Guest Shootist Posted April 22, 2000 Share Posted April 22, 2000 Nah, Imladil is Little Johnny's alter ego and they are BOTH under the influence of Oreo the Magnificent...Feline collector of souls, ids, egos and funky underwear skidmarks. (jk) ------------------ Don't do things like wear stinkey green tennis shoes, they may get a lot of attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love...Ack...Phhht!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Evil Spock Posted April 22, 2000 Share Posted April 22, 2000 Oh, that's it--! This guy uses too many alter egos! What is he, schizoid or something? ------------------ "Beware the bearded one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted April 22, 2000 Share Posted April 22, 2000 My lawyer strongly urges me not to discuss Little Jimmies on the Internet! But he doesn't speak French, so: "Je m'appelle Jim, ainsi j'utulise ce nom de temps en temps ici...mais jamais directement en association avec moi-meme. Fou, non?" Little Jimmy's Top Ten Blade Forms <font size=1>Just in case there are any sword-freaks in the house.</font> 1: Rapier. A thin-bladed, highly flexible sword intended for use with the point only. A particularly European contrivance dating back to Roman times, the rapier is, IMHO, the most deadly bladed weapon developed by humans. It gains this distinction by using the straight-line attack, which minimizes the distance (in a lunge) to the target. Getting 'run through' often happened very quick, and was usually a surprise. 2: Katana. Otherwise known as the Samurai sword, it is a moderately-bent single-edged sword for use with both hands. The long handle makes it highly meaneuverable in close quarters, and the distant placement of hands give one a powerful stroke. Most swordsmen acknowledge the katana as the best bladed weapon ever invented, but I count points off because the point is so hard to use. Picture someone lunging with a Samurai sword--see? 3: Shortsword. A catchall phrase, entirely modern, intended to describe any sword in the two-foot-length variety. A Roman gladius would be a good example; they are mostly used in close quarters. 4: Yataghan. A Turkish design with its roots in ancient Egypt, it is an S-shaped blade with the outside curve toward the end. In the late nineteenth century, the French widely produced a soldier's sword and a bayonet version of the yataghan. In combat, its double curves make it versatile, and a powerful cutter. 5: Kukhri. Essentially, a knife version of the yataghan from Nepal, its roots equally ancient. The blade is broad and tough; Nepalese Gurkha troops in WW2 carried kukhris into combat, where it gained a reputation as a good field and fighting knife. 6: Celtic scramasax. A parallel evolution of the S-shaped blade, in a throwing dagger. 7: Saxon scramasax. A different weapon, much like a bowie knife. Some were used as swords, and some were small enough to be thrown. Its blade shape comes to us through history in many single-bladed pocket knives. 8: Saber. A half-bent sword like the katana, originating in India, only intended for one hand. It shares the katana's handicap with the point, without it's two-handed advantages. Nevertheless, very effective on horseback. 9: Stiletto. Another ancient blade form going back to Egypt, it is simply a thin-bladed dagger designed to slip through the primitive armor of the period. It survives to this day in the switchblade knife, the 'personal dagger' of modern times. 10: Claymore. The long, two-handed sword we all saw Mel Gibson use in Braveheart. Although the sword was way, way too big for Mel, it can be an effective weapon in the hands of someone with enough stature to use it...like a naked, blue Scotsman. Arr. That's enough! No more sword talk till we get these pigeons watered... ------------------ "The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy." --Imladil the Bouncy "SSD, VSD, ISD...if it looks like pizza, but I don't want none--it's a star destroyer!" --Little Jimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rebel_jediknight Posted April 22, 2000 Share Posted April 22, 2000 A ST fan, and you forgot the bat'leth? And what about the all-powerful lightsaber? ------------------ What- You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? -------------- We're doomed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted April 23, 2000 Share Posted April 23, 2000 Certainly. Here we go: 11: Bat'leth. A silly and oversized weapon which would be well-suited for plowing corn. It has two points, but due to the way the weapon is configured, the only way to deliver the point is overhand (which exposes the user.) Looks impressive over the fireplace, though. 12: Lightsaber. The most dangerous weapon in existance--especially to its owner! The blade has no mass, and can easily be 'lost' to the user's perception, with disastrous consequences. Since the laser blade cuts instantly, and from any direction, there is no room for error. Fortunately, though, most lightsaber wounds are self-cauterizing. Actually, the most effective sci-fi weapon I've ever seen was the Vulcan lirpa. Now that is a party stick! ------------------ "The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy." --Imladil the Bouncy "SSD, VSD, ISD...if it looks like pizza, but I don't want none--it's a star destroyer!" --Little Jimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rebel_jediknight Posted April 23, 2000 Share Posted April 23, 2000 Much better. ------------------ What- You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? -------------- We're doomed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil's Cat Oreo Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 Oreo's Top Ten Fun Things in Life 1: Yummy food. 2: Dry food. 3: Garbage. 4: Mice. 5: Birds. 6: Naps in the windowsill. 7: Clawing furniture. 8: Being petted. 9: Growling at other kitties. 10: Chasing Dot.* <font size=1>*'Dot' is a laser-pointer.</font> ------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fondas Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 Fondas pets Oreo Hey kitty , where have you been ? Are you still messing with Imladil's computer ? Imladil , your valuation regarding the lightsaber is correct, that's why it takes a Jedi or a Sith to handle it and not be decapitated ! ------------------ "So be it ...Jedi" - Emperor Palpatine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted April 25, 2000 Share Posted April 25, 2000 *Sniff!* My kitty is an officer. I'm so proud. And me a simple corpsman... Fondas! Whasup, dawg? Now, what about that double-bladed lightstaff Darth Maul was working? If they ever actually made a weapon like that, I would throw it at my opponent and say, "Here! Take yourself out!" Which reminds me...whose bright idea was it to give the Gungans that 'boomer' technology? Jeez-o-pete, those things would be scary in a real fight! ------------------ "Is the state of being realized as important as realizing the state of being?" --Thrustweasel of Earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shootist Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 You KNOW I can't read a top ten list without havin' something to add... How 'bout these fer blades? 1: That hog sticker some dude pulled on me in Dallas last year. 2: Jethro Bodine's double agent Knife-in-a-boot. 3: My Uncle Fudd's Barlow 4: My Aunt Myrtle's Toe picker. 5: Ginsu Knives 6: Official 'size and shape' swords from the Home Shopping Channel. 7: My close personal friend Nunzio "The Knife" 8: There's a tie between the wonderful cuttlery from Popiel and Ronco. 9: The blade you're given to carve someone else's Thanksgiving Turkey. 10: The Knives at popular steak joints. ------------------ Don't do things like wear stinkey green tennis shoes, they may get a lot of attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love...Ack...Phhht!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Ronco? Ginsu? Home Shopping Channel? Arr. To the forge with ye, and fire up the coals! Never let me hear ye use the words 'stainless' and 'steel' that close together again...! ------------------ "Is the state of being realized as important as realizing the state of being?" --Thrustweasel of Earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Master's Apprentice Posted May 1, 2000 Share Posted May 1, 2000 God help us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted May 2, 2000 Share Posted May 2, 2000 Oh, he does! That's why he's in my next list... Little Jimmy's Top Ten Heroes 1: God. The Man. Not just a tough act to follow...there simply are no following acts. Really, really nice benevolent teacher-type universal sentience with rays of light and stuff. Tops. 2: Teddy Roosevelt. He was a high-bred, snot-nose milktoast who went out west and made himself into a man. Then he made himself into a president. Also responsible for reserving much national parkland before it disappeared. 3: Albert Einstein. A very smart man, with a heart and wisdom to match. Anyone who could come up with E=MC2 was clearly a unique intellect among giants. 4: Joan of Arc. Never, ever lose faith. Ever. Thanks, Joan... 5: J.R.R. Tolkien. I'm sure we're all familiar with the good professor's works, so... 6: Siddartha Gautama. A mystic from ancient India who originated key insights into the nature of consciousness and other spiritual matters. 7: Pete Townshend. Guitarist/songwriter for The Who and later solo artist. Faced heavy challenges with addiction, but won. 8: Carl Sagan. Scientist/philosopher who had a big influence in the evolving space program. I actually met him at a nuclear winter lecture in Denver... 9: Hunter S. Thompson. Anyone who's familiar with this guy's gonzo writing may see his influence in my online silliness. 10: Squinky the Clown. Because we all have to have fun. Honk! Honk! ------------------ "Is the state of being realized as important as realizing the state of being?" --Thrustweasel of Earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Evil Spock Posted May 2, 2000 Share Posted May 2, 2000 Evil Spock's Top Ten heroes 1: Aleister Crowley. 2: Joseph Stalin. 3: Janet Reno. 4: Adolph Hitler. 5: Saddam Hussein. 6: That guy in the computer commercials. 7: General Tojo. 8: Mr. T. 9: Emperor Nero. 10: Imladil. ------------------ "Beware the bearded one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Corran Horn Posted May 4, 2000 Share Posted May 4, 2000 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Some familier faces... it's great to be here... since i haven't been here for about a million years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Master Posted May 4, 2000 Share Posted May 4, 2000 Hi! I just wanted to have something posted on this topic! Have a nice day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Corran Horn Posted May 5, 2000 Share Posted May 5, 2000 Well... that was real great... i don't like message boards... I'm more into Chat rooms now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted May 5, 2000 Share Posted May 5, 2000 Car Horn!!! Howdy, stranger. Haven't 'seen' you around here in quite awhile. How's the camel? Any luck with the sunken pirate ship? *Sigh* Someday the giant eagles will come, and all of this will come to an end... ------------------ "Is the state of being realized as important as realizing the state of being?" --Thrustweasel of Earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Master Posted May 5, 2000 Share Posted May 5, 2000 About the Chat rooms......... the one for this site is ALWAYS empty! ------------------ When you don't have something to say, just smile. -Captain Picard from Star Trek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Master's Apprentice Posted May 6, 2000 Share Posted May 6, 2000 That gives you time to talk to yourself, Master! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Imladil Posted May 6, 2000 Share Posted May 6, 2000 I've never been to the chat room, myself. I like bulletin boards because you have more of a chance to compose what you are going to say, and time to 'tweak' it. I went into a chat room once at another site, and it was cacophony--! There was little chance of carrying on an intelligent conversation.* A BBS, though, gives you time to think about what you're saying. This is a leisure activity, after all. *<font size=1>Not that we have many of those here...</font> ------------------ "Is the state of being realized as important as realizing the state of being?" --Thrustweasel of Earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Master Posted May 6, 2000 Share Posted May 6, 2000 My Apprentice. You should go to the one for this site. It would take your mind off killing people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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