Bourne vs. Bond

[Jae Onasi]

Watch the language, people, and keep it from getting too silly, k? thx

[Mike Windu]

They're bloody kung fu movies, of course they're choreographed extensively. It's the point.

 

I vote Chan just to spite Achilles.

[Jeff]

If we're talking about the current Bond, Craig, I think he'd definitely win - he seemed to be much better at hand-to-hand combat than previous Bonds. But it would be a close call.

[HerbieZ]

Bob Holness played James Bond? I remember him from Blockbusters.

[Commander Obi-Wan]

James Bond. Why?

 

I dunno, I just think he would. Bourne is great and all, but I've seen well enough Bond movies and all the hand-to-hand combats to convince me enough. Plus, I like James Bond more than Jason Bourne.

 

Though, seeing Daniel Craig versus Matt Damon in their respective characters fight one against one with just hand-to-hand combat would be wicked. Or even a NO HOLDS BARRED match would be incredible.

[Gargoyle King]

Bourne is good, but Bond is the best. I'm not a Bond fan but i do know that after all Bond has been through, Bourne wouldn't stand a chance. The best bond was Connery IMO, and Damon wasn't a match by a long shot i thought, neither was Richard Chamberlain in the 1988 original for that matter either.

Dialogue:

Matt Damon: "Matt Damon!"

Oh Team America, i loved the skit of Damon on that, made him look like a complete retard!

Neither.

 

Chuck Norris.

I Second That!

[JediMasterJambi]

Watch the language, people, and keep it from getting too silly, k? thx

I hear ya. Comedy is very dangerous in forms. It somehow lightens the mood, thereby killing off all the vampiric thread posters instantly. All the thread posters that aren't vampiric, but still "perfer dark moods" also enter a comatose state. I'll make sure to keep my posts "silly" free from now on.

Neither.

 

Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris dosn't sleep, he waits.

I third that vote.

[Corinthian]

Well, Chuck Norris could handle Bourne easily. Along with Jack Bauer and Bond, all at the same time. But that's not really relevant.

 

Bond would win. It doesn't matter if it's a hand to hand fight or what. Bond would get his can handed to him for the first 90% of the fight, and then suddenly, after wiping his bloody lip, tell Bourne his shoes are untied and then punch him in the face. After that, he'd begin to declare his Boomstick.

[REDJOHNNYMIKE]

Bond on the other hand, has years of experience at his disposal, MI6 and a whole share of connections (Felix, to name one) that can provide him with excellent back-up.

That's David's specialty

Can't really say. They both received hand to hand combat training as seen in the movies. That's why I mentioned all the other stuff; They are (imo) equal in a fist fight.

Fail harder... I double dog dare you!

 

Ah but that's not fair. Bond always has some clever surprise from Q at his disposal or will make the best of his surroundings to win. He's like Batman. If it was only hand to hand, Bourne would win easily but otherwise Bond make a desperate grab for his shirt pocket, grab a fountain pen and squirt acid into Bourne's face, then kick him into a pool of sharks.

no.

Bourne is Batman without all Bond's gadgets.

Bond is Batman without the aweso-AGGGHHHHH MY ARM!!!!!!!!!!!

Batman is Batman is Batman get it straight

Also, bourne knows where everything within a 3012 mile radius is, therefore he can't be plunked into the sharks because that's not the advantageous battlefield he has chosen.

Also with +1 to extra also on the topic of Bond having all that support...

Bond enters the abandoned warehouse on the Madagascar coast...hears a phone ringing and picks it up... Bourne proceeds to say...

"nice wallpaper here in Q-branch, too bad Q won't be building anything with his new bone configuration"

 

Also+2 in repetition of added facts... Bourne has an epic level luck bonus when falling into liquids. All sharks would instantaneously evolve into invertebrates.

I'm going to move on to the next quote now...

 

but Bond is the best.

You posted this at the same time as acknowledging Chuck Norris? Silly nub

 

Bond would win. It doesn't matter if it's a hand to hand fight or what. Bond would get his can handed to him for the first 90% of the fight, and then suddenly, after wiping his bloody lip, tell Bourne his shoes are untied and then punch him in the face. After that, he'd begin to declare his Boomstick.

With which non-useable arm would he initiate witty comeback by whiping his mouth?

[RedHawke]

Any of the Bonds would mop the floor with Bourne...

 

{Bourne with his Shaky-cam™ comes in the hotel room door and empties his gun at the bed Bond is supposedly sleeping in}

 

Bond: [From in the shadows off-camera] That's a Smith & Wesson... you've had your six!

 

{Bond fires one shot}

 

{Bourne falls over in a heap on the floor... and looks up at Bond and utters one last dying line}

 

Bourne: Matt Damon!

 

{Bourne dies}

 

[Fade to Black, then reveal on a Jamacan beach with bikini-clad girls surrounding Bond and que the island music]

 

Just a piece of loosely connected info the original xXx was not Vin Diesel, but was in fact Barbra Bach.

[Ztalker]

Okay...we seem to be stuck here, so we might have to take a different approach

 

Let's focus on the way these guys work.

 

Bourne: He get's an objective and he goes out for the kill. He's a hitman who can fall back on his talent for improvisation (just recall the scene how he excaped the embassy in The Bourne Identity - He steals an ear-thingy so he can see how the teams are being deployed. Then he steals a map of the wall). Also, in the same movie, he fights one of the assassins of using a ballpoint. This gives him the edge in unexpected situations. But because of his hitman-background, he will rarily see one.

He also had the edge in matters of 'emotional attachements.' We know Bond has a lust for revenge (License to Kill, On het Majesty's Secret Service, Goldeneye etc), whilst Bourne avoids these things. He deliberately sends his girlfriend away in the Identity finaly, while Bond usually keeps his colleagues/bondgirls close.

 

Bond: More of on infiltrator. Get's a new identity in his briefing, with a very expanded background, instead of only passports like Bourne. He also has the edge in his appearance. According to the books and films, he's trained to looks rich. On several occasions, he can 'act' his way out by showing off his Armani watch, or walking like a snob. Bourne doesn't have this, he just IS Bourne all the time. He can't 'become someone else.'

About Bond's infiltration: He get's a list of possible contacts. Like in Tomorrow Never Dies, he reaches Elliot Carver via his wife. And in Casino Royale he get's in contact with Lechiffre via the girl on the horse (forgot her name).

 

Both persons are dependand on skills other then their fists. We will never know who will win in a fistfight, since they will both avoid that situation.

 

So I think we can't leave the gadgets and contacts out of this poll:"

 

I think Bond would win. Bourne would get the objective to kill Bond. Bond would know Bourne's after him because of the huge network MI6 has. Q would then send him gadgets to ensure his safety and make him more efficient. Bourne would go for a long-range kill, but Bond would draw the fight to a for him more convinient place. Bourne would have to go with him and would walk straight into a trap/shark basin/laser thingy/pool of acid/Bond with a drawn P99.

 

Bourne, after walking around the corner and seeing Bond with drawn gun: "Matt Damon!"

*Bond shoots him*

Bond: "I hope you're a budhist. Means you would be bourne again."

 

*Credits roll*

[MacTavish]

Bourne, after walking around the corner and seeing Bond with drawn gun: "Matt Damon!"

*Bond shoots him*

Bond: "I hope you're a budhist. Means you would be bourne again."

 

*Credits roll*

 

*Credits End*

Camera fades in to where Bourne was, only to find a trail of blood leading to an empty parking spot.

[El Sitherino]

Bond defeated the almighty Jaws.

 

Bond would win.

[PoiuyWired]

Well, it depends on WHICH Bond we are dealing with, remember Bond is (usually) armed with his super secret bodyhair superarmor.

[Gargoyle King]

You posted this at the same time as acknowledging Chuck Norris? Silly nub

Well yes, Bond may be able to beate Bourne IMO but Chuck Norris is the one-man army who would take anyone on (Invasion USA all the way!). To answer this yes i do acknowledge Chuck Norris at the same time as frankly Chuck Norris would beat the both them - blindfolded!

[REDJOHNNYMIKE]

@Ztalker, All your other silliness aside, by the time Bond actually finishes his puns, David has plenty of time to be rebourne from the dead to kill him, Bond suffering from oxygen depravation due to the finisher pun and the bondgirl sucking the blood out of his brain through his pants simply has no defense.

 

Jaws sucked (except for good Jaws, he was awesome cuz he got the nerdy girl), Bond just made him look good XP

 

@GK, You still called bond "the best" in the same post as acknowledging the existence of Chuck Norris. sad

[HK-42]

Bourne. He practicly killed someone with a pen in the 1st movie.

 

Sorta off topic:Oh and I read in a newspaper somewhere that Mat Damon has been asked to play a bond guy, not james bond someone else. Don't know if that true but it could be.

[Fredi]

Hard Choose but I would say James Bond would kick his @ss...

[Gargoyle King]

@GK, You still called bond "the best" in the same post as acknowledging the existence of Chuck Norris. sad

Tchhh!!!! If you want me to lay this out more simply for you then than it already is okay then - CHUCK NORRIS IS THE BEST!! Really, read my posts properly before analysing them. I was basically saying that Bond could beat Bourne in a fight, but Chuck Norris is really separate to this discussion as he could beat the both of them, what's so hard in that to understand?

 

READ BELOW:

Neither.

 

Chuck Norris.

I'm a big fan of old Chucky and I thought this was funny so i thought i'd reply, "i second that", yes in the same post as that would be called "double posting" and i didn't want a grilling from the mods, and yet i get one from you. If you're gonna answer on a thread about someone's post, atleast read the thread through so you can understand people's points better! So it's not "sad" as you so put it, it's my opinion and is better by putting it in the same post rather then breach LF rules by "double posting" when i really don't have to. Geez! I really didn't think that my original post was gonna cause a stir with anyone, now that really is the sad thing.

[Cygnus Q'ol]

Bond wins on pure personality alone.

 

...and he gets more boo-tae.

[Negative Sun]

Draw, they're both equally lame and would pansy slap each other silly till the cows come home...watch out: handbags at dawn!

[REDJOHNNYMIKE]

@GK, I honestly didn't care about your opinion and was going to mess with you no matter what you said. But if you have any mention of Chuck Norris in your post, then all else is moot.

[CapNColostomy]

Bond fails for being British.

[Ztalker]

..then Bourne fails for being an American.

 

I'm sure every single European at these forums would vote Bond every day over Bourne.

[CapNColostomy]

^ You catch on fast.