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Farkin' Gross, Mang!


CapNColostomy

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It was a really cold and stormy night where I lived, I was cold so I went and made me some hot chocolate. I drank some and put it down on the table so I could got to the bathroom. It took me 20 minutes(Just kidding, or not I can't remember)to do it. When I got out I headed for my chocolate, I took one drink and felt something solid. I didn't swallow the thing, it was wiggling. I took it out of my mouth and guess what it was...

 

A COCKROACH BLEEGHH AND IT WIGGLED

 

Thats pretty gross

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Originally posted by JediDüde

It was a really cold and stormy night where I lived, I was cold so I went and made me some hot chocolate. I drank some and put it down on the table so I could got to the bathroom. It took me 20 minutes(Just kidding, or not I can't remember)to do it. When I got out I headed for my chocolate, I took one drink and felt something solid. I didn't swallow the thing, it was wiggling. I took it out of my mouth and guess what it was...

 

A COCKROACH BLEEGHH AND IT WIGGLED

 

Thats pretty gross

 

 

Oh dear Lord and all that is holy! :barf:

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Originally posted by JediDüde

Come to think of it, the roach tasted like berries that danced in your mouth

 

That's probably just you getting high on it's disgusting roach juices.

 

 

 

 

 

Mmmmmmmmm... Roach juices... :drool1:

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I got another one. I dropped a chocolate chip cookie on the floor a few years back, and being a conservative soul who doesn't like to waste good food, I picked it up and dusted it off. I looked at it, then popped it into my mouth and chewed it enthusiastically.

 

For some reason though, I hadn't seen the huge and ergy dustball that was attached to it, made up of dog hair, regular house dust (but thick) and unidentifiable crunchy bits.

 

It took an hour before I removed the last dog hair from between my teeth. I haven't eaten anything that dropped onto any surface since, no matter how clean-looking that surface might be.

 

A COCKROACH BLEEGHH AND IT WIGGLED
Oooh! Protein.

 

Great. You've got balls that clank.
Finally, someone understands Spider AL.
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A few weeks ago, I was feeding my 5 month old nephew. I thought my brother sitting next to me was farting, (gross) and I started to feel something really warm and squishy on my legs where the baby was. And to my horror, my nephew had **** and it had went out of his diaper, all up his back, and on my legs. And it wasn't my brother farting, it was his son, my nephew!

 

Ewww :indif:

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Originally posted by Spider AL

Lol. Apparently Datheus, I've been an amateur arachnologist since I was five, and therefore I don't require a lecture on necrotoxic venom.

 

And I've overcome my fear of spiders. If I saw a spider on my kevlar helmet, I wouldn't go-jelly-legged and try to kill it until I'd determined whether it was dangerous or not. If it was dangerous or even possibly dangerous, I'd have killed it in a far more deliberate, efficient way than Rogue15 attempted. Thus it wouldn't have survived and dropped onto me later on... QED tbh.

 

 

:rolleyes:

 

you>me

 

:rolleyes:

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Originally posted by Astrotoy7

Rhett and Chase go cow tossing

 

That sounds very, very, very disturbing. Anyways, nothing gross has happened to me, exept when a massive fly went straight into my eye and got stuck. Ugh.

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Originally posted by Astrotoy7

So do you, Rhett and Chase go cow tossing :)

 

 

I hope for everyones sake you mean that in a cow throwing way, and not in any other sort of way like a (self edited coz i knew it would be) sort of way.

 

Though I knew some one who's job was to (the other way) pigs to collect it for AI.

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Originally posted by Astrotoy7

what ! you too ! I thought you lived at the Dawn of Time, which is much cooler.... So do you, Rhett and Chase go cow tossing :)

 

mtfbwya

 

*pssst* Where else in the world would there still be Highlander fans? :D

 

Not gross, but embarasing. I remember when I was about 16, I was at this water park. I kept going down this giant twisted water slide, and I remember walking past these two girls, that kept gigling but didn't say anything, I thought it was a flirt, but come to find out, the entire back side of my swim trunks were gone. Apparently that slide was a bit much for the fabric. I ran for my towell, b lined to the showers and have been scarred for life ever since.

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My dogs got sprayed by a skunk the night before. As if thats not gross enough, it seems that the smell went on my clothes, and I dindt know. So, I was at school yesterday, and my friend said "Dude...you smell like, I can;t describe it. Like Rubber Cement, or like garbage or something.."

And I was thinking "Oh ****. The smell went on my clothes?!!!? ****!!!"

 

Well, I took my shirt off, and my friend had a couple shirts on so he let me wear one of his. So,I put his on. And well, I took a sniff of my other shirt, and sure enough it smelled like skunk.

 

It seems that afterwards, I still smelled, because a few people told me that I smelled. Needless to say, I went home halfway through the day. And I didn't go to school today, in fear of smelling...

 

At least, and thank God, I avoided the ladies. Cept, I told one of them about my dilemma, and they were like "Jeez!!! Its not that big of a deal!!!!" But still, I didnt feel like testing my luck.

 

Thats the worst day of my life in the last couple years.

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Originally posted by Astrotoy7

So do you, Rhett and Chase go cow tossing

 

 

Originally posted by jon_hill987

I hope for everyones sake you mean that in a cow throwing way, and not in any other sort of way like a (self edited coz i knew it would be) sort of way.

 

 

I hope you both mean "Cow Tipping" , cause I don't even want to know what jon_hill is talking about .

Although astro's idea is intriguing...........just imagine 3 guys in the middle of the night trying to lift and throw a 1300 lb. cow :lol:

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Originally posted by Pie™

If that's the worst day in a couple of years, I'd say you're pretty lucky...

 

Well, also, today a girl I like, in her journal, after me commenting told me to "stop being so smelly, then come back to school" or something, even though I didnt see her the whole day. I seriously feel like my life is ruined.

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Originally posted by narfblat

I've heard that a bath in vinegar can help get rid of the smell(My brother said it was vinegar that makes tomato juice remove skunk smell.) That will make you smell like vinegar for a little while, but it should remove the smell.

 

Well, thing is, I didn't get sprayed. But maybe I'll spray down my dogs in vinegar...

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I just thought of something gross, but it sounds like it comes out of a movie, yet true all the same.

 

One of my buddies weighed about 300 pounds when I was in junior high, but he was a good freind, he had a great sence of humor, and would always be there for you in a jam.

 

There was this one kid that used to piss me his name was Eric Macki. He was your a-typical brain child, honors student who would never pass the chance at making somebody feel less superior than he, yet he INSISTED on sitting at OUR table, because I always sat at the geek table. I have always had a profound love for the geeks and cast aways, because most of them are just misunderstood. Anyways, iI got tired of Eric being a constant pedantic, and made the mistake of saying "just once I'd like to nail that Eric Macki kid right where it counts. Jeff my 300LB friend lit up and said "watch this!" Anyways Eric goes and grabs a Burger, then runs off to go get some ketch-up and napkins. While Eric is away, Jeff snorts and coughs and spits the largest goober I have EVER seen in my life onto Eric's berger, and neatly places the bun back on top. We play along and go back to our conversation, Eric comes back and adds his ketchup to the gooey mess, and takes a bite. Suddenly Jeff stops in mid sentance as Eric bites a HUGE chunk out of his sandwich and immediately pukes in his plate, then we tell Eric what he just ate, and he himself pukes on the table, then my other buddies the Sanders Twins both puke on the table, the rest of us ran out of the building. We all got in trouble, Eric never sat with us again, and I could not eat hamburgers for a long, long time. Sounds like something out of Stand Bye Me but I tell you these things DO happen. However this all happened BEFORE that movie came out. Farkin gross mang...

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