Ambrose Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Recently my teacher was giving extra credit for writing poems for the school literary magazine, and this is one of the two of mine (along with Cpl. Jason L. Dunham) which were published in it. Far from my best work, and with no deep meaning in particular, but I just wanted to have some fun with rhyme and rhythm schemes. The result is that it's just fun to say out loud. Anyway, enjoy! The poem it’s flowing it’s gushing it’s growing its sweet essence leading the tip of my pen The paper it’s filling its contents distilling the current of thinking my rhythm and rhyme The rhythm it’s beating it’s drumming, repeating my heart goes to match it in step and in time. This beauty of rhyming in words so aligning is forcing a joy to my soul known to few How writers, we glory, in verse and in story in writing so fluid a piece such as this When words are ne’er lacking and stanzas keep stacking; the dam’s fin’lly burst and my ink flows anew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Point Man Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I think you had a good thing going in the first stanzas, but then the meter fell apart in the last couple. If you can recapture the meter, it can be quite good. I freely admit to being biased toward toward strict meters, but, to me, the artistry in poetry is being able to balance the tension of finding just the right word in terms of meaning and its fit with the selected form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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