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The Chuck Norris Thread


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Alright, the Chuck Norris thread is not a new idea, but that doesn't mean that it's a bad one. So instead of this turning into a gigantic copy/paste thread, let's go by a guideline or two.

 

1) Only one or two Chuck Norris "facts" per post. No copy and pasting a huge list that you've had for oh so long.

 

2) And in answer to the next question: No you may not type your huge list, just to get around the copy/paste rule. :p

 

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

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Come on people, Chuck Norris jokes are so last year :rolleyes:

 

:p

 

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

 

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

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-Chuck Norris doesn't check his closet for the Boogie Man. The Boogie Man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

-A gun sleeps with Chuck Norris under it's pillow.

 

-Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

 

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and made Amelia Earhart disappear while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

 

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

 

-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

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I'm just gonna say this: Ron Paul may have all of the internets, but Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris, so that's why he's winning.

 

Oh, and my favorite:

 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

 

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

 

 

These are my favorite ones!!!

The first time I saw the Chuck Norris phrases I remember I couldn't catch my breath cuz I was laughing so hard!!!

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Well, see, Chuck Norris was dead in the movie. In real life, Chuck Norris is not really dead, and Bruce Lee is -- well... you know.

 

In fact, in real life, Chuck Norris is actually immortal. Throughout the eons he has traveled the universe. A little known fact about Chuck Norris is that he was actually Luke Skywalker.

 

lukenorrisan7.jpg

 

No really, it's true.

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