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Best LEC quotes, anyone?


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Hey whats your favourite LEC (this is beside the point, if you're in a hurry skip the parentheses. I looked on the LEC site for info. regarding Legal use of thier logo, and it says you HAVE to write either LEC, LucasArts, or LucasArts Entertainment Company. Thats LucasArts as in not lucasarts, lucas arts, Lucas Arts, etc etc. Also, LEC as in not LC. Thats if you write it on your site, by the way. They can't arrest you for saying 'I love Lucas arts' on this forum, or anything like that) game quote? I have a few.


- Monkey Island 1, Herman Toothrot. (Best part of quote is in bold)


Guybrush: Hey! How did you get here without a head?

Herman: 'I have a head'


- Day of the Tentacle, Dr. Fred


Laverne: 'Whats a tentacle?'

Dr. Fred: 'Oh, just something I whipped up in my spare time. Made good pets, actually - until one of them tried to take over the world. Had to tie the little buggers up in the basement.'


- Day of the Tentacle, Purple


Bernard: 'Ok, you're free to go.'

Green: 'Hey thanks Bernard.'

Purple: 'Yes, thank you naive human.'


- Sam n Max, whole quote


Max: 'Do you think anyone was on that bus?'

Sam: 'No-one we love or care about.'


- Monkey Island 3, LeChuck


LeChuck: 'Guybrush Threepwood, by my gangrenous gut, I don't know how you escaped my Carnival of the Damned, but you won't escape a taste of my blade!'

(The sword is shot from his hand by Elaine)

LeChuck: 'Dargh!'


Ok, what are yours?

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The things you can say to Elaine in MI2 are pretty damn funny to me. Some of the highlights:


"You're the governor of my heart, baby."

"Still ignoring fashion, eh? Good for you."

"Great to see you again. Is there any food in this dump?"

"So tell me... You and the gardener, eh?"

"Do you have my red sweater? I can't find it anywhere."

"I'm not sure, but don't you owe me some money?"

"How's your sister? The REALLY good-looking one?"

"I should warn you -- I cancelled the boat insurance."

"I came all this way to see you -- at least get me a beer."

"Those other women meant nothing to me."

"Have you been forwarding all my mail?"

"So, who's the father?"

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Oh gawd, there are too many... Just a few from the top of my head.


Sam & Max Hit the Road

Sam: That was a pleasantly understated credit sequence.

Max: I enjoyed the cheesy retro ambience.

Sam: What the hell are you talking about, Max?

Max: Sam, either termites are burrowing through my skull or one of us is ticking.


Grim Fandango

Waiter at Blue Casket: She takes from the rich and gives to me to pour.


Manuel: Glottis... Glottis... is that a German name?

Glottis: Oh, no! My roots lie not in any Earthly nation's soil. I am an elemental spirit summoned up from the Land of the Dead itself and given one purpose, one skill, one desire... TO DRIVE! Or, to change oil or adjust timing belts if no driving jobs are open.

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Sam: You must really love fish.

'Woody': Actually, I'm alergic to fish.

Sam: Then why do you work here?

'Woody': Because I'm even more allergic to poverty.

Sam: I really loved all your movies. Especially the early, funny ones.

'Woody': What are you talking about?


Bowlsley: Everybody lies, even the bell! Ding, ding! Can I help you?! Can I help you!? Can I frigging help you ding ding ding!!


Guybrush: This island doesn't look like a skull at all. It looks like a great big enormous duck! It should be called Duck Island.

Welshman: Well, you have to sort of squint and turn your head and, oooh, it's just so scary!

Guybrush: If you squint and turn your head it looks like a bunny.


Manny: So what is that stuff they pack canned hams in, anyway?


Max: I'm ripe with anticipation.

Sam: I thought I smelled something.

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Sam: That's no head Max, that's one damned ugly timebomb. Let's leave this criminal cesspool pronto.

Max: Sam, is pronto... a real word?


Guybrush: What books do you have?

Librarian: What? You want me to name all of them for you?


Guybrush: You guys got any more marshmellows?

Scabb Pirates: Marshmellows?

Dank(?): That's his cotton for under his eyepatch.

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Sam n Max

re. themselves: 'Another confused census taker?'


and this ones from flash gordon, but i love it:


Barin: I've changed Aura.

Aura: I've changed too.

Barin: I love you, will you marry me?

Zarkov: (cracks the door lock) Ah! I knew it was one of the prime numbers of the zeta series! I haven't changed!

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guybrush: "that's the second biggest conch shell I've ever seen! ...no...wait...that IS the biggest conch shell I've ever seen!!"


max: "facilities be damned, I need a bathroom!"


sam: "lord, i'm tired of this drivel."


sam: "wanna do some coloring, lil buddy?"

max: "u know sam, we lagamorphs are color blind."

sam: "that's funny. so are we."


meh, that's all i can think of off the top of my head...ok, so it's not verbatim, but forgive me, i haven't played S&M in years. i should.... hehe.



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Manny: Any messages for me?

Eva: No, calls stopped coming for you the day you left. They're still sending you that lingerie catalog, though.


Carla: Aw rats, Manny, I almost got to strip-search ya!


Guybrush:I could really use a breath mint.

Storekeeper: You're telling me!


Guybrush: So, tell me about LOOM.

LOOM salesman: You mean the latest masterpiece of fantasy storytelling from Lucasfilm's™ Brian Moriarty™? Why it's an extraordinary adventure with an interface of magic, stunning, high-resolution, 3D landscapes, sophisticated score and musical effects. Not to mention the detailed animation and special effects, elegant point 'n' click control of characters, objects and magic spells. Beat the rush! Go out and buy Loom™ today.


Largo: Ha ha ha! Scream all you want. There are no police on Scabb Island.

Guybrush: Then who eats all the doughnuts and roughs-up the transients?

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I forget who says it, but in S&M someone refers to Sam as a bear and he shouts, "BEAR?!?" That cracks me up every time. Anyone remember the details?


Some others I like:


Almost everything those two say is funny. God, I wish they'd do a true adventure sequel.


Max: I've got more hair on my furry little butt than you do on that hollow country head of yours!


Sam (brandishing a ticking time-bomb head): Where should I put this, Max, so it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?

Max: Out the window, Sam. There's nothin but strangers out there.


Sam: I see old Mr. Bosco is generously giving away his profits to the underpriveledged, ski-mask-wearing youth of the neighborhood again.


Max: I think that punk learned a valuable lesson, Sam.

Sam: I agree, Max. I didn't realize the lower-lip could stretch completely over the head. Amazing.



Welshman: Sure, mist (MYST) is pretty... but egad is it dull!


Lemonhead: Shut up. Or I'll eat you.



Laverne: Ooh, a hampster. Just what I need for dissection lab tomorrow.

Hoagie: I think I need that for the band, Laverne. You know, we could, like, bite it's head off or whatever.




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Thats the one! I also like it in DOTT when Bernard puts the ink on Wierd Ed's stamp book. When he gives it back he says:

"Sometimes I do stupid things and I don't know why. Its as if I'm being controlled by some sort of sadistic puppet-master."

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haha yeah that's an amazing one LucasTones :)



it's really hard, i laugh so hard about those jokes in the games, but i can never recall any by myself :) while i read the previous mentioned i do of course remember them all and also remember how much they cracked me up :)

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