Jump to content

Home

Things you wish you could say at work


Guest Kint

Recommended Posts

Some of them will get automatically censored, but it's all good fun.

 

Phrases you wish you could say at work

1. Ahhh...I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again...

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh**.

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. No, my powers can only be used for good.

24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

25. Who me? I just wander from room to room

26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

27. Do I look like a people person?

28. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

31. You!... Off my planet!

32. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

34. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

35. Allow me to introduce my selves.

36. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

37. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

38. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

40. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

41. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

42. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

43. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

44. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

45. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

46. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

47. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

48. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.

49. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

50. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

 

 

------------------

Moff Kint

Kint@beer.com

Get my PGP key at www3.sympatico.ca/kint/mykey.asc

 

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

 

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by Kint (edited February 10, 2000).]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HEY!!! You stole the "... Hell with fluorecent lighting" one from me!!! That's how I've described my school for THREE frigging years!!!

 

------------------

Should'a kept my pants on this time, but instead you had to let me dive right in!

 

-Chorus of No Sex by Limp Bizkit on the 1999 released album, Significant Other.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh well, I stole your "Outlook" sig... I guess we're even...

 

------------------

Should'a kept my pants on this time, but instead you had to let me dive right in!

 

-Chorus of No Sex by Limp Bizkit on the 1999 released album, Significant Other.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My Super Star Destroyer, her crew, and I laugh in your general direction.

 

------------------

Should'a kept my pants on this time, but instead you had to let me dive right in!

 

-Chorus of No Sex by Limp Bizkit on the 1999 released album, Significant Other.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest flamin_tie

I guess me, myself, and I will have to put a stop to this stuff.......

I will gun you down with my Death Star if you dont behave, children.

 

The best sites on the net.

dogdoo.com

crap-o-gram.com

tell someone how you <bold>really</bold> feel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest flamin_tie

Something I wish I could say to my boss-

"Yes, sir...you're the boss, You say "Jump", and I say "How high...would I have to be to take orders from you!? See you later, crap with feet!"

 

(stolen from drew carrey)

Mwahahaha!! Eat that FAT-BOY!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...