Cover letter Help plz

[RevanA4]

*sighs* ok I'm in the stage of needing a cover letter for my resume and I SUCK at selling myself so I'm gonna post my cover letter here and see what some of you people think and any advice is greatly appreciated and plz note that it is just a basic letter I will customize it for each different company and job

To Whom It May Concern:

 

I have an interest in working for your company. In my previous job I created new users, maintained servers, dealt with daily, weekly, and monthly backups, fixed end user problems and dealt with upgrades for the users. As an employee I will strive to give you everything I have and more. On the job I’m not satisfied with just doing a job but using it to improve my overall knowledge and making others jobs quicker and more effective than before I got there. For example in my last job I helped the company go from one to two computer upgrades a day if we were lucky to at least four computers a day just by making use of one piece of software that made our jobs a basic swap instead of a 3 too 4 hour thing with getting the image ready and getting the users settings and files copied over into a 45 minute process with the use of the windows settings and files transfer wizard that is a built in part of the windows XP operating system. With the information as skills that I gained from my 4 month internship I feel I would make a positive addition to you company.

 

Sincerely

 

Christopher Goldbin

[ET Warrior]

Well, firstly, that is FAR too short. A cover letter should take up almost an entire page. It should also be composed of several different paragraphs. The first paragraph should include the job your are applying for, how you heard about it, and a little bit about yourself, just some general info, what kind of schooling you have and skillsets and such.

 

The next paragraph you should go into greater detail, if you have good experience in fields that are related to the job, describe your experience, talk about what kind of skills you're going ot bring to the job.

 

You also need a final paragraph, to sum up, just saying how you'd like to work there, how to contact you, how much you're looking forward to meeting with them and the like.

 

Also, you should not come up with a cover letter template, and apply it to all jobs. You should write a unique cover letter, completely tailored to whatever job you're applying for, otherwise it will be much harder to prove to that company that you've got what they need.

[RevanA4]

Well, firstly, that is FAR too short. A cover letter should take up almost an entire page. It should also be composed of several different paragraphs. The first paragraph should include the job your are applying for, how you heard about it, and a little bit about yourself, just some general info, what kind of schooling you have and skillsets and such.

 

The next paragraph you should go into greater detail, if you have good experience in fields that are related to the job, describe your experience, talk about what kind of skills you're going ot bring to the job.

 

You also need a final paragraph, to sum up, just saying how you'd like to work there, how to contact you, how much you're looking forward to meeting with them and the like.

 

 

ZOMG my mom said it was way to long so thanks for the help I suck at this kind of thing *awaits more advice*

[ET Warrior]

For a general idea, here is a cover letter I wrote for class. The only comments I recieved from the professor were that I wasn't quite detailed enough, and should've gone into a little more depth in some places.

 

Dear Ms. Tate:

 

I received an E-mail regarding your opening for a C++ Quality and Analysis tester, a subject that holds a great deal of interest for me. I was mostly intrigued by the fact that your company specializes in creating tools to assist other developers, which is something that I think would be very rewarding work. I am a third year college student, graduating in spring 2007 with a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science. I have enclosed a copy of my resume to give you more information about my academic and industrial experience.

 

At the University of Colorado, I have taken a great number of courses in C, C++, Java, and classes in Object Oriented Programming and Design, in addition to the basic requirements of a Computer Science Degree. I have also taken a course based on the principles of extreme programming, so I have a solid foundation in that aspect of software development. A great deal of my life has had me involved in computers in some way or another, and my Computer Science degree will augment my past, present, and future experiences nicely.

 

I have been working the last summer at the Laboratory of Atmosphere and Space physics, writing and testing scripts and procedures used in the control of satellites. This would obviously be useful experience as the position you are offering entails great amounts of testing. With my classroom and workplace training and experiences, I feel that I would be an effective, contributing member of Rogue Wave Software.

 

I would be delighted at the opportunity to meet with you to discuss possible employment at Rogue Wave Software. You can reach me via e-mail at my enclosed email address. I look forward to hearing from you.

[The Source]

Name

Address

Phone

 

Company Name

Address

 

To Whom It May Concern:

As I was searching though Monster.com, I notice Stop and Shop was in search of a graphic designer. For the past few years, I have been working in the production field. I believe that I meet the qualification for this position. According to your requirements, you are in search for someone who knows Quark Xpress. Since I studied and utilized Quark Xpress for four years, I believe I have the necesary skills for this opportunity.

 

At the current moment, I am a gaphic designer for the Boston Globe. During the past five years, I have been working on pagination, typesetting, and ad designing. As a graphic designer, I have developed skills in four color processing. Since color seperations are an everyday occurance, I have been exposed to various problem solving with imagesetters. Some of the programs I utilize on a everyday basis includes: Quark Xpress, Photoshop, InDesign, Microsoft Office, Ad Force, GoLive, DreamWeaver, and Illustrator. Some of the operating systems I utilize includes: Windows 3.11, 95, 98, 00, 03, XP, Mac Os 6.0, 7.0, 8.0, 9.0, 10.0.

 

In closing, I have been very intrested in Stop and Shop. While searching your site, I have also become very intrested in your companies success. If I were to become an employee at Stop and Shop, I will meet deadlines, work overtime to meet client needs, and troubleshoot when necessary. At the moment, I am in search for $40.000 a year. Please feel free to call between 7:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. My contact number is 000-000-0000.

 

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Your Name Here

[Bob Lion54]

Maybe a bit nitpicky, but I think you should change "To whom it may concern" to "Dear Sir or Madame,"

 

"To whom it may concern" sounds like a suicide note....... well, to me anyway. Plus, "Dear Sir or Madame" sounds more professional.

 

Other than that, I'd say ET Warrior has good advice.

[The Source]

Maybe a bit nitpicky, but I think you should change "To whom it may concern" to "Dear Sir or Madame,"

 

"To whom it may concern" sounds like a suicide note....... well, to me anyway. Plus, "Dear Sir or Madame" sounds more professional.

 

Other than that, I'd say ET Warrior has good advice.

 

I agree! Try to get a contact name, so you can make the letter a little personal.

[ET Warrior]

Generally, if there is a specific contact person it should be addressed to them, otherwise it is in fact proper procedure to open it with "to whom it may concern" no matter how odd it sounds.

[stoffe]

*sighs* ok I'm in the stage of needing a cover letter for my resume and I SUCK at selling myself so I'm gonna post my cover letter here and see what some of you people think and any advice is greatly appreciated (snip)

 

Paragraphs and commas would go a long way to make it more readable. You lost me somewhere in the middle of that text, having to re-read it several times to understand what you wrote in that marathon sentence (the one that makes up almost half your letter).

 

And I'm not someone who has to go through dozens or even hundreds of job applications. A letter that would have taken effort to read would probably have ended up in the recycling bin.

 

The purpose of your cover letter is to make them want to read your CV. Thus you'll want to capture their interest to make them want to keep reading.

[RevanA4]

Paragraphs and commas would go a long way to make it more readable. You lost me somewhere in the middle of that text, having to re-read it several times to understand what you wrote in that marathon sentence (the one that makes up almost half your letter).

 

And I'm not someone who has to go through dozens or even hundreds of job applications. A letter that would have taken effort to read would probably have ended up in the recycling bin.

 

The purpose of your cover letter is to make them want to read your CV. Thus you'll want to capture their interest to make them want to keep reading.

 

thanks stoffe -mdb-

[Achilles]

Your cover letter should be compelling enough to make the hiring manager want to read your resume. Your resume should be compelling enough to make them want to schedule you for an interview. Be professional and polite. Include enough information so that they can get a good feeling for what you bring to the table, but not so much that they feel that they know you well enough NOT to interview you.

 

Take the time to research etiquette and proper formatting. I've been known to throw away resumes that use abbreviations and I am not the only one that does so . Paper and presentation do just as much for you as having a laundry list of references. Sounds petty, but if you want the job, you gotta play the game.

 

If you wany any specific pointers let me know. You can PM me for my email address.

 

EDIT: Yeah and what Stoffe -mkb- said too

[JediKnight707]

You have good foundations, but you just need to liven it up a little! Heres what I would do:

 

To Mister or Madam,

 

I am interested in providing my talents to your company. In my previous job, I created new users, maintained servers, dealt with daily, weekly, and monthly backups, fixed end user problems and dealt with upgrades for the users. As an employee I will make great strides to give you everything I have learned, but of course I am willing to learn more. On the job I am not satisfied with just doing a job, but using it to improve my overall knowledge, making others jobs quicker, and more effective than before I got there. For example, in my previous job I helped then orginization go form very minimal output, to the maximum we could receive. I did this all with just one basic swap of programming in the Windows XP operating system; so that instead of using three to four hours on a single photo/image, I made that a forty-five minute process. With the information as well as the skills that I obtained from my four month internship, I feel I could excel in your fine company.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

Christopher Goldbin

 

 

 

This is just from editing your work, I would make it longer (and if your going for manager or superviser discuss your personality (i.e. I am fun and outgoing but maintain a constant working enviorment))

[Achilles]

^^^^

Better, but still needs work. I would probably "file" that resume based on the cover letter.

[TheOssusKeeper]

another tip that might help make it fill the page a little better, double space it... just a thought

 

Edit: and indent, that might be good

[ET Warrior]

This isn't an english paper, this is a cover letter for a job. You're not trying to impress them with having a letter that's a full page. You want a full paged letter because you want a full page of information so they will hire you.

[TheOssusKeeper]

Maybe not an english paper...

I disagree; you are trying to impress them...

But I agree, not by having a full page...

And having a full page of information about yourself so they will hire is not necessary, meaning; you can tell them about yourself and your goals and how they will benefit by hiring you, but it doesn't need to be a full page... there is a such thing as over-kill

Double spacing helps make the page look fuller when you don't have enough info or don't want to set down and write an essay...

And yes they will look at how well the cover page is written, at least most employers will, if it looks good, you have a better chance of being hired... and indenting adds a little quality and better looking cover page...

 

Here is some links to some really good tips on making a good cover sheet for a resume:

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/resume/Five_Common_Cover_Letter_Mistakes__2003228-1318.html?subtopic=Formatting+and+Content

 

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/pw/p_yresum.html

 

http://www.careers.pitt.edu/cybercounselor/pdf/cybertakeone/Resumes.pdf

[ET Warrior]

I disagree; you are trying to impress them...

But I agree, not by having a full page...

Well then you dont disagree with me, since that's exactly what I said. You cannot convey to an employer all of your key attributes, and how you're going to contribute to their company in less than a page. There simply isn't the room for it. If you only have half a page, and somebody else has a well written full page, odds are you've already lost before they even read the letter. They will see the obvious effort that they put into it, and appreciate it.

[TheOssusKeeper]

no i don't disagree on that point

 

it's all in the wording...

 

a person can ramble a whole page full and not get anywhere, even if you have a half of a page, if it is worded really well it is better then the rambled full page...

[ET Warrior]

Well obviously, I wasn't saying make a full page of crap. I said write a good full paged cover letter, because a good full page is better than a good half page.

[TheOssusKeeper]

thats true, but you can write only what you have, thats all i'm say'n...