New Priest...

[brief]

Before his first mass, a new priest asked the monsignor for advice on how to deal with his anxiety. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday the priest took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:

1. [*]

Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

[*]There are 10 Commandments, not 12.

[*]There are 12 disciples, not 10.

[*]Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

[*]Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

[*]We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

[*]The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

[*]David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of him.

[*]When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

[*]We do not refer to the cross as the Big T.

[*]When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper He said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", He did not say, "Eat me"!

[*]The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the Cherry."

[*]The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God."

[*]Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pully contest at St. Taffy's.

[*]Don't refer to Jesus and the 12 disciples as "J.C. and the boys."

[/list=a]

 

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"Christian blood! I need Christian blood!"

 

[This message has been edited by brief (edited August 17, 2001).]

[MagnusB]

Hmmm.

How do I disguise this sentence as not being spam?

Maybe writing what I'm currently writing will be enough?

Lol!

 

[This message has been edited by MagnusB (edited August 17, 2001).]

[Rufio]

funny stuff@!

 

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