rack is not a requirement but a bonus point

 

Ahso, I would like to add that to mine :D

 

I figured the cute face was kind of a given, I mean, I can't date someone I'm not attracted to.

 

And boobs are a very nice perk ;) (no pun intended)

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*Watches everyone sigh as he steps up to state his ideal girl* :p

 

Well...let me see.

 

First of all, her physical body couldn't mean less to me, but even I have preferences.

 

Height? About the same as mine, it would be nice to kiss her without bending over, or her having to get on her tip-toes.

 

Weight? Well, healthy. I don't want her to die 15 years before me because she was so overweight.

 

Breast? Ah come on. You knew it wouldn't mean anything to me. ;)

 

And yes, of course I would prefer a cute face. But I don't really care. :)

 

Now the important part...her personality.

 

Understanding...that is a big one. I would want her to be an understanding partner, who knows I am not perfect, and accepts me, and loves me despite that.

 

Supportive. I would want her to be supportive of my goals, and my dreams. Just as I would be of hers. I would want a relationship, where we help each other to reach our goals.

 

Loving. Who doesn't want a partner who is loving? Somebody who enjoys to cuddle, and kiss, and just lay in bed, held tightly in your arms.

 

Kind and compassionate. I would want somebody who cares for others. Who enjoys helping people, just for the sake of doing so. Somebody who would happily give her lunch to a starving man on the street, who's name she didn't even know.

 

Comforting. I admit, I have low self esteem...I would like a girl who would comfort me when I am down, and perhaps even help me to overcome that. Somebody who will always be there to remind me, that no matter what everyone else thinks, she loves me.

 

Optimistic. Because I am pessimistic. I would like a girl with a happy view of life. Somebody who expected the best to happen, as apposed to the worst. She may even help me to not be so down all the time.

 

Loyal and faithful. One of the most important, of course. I would of course want her to be loyal and faithful to me, as I would be to her. No relationship where your partner goes around with men all of the time really works...

 

Fun loving. Yeah! Nobody likes somebody who just wants to sit in doors and watch TV all of the time...well maybe some people. I like to go out on dates, and have fun outdoors.

 

Energetic. Well of course I want somebody who can keep up with me, I am a handful. :D

 

And that is all I can think of, at this time.

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Physical: Medium build, little shorter than me, don't really care about hair/eye color, medium length hair, cute face, hot body, slim, but not a stick, with nice curves.

 

Peronality: Good sense of humor, likes my sense of humor, likes video games, doesn't mind my playing video games, supportive but doesn't crush me, doesn't overreact, likes almost all movies, or at least the same ones I like, Loyal, won't abandon me for the first guy who asks her out, loving, kind, won't kick someone when he's down, fun-loving, not ultra-serious.

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You've all posted some interesting points.

 

As far as looks go, pretty is as pretty does. In other words, you could have a date or partner who looks like a model, but if they don't treat you with respect, that pretty wears off.

 

Loyal? Absolutely, but who cares if your partner is loyal but is constantly putting you down? So supportive and considerate is a definite. Actually I would want a partner who is devoted exclusively to me.

 

Having some common interests makes sense, and being comfortable communicating with your partner is essential.

 

Hiroki is telling some very good points. But I am wondering if he is thinking what he will do for his girlfriend.

 

The key is two people each being devoted to the other, and wanting to please the other. Being happy together, but free to have some independent interests, collaborating, being passionate together.

I haven't seen it happen very often though.

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Lessee...

 

About 5'8, 110 lbs, dark burnette hair, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful smile, a laugh that is music to my ears, not controling, loyal(I had a gf cheat on me...stupid whore:¬: ), nice dresser, treats me right, enjoys(or atleast pretends) my hobbies, atleast some of the same hobbies(vampires pwn j00), same tastes in food(less argument over where to go), nice body, absoluetly gorgeous eyes, same music(KoRn pwns all).

 

...:D

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Nile Queen, if you knew me, you would know doing stuff for my girlfriend is what I am all about. :p I have very strong feelings for someone currently, but that person can not engage in a serious romantic relationship at the moment, so I promised her that I would wait, no matter how long it took, for things to improve for her.

 

I always do my very best to devote every ounce of myself to the girl I love. I would do anything for her, and in all honesty, that list does match her pretty well. If you ever read this, know that to my eyes, you are the perfect girl. :)

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Originally posted by Mike Windu

Strangely I am rarely attracted to asians. Maybe it's my fascination with the western world @_@

 

We have a lot to discuss my friend:D

 

Height and weight: Proportionnate to each other. Though I prefer someone who's about the same size as me, a little shorter or a little higher doesn't matter.

 

Eyes and Hair:Brown or light brown.

 

Cute face, rack, ass whatever you say...lol no seriously, I just care about the cute face but the rest I don't.

 

Personnality:

-Fun-loving

-Optimistic

-Loyal(I am so I expect the same)

-Romantic(okay call me a sissy if you want I like romance :xp:)

-Caring

-Compassionate

-Funny

 

(The list is in no particular order.)

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Oh very well, I'll elaborate. A female who doesn't want to change herself or meself, is always welcome. I'm happy with who I am, if I like a girl it's because I'm happy with who she is, why change either?

 

Well Spider AL, people are always changing or evolving. What happens if you or she decide you want to take up a new hobby?

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Well Spider AL, people are always changing or evolving.
I dispute this. People don't change, as a rule. People may be able to change certain aspects of their behaviour through sheer force of will (alcoholics abstaining for example) but the psychology that drove them to do those things in the first place remains. Thus, alcoholics must maintain focus every day, etcetera. This is the same for minor things.

 

What happens if you or she decide you want to take up a new hobby?
That's a little extreme, isn't it? Taking up a hobby isn't likely to drastically change the personality of the person taking it up.

 

That aside, people do grow apart naturally, usually through the natural process of getting to know each other better. If my ladyfriend naturally changes in my perception beyond recognition, to the extent that she was no longer a person I wanted to be around, we'd have to part ways. The same goes for her, if I changed drastically.

 

However, this bears no relation to the initial premise: I don't really like being around people who aren't happy with who they are, or who I am.

 

Thus a woman who wants to change her man- or a man who wants to change his woman- is something I really hate, because it's insulting to the poor soul he or she's trying to change. Instead of latching onto this poor soul and trying to mould them into a fantasy, they should be more realistic in their world view. Of course, they never will... because people don't change that drastically.

 

PS: You are "the man" lukeiamyourdad. Oh yes.

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I should know. I'm hardly the same person I was two years ago...
No offence, but I've never met nor heard of anyone who changed in any meaningful way from the time they were adolescent. (more accurately, from the time they finished adolescence.) People like to think they change, and more, that they can change at will. People like to feel in control of their fates and personalities. I'm not saying our days are written in advance, I AM saying that core personality does not alter and this naturally influences our path in life. If someone has an addictive personality that never goes away, even if they learn to abstain from certain things like alcohol or cigarettes. They substitute other addictions instead.
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I dispute this. People don't change, as a rule. People may be able to change certain aspects of their behaviour through sheer force of will (alcoholics abstaining for example) but the psychology that drove them to do those things in the first place remains. Thus, alcoholics must maintain focus every day, etcetera. This is the same for minor things.

 

People grow as they mature and learn more things. Hopefully they never stop learning. People definitely change in relationships. They have to, to try to find a balance between what they would want to do if they only had themselves to consider vs. hitting a happy medium on what they want relating to what their partner wants. Some partners are supportive and easy to be around. Others are nagging and fault finding and a real challenge. Some are self centered and others are supportive. WHo you end up will bring out a different side to your personality.

 

 

 

That's a little extreme, isn't it? Taking up a hobby isn't likely to drastically change the personality of the person taking it up.

 

No but they may develop new friends and grow as they learn new things. Hobby may not be a strong enough word. That sounds innocuous and back-burner like. Activity, avocation, passion.

Let's say your girlfriend takes a ballroom dancing class, decides she likes it and wants to go dancing every Friday, and you don't.

What if there are kids and she wants to go back to college? You may want her home fixing dinner and taking care of those kids while you relax after your day job. That's an example that could create conflict.

Okay let's say you and your girlfriend are atheists, or agnostics, and she becomes a born-again Christian. That's a change. How would you handle it?

 

 

Thus a woman who wants to change her man- or a man who wants to change his woman- is something I really hate,

 

I agree with this. You need to accept that person for who he/she is. What if your partner was doing drugs? Would you try to change that behavior?

 

 

Of course, they never will... because people don't change that drastically.

 

I don't think I agree with this. There may be elements of your personality that don't change. But the purpose of your life or your priorities may change.

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People grow as they mature and learn more things. Hopefully they never stop learning.
Of course people stop learning, people are lazy. People like to be static and comfortable. Self-improvement comes a not-so-close second to familiarity and the status quo. Even intellectual professionals like doctors and other miscellaneous medicos have been shown in various studies to have not bothered to read any medical journals after they graduated from med-school. There was a big outcry about that in my own neck of the woods a few years ago.

 

WHo you end up will bring out a different side to your personality.
All situations bring out different SIDES of our personalities slightly more strongly. Bringing out something more strongly is not however a change to the core of a person, their deep-down persona. Someone who's nagging in a relationship is usually arrogant in different areas of their life as well, and someone who's subservient in marriage is likewise also subservient in other areas.

 

Activity, avocation, passion.
Okay, but people who are passionate about such pursuits don't just develop this passion overnight. Chances are, when I meet such a girl she'll be passionate about something else (apart from me that is :D )... like... Tae kwan do and so it won't be any large change if she tries something new, like ballroom dancing. People who engage in "hobbies" for want of a better word, well, they're that sort of persona. That sort of personality type. If that's what I fall in love with, so be it.

 

Okay let's say you and your girlfriend are atheists, or agnostics, and she becomes a born-again Christian. That's a change. How would you handle it?
Personally I look on that as cultist in nature. I'd call it a malevolent outside influence in such a case, which is obviously not what we're talking about.

 

I don't think I agree with this. There may be elements of your personality that don't change. But the purpose of your life or your priorities may change.
In my experience only something as drastic as child-rearing can have such an effect. But even then, if a person's an irresponsible waste of oxygen before they have children, they'll usually mess up the kid in one way or another. Even having a kid isn't always enough to change someone.
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Someone who's nagging in a relationship is usually arrogant in different areas of their life as well, and someone who's subservient in marriage is likewise also subservient in other areas.

 

Well I have seen the opposite in my experience. There are people who are charming at work, but bastards at home. Bing Crosby was supposed to have been like that.

People in leadership positions on the job or in the military being henpecked at home. It happens.

 

Okay, but people who are passionate about such pursuits don't just develop this passion overnight.

 

Yes they can. I know first hand.

 

Chances are, when I meet such a girl she'll be passionate about something else (apart from me that is )... like... Tae kwan do and so it won't be any large change if she tries something new, like ballroom dancing. People who engage in "hobbies" for want of a better word, well, they're that sort of persona. That sort of personality type. If that's what I fall in love with, so be it.

 

What sort of personality "type" engages in hobbies? You think only certain personalities have hobbies??? What personality "types" don't have hobbies?

 

Personally I look on that as cultist in nature. I'd call it a malevolent outside influence in such a case, which is obviously not what we're talking about.

 

You said: "A female who doesn't want to change herself or meself, is always welcome. I'm happy with who I am, if I like a girl it's because I'm happy with who she is, why change either?"

 

We are talking about what changes could occur. She may seem static and unchangeable but I am giving examples of things that may happen to challenge your comfortable (and unrealistic, imo) views.

 

NQ: But the purpose of your life or your priorities may change.

SA: In my experience only something as drastic as child-rearing can have such an effect. ...Even having a kid isn't always enough to change someone.

 

If someone experiences a crisis situation, you'll see how their priorities change.

http://www.gazeta.ru/2004/09/06/oa_132493.shtml

I would say these families may not be so concerned about their (surviving) children attending school any more.

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