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Crappy Jokes Thread!!!!


GothiX

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Originally posted by BongoBob

Ok, a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender notices and asks him why.

 

He says, *in best pirate voive* "ARGH! IT DRIVES ME NUTS!"

 

:D

 

:rofl:

 

XD

 

Greatness.

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Originally posted by jebbers

o these jokes are so bad, they are funny....my mom likes the pirate joke...

 

Arg it drives me nuts!

 

thats rich and wholesome

Ehh, I already knew that pirate one, I always said "Its driving me nuts."

 

okay, my joke.

 

 

Moe: Why did Stupid Steve eat his take-home exam?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joe: Because his teacher told him it was "a piece of cake."

:p

 

TiE

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a guy walks into a bar, says to the barman, "if i show you something really great can i have a free drink?"

"sure" replied the barman.

so the man reached into his jacket and takes out a mouse and a tiny piano and puts them on the bar.

the mouse then sits down at the tiny piano and plays a tune.

"wow," said the barman, "that is good! here have a free drink"

 

after the man had finished his drink he said to the barman "if i show you something even better could a have another free drink?

"better than that?! sure!" replied the barman.

the man reached into his jacket again, pulled out the mouse and the tiny piano and then took out a frog and a tiny microphone.

the mouse started to play the piano and then the frog started to sing along.

"amazing!" cried the barman and then he gave the man another free drink.

 

a moment later a man dressed in a suit walks over and says "i'll give you £50,000 for that frog"

"nah" answered the man.

"ok £100,000"

"sorry, no"

"£250,000 in cash right now"

"ok, you got a deal"

so after the suited man returned with the money the man gave him the frog.

 

once the suited man had left the barman walks over to the man and says "are you crazy?! you could have sold that frog for millions"

"nah" replied the man, "the frog's nothing special... you see the mouse is a ventriloquist"

 

 

 

and if you thought that was bad.....

 

 

a lady goes to the vets with her pet hamster. she lays the hamster on the table and says to the vet "i think my hamster is ill. it doesn't eat or drink and it hasn't moved in days"

so the vet takes a look at the hamster and after a minute ot two the vet says "sorry but your hamster is dead"

"no!" said the lady "it can't be. isn't there any tests you can do?"

"believe me, it is dead" replied the vet.

"please, i want to be sure"

"ok"

the vet goes out the back and brings back a labrador. the labrador looks over the hamster, sniffs it and then looks at the vet and shakes it's head.

"it's dead" said the vet

"no, please try something else" said the lady

so then the vet goes out the back and then brings out a cat.

the cat pokes the hamster with its pawn, sniffs it and then looks at the vet and shakes its head.

 

"see" said the vet "it's dead"

 

"ok, fine." said the lady. "how much do i owe you?"

 

"£5000" replied the vet.

 

"how much!?" cried the lady "just to tell me my pet is dead??!!"

 

"well if you had believe me first of all the charge would have been a lot less. but after the lab's opinon and the cat scan the price has increased considerable."

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Originally posted by jon_hill987

I got this one off never mind the buzzc*cks:

 

You are trapped in a room with Elton John and Micheal Jackson, you have a gun with only one bullet in it what do you do?

 

 

You beat them to death with the gun, escape and go looking for Justin Timberlake

:lol:

Nice!

 

TiE

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Originally posted by *Yoinked*

What is the difference between a duck?

 

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

 

 

 

big spoiler, brace your self...

 

 

 

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

One of its legs are both the same!

 

:p

 

I don't get it... :confused:

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