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XWA One Year Thread Part VII: Shadows of the Forum


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Fortunately, I have been so ultra-super-mega-swamped with work these last 2 days to even dwell on it. I didn't get a whole lot in the way of sleep last night, however. No weird dreams for me. The only ones I can remember were fleeting and unpleasant.

 

I guess I kinda understand her reasons... I just don't really want to accept them.

 

She's had some bad news about her health... and she's been told she doesn't have much time left. Months... a year if she's lucky. She's been fighting it hard for months now... and losing. It's been rough going through that.

 

She tells me that she doesn't want to put me in the situation of going through that... Plus, I also believe she wants to establish her kids with the folks who are going to raise them after she's gone... in a place where it's unlikely her ex or his family will be able to get hold of them.

 

It's all pretty heavy. Nothing I ever thought I'd seriously ever have to think about when we started dating... not quite 2 years ago. Oct 11 is he 2-year anniversary of our first date. Not the kind of thing anybody ever thinks they are going to have to face just going out with somebody.

 

My gut told me when she was leaving it was going to be for good. I was just really hoping I was wrong. Or for a unexpected miracle with her health.

 

I'm just really having the hardest time getting my mind around the fact that I will probably never see her again.

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Yeah. But she has told me that they have pretty much run out of options. All her major functions are failing. Even before she left, her doctors were telling her to get all her affairs in order. She went to see several specialists where she is... and the news wasn't good.

 

I was willing to stay by her side until the end. As difficult as it would have been. I understand she feels that she's doing me a mercy by sparing me that.

 

But if she stayed here, there's no guarantee there wouldn't be a fight over the future of her kids. She was determined not to let her ex's family raise them... and nobody in her family seemed interested or capable.

 

I know she doesn't hate me... or feels indifferently towards me. But in some ways, that probably makes it more difficult.

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She never liked me talking about her situation with anyone.

 

She has MRSA... a systemic staph infection that resists all antibiotics. She's probably had it for years without being diagnosed... and by the time they discovered what it was, it was attacking all her major systems.

 

She was diagnosed after we had been together a year or so.

 

Now with all the infections I've been dealing with in the last couple of weeks, I'm more than a bit worried it may have transferred to me. Spreading through close contact isn't unheard of. I'm getting tested for it later this week.

 

If you catch it early enough and treat it aggressively, you can keep it under control.

 

Unfortunately for her, it went undiagnosed for years, and she already had a host of other problems from years of dealing with abusive exes, so by the time they realized what it was, her system wasn't strong enough to fight it off. Plus she was already on meds for other conditions, so the interactions between everything took a toll too.

 

Of course, I'm still hoping for a miracle in her case... that a doctor down there will come across some new treatment that really works for her. I hope she's still continuing to fight.

 

I'd be happy knowing she was somewhere living healthy and happily with her kids... even if it wasn't with me.

Edited by edlib
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Yeah... me too.

 

I'm hoping it is just an unrelated set of symptoms... but I've been getting progressively freaked out the more I think about it all.

 

It's better to know and have peace of mind, or to go on the offensive before it gets too far.

 

I felt fine until a couple of weeks ago. I'm hoping what I have was just brought on by the stress of our impending separation and the process of helping her move and pack.

 

But the recurring nature of the sinus thing I've been fighting since then has really got me worried. The antibiotics really seemed to help, though... so that's a good sign.

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Of course, I did have a full physical/ blood workup done not all that long ago, in April or May, I think... and they didn't report anything then to give me concern. I don't know if they scan for something like that in the lab work, though. I would think they would... but I have no idea.

 

On the other hand, these issues that I'm worried about are all more recent than that... so maybe I was clean then but not any more.

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I'm thinking about you too, Ed.

 

As for me, I met one of the legends of my sport last night: PBA and USBC Hall of Famer Parker Bohn III (often shortened to PB3 online) :D

 

richie-with-parker-bohn-iii.jpg

 

Really nice guy...it's no surprise that he's won the PBA's Steve Nagy Sportsmanship Award multiple times. :)

 

I'm wearing my board polo in this shot...good thing I wasn't wearing my Storm jersey, b/c Parker was at Westgate Lanes for a Brunswick demo day.

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Thanks. :)

 

The biggest struggle for me now is seeing all of her stuff. That's incredibly tough, as it all gives me memories. But I have to figure out what to do with it all. Her dad might come get some of it... and I'm sorting out the stuff I think should go to her mom... But all the stuff I bought or the stuff we got together has a lot of sentimental value, and I'm not sure I could see that stuff go to someone else. Especially if they were just to give it away, throw it away, or sell it off. Or just dump it in some dusty corner for storage forever...

 

Of course, if things ever change for her and she decides (or is forced for some reason...) to come back, I do want her to have access to her belongings.

 

At least all my memories are of all the good times right now and not the rough bits.

 

It's seems like we were together a lot longer than we were. Just shy of the 2-year mark. I guess the experience was just that intense.

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Installed the Kinect I bought my GF and her kids for XMas last year to my XBox. I couldn't see it go to waste. There are a couple of Kinect games in her collection too... though probably nothing I'll ever play much if at all.

 

I'll probably hook up the Wii and her XBox to my upstairs TV at some point soon for the same reason.

 

Sad thing is: I really don't want her stuff. I just want her back.

 

But sitting here doing nothing isn't doing me any good either... so I've been trying to keep busy. Sorting through stuff I can't see going to waste at least feels productive.

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I gots mah papers!

 

now to only have some cash to go to the DMV to change back my license to a 'normal' one (one with out the 'condition') I have have that PEST of a device removed from my car

 

 

... and I can drive other cars other than my own again

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I have no idea where she is. I only had a very vague idea where she was when she first went down there, all I really knew was that it was about a 5 or 6 hour drive south of Mexico City... and her last message to me told me she wasn't even there anymore, but didn't say where she was now. Just in a different state than the one she was in. It's a big country to just go wandering around in looking for someone when they could be almost anywhere and you don't know where to look or speak the language.

 

If I had daily communication with her, I might be able to gather the new location, then I could spend a month getting a passport made, save the money for the tickets and rental cars, and try desperately to refresh my year of middle school Spanish to hope to survive down there until I managed to find her. If I could get the time off from work, that is... which at the moment I can't.

 

But I haven't heard back anything since my "Dear John... I mean Ed..." email last week, even though I've sent 4 or 5 responses. Her mom wrote me a couple of days ago asking if I had any news from her... she hadn't heard anything herself in almost a month. I was as truthful but as vague as I could get away with in the hope she gives her mom an update with the full truth of what's going on sometime soon.

 

Going and seeing her is the romantic movie thing to do... but I have no idea with the info I currently have where to even start. :(

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I don't think going to see her would accomplish anything good anyway. There's a time for that kind of thing, but there's also a time to express your support and then let people deal with difficult things in their own way. You'd probably only drive her further away and make things more difficult for her if you tried to track her down.

 

Kinda lame that she sent you this through an e-mail, though.

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She said her phone hasn't worked since she got there. Can't call, can't text. Or if it works, it's crazy expensive on roaming charges. Only email works when she gets her computer or phone near public WIFI.

 

But yes... I really would have much preferred a call, a SKYPE, or and handwritten letter.

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I worked outside all day yesterday. Cold. Damp. Drizzly.

 

It was less fun than it sounds.

 

Made a lot of extra money doing it though. Which will help: I just got the bill for my car. Ouch. $2,600.

 

It's driving a lot better, though... so I guess it was worth it.

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Even with the trip to cranberry fest (bought 15 pounds of cranberries, 1 pound of dried craberries, and three bottles of wine) and a trip to the leinenkugel brewery. we got home in time and cooked a meal for my wife's cousin and girlfriend who were traveling across the country.

 

They are both from Germany. I made a special trip friday to my local microbrewery for two growlers of limited edition brews. Liderhosen Oktoberfest lager, and a Imperial Pilsner aged in Pinot Noir wine barrels. :cheers:

 

Who would have guessed two people from Germany didn't drink. :headbump

 

My grilled Teriyaki marinated Flank steak, grilled asparagus, and Baked acorn squash was well enjoyed by all.:drool1:

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