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Vicodin Rainbows and Wisdom Teeth Dreams


Boba Rhett

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Greetings all! I just had all four of my wisdom teeth cut out yesterday and it's been a rough ride. One of them in particular just would not stop bleeding last night. I easily lost several cup fulls out of my mouth just from it alone. Who knows how much I actually ended up swallowing. When I finally got the bleeding to slow, I laid down to try and take a little nap to ride out the pain (2 vicodin didn't seem to touch it). I woke up about a half hour later needing to go to the bathroom, so I got up and strolled into the bathroom, took aim, and started taking care of business. This is the dialogue I had with myself midstream:

 

"Hmmm, everything's fuzzy.... why can't I see anything but the toilet?... The room sure is moving a lot more than normal... I think I'm going to pass out. Oh well, better try finishing up before I do, I don't want to pee on myse-"

 

That's when I smacked my face, full force, right on the now urine covered toilet bowl. My wife then grabbed me and pulled me out of the bathroom as I yelled, "Where am I?! Where am I?!", genuinely not knowing where I was or why I now had a wet face and damp pajama bottoms on. The attempted self inflicted swirlee called for another cup of blood, two more vicodin and a stout face washing. Now I not only have chipmunk cheeks but I also look like I got hit square in the face by an angry and powerful plumber.

 

Anyone else have a rough time with getting their wisdom teeth out? Or at least perhaps a slightly amusing story about being in pain and highly drugged that would make my own story a little less embarrassing? :rhett:

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Haha, great story. At least once the pain has passed, you will have a funny story.

 

I don't have anything quite so embarrassing/epic, but I sure had fun for the first few days after the doctor stole part of my ass. I was in dream land for a week and some of the Skype Posse can tell you, I was... altered.

 

Right after the surgery as they were wheeling me to recovery, still in the bed, we passed through the waiting room. I was waving at the people sitting around and... waiting, and said something like "Hey people! They took part of my butt!"

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Let's see.

 

I've probably told this one before: One time I was in metal shop and I was making a potato launcher. So being inexperienced as I was with an arc welder (short stick, not mig, tig, plasma, or wire), I had a buddy of mine do the weld and I assisted.

 

Normally this stuff is brittle, bend it back and forth when caught and it breaks right off. When warm to hot, obviously it gets malleable and you need to shut it off and chop it free with the chisel hammer tool.

So after 2 passes around the pipe joined to the base, working on a 3rd, it got stuck halfway around. We begin pulling at it to break the stick off. It's not happening. So I yank harder.

The piece doesn't break free gripped in my right hand, but my other arm does happen to contact the ground pole at the elbow.

Next thing I know I'm pulling myself up out of the wall behind me not aware of anything. My surroundings, why this helmet thing is on my head making it heavy, why I can't see out of it, why I'm beginning to hurt all over, why my head is throbbing on the back and my spine feels jarred, why I feel like someone pulled a drive-by baseball bat to my torso from inside a pickup truck and knocked me over.

As I take a big breath I realize I got zapped and thrown back. The insides of my arms and my chest feel like a combination of white hot fire, pins, needles, and razor blades.

The shop teacher comes up to me as I'm being sat down and asks: "SO. How's it feel to be a dumbass?"

 

Might as well have been Red Foreman.

 

I have more if you wanna hear.

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That actually makes me feel better. Please continue. :D

 

For 5 years after that my sense of heat was thrown off and I seemed to attract more static too.

 

Another time my AC corded drill with trigger locked caught a small lock of my hair at its full 3,000 RPM and affixed itself to me. I'm just fortunate the drill bit didn't take out an eye or my throat...or mess my face up or something like that--though I think some scars might be an improvement as I'm really plain looking anyhow. I was able to turn it off before it tore off part of my scalp.

 

Ah yes. The fun afterwards trimming that friction burned end of the hair, the brushing out the rest of the hair to pull all the loose hairs out of my mop and looking at the big hairball wad afterwards. Dizzy and gun-shy from drills for a little awhile afterwards.

 

Seems like ahtonauts are cowards to share anything. C'mon people, Rhett needs your lovin'!

 

Got plenty more stories. :D

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Heh, this reminds me of a few mornings ago.....

 

I had just gotten up and was about to take a shower (also pretty dang tired, so nothing made any sense) and I promptly tripped while getting in, which led to me bumping my head into the wall. Then, to add insult to injury, when I brought my head up, I bopped the shower head out of alignment and strained something in my neck.

 

Let's just say I still felt out of it after the shower.....:D

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That actually makes me feel better. Please continue. :D

I got your pain trumped...

 

20+ kidney stones all passing in around a 72 hour period. Sleeping was not an option... moving was not an option. There was only pain. I rested only by passing out.

 

Now it lasted about 12 or so hours and a half dozen stones more but I finally got in to my doctor and she introduced me to some wonderful stuff called oxycontin. :D

 

I used to drink only soda as a teen, Mountain Dew in particular was my main poison, so let this be a lesson to you all. Drink water instead. ;)

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I got your pain trumped...

 

20+ kidney stones all passing in around a 72 hour period. Sleeping was not an option... moving was not an option. There was only pain. I rested only by passing out.

RedHawke wins, I had one and I'd rather be shot than have another. Yes, I have been shot with a .22 in the arm.

 

Had all four of my wisdom teeth cut out in my 20's. Don't remember it hurting all that much. I did ruin a phone from all the blood I spit out. Only pain I remember feeling was from my girlfriend at the time when she found out I ruined the phone talking to an ex in drug induced stupor.

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Labor for 36 hours followed by c-section anyway, and knee replacement surgery. Sorry RedHawke, I'd rather have kidney stones for 72 hours than go through either of those again.

 

After 2 weeks of non-stop pain after the knee replacement surgery, I thought I didn't need a the knee replacement, I needed a freaking psych consult. Now that it's been 3 months post surgery, my knee finally feels better than it did before the surgery, and the pain relief is wonderful.

 

The evening they wheeled me up to my 11th floor room in Milwaukee after the knee replacement, we had a tremendous storm roll through. Tornado warnings popped up for Milwaukee on the TV, and I remember looking out the window and remarking to my husband, "Oh, cool, I see some funnel clouds!!" Point Man was not nearly as impressed as I was, considering he had to drive home later that evening, and the storm was now dumping 11 inches of rain (in about 2 hours) on the city. A nursing assistant came in and closed the blinds, explaining it was protocol in a tornado warning to do that. I was quite disappointed that he was ruining my view of the very cool funnel clouds. I told him "I don't think closing the blinds will keep the tornado or any flying glass out." He remarked, "You're right, and most people wouldn't be astute enough to realize that." He continued closing the blinds anyway.

 

I was about to ask Point Man to open the blinds back up after the nursing assistant left when the Good Drugs made me fall asleep again, so I missed the rest of the storm anyway.

 

Speaking of RedHawke's kidney stones, I have to share a story related to me by a friend who had to be hospitalized for kidney stones. Let's call him "John".

 

John had been in agony for a couple days with kidney stones, and had quite a large one. They finally put him in the hospital and put a urinary catheter in. He had 2 nurses, one who was really cute, a younger redhead who was, as we shall say, well-endowed, and another, older female nurse who he described as "Incredibly nice, but who looked like Brunhilde the witch."

 

One evening, when the pain meds had finally kicked in and he was starting to feel better, the redhead came in to take care of him. She had on a uniform that was a bit too loose on top, and when she bent over, he got a fantastic view of her 'endowments'.

 

John, being a man who has a Great Appreciation for any endowments, particularly redheads with endowments, started to have a uniquely male reaction.

 

With a catheter in.

 

This caused him a great deal of pain, and as he cried out and grimaced, the redheaded nurse became alarmed, and asked him, "John! What's wrong?"

 

John replied, "Go get the other nurse! The ugly one!"

 

Redhead ran out, Brunhilde ran in. She also asked "John, what's wrong?"

 

John could only choke out, "Redhead." He cupped both hands at his chest. "Big bazoombas!!" He pointed towards his groin. "Catheter!"

 

Brunhilde, being a woman of many years of nursing experience, immediately understood, patted his arm, and went and got him an ice pack.

 

Apparently Brunhilde had told Redhead about the incident (probably with a great deal of laughter). John finally passed the giant stone the next afternoon, and by the time Redhead came on shift that evening, the catheter was out. She stood in his doorway and asked how he was doing. He said, "Oh, I'm doing a lot better, it's safe for you to come in now." She waved her hand, and said, "No, no, that's OK, I'll get the other nurse." Brunhilde took care of him the rest of that night, too.

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I don't have anything quite so embarrassing/epic, but I sure had fun for the first few days after the doctor stole part of my ass. I was in dream land for a week and some of the Skype Posse can tell you, I was... altered.

 

Oh yes, you were definitely having an altered time. I remember your dad helping you with something and you said in a really spaced out voice, "My dad is awesome. I LOVE YOU, DAD!!!!!"

 

Right after the surgery as they were wheeling me to recovery, still in the bed, we passed through the waiting room. I was waving at the people sitting around and... waiting, and said something like "Hey people! They took part of my butt!"

 

That's awesome. :rofl:

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Lol @ Jae's story.

 

The best I have is not being able to walk properly, and without pain for three weeks following what will remain an undisclosed complaint.

 

I was unconscious for eight hours after the procedure, though, and wasn't allowed to move for 24 hours so I doubt I got up to any mischief.

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