Daft Adidas Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 This is the place to tell your hilarious jokes so i'll start. What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milo Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can un-screw a light bulb. LOLOLOOOLLOLOOLO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 22, 2007 Author Share Posted January 22, 2007 Ugh! Anyway this is my answer A weasel is weasily recognised but a stoat is stotaly different! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 This is a really bad joke that I picked up that my family busted over from Everybody Loves Raymond. What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons? Hose A and Hose B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlo El Sanchez Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Hose A and Hose B ? i didnt look at the spoiler....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yeah I know that is a bad joke. I have another bad joke that I heard from my boss. What did the fish say when he saw the wall? dam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Kered Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Here's a philosophical joke I heard recently: Don't walk in front of me, I cannot follow you, Don't walk behind me, I cannot lead you, Don't walk beside me, the path is narrow... Actually, just leave me alone!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yeah I know that is a bad joke. I have another bad joke that I heard from my boss. What did the fish say when he saw the wall? dam I knew that one one all my friends say it....... Here's one i have a dog who likes eating shuttlecocks. His name is Minton. Badminton! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I've deleted a few posts with racial jokes and/or questionable content. If you'd like this thread to stay open, keep the jokes clean, and stay away from racial jokes. If I continue seeing jokes that are out of line, I will be forced to close this thread, and I'm not going to give any more warning than this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 What do you call a fly in Paris? a French Fly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Kered Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a VERY cold winter?" "Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Nice one Albetot, here is a good long joke. There were three men walking through the desert a greedy man, a poor man and a stupid man. They could see a man and something in the distance. "Is that a sldie?" the greedy man asked. "Yes!" shouted the poor man. "Wha?" said the stupid man. They came up to the slide and it was real. "Roll up, role up for the magic slide before you go down it you shout whatever you want and you will land in it." The greedy man barged to the front and shouted, "Food, glorious food!" He started stuffing his face in chocolate. After two hours he was finished eating an it was the poor mans turn. "Money!" he started rolling around in it. Then later it was the poor mans turn.. "A slide!" he said. He jumped down and shouted. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" What did he land in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Spell checking and grammar are your friends. What are Santa's helpers called? Subordinate Clauses :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMojo Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 What is red and green and goes round and round and round at 200 Mph ? A frog in a blender Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Here's an old one: When is a door not a door? when it's a jar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET Warrior Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 What's Black, White, Red, and has trouble going through revolving doors? A nun with a spear through her neck I'll be here all week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Adidas Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 What noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 What did the Vestal Virgin say to the eunuch? 'I'd be willing if you were able...' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Ok Darth Insidious... never mind Here's another, a knock knock joke. Yeah I know it's bad but I picked this up from somewhere and I wonder if anyone knows where it came from: Knock, Knock Who's there? Madam Madam who? Madam foot caught in the door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Copper and Tin are sitting in a bar drinking and playing pool. Gold walks in and Copper yells across the bar: "AU! Get out of here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HerbieZ Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Scientific knowledge jokes are not allowed here. AND furthermore, it is spelt upper case 'A' lower case 'u'. /whipcrack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Scientific knowledge jokes are not allowed here. AND furthermore, it is spelt upper case 'A' lower case 'u'. /whipcrack It was being yelled, and since it was a story I used poetic licence to warrant the capitalisation of the 'u'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Copper and Tin are sitting in a bar drinking and playing pool. Gold walks in and Copper yells across the bar: "AU! Get out of here!" Ag! He couldn't get a word in edgewise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Here's a music joke i heard, pretty lame i know but anyway C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're a minor and the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under arrest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrong doing, even accidental. The judge rules that all contrary motions are bassless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.