crigers Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 This is a poem/epic I wrote a while ago, and I thought it turned out alright. Give me your feedback, or post some of your own compositions The Hero in the Rain The plain was strewn with the bodies of those, Who had fought and thought of each other as foes. They stretched out to the north, and back to the west With only one left, and he was the best. He sits on a rock with his sword in the ground And is still and stares down with a frown. Then he sits up and looks around At the carnage that is left strewn on the ground. He sits and thinks in his head, about all left dead, And feels as though his heart is lead. He turns his head to the sky above, And looks and sees a single dove. Amid the flocks of the war birds, A glimmer of hope is seen and heard. Then he thinks of all the pain, And suddenly it starts to rain. As it pours, as it pours, he thinks more about the war He then swore not to swing a sword forever more. He stood up and started trudging home, Splashing blood and crushing bone. Walking the path in the rain, He relived everyones pain. Thinking there, he took a stance, For body and brains final dance. Aloud he cried his final words Most meaningful words, gone unheard. Remember him as he lies, Remember him as he dies. Struck down by a fatal blow, As he stood against Deaths blow. Remember him, drowned in others pain, He is the Hero in the rain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkstrong16 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Its beautiful*sniff* That is the fist poem to make my heart sink. I loved it.......keep up the good work my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Not bad at all. I like it. I do think that you posted it in the wrong area though. I think that you should have posted it in the Outer Rim. Maybe one of the mods can move it or something....anyways, good job crigers! BTW-- Welcome to LucasForums crigers!! Enjoy your stay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crigers Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 thanks, Im glad you liked it. And Rev7 thanks for welcome, and this looked like the appropriate spot to put it, but you might be right. I guess we'll just leave that up to a mod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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