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Star wars knights of the old republic: chapter 2 rescue over naboo


Is my second story good ????  

3 members have voted

  1. 1. Is my second story good ????

    • Nice story
      0
    • good story keep it up!!!!!
      0
    • bad story need more thinking when posting
      0
    • well needs more details!
      2
    • great story it's very good
      1


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Star wars

Knights of the old Republic

chapter 2

Rescue over Naboo

 

In a darkest haur the planet Naboo was attacked

by the ruttles sith Lord Vitiate the great queen of Naboo

contacked the Republic for help but the Republic dispatched two

jedi knights Master Bindo and the great jedi knight Bastila to negociate

peace with the sith emperor by leting go Naboo but the nagociations

very short the jedi arrived at the sith blocade then a protocol droid

ascorted the two jedi to the waiting room the ruttles sith emeperor

did't sensed that the nagociators were jedi so the emperor ordered

his sith troopers and the dark jedi aprentices to elimanate the two jedi

Bastila has sensed a disturbens in the force Jolee too then jedi went to

find out what's happening here so then the sith troopers cornered the jedi

but they quickly killed all troopers then Jolee realaised that the nagociations

were very short after killing all guards to jedi quickly maided to the hangar

but they were lored in to a trap there were tree dark jedi masters waiting for

them but then Jolee disaited to hold those sith until Bastila gets in to the shuttle Jolee runed in to the ship after they took of the Emperor

ordered to fire on the ship the jedi almost went in to the hyperspace but they

vere fired upon the almost nearly vere nearly destroyed but they chrased on Naboo. Mean wyle the

great jedi knight exile went to the Dantooine system to find a holocron abaut

Revan when he was a jedi the holocron was rumored to be found in the ruins

of the jedi enclave he arrived on the planet and went to find first administrator

Adary for clearens to enter the jedi enclave but when he arrived fauned that

khoonda bulding was attacked by some Bounty hunters but exile knowed

that the baunty hunter Azgul he killed him so the Exile went to find out first what happend when he tooked of mean wyle on the planet Naboo the two jedi

crased safely on the planet Jolee tryed to contack the republic but no such luck bastila told him that we must find the queen now but Jolee got a transmission from carth he asked how things are going with the mission but jolee sed to him that the Republic must sent a fleet to

rescue Naboo. Bindo sed that the nagociations were short and the emperor ordered his troops to eliminate him and bastila. Carth agreed by sending help and sed to Jolee that he must find the queen first before the republic arrives to aid him...........

to bee continued.

 

this is now my second story l hope everyone will like it.

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Aš nežinau, kaip gerai, ar vertimas yra čia, aš naudoju vertėjas, pridedamas prie tinklalapį, pavadintą partija, kuri turi funkciją kaip jo dalis siūlomų įrankių juostoje.

 

Aš einu, kad galėtumėte tai tiesiogiai į mano kitą peržiūrą vietoje, todėl jūs bent jau galimybę suprasti savo kritiką, aš nematau reali problema su savo darbo už tai, kad jūs, atrodo, kad kai kurie, bet ne suvokti daug anglų kalba. Aš siūlyčiau, kad jūs paprašykite kitų rašytojų beta skaitytojas siūlų, sklandžiai. Tai nėra kritika savo kalbos įgūdžius, be šios programos aš net ne bandyti rašyti sakinį Lett.

 

Aš norėčiau pasiūlyti padaryti tai už jus, tačiau jei aš beta skaityti ir ją ištaisyti, aš nesu pasiruošęs jį peržiūrėti vėliau

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Aš nežinau, kaip gerai, ar vertimas yra čia, aš naudoju vertėjas, pridedamas prie tinklalapį, pavadintą partija, kuri turi funkciją kaip jo dalis siūlomų įrankių juostoje.

 

Aš einu, kad galėtumėte tai tiesiogiai į mano kitą peržiūrą vietoje, todėl jūs bent jau galimybę suprasti savo kritiką, aš nematau reali problema su savo darbo už tai, kad jūs, atrodo, kad kai kurie, bet ne suvokti daug anglų kalba. Aš siūlyčiau, kad jūs paprašykite kitų rašytojų beta skaitytojas siūlų, sklandžiai. Tai nėra kritika savo kalbos įgūdžius, be šios programos aš net ne bandyti rašyti sakinį Lett.

 

Aš norėčiau pasiūlyti padaryti tai už jus, tačiau jei aš beta skaityti ir ją ištaisyti, aš nesu pasiruošęs jį peržiūrėti vėliau

 

Well sometimes l get nervous by writing a story :)

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Understood As i commented years ago, I wrote what I still think was the worst story in the world when I was eleven. However to help you improve, I would have to start with using a spell checker, go on from there

 

 

Hey thank's machievelli and when l began wroting a second story abaut the knights of the old republic l will try to be more improved:thmbup1::thmbup1:

and again thank's

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