[FIC] Lost Path

[Divide&Conquer]

(This is a work in progress, but I would love feedback on what I've done so far. Thanks a ton)

 

Lost Path

 

It felt like a cold night on Tatooine, at least it felt that way to Caton Ta'em. Caton wondered threw the streets of Bestine, the capital city of Tatooine. He sighed as he stopped and looked up towards the night sky. Once a very promising Jedi Padawan, now nothing more then a mere Mercenary. Caton smiled as he continued to walk to the cantina. It's been a long day and a good drink would help settle him down. As he passed by he over heard a Rodian and a Twi'lek talking, he stopped and hid in the shadows and listened carefully.

 

“It's strange, a Jedi showing back up all of a sudden. And here of all places.” Said the Twi'lek

 

“Jedi's are scum, kill one, five more show up. Better off gone.” Said the Rodian

 

“I hear that the doctor is looking for some one who can ID her. Apparently she isn't waking up, probably some Jedi trick. That doctor would be better off just killing her.” Said the Twi'lek.

 

Both the Rodian and the Twi'lek laughed. Hmm... this might be fun to check out, Caton thought to himself, but first just to be on the safe side. Caton took out his blaster pistons and shot both the Twi'lek and the Rodian dead. Now if they wanted to harm the Jedi female they won't be able to. Caton laughed softly and walked out of the shadows with a new destination in mind. A good drink could wait, he wanted to see this female Jedi. He wanted to see a Jedi suffering, like they made him suffer.

 

He walked passed the cantina, hearing the cheering, laughing, and fighting going on inside. On a normal day he'd go inside and take a seat in the back and watch the others get to drunk and start pointless arguments, to him that was all the amusement he needed. A few minuets later he finally reached the Medical Facility, he stood out side the door for a few moments feeling strange but finally shook the feeling off. He entered the Medical Facility and was instantly greeted by a Medical Droid.

 

“Oh, master Caton, what a pleasure it is to see you again. Are you in need of healing?” said the Medical droid.

 

Canton shook his head and responded “Not today, I'm looking for the Female Jedi that was brought in. I might be of some assistance.”

 

“And how might you be able to help? Your only a mercenary, the only reason why I treat you is because you have a better moral understanding of things unlike those other mercenaries.” Said an elderly man with a limp as he walked into the room.

 

Caton watched the the medical droid turn to the old man and float out of the room. He then turned his attention to the elderly man and said “Well Deimos, I've come across some Jedi in my time. So today might be your lucky day, I might know her.” Deimos looked over Caton carefully and said “Very well, follow me.”

 

Deimos turned around and started to walk down a long hall way, Caton followed suit. Deimos was one of the first people Caton meet when he came to Tatooine. Caton got into a loosing battle with a couple of Rodian's and ended up in the Medical Lab. But that was a long time ago, and Caton is now stronger for that experience. Deimos walked into a room and pointed to a bed. Caton walked by Deimos and slightly brushed against him. He walked to the side of the bed and carefully looked at the uncontentious female Jedi. He was in shock, his heart started to race. It couldn't be not her, but it was, it was a friend of his when he was a Padawan, both of them were Padawan's.

 

“This is an old friend.” Caton muttered

 

“What Caton? You need to speak up. My hearing isn't as good as it used to be.” said Deimos.

 

“She's an old friend of mine, I'd recognize her face anywhere, her name is Naomi Hasew.” Caton said.

 

“Well it's finally good to put a name with the face. If your wondering at all she'll be fine, she just needs rest. I'm not sure how long she'll be safe here though. After the Jedi Civil War, there hasn't been much love for Jedi's...” Canton interrupted the doctor saying “I'll take her to my place, every one here knows not to mess with me, she'll be safe with me.”

 

Caton picked up Naomi and carried her to the front door of the Medical Facility, then looked over his shoulder to Deimos “I'll come by tomorrow and pick up her bill.” then left the Facility. Caton walked straight to his place, guess no drink tonight, he thought and laughed some. He finally reached his little shack just outside Bestine. Caton went straight to his room and paced her down on his bed, and gently pulled the sheets over her. He stared at her for a moment and sighed.

 

“Well Naomi, I honestly never thought I'd see you again.” He sighed again “But why in Hutts name did you come here?”

 

He shook his head and entered another room and sat on a chair. He folded his arms across his chest, with his head tilted back he stared at the ceiling above until sleep over came him. He awoke to foot steps in the dark, he eased his hand to the pistol at his side and rested it on the handle ready to draw and shoot. He kept his eyes closed and listen to the footsteps and they drew closer and closer. He heard to the door to the room he was in open, the foot steps were now getting closer to him. He shot out of the chair and pushed it to the ground, he could hear it hit the floor and bounce several time before coming to rest. He grabbed the person with his left hand and pushed them to the wall with his blaster pistol in his right hand pointed under their chin ready to put a hole threw the persons skull.

“Who do you think you are sneaking around in my home?” Caton demanded in a low voice.

 

“Please, I only woke up here. I wanted to fine out where I am. I don't mean you any harm.” A soft voice pleaded.

“Naomi is that you?” Asked Caton.

 

“How? How do you know my name?”the soft voice asked.

 

Caton let go of Naomi and walked back a few steps, putting his blaster pistol away. He then turned around and went to a near by closet and put on a hooded cloak. “How I know you is unimportant. Are you doing better?” Caton said as he put the hood over his head to hide his face and turned on some lights.

 

“Yes, I'm doing fine. Thank you. But why are you hiding you face from me?” Naomi said.

 

Caton was looking at the ground, wanting to keep space between them. Having her here just reminded him of the past he wanted to forget. She needs to get off this planet soon, it's definitely not safe for her. Not while people are still uneasy about the Jedi, he thought to himself. Still uncertain as to how she was going to escape Tatooine, but he knew while she was here he'd help her.

 

“Excuse me are you alright? Sir?” Naomi said with some worry in her voice.

 

“Huh? Uh... yea I'm fine. Listen you need to get off this planet. Not to many people here like Jedi's and by now this whole planet knows your a Jedi. I'll help you escape if you want.” Caton said.

 

Caton glanced up at her for a second. She'd definitely grown from the last time he saw her. He sighed, and tried to suppress the feelings he was having, it was his emotions that got him into trouble with the Jedi council in the first place. He didn't want her to get into trouble because of his emotions.

 

“I do not need your help.” she said in a slight demanding voice.

 

Hearing those words made Caton laugh a little. “Still quick to deny a helping hand. No matter, just so you know I'm still going to be keeping an eye on you.” He glanced up once again and saw that she was smiling. It was only sometime later that he realized he was smiling too. It had been so long since he had a reason to smile, he believed that he no longer possessed the knowledge or the

capability of smiling. She started to walk closer to him, which made him startle back. Her hands touched his face and lifted his head. She looked deep into his silver eyes and said “Caton, why are you hiding from me. Aren't we friends?” Caton gently held her hands in his, and removed them from his face and let go, then removed the cloak saying, “Well guess there is no need for this.” and dropped it to the ground.

 

“It's been a long time Caton.” Naomi said looking at him like they never really had parted in the first place. But they had, Caton knew that fact all to well. For a long time he only thought of her, hoping she was succeeding in her goal to one day become a Jedi Master. Then reality set in, he had to start thinking of himself, and he did leaving his past behind him and starting a new life. Caton walked over the chair he had knocked down and picked it up while saying “Yea, it's been to long Naomi.”. He sat the chair by a table and took a seat. Naomi took a seat opposite of him. The two talked for hours about their life, and laughing with each other.

 

“So what brought you to Tatooine?” Caton finally asked. Naomi looked down at the cup she was holding in her hand. She did look just as Caton remembered, her golden hair tied back, crystal blue eyes, and a face so lovely that it could turn the heads of even blind men.

 

“I came here to hide. It seems that some one is hunting the remaining Jedi. And I thought this place would be a good place to hide with all the suffering that is here.” She responded. Caton laughed and said “this place isn't all to bad. It does take some getting use too, but you manage. But how did you end up in the Medical Facility?”

 

“While wondering around, some one must have noticed my lightsaber, and trapped be in an alley way. I didn't want to kill or injure them, so I just took what they gave me.”

 

Caton shook his head “Naomi they could have killed you. You can't be so passive if you expect to last longer then a day on this planet. Is it really your desire to stay here?” Naomi didn't say anything she only nodded her head and tighten her grip on the cup in her hands. Caton reached out his hands and held hers and looked straight at her and said “Then I give you my honor as a Mercenary, that while you are here I'll watch over you. And you can stay here with me. We are friends after all. And it be good to have company.”. Naomi looked at him and smiled and said “Thank you Caton.”

 

Caton was looking at Naomi up and down “hmm... we are going to need to do something about those cloths. They look to much like you belong to the Order, you need something less noticeable. Wait here I know some one who can help.” Caton stood up and started to walk towards the door to leave when Naomi said “Why did you leave?”. Caton stood there in shock for a while, what does she mean “why did you leave?” certainly she has to know I didn't leave because I wanted too. Caton turned around and looked at her and smile and said “We'll talk about this when I get back, It looks like there are some things you need to know.”

 

He walked out of his shack back towards Bestine. As he walked past the Medical Facility he noticed a big crowed around it, and czerka's private police standing by the door. He walked towards the back of the crowed and tried to see threw them. He over heard a couple citizens talking.

 

“why would anyone want to kill the doctor? He was the best we had.” said one of the citizens.

[Weave]

Very good. My only problem is the scene with the Rodian and the Twi'lek... I think you killed them off pretty quickly. Random strangers are perfect for developing characters. If Catom took pleasure in killing them like you seemed to illustrate in the story. Then perhaps it would have been better to have him manipulate them, toy with them, then kill them. Say... he tries to be a friendly mercenary to the Rodian and Twi'lek. He buys them a drink, talks about how business is (he's a mercenary, right?), gets some more info on the Jedi they were talking about... tries to see what their opinions are... Then Catom whips out his blaster and pegs his 'buddies'... takes their money and whatnot... then leaves a nice tip for the waiter/waitress...

But then again... that's just me.

Other than that, good job... I'd like to see more.

 

[Empress Padme]

I like it. Warning though : double space. While I have no problem with no double spacing , theres a few that due. Just from personal experiance I thought I should warn you of that.

[Divide&Conquer]

Thanks both of you, i really appreciate it

[Weave]

I like it. Warning though : double space. While I have no problem with no double spacing , theres a few that due. Just from personal experiance I thought I should warn you of that.

 

Yeah... double spacing is good too... it's easier on the reader's eyes.

 

Nevermind... I see you edited it... now it's sleek and sexy

[Divide&Conquer]

(I've done a little bit more check it out. I'm having a little trouble figuring out how to describe the ship.)

 

Deimos is dead, but who would want to kill him? This doesn't make sense Caton thought, a little unwilling to believe that any one would want to harm Deimos considering how much he helped every one in Bestine. He turns away from the crowed and starts to head to the shopping district, he stops and turns his head towards the medical facility and says to himself “I'm sorry my friend that I can't avenge your death. But I promise you this if I find out who killed you, they will taste vengeance.”, with saying that he started walking again with fiery rage burning inside. If he does meet who ever killed Deimos he will not be forgiving.

 

The talk of Bestine was the death of Deimos, he's heard rumors that he was killed by the Jedi that was hiding some where in town. Or that his droid experienced mechanical failure. When ever some one would come up to Caton and inquire about his opinion on Deimos death he re-enforce the malfunctioning droid by simply saying “He never did take the droid in for the most basic repairs, maybe it finally got fed up.”. Most would be satisfied with that simple answer but he could tell that some were not as pleased, but it bothered him none. Even still feeling the rage towards who ever killed Deimos he had to focus on protecting Naomi, more people will be hunting her now. It might be a good idea to get her off this planet and to a different one he thought, but that was easier said then done. Caton had no vessel of his own, he sighed heavily not knowing how to get her off Tatooine, but he feel deep down that he would find a way.

 

Caton stopped in front of a merchant stand and was greeted by the merchant “Aw, Caton what a pleasure it is to see you. What can I help you with this time? I got better weaponry then this back at my ship, if you want to have a look?”

 

Caton stood there in silence for a few moments, he has a ship, maybe, just maybe he can help me. It's worth a shot, don't have much to lose right now as it is, nodding his head Caton said “Alright, I could always use some new weapons. But first...” Caton looked down and saw some average looking cloths, nothing that would make Naomi stand out, and certainly wouldn't make any one think she was a Jedi. After he purchased the cloths, the merchant stood up and waved for Caton to follow him.

 

It took a while for them to reach the hanger bay where his ship was, but when Caton laid his eyes on it he had a gut feeling that the ship would be of great help. He's observed his merchant friend for a few days now and noticed he hasn't left Tatooine once.

[Weave]

(I've done a little bit more check it out. I'm having a little trouble figuring out how to describe the ship.)

 

Well, for starters, you could describe the color or what condition it is in...

...look at the Ebon Hawk, it's pretty banged up. Use lots of simile comparisons.

 

As for the shape, that's just going to be straight from your imagination. And also describe the ship's systems... turret: how many does the ship have, do they have a quick response... (sluggish when engaging other fighters)...

Does it look zippy and fast... or slow. And also describe what type of trade it's in... is it a smugglers vessle? A luxury ship? A rust-bucket that's only supposed to get you from point A to point B? etc. etc...

 

All-in-all... keep writing, the suspense mounts!

 

[Divide&Conquer]

(here is some more, enjoy)

 

It took a while for them to reach the hanger bay where his ship was, but when Caton laid his eyes on it he had a gut feeling that the ship would be of great help. The ship itself was a small freighter ship and a few dents and scrapes. Which wasn't all to surprising since how the merchant was a smuggler. It looked fast but Caton knew that appearances can be deceiving. They entered the ship while his merchant friend gathered the weapons for him to look at, Caton explored the ship. A west and east crew quarters, cargo bay in the back, dead center of the ship looked like some kind of briefing room, and the bridge located up front.

 

“Well Caton something tells me your not at all interested in my weapons, but rather my ship.” said the merchant.

 

Caton turned around smiling at his friend saying “You could say that Arador, tell me how fast does this vessel go?”

 

Arador laughed and said “well it's the second fastest ship in the galaxy, it's gotten me out of a few jams with shipping inspections.” Arador then turned serious “So what do you need my ship for Caton?”

 

Caton crossed his arms over his chest and looked seriously at Arador “It seems I've gotten myself into a little situation and me and a companion need to get off this planet secretly. I was hoping I could purchase your flying skills.”

 

Arador looked at Caton curiously, the pair remained silent for a moment then Arador chimed up “What kind of trouble are we talking about, Caton?” Caton laughed out loud then said “Honestly Arador it be better if you didn't know, this mission alone could cause you a lot of trouble.” Caton stood there watching as Arador sat in a chair nodding his head while thinking. Hopefully he'll help me and Naomi, then Arador shot up with determination saying “Alright I'm in, I'm getting board of being a merchant on this planet anyways. So when do we leave?”

 

Caton thought about it for a while it probably be best if we leave quickly before they figure out that Naomi is the Jedi they are looking for, “As soon as I come back with my companion, okay?”

 

Caton watched as Arador sat back down in the seat and leaned forward towards Caton with a curious look on his face “Can this companion be trusted?” Arador inquired. All Caton did was nod his head, and that was good enough for Arador. Caton then turned around and left the ship. He tried to remain calm, but his nerves were getting the better of him, he wasn't sure if he was just excited or extremely nervous. Caton shook his head I don't have time for this, Naomi needs to get off this planet. On his way back to his home he noticed that the crowed had dispersed around the the Medical facility, but the Czerka authorities where still guarding the perimeter. He took a deep breath, and exhaled hoping Naomi was alright back at his place.

 

When he finally arrived he noticed he had some visitors, Czerka police no less. Caton straighted himself and looked around the room, no sight of Naomi, Damn it, did they arrest her? He turned toward the commander saying “What is it you want Captain Gon? Why are you in my home?”

 

Captain Gon stood up slowly and walked toward Caton, he stopped right in front of him looking directly into his eyes and grinned. In a low voice he said “You see Caton, I know you have the Jedi hiding here. I know that you were the last one people saw leaving the medical facility carrying a body towards your home. So Caton just tell me where your hiding the Jedi, and I'll just happen to forget your involvement in Doctor Deimos death. What do you say?”

 

Caton looked straight back into Captain Gon's eyes and coldly said “I don't know what your talking about, so please leave my home, now” Captain Gon laughed and signaled to his men to leave the room, they did as they were ordered before Captain Gon left he looked coldly at Caton saying “I'll be watching you closely Caton so don't go anywhere” then he smiled at Caton and said “Okay?”. After saying that Captain Gon left the house, with a big sigh of relief from Caton.

[Weave]

Catom should give in to the Dark Side and kill off Gon! HAHAHA!!! Actually, don't listen to me, I'm morbid like that. Anyways, you're doing a good job. And you're putting chapters out there in a timely fashion which is a really good thing cause readers can get fussy when things take a while.

[Empress Padme]

Very good. Keep up the good work

[Divide&Conquer]

thank you ^^

 

At some point I'll probably show more of Caton's internal struggle.

[Ferc Kast]

Good job on this, so far. Keep the good work.