Mandalorian54 Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 It was a dark knight on the planet Mamovas. A planet that had not been around long engh to see the form of the republic. At this time the galaxy was in a vicious state of war. Several planet's controlled sections of the galaxy and longed for dominion of the entire galaxy solely for themselves. On the planet Mamovas the inhabiting race of Zargons lived. It was their base of opperations and their home world. From there they had conqured surrounding solarsystems and sought to concer the entire galaxy. Thier leader Mazddoss, was a cruel creature. He enslaved the weeker race of the world, the Kimpo. The Kimpo had advanced technology but they had no weapons. thier force shields had been broken through a hundread years ago and the Zargons forced the Kimpo to make advanced weapons for Mazddoss' use. With this Tecknology he could conqure any race in the galaxy. And the other races waring against each other just made it that much easyer. His fathers deviouse plan of setting the other races at war with one another was the key to success and when Mazddoss' fathers death Mazddoss himself carried on the leagacy. Mazddoss also had the help of the sith, a race of talented warriors. But their arch nemessis the jedi were proving a problem. Even now they were taking mesures of ending the war amongst them selves and joining together. Mazddoss could not let this happen, he sent the sith to disrupt the council meeting going on at this very moment. From his throne Mazddoss pondered the situation. His plot shuffled in his head as he sceemed for complete controll. His armies were positioned about the galaxy, ready to strike and destroy evrything in their paths at his comand. He loved power and Mazddoss was very well pleased at the moment. At the moment... ----------------- by Darth Yoda Little did he know that there would be one force to stop him. Or at least one that had the knowledge to do so. This warrior's name was Darth Cartman. Now this was no one man army...he had with him his companions Darth Stan, Darth Kyle, and Darth Kenny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted February 11, 2003 Share Posted February 11, 2003 nice start. i like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalorian54 Posted March 4, 2003 Author Share Posted March 4, 2003 This story really hasn't gone anywhere and I've been to buissy so I guess it's kinda ded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jokemaster Posted March 6, 2003 Share Posted March 6, 2003 lemme try something before you give up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KOTOR*KAMA Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 man this game stuff is hard but yeah this i weird fill me ij more:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 Craig sat in the council room among the other Jedi, listening to the discussion of the ending of the war amongst themselves. He tapped his foot impatiently, hoping the negotiations would be quick, simple, and smooth. He had just finished the Trials and became a Knight a few months ago, and he was sitting at the meeting discussing the issues with other Jedi Knights and Masters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jokemaster Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 Clark sneaked into the meeting and saw a disitrested jedi knight sitting and decides he would be the best victim, Clark bumps into him (hoping to steal his lightsaber) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 a man in a black leather jacket was running as fast as he could down the destroyed city of zou everywhere citizens of the once green and butiful planet were eather dead, dieing, or running for any type of shelter from the onslaught of the Zargons. ian redhammer stood with rage running through him as he saw these evil things trying to kill these innocent people. a zargon ship came at him fireing its lazers, ian ran at the ship and jumped at it. he used the power he had called "the force" to make his fist go straight through the ship. he droped to the ground as the ship exploded. he ran through the streets and found some solders about to kill a child, he again used his power to pick up the girl before the blaster bolts killed the girl. he put her down and ran at the solders with rage running through him like a river. he jumped up into the air and yelled "shockwave!" as his fists hit the ground the two soldiers flew through the air as if they got hit by a starship and then crashed into a wall. he scooped up the girl (who was as old as 6) and ran through the streets looking for a ship "im going to get you out of here!" he said. he knew of oly one group who could help him. jedi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goo Child Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 A twi'lek with very light blue skin sat in the council chamber with the other Jedi. He had become a Jedi only a few weeks ago. Now dressed in his black and blue robes he waited for war to end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 how do you like my story so far. i know its kindof DBZ animeish with ians fighting but i really think i could develop this character. btw if this is going agenct the story already planned tell me and ill try to change it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 Craig watched as Clark bumped into the Jedi, and the intent of the man was obvious. Craig's hand slowly moved toward his lightsaber hidden under his robe, but moved away in thinking it could jeopradize the negotiations, and returned to the group discussion, keeping an eye on Clark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jokemaster Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 Clark manages to steal the lightsaber, sneaking it into his sleeve. He apologizes for bumping into the jedi and heads to the exit in a slightly accelerated pace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 Craig rose from his seat at the same instant as Clark started to leave, and held out his hand, the lightsaber flew from Clark's grasp and into his hand. Craig smirked, saying, "You are clever, but not clever enough," and in the same instant, threw the lightsaber back to its rightful owner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jokemaster Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 Clark bolts from the room, but gets caught by the security team, which after taking blood samples discover he's force-sensitive. The information is promptly delivered to Craig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 Craig receives the message, and tells the guard to take him to the waiting room, and that he will discuss the matter with the other Jedi in the room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Wilson Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 kalidor steps off his small hover car onto the roof of the buliding oppiste the jedi counsel. From under his seat he draws a custem pulse laser with extended barrel and silencer, and waits for his target to show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalorian54 Posted March 21, 2003 Author Share Posted March 21, 2003 Just ignore the post about the darth cartman thing...I didn't know the story was still going, so the other site I had planed to co-wright it with will not be participating. I'm glad this is going somewhere. And whitedragon, your part is good, keep it up. I don't mind the DBZ style, whatever works. There can always be a kind of unique Jedi thing. ----------------------------------------------- Jaster Mareel walked through two lage doors, led by a man in strange armour. The man halted, slaming his metal boot down on the floor sending an echo through down the halway behind them. Before him sat a dignified soldier with a golden chain passing across his chest linking his two shoulders. The man's silver armour shone brightly, reflecting the light dangling from the celing above. Jaster assumed this to be the leader of this new faction. "You have requested addmitance into this private army am I correct?" The man said in as dignified a maner as one would expect from royalty. "Yeah, that's right." Jaster answered rather casually. The man made no change in his facial expression, he remained fearsome and seriouse. "You have a satisfactory record and as far as I am concered are an acceptable soldier," The man continued. "But why do you want to join us?" Jaster smiled, "Cuz your the best," he replied simply. Jaster noticed a slight twich in the man's lip, almost a smile. "We are the best, but only because we recruit the best." He leaned forward, "We will see how you fare on your first mission." And with that he was finished; with a wave of his hand towards the other soldier in the room he turned around in his rotating chair. The Soldier behind Jaster motioned towards the dorway as Jaster looked over his shoulder at him. Jaster followed the signal and headed for the door. The soldier followed after him and closed the door with a press of a button on his way out. * * * * * * Back at the barracks Jaster was introduced to some of the other soldiers, all experts in combat arts and skilled from years of training in various other orginizations, military, private armys such as this one, mercinaries, and other similar classes. Jaster had served in his homeworlds army since he was 16. He was a soldier, and his father was a Genral; his father had trained him personally, and Jaster had been part of the special forces. Until he had been captured by the enemies shortly before his home country lost the war. And he escaped from the prison camp and fled the country. His father had died at the enemies hands. But that was all in the past now. Jaster wanted to forget those days. "Atention!" A cry sounded from the doorway. Jaster stood at attention on the spot as did the other soldiers in the room. The officer steped inside the room and the door slid closed behind him. The man wore silver armour like the other soldiers Jaster had seen since his arrival. It was acctually a grey suit with silver armoured plates on it. Supposedly made out of the most durable metal know today, from what he'dd heard. The officer spoke up again, "Your all knew here and you'll recieve a simple mission first. After completing that mission you will be accepted into this private army and dawn your Mandalorian Battle Armour." The officer paused to look around the room at the small gathering. "You will have no provisions for this mission, only an objective, you must provide for yourself." The man's voice was almost a shout now, it had risen slightly. "Get some rest, your missions will be given you tommorow." The man finished and turned and left the room. Jaster sat down on his bed after the man had left, some of the other soldiers were gambling in the center of the room, a card game. Jaster watched for a while before recognizing it. He smiled broadly at the opportunity before him. Quickly he pushed away the smile, "Mind if I join." he asked. -------------------------------------------------- And if anyone has any Ideas for story line post them in the other thread:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 Craig quickly remembered what he was to do when it was his turn to speak. He was to tell of the benefits of the end of the war betwen them. When it was finally his turn to speak, he told of the many benefits of the end of the war, then, after he finished, he pulled out the letter and informed, "There is a man in the waiting room, he is force sensitive. It is not my job to decide what to do with him, so I leave it to you. Now I'm sorry to say I must take my leave, for I have done my part. I pray that this war between us will end." With that, Craig left the room quitely and into the waiting room where Clark was. "I'm sure you'll be alright. You have some good talent, I was amazed you were able to disarm a Jedi that easily," complimented Craig to Clark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 john went up to the gigantic doubble doors that led into the jedi temple, while holding the unconcious girl in his arms he walked up and opened them with the force several jedi came up to him but stoped dead when they saw him, he looked like he went through hell and back. he walked into a room with a bunch of jedi talking to eachother and said "tell me who is incharge here" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalorian54 Posted March 23, 2003 Author Share Posted March 23, 2003 The next day Jaster along with the other soldiers who had just been recruted into the Mandalorians were taken on a large drop ship far into the planet's wasteland, where thier test awaited. Each equipped with thier own gear and weapons, eagerly waiting to impress evryone with all their skills. There was about thirty or so soldiers cramed in the starship, it was large and spaciouse with seating on both sides of it's interior. The men all sat talking and boasting. There were few women, but there were some none the less. Jaster sat near the front of the ship, the far from him towards the back of the ship. A nervouse young man kept to himself and stayed as far to the back as possible. He was timid, though obviously had some skill if he had been recognized by the Mandalorians. Jaster wondered to himself if the young man would even make it off the ship. The ship slowed and one of the pilot's turned to face the soldiers. "What awaits you out those doors is for you to discover." He said in a mild shout. "We in this ship will proceded to another location and you must make it alive to us. Those who survive will be officially members of the Mandalorians. Good luck," He finished. "I don't believe in luck," Jaster muttered under his breath. The ship slowed and landed softly on the grey sands; the doors slowly opened, allowing sunlight to penetrate the ships shadowy intereior. Jaster watched from his place near the back as sevral men ran out into the open wastelands, the bumpy ground decorated with variouse clumps of rock and hill. Some soldiers advanced slowly, causiously. Others simply walked out into the open ground at a casual pace. A few of the fast careless men who rushed out were blown into the sky by mines scattered throughout the terrain. Some of them made it out to some rock clusters for cover, looking suspicously around for danger. As the men filed out and jaster set his first foot on the ground dust shot into the air from either side of them. Lasers immediatly shot out from the dust, a few men ducked in time and retured fire from thier places on the ground, others were killed or injured by the lasers. And when the mecanisms which fired from behind the dust had been destroyed, Jaster not firing a shot of his own, the survivors left the dead and wounded to continue on with the mission. Although a few did help thier wounded friends, many sevral were left spraled on the sand crying out in pain. Jaster now noticed up ahead the men who had gone ahead were pinned down by small machined with mounted turrets on thier heads. Jaster saw the terrain up ahead fill with little machines, firing lasers in all directions, setting the sky ablaze. Jaster crouched behind some rocks as a few stray bolts headed his way. He noticed a few other men and a woman also holding back while the others took the brute of the attack. The timmid young man he had seen earlyer was not among the dead or wounded, and Jaster couldn't see him in the midst of the fire. Wait, there he was. The man ran through the cross fire, leaping off rocks, spinning and blasting. He landed in a crouch with smoking robots all around him, and hurried on ahead of the others, who were still tied up in the heat of the battle. Jaster ran around the main battle, but blasted with the pistols in each hand at the little robots who sprouted hear and there, around him. Taking out each one with deadly accuracy. Jaster neared a jutting cliff of sand and stopped short of the corner. Peering around the corner he noticed a slope rising on either side of a narrow pass. The pass blazing with lasers mounted on the slope. One man ran through, leaping between lasers and rolling under more. Jaster ran to keep up with the other man, he lept between two lasers, landing in a roll passing under another laser as he had seen the other man do before him. Now standing he paused at the cluster of mixed lasers before him. And running he angled a jump passing through the cluster unharmed. Now Jaster looked around, the narrow pass opened up and ahead on a hill the ship rested, waiting thier return. The other man was no where to be seen. Jaster started for the ship before stopping abruptly, foot suspended in mid air. Before him was an infested area of land mines. And directly under his foot where he had almost stepped, a mine. Jaster slowly lifted his foot and rested it safly back on harmlest soil. "Your the most skilled I've seen in a long time," A voice came from behind Jaster. He turned to see a man standing in a mixture of combat gear and armour. It was the apperently timid young man from before. Only he wasn't timid. "Your not so bad yourself." Jaster complimented. "Come on, I'll show you the safe way." Jaster looked at the man odly, the safe way? "Step back," He motioned for Jaster to step back a bit. When Jaster came to the man's side the man pulled out a grenade of his own, and pressing a button threw it amongst the mines. When it exploded a trail of mines exploded one after the other, each one setting another off. The mines exploded in a winding path towards the ship. "Watch your step." Jaster followed the man down the path of pot holes in the sand, where mines had been. On either side of them mines still remained, but his grenade thrown at a precise place had set off a clear trail straight to the ship. Half way there it got a little complicated. Flying robots zoomed about shooting little lasers at the two men, who were now running blasting with thier own laser rifles. At the end two pillars rose from the base of the hill, with lasers crisscrossing and constantly moving. Jaster watched the man leap, twisting himself in the air and gliding through the lasers. Jaster followed jumping at the opposite side as the lasers moved forming a small opening which he squeezed through unhurt. "What's your name?" the man asked as Jaster rose from his knees. "Jaster" "Jack, nice to meet you." They shook hands and approached the ship where they were congradulated and given a medal for being the first two of the groop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Craig turned toward John as he had stopped by this small group on his way out and turned to him. He answered "There is no one in charge, but being a Knight myself, I will be glad to be of service." Craig immediately after noticed the girl and walked closer. "Is she alright?" asked Craig, obviously confused at the man's presence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalorian54 Posted March 26, 2003 Author Share Posted March 26, 2003 Jaster was once again in the leader's office. The commander of the Mandalorians had grey hair, though he wasn't that old, he just didn't dye it. And the man had a scar along his right cheakbone. The scar started from his eyebrow and descended just lower than his nose. Jack stood at Jaster's side, the two of them had been called shortly following the test mission. "You two were the first to arrive safely at the finish of the test. I am proud to admit you into the Mandalorians." He said with a hint of a smile twitching at the side of his lips. But he retained a serious look. "You will each be given the rank of Corporal, I look forward to seeing you in action. Dismissed." With that the two recruits turned and left the room. The comander of the Mandalorians turned in his chair after the doors to his office closed and he was alone. Facing the grid wall he keyed it on and it flashed to life. "Master Zambeil, I am relieved to tell you that our recruits have finished thier training and we are ready to begin a prosperouse buisness relationship." The commander said politely, with a friendly smile on his face. "Yes," The dark cloaked man in the screen said slowly, pondering what had just been said. "I hope you live up to your reputation, Aussa," He said cooly. Aussa Rein the leader of the Mandalorians continued, "And what do the sith request of thier new employees?" "The Kimpo have a small resistance in the mountains to the south. We would really apreciate it if they were dealt with, in whatever means you wish, as long as they are no longer a threat. You will be paid half tomorow and half when complete." "As you wish, we will dispose of them." "I will send you my newest aprentice, his name is Kame-Teth, he will bring you first half of the payment and will survey your progress. We look forward to our next meeting, until then." The sith master bowed his head and the screen flashed before going dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goo Child Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Syrem ran up to Craig. "I've called the woman Kel Dor healer. She will be here shotly." Syrem's lekku twitched "By the way may name is Syrem Dor'jara." The Twi'lek said holding out his hand to Craig. TAG: Craig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamehart Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 Craig took his hand and shook it, then spoke "Thank you Syrem. I am Craig, it's been awhile since I used my last name, so I'll tell you another time. Again, many thanks for getting the medic." With that Craig turned to John, and said, "Set her down in that chair, the healer will be here shortly to take care of her, in the meantime, please tell your story." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 john fell into a chair and relaxed then he started to speak. "my name is john redhammer and i am a mercenary and i usually travel from planet to planet just looking for jobs. i came to a planet called zou and began to work odd jobs for various people. after a year i decided to stay and live out the rest of my life there and when things finnaly began to settle into place. thats when they came. i dont know how or from where but they..they" john covered his face with his hands and just when craig was going to suggest he should stop john started up again "they killed everyone..men...women...children. everyone. i found the girl just as i was looking for a way out but after i found her i could find no more survivors. and thats my story" john suddenly fell off the chair onto his knees. craig put his hand on johns back and tryed to lift him up but he saw that there was a hole in johns jacket and that his hand was covered in blood "oh man" craig said. john smiled up and him with sweat running down his face and said "yeah i guess i dident do such a good job patching it up" john collapsed onto the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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