RC-1162 Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 hey, no fair. Lords of Writing dont do that to faithful readers and fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 Okay, okay, chill out. Here it is. I blame you!!! jkjk Wait...blame you for what?....umm....nvm. ____________________________________________________________ ---Chapter Ten--- Bastila picked up the datapad from the ground and walked back over to Revan. “Revan…” she said, at a loss for words. She pulled a chair up next to him, draping her arm over his shoulders. “I…I don’t know what to say…” “Then say nothing at all.” he replied emotionlessly. She shrank back slightly. He was really taking this hard. “Please…I just want to help.” His anger flaring again, Revan grabbed Bastila’s wrist in a vice-grip and waved the barely-working datapad in her face. “Do you think that you can help me??” he asked, his grip strengthening with his anger, “In spite of all this, do you believe that somehow you can help me?” “Revan--” “Do you??” his voice continuing to rise, his face turning slightly red. “Revan, you’re hurting me.” Bastila said, shrinking back. Fear shone in her watering eyes. A stunned, fearful expression formed on Revan’s face. Slowly, he released her wrist, drawing back. He stood, turning away from her. He walked over to the window once again, placing both palms flat against the glass, almost begging for it to give way beneath him and fall to the ground, taking him with it. A storm had blown in and lightning forked the sky as the rain flattened the grass and wind whipped the trees about. Those four words had sent Revan over the edge. Bastila feared for him. He was deathly white and his face was set in a mixed expression of fear, disbelief, and self-loathing. “Revan…” she spoke his name once again, coming over to him and touching his shoulder lightly. “You…you should leave.” “No, I won’t leave you. I want to help--” “Please,” he interrupted, “leave me to my sorrow.” “Why don’t you see that I would do anything for you?” Bastila asked in a whisper. Revan didn’t respond. Sighing in resignation, Bastila reached up and gave him a light kiss on the cheek before turning and leaving. Later that night, as rain pounded against the windows, lightning lit the night sky, and thunder shook the compound, Revan lay thrashing in his bed. “You’re stronger than I am, and there’s no point telling me otherwise. You will be a great Jedi, I think. I hope.” He and Bastila stood in a dormitory of the Ebon Hawk. “In some ways, you make me feel weak, like I am caught up in the wake of our destiny. But at the same time, you make me feel stronger, more alive.” he heard Bastila’s voice explain. He knew this time…all those years ago… “And I feel more alive when I’m with you.” he heard himself respond. “But…I realize now that these feelings are part of the bond we share. The Council had surely known this. They knew that my loyalty to the doctrines of our Order would be tested on this mission. “By facing and overcoming my feelings for you, I have learned a valuable lesson about control and the dangers of emotion. This is an important step to understanding the Force. “I’m sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. But I felt it was important that you knew our…infatuation…was nothing more than a result of our powerful bond.” “You’re rationalizing, Bastila.” Revan heard his own voice echo out again, “You’re just scared to face the truth!” “You’re the one who can’t face the truth! Malak must be stopped. How can I do that if I let myself be blinded by my feelings for you?” “I’m going to stop Malak, Bastila, but I want to do it with you at my side.” “You…You really mean that, don’t you? But how can I be certain you’re not making a mistake? I…I must resist. I have to be strong. For both of us.” Bastila said. But her voice was full of uncertainty…almost…doubtful. “You know I’m right, Bastila.” “But I don’t…I mean, I can’t….Malak would…” Bastila was faltering. “I love you, Bastila,” Revan heard his voice echo out yet again, giving that final push. He stepped closer to her, close enough to touch, “And I know you love me.” “Okay,” Bastila said passionately, “You’ve made your point. Now shut up and kiss me you fool.” She fell into his arms, and their lips met in a passionate kiss that lasted several minutes. Bastila grabbed the cloth of his shirt, clinging to him desperately, and he held the side of her head, holding her lips against his. When they finally broke apart, they were out of breath. Bastila’s hands slipped from his chest, and she backed away slowly, shaking slightly. “We…we shouldn’t have done that…It was wrong. The Jedi aren’t supposed to fall in love!” “It didn’t feel wrong to me.” he said defiantly. “It…It was a moment of weakness…when I kissed you…we shouldn’t have…I’m sorry, no! “I know we both wanted it, but we shouldn’t have given in to our desire! We’re Jedi! We can’t act like this! Not now, not while we still have to deal with Malak. I’m sorry…I don’t blame you…it was a mistake. I have to get out of here before someone sees us together!” The scene before him faded… Revan continued to toss and turn. Why did these memories resurface now? “You will go on to defeat Malak, and go from the Dark Lord himself to the savior of the galaxy.” Another scene bloomed before his eyes, this time on the Star Forge. “But before you do that…” Bastila began. She was clutching her side. Revan shivered as he remember that he was the one who had hurt her. “there is something I must know… “Will there be a place for me in your future? Do you…” she took a breath, apparently steadying herself before dropping the bomb, “Do you love me?” Despite himself, he felt a joyous, excited, warm feeling envelope in his chest. A feeling that he had been without for far too long. “I do love you, Bastila.” “And I love you, with all my heart.” “You aren’t afraid to love anymore?” “After this? There is nothing that would make me feel safer than being loved by you.” Revan woke. He found his brow covered in cold sweat. For a moment, he just lay there, staring at the stone wall…then the regret and guilt hit him like a hammer blow. He slowly sat up. Good luck, my love, and may the Force be with you. Bastila had always been there for him, just as he had always been there for her. They relied on each other…and right now, he was letting Bastila down. He was distancing himself from her, pushing her away. He was doing her a great injustice, and she did not deserve it. He stood and grabbed his shirt, then proceeded to throw it around his shoulders, not bothering to close up the front. As he left, he glanced at the clock. Three in the morning. Well, it was better than nothing. At least everyone else was asleep. On silent feet, Revan slipped into the hallway, heading for Bastila’s dormitory. When he found the right door, he knocked. He waited for a moment…but there was no sound, so he entered a code and opened the door, creeping inside and closing the door behind him. The room was dark, as was everything else at this time of night. He looked over to the bed, and he smiled as he saw Bastila’s form laying there. He knelt at her bedside. She was so peaceful and beautiful when she slept…he couldn’t take his eyes from her face. As he watched, she shifted slightly, and a loose strand of hair fell across her face. Unable to help himself, he brushed it away. He started as she shifted again, mumbling “Revan…” A moment later, her eyes fluttered open. “Revan!” she said, surprise written across her face. She sat up, startled. “Shhh…” he pressed a finger against his lips. “It is late, the others are still sleeping.” he said quietly. Revan stood, walking away for a moment. Then, with his back to her, he said, “Look…Bastila…I’m sorry. I lost control of myself back there. I…I was weak and gave in to my rage. You didn’t deserve that.” he turned back to her. “I’m sorry.” “Revan…” she said slowly. Standing, Bastila crossed the room to where he stood. For a moment, they just stood there, looking into each others eyes. Then, Bastila collapsed into Revan’s arms, tears streaming from her eyes. “I was so afraid…I was afraid I had lost you…” she said between sobs. Revan wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her close, as much for his comfort as for hers. Her hands rested on his bare chest, her tears falling onto his tanned, muscled skin. He held her close, stroking and twirling her hair. “It’s alright…it won’t happen again…I promise…” he whispered. He breathed in the intoxicating scent of her hair and flesh, reveling in her touch, and enjoying the warm feeling that spread through his entire body. He kissed her forehead, then lay his head on hers. Neither of them knew how long they stood there, and frankly, neither cared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 great addition! though i never got to the part where revan and bastila kiss on the ebon hawk. gotta play it again. keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 Really? Well, in case you hadn't figured it out already, that's at the part where you have (pretty much) the last convo with Bastila before she goes DS. And if you follow exactly what Revan said when he said it, then you should get it. Perhaps I should've put that part of the chapter in a spoiler...oops. Well then it would look funky...I dunno.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 do they really kiss? or is it another one of those blackout things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Its a black out. But seriously Forcefight, do they onl kiss or aren't they supposed to go farther . Great story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 LOL!!! Well, from what I could see, it was only a short time, so I think that it stayed a kiss...maybe...but hey, my story's PG-13 at worst, so...heheh. Yeah, its a stupid black out. I despise Bioware for that. Just let 'em kiss, damn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Another great chapter! Suggestion...now that the relationship has gone through a few stages (reunion, strife, and resolution), you should focus more on the main plot of the story. The romance shouldn't overshadow the quest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snafu7 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Great Chapter ForceFightWMe Another great chapter! Suggestion...now that the relationship has gone through a few stages (reunion, strife, and resolution), you should focus more on the main plot of the story. The romance shouldn't overshadow the quest. Agree 100% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 I know, I know, I'm getting to it, keep your shirt on...lol I was actually just thinking that myself. Now that things have been resolved, its time we move on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I have been thinking about printing out your chapters and taking them to a friend of mine who is an English teacher just to see what she has to say about your writing skills. Personally, I believe she will be blown away when I tell her that you aren't even in high school yet. Do you mind if I do this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 Sure, go ahead. I'm actually surprised that you would want to do this. I guess its safe to say I'm honored . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 actually, my english teacher thinks very, very, very highly of my writing skills. ive told her that ive written two fanfics on the net, but im sure if she thinks mine is great, then she'll think that you must be from one of the planets you portray in your story Bioware must not have been able to extend their lips or something. the graphics in the game are not entirely the best. if you play a female with a ponytail, youll see that in the star map dreams, when she tosses around before the dreams, the ponytail comes jiggling in and out of the pillow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 Lol, well yeah but the graphics are some of the best of their kind I've seen. At least they like blink and their mouths move relativly with their words and they move their arms and shift feet and stuff. I really don't care about the graphics, just show the little kissy kissy already :-* Actually my Lit teacher knows that I write fanfics online too...she just doesn't know about this fanfic...eheheh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 You guys get all the good teachers, mine make me diagram sentences and identify verbs! Great work, post the next chapter soon, and tell us when your getting published! And thanks to your hard work I've been inspired to get back to my little fic on the weekends, mind if I use a few events from your fic to influence mine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 I've been inspired to get back to my little fic on the weekends, mind if I use a few events from your fic to influence mine? You know, I have been influenced as well, but I am no writer. I think I may start a new painting based on the scene of Bastila with Revan in the library. Have him looking out the window with his back to the viewer so that all you see is his silhouette. Maybe have Bastilla in the extreme foreground so that all you see of her is the edge of her thigh and a hand holding a datapad. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 that sounds cool, but i think it would be better if both of them were silhouetted and it portrayed baatila trying to calm an angry revan down. well thats my opinion. do what you think is best. Actually my Lit teacher knows that I write fanfics online too...she just doesn't know about this fanfic...eheheh... why, does she object to kissy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 Wow, I had no idea that I had such an effect on people...well, my writting anyway. Well, sure, Hallucination, you can borrow some of the events...just please, don't copy. Now that might sound kinda contradictory, but I think you get what I mean. And getting published? Sorry, but I think that that may be going a little too far too soon.... Both of those ideas sound cool. Well, do what you wish, its fine with me. I would just be curious if you would be able to get it on the computer so that I could see it Well...my Lit teacher doesn't know about this one because...well...she's more of a reader rather than a gamer. So she wouldn't understand anything even if she did read it. She isn't exactly nuts about Star Wars either...heheh...but I've got other fanfiction based on books like Eragon that she knows about...I think she actually might have read one, I dunno... (Oh and Hallucination, I feel your pain. We had to diagram sentences one time and I think I failed the test...hehe, oops...) Well, thanks everyone, and I'm working on the next chapter.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Well, if I do paint that picture, I can always take a shot with a digital camera and post it. I have a large piece of Masonite that has been sitting empty for awhile, so that may be what I'll paint it on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Wouldnt it be better on canvas? maybe u can start a new museum of star wars paintings And getting published? Sorry, but I think that that may be going a little too far too soon.... actually, im sure of 1 thing, if u get this story published, youll make the guinness book for youngest writer to earn title of Best Writer in The Country(or World) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 Actually, getting this story published would be a bit of an impossibility since they actually are making KotOR III, so... And MdKnight, that would be great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Wouldnt it be better on canvas? Nah. Canvas is good for some things, but I prefer to work on a rigid surface. It allows me to get better detail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Angel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 You win.... A GIANT COOKIE! WOOHOO! This story is awsome, keep it comin'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForceFightWMe12 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 Whou-hou!! Go me, go me, I get a cookie, I get a cookie! Thanks, I'm glad you like it! I should have the next chapter up soon... As for the whole canvas thing, I haven't a clue. I think I might be better off with a pen and paper than a paintbrush and canvas or whatever. Or a keyboard and computer for that matter. I'm not really an artsy person... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 hey, what about me? dont i get at least 1/4 of a cookie youre a mean mean man j/k well, im kinda semi artsy and i might think of drwing a cover page for this story if it was ever published Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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