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A Rant on OS's


TimK

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My ire is risen.

 

I was there when the world began. I make no pretentions. I witnessed DOS 2.0, and 4.01, and Windows 3.0, and 3.11, and Windows 95. I grokked the MacOS upon the birth of System 7. I saw the hatchling Linux storm the gates of BSD, and overtake them. And now he besieges the gates of Redmond. And the establishment trembles, because its walls threaten to fall at the feet of a superior force.

 

They cannot see because their hearts are hard, and their eyes are blind. Even after their city has been laid waste, they will continue to believe nothing has changed.

 

 

He who has ears to hear, let him hear:

 

1. When you run into a problem on a Linux box, you'd better know Linux. When you run into a problem on a Windows box, you'd better start praying.

 

2. There are many security issues discovered and patched in Linux and its apps. The ones in Windows go unattended.

 

3. "Why does my computer keep crashing?" Windows: Try reinstalling the operating system. Linux: It most assuredly is a hardware problem.

 

4. The prophet has four Linux boxes on which he does all his work. There are two desktop machines, one server and one masquerading firewall. All run free software. Year after year, they do whatever is asked of them, whenever they are asked, and they never crash.

 

5. When friends ask him to help them fix their Windows boxes, he politely as possible suggests they seek elsewhere. What man would rather spend time wrestling with the computer when he could be doing useful work?

 

 

There was a sojourner, a stranger in our land, who knew only peace and prosperity. He came to me seeking wisdom.

 

"Last week," he said, "my brother wanted me to burn some of his music onto a CD using my CD burner. It was an emergency. But I was 30 miles away.

 

"I instructed him to insert his Zip disc with his music into the Zip drive and to insert a blank CD-R into the CD burner. I then logged into the machine via the Internet and proceeded to accomplish what he wanted."

 

"My brother said, 'This is so cool!'

 

"O most wise prophet, why is it so cool?"

 

I answered him, "Because, your brother is only aquainted with Windows and the meager applications and telecommunications options available therefor. Your feat was so far beyond him, it must have seemed to him to be magic. He has no way even to understand such computing power."

 

The sojourner replied, "But I do it every day."

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Well, the operating system that I use is Windows 2000, for recreational and work purposes, and I have experienced no crashes, amazingly (Although I did with 98 on my previous box). I know my way around windows, I can easily use DOS too, but I know very little about coding. I have also had some experience with Linux, but not much, and although I don't understand how the operating system actually works, and I only delved into using actually command lines a few times, I must say that I prefer Windows, if only for the ease of use - KDE & GNOME seem a little tacky. Then again, I've had a lot more experience with Windows, so I'm bound to find it easier.

 

Anyhow, I do agree with your list to some extent, but, as with most linux monkeys, everything has been spun until it's dizzier than a stereotypical blonde, and the facts have been melted into little puddles of fiction that want to be facts when they grow up.

 

So, naturally, I have decided to nitpick, and from now on, I'll take a completely pro-Windows approach to this discussion, which for a start gives me a serious handicap. Please take that into account.

 

Time to address some points and hopefully irritate in the process:

1. Lies. Most problems with Windows can be fixed. Not all, but most. I'm not sure about Linux, but there must be problems there too - why else would they release patches?

 

2. I have downloaded security updates for Windows 2000 (And boy, did it need them), which completely contradicts this point.

 

3. That's a generalisation. Of course there's going to be more problems with Windows, it's the first operating system that (most) people use. Besides, Windows can have hardware issues too.

 

4. The prophet lives in the desert and has four camels. There are two water carrying camels, one food carrier, and one one which he rides. All run slowly, in fact, they walk. Year after year, they do what is asked of them, whenever they are asked, and they never crash. Except when they die.

 

The real answer being that Linux and Windows users differ, one is generally a computer nut, the other, a computer user.

 

5. You could say the same about a Linux box. So there.

 

As for your last tale, well, that's not possible without windows. Because Al Gore invented the Internet. And he's best mates with Bill Clinton. So if Bill wanted, he could ask Al to make Linux users stop using the internet. This makes sense, because the internet is actually hosted in the White House, on a Windows machine. And that hasn't crashed yet. Except for mojo, that's crashed. Because George Bush accidentally pressed the wrong button when he wanted to watch Friends. And DAL net too. He was just curious that time.

 

To finish, I hope that some kind soul makes Linux as user friendly and as popular as Windows someday, and the whole corporation fall to Pieces, and then Pieces smashes them up.

 

Amen.

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Uh. It's humor. (Hence the out-of-character style and quick turn-abouts.) The piece has been received warmly by other crowds.

 

Confucius say: Man who take computer too seriously need nut-cracker for noggin.

 

Scabb, unless your acerbic reply was also humor. Most people, if they wrote something that grating, I'd assume they were trying to be funny by jumping out of character. But even in character, every word rubs against the face like sandpaper, back and forth, back and forth, forever moving and going nowhere, neither resting nor concluding, stomping forward, pedalling back. Who can tell what is wit or folly?

 

-TimK

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