How about some humour?

[Kjølen]

I was just thinking, I haven't posted a thread in a loooooooong time, so I searched for some worthwhile material.

Beware , maybe.

 

Condom Slogans

# Cover your stump before you hump.

# Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.

# Don't be silly, protect your willy.

# When in doubt, shroud your spout.

# Don't be a loner, cover your boner.

# You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.

# If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

# If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

# If you slip between her thighs, condomize.

# It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

# She won't get sick, if you wrap your dick.

# If you go into heat, package your meat.

# While your undressing venus, dress up your penis.

# When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.

# Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

# Never ever deck her, with an unwraped pecker.

# Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.

# The right selection, is to protect your erection.

# Wrap it in foil, before checking her oil.

# A crank with armor, will never harm her.

# If you really love her, wear a cover.

# Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.

# Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.

# If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

# No glove, No love.

 

Ok, and there's been condom jokes like this but now it's viagra, I guess.

Consider a merger of VIAGRA with:

 

AT&T whose motto is "Reach out and touch someone".

 

or Burger King - "Home of the WHOPPER"

 

You get the idea.

 

Here are some more:

 

Chevrolet - "Like a ROCK".

 

Energizer Batteries - "Keeps on going, and going, and going......."

 

U.S. Army - "Be all that you can be".

 

Don't forget McDonald's, where you can "Supersize for just $0.39".

 

MCI can give a new twist to their "Friends and Family" circles.

 

With Timex, it "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking".

 

Les Schwab Tires offers "Free Beef".

 

Surge pop says "Feel the rush".

 

VISA - "It's everywhere you want to be".

 

IBM provides "Solutions for a small planet"

 

With Allstate Insurance, "You're in good hands".

 

The Marines are "Looking for a few good men".

 

AM/PM minimart boasts "Too much good stuff".

 

Nostalgia: "When man finds the past perfect, and the present tense"

 

All found at:

 

http://www.effect.net.au/lukastan/humour/Mainmenu.htm

 

Anyone wanna add anything?

[Mr.Burger]

beat? what do you mean you'll be beat me?

 

BEAT MY MEAT??

[Ernil]

Yes Burger. Humor at it's most valuable.

[Kjølen]

beat you? What are you talking about? *Rereads my post*

 

<Edit: When I had copied and pasted I only got part of the condom slogans because I was pasting them bit by bit on IRC or it would disconnect me for flooding, but I added the rest I forgot>