The Informal Organization Of Freelancing Bootykickers

[frealis]

I hereby propose an organization that caters to the wants and desires of those discouraged by the crappiness of most of the current crappy jedi clans, who are so filled with crap that any goals they set out to accomplish will inevitably receive the big red stamp of futility, because they're crappy. My proposal includes essential clan-related qualities necessary for acheivement, amongst which lie integrity, responsibility, commitment, and a sense of accomplishment -things you won't find in clans like the S|S (which prolly stands for something like sneaky siths, but should stand for stupidass siths! i think their motto is something like "fear is our ally"- ahahahaha!). With that said, I'll now outline the organization's enlistment requirements.

 

First on the agenda, members must choose a name comprised of a combination of vulgar words, phrases, or alterations thereof. For example, four letter words, phrases like "You's a HO!", and "BIATCHES, BIZATCHES, and 'ZATCHES" are all acceptable (my personal in-game name is "Outta the way, Biatches!"). Our next requirement illustrates the necessity to provoke opposing or enemy players, as it clouds their senses and thought processes by invoking rash emotions. References to their mothers are quite acceptable and in fact encouraged.

 

General examples include:

"Hey fatty fatty, how you like bein' fat? I like the way that you're fatty mcfat!"

"Who's a ho? Yous a ho!"

"Who's a ho, Who's a ho, Who's a ho... YOU!"

"Yo I heard you is fat, is dis true?".

 

Insults hurled at specific players can be modelled after the following:

(directed at "Darth Coolguy") "Yo I heard dis dude was gay. His name start wid a 'Darth' and it end wid a 'Coolguy'."

 

(directed at Jabar Elrgight) "When it comes to bein' fat, who takes the cake? When it comes to bein' fat, who takes the cake? When it comes to bein' fat, Jabar Elrgight takes the cake! When it comes to bein' fat, Jabar Elrgight takes the cake!".

 

Acceptable retorts:

(you fall into oblivion, and a player by the name of FreezeMachine points this out in a mocking fashion).

FreezeMachine: Ha Ha Ha! Nice fall, buddy.

It's a Ho Wide World: I fell onto your mom!

FreezeMachine: Why don't we get off of moms, I just got off of yours

It's a Ho Wide World: Hell no, I just fell 30,000 feet to land on this ho, you think I'm just gonna get up and leave?

FreezeMachine: ...

 

(you're just gutted by a guy named 1337 J3D1 whose sole strategy depends on backwards+attack)

1337 J3D1: How's my saber taste?

It's the 'Zatch Attack!: Like your mom!

1337 J3D1: ...

 

-note the response of these two players in the examples. they were speechless, obviously emotionally distraught and vulnerable for the next attack.

 

To conclude, membership requirements are pretty lax. All you have to do is claim to be a member, and follow these general guidelines. Hope to see you all out there soon!

 

PS- there is no clan server or any of that crap, like a bunch of guys gathering around the pad on bespin for a circlejerk, nor is there a clan leader or any sort of formal structure. our clan motto is "talk dat smack and don't come back, bizatch, bizatch, bizatch, ho!"