stormtroop Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Dart Vader steeped prodally onto the dusty planet of mos-espa he pushed his cloak aside and sat down on the ships plantform bay.He thought to his self that the place was awful quiet.Suddenly Vader heard a loud gun shot followed by 100s of tusken raiders as they all opened fire Vader swing and side steeped he then grabbed his saber and blocked every single bullet.Then the raiders ran into a near camping site and dissapeared.Just as vader deactivated his saber he sensed a young rebel around the area without any warning vader drew his saber and marched off Vader marched off into a old abbandoed village.A young rebel creeped up behind him he drew his saber and whoosh vader backflipped away.Its been a long time rebel aka.Lucke skywalker.Your going to die this time replied luke.Without any hesistation Vader swung around and just missed luke.The two then engaged in battle both were eager to see there oponent to die blocK Swwwing smassh these were all the sounds from the twos sabers. Then in a desprete attempt Vader used the rest of his powers in a final blow agaist luke and what a sucees it was lukes saber blew and luke fell uncounsious To be contined hope you like the story i was bored again so i wrote my sencond story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kit fisto JK Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 im half asleep so I will tell you tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle d'Tana Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 I agree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormtroop Posted July 12, 2002 Author Share Posted July 12, 2002 what so your saying its boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted July 13, 2002 Share Posted July 13, 2002 It would be a good story if Vadar wasn't Lukes father, and if the Raiders didn't shoot bullets, and if the entire Star WArs movies didn't exist. j/k. I am(not bragging here) a good story teller, so let me give you some advice. 1. Watch the movies over and over, and memorize quotes and stuff. Like the people who made that series if Boba would have survived the sarlacc in ROTJ. 2. It's Luke, not Lucke. 3. When a character talks, skip 2 line to clear up confusion. ie: "Like this." Said obi-wan13. "ok." Replyed Stortroop. 4.post more then one paragraph at a time. Like, part one was about the emporer killing somone on the death star, now, we have Darth hitting Luke unconscious. How'd we get there?!?! Don't take non of this offensively, I was just givin some advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormtroop Posted July 13, 2002 Author Share Posted July 13, 2002 o.k and i did mean luke not lucke its just i was typing fast and in my school ive got a limit so i put diffrent samples up at a time.As soon as i get my new internet connection there will be a lot more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormtroop Posted July 16, 2002 Author Share Posted July 16, 2002 wehere is every one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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