avenger_au Posted May 6, 2002 Share Posted May 6, 2002 To continue my diatribe against Luke: (this is wholesale ripped off from someone else, and has probably been passed around via email one gajillion times - rough estimate) The TRUE ending to "the Empire Strikes Back": A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down. Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father. Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! Darth Vader: No... I am your father! Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible. Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true... Luke: NO! Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours? Luke: Threepio? Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him...when I was 7 years old... Luke: No... Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp... Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star! Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship! Luke: Well, it's not my fault... Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!" Luke: Shut up... Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights! Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon! Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer...right here baby! Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it. Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine... Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him. Darth Vader: Get a haircut! See above post for my preferred choice - Lando. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'akt Sangwar Posted May 6, 2002 Share Posted May 6, 2002 Originally posted by CBrate I tend to agree with Desann about Kyle. Not too impressive and still looks like a bantha herder. i whole heartidly agree thats y i had to spruce him up with those merc skin downloads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damar Stiehl Posted May 6, 2002 Share Posted May 6, 2002 ROFLMAO about the true ending of the "TESB". That is so perfect. LOL. As for Kyle. He's all right I think, not quite the Nameless One or JC Denton, but all right... IMHO his decision to go back to the Valley after Jan's apparent demise only showed his human falliability and how much his Jedi mindset deteriorated. He looked a bit annoying too until I replaced his skin with the "Dark Kyle" skin - he now wears a darker suit with dark-blue shoulder pad. Looks more suited for his escapades than the nerf-herder outfit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leagle Posted May 6, 2002 Share Posted May 6, 2002 Originally posted by Mr. White old enough to drive, but not old enough to drink, although close lol, other way round. would have made him a little rougher around the edges. He is supposed to be a little insane when it comes to the empire. You murdered all those stormies who surrendered, right? And if ypu read the readme, he's under flak from the NRI for slaughtering Imperials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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