Life & Times Of A Journeyman Jedi ....

[Ged]

On your long, and sometimes interesting road to Jedi Mecca you will no doubt come across many different ppl. Some you probably would'nt mind going down the pub for a pint with. Some however !.... (NF Duel)

 

1. The tazmanian jedi ....

 

Spams blue stance spins the whole match. No deviation, just a lightsaber wielding blur. Amusing to observe, & easy to kill .... Funny thing is, you'd think they would cotton onto the fact that their ballerina technique is'nt working, after they've been smeared a dozen or so times.

 

 

2. The bootlicker jedi ....

 

Spends the whole match in the crouch position (Blue stance), performing forward lunges whenever you get in range. More than funny to observe and again easy to kill.

 

 

3. The mousewheel jedi ....

 

Don't get into a saberlock with this specimen, since they've bound the fire command to their mousewheel (Or use a script) .... and will simply spin you to the ground .... usually followed by a heavy overhead.

 

I recently played one of these guys, and in due course got wheelspun and heavy overheaded. Therefore since he cheated, the next time we squared up to each other, i chose to dispense with the bow/nod. & guess what?.... Yep thats right, the guy pissed and moaned about me not returning his bow .... CALLING ME DISHONORABLE . Heh funny system of morals some ppl have

 

Nowadays i also have the saberlock/mousewheel combination handy, and if i think i'm being done over by a mousewheel jedi .... i reply in kind.

 

Bloody silly hollywood move anyhow. Saberlock does nothing for gameplay and requires no real skill to use. If you want cinematic .... go watch a SW film .... preferably the OT (But thats another story

 

 

4. The enigmatic jedi ....

 

This type will spawn, and then walk all the way to where you are waiting to get on with the game. Don't get me wrong i enjoy a bit of 'walking whilst circling each other & taunting', as much as the next chimp .... but in a duel with others waiting in line, taking your time to mince all the way to the start of the fight is bloody inconsiderate (Especially on the Jedi Temple map, since its a bloody long walk from the spawn points). I'm sure these ppl think that they're skillfully building the tension in their opponent .... That the person that they are approaching at snail pace .... is trembling in their flip flops .... & thinking things like - 'My God this dude is walking towards me with a definate air of danger & competence about him. Looks like i'm gonna die at the hands of a TRUE Master now!' .... Whilst what the poor bugger waiting for the drama queen to arrive is really thinking, is more likely to be along the lines of 'For F*"!ks sake !!!! get over here already' .... Also walking up to your opponent at the start of a duel is dangerous because ....... If you don't follow through & win the fight .... you just end up looking a total tit, to all in the room ....

 

Please save the drama for roleplay & cheap tv soap opra's .... With 5 other ppl waiting in line to play (Some of whom actually WORK for a living, & have limited time to devote to online gaming), you don't appear enigmatic and cool .... just a pain in the 'ole' brown star.

 

 

5. The 'Good Fight' only when i win jedi ....

 

Manners cost nothing my dear old mum used to say, but apparantly 'nothing' is more than some ppl are prepared to pay. If you fight and lose to this geezer he'll immediately pop up his =Good FighT= bind, to which you reply in kind .... If however you fight and slice this geezer, to your proffered message of appreciation for the duel .... you'll recieve nothing in return .... zip, zilch, zero, nought ....

 

If the boot fits i suppose, but lose with dignity dammit !

 

 

6. The jedi teacher ....

 

I fully understand the need to welcome new players into the community. To recieve them warmly, and be helpful to them whenever possible, in the hope that they will stay & the community will grow. However do you really think that a Duel server is the place to take the time to teach a new person how to fight?. Last time i noticed other ppl are waiting in line to take their turn to fight in a Duel match. If your teaching someone new how to fight .... Please take them to a FFA, find a quiet corner .... & teach them the finer arts of glowstick bashing there .... & not in a duel match where others are waiting their turn. Tis basic manners and common sense methinks.

 

7. The Brave Behind My Computer Jedi .... (Aka THE OWNER)

 

Gotta watch this guy .... or before you know it he'll have sold you a second hand car & life insurance to yer little old Grandma. This particular brand of pond scum is my personal favourite, and the most satisfying to kill .... Foul language & tomfoolery abound here. He starts off his unique display of talent by waiting for you to bow/nod, before launching an immediate heavy DFA whilst you still have your old noggin aimed at the floor. After this Uber tactic has failed he will everystancespecialmove his way along for a while .... Next he'll bring up his chat box (Momentarily halting the business at hand), and ask for your HP. So if your of a mind, you'll tell him .... to which he replies not with his own HP score, but with a LoL, LOL, LoOoL, LOLOLOLOLOLNoOoBOLOLOLOLOLOL, or variants thereof .... After this he'll once more everystancespecialmove his way around the map, before once more bringing up his chat box. This time it'll be something along the lines of an enquiry as to where you come from, what you do for a living etc. Woe betide those who decide to answer his seemingly innocent enquiry, cos whilst your typing, 'ole' pond scum will have DFA'd you good and proper. Followed up by an immediate 'NOOB, LAMER, OWNAGE, OwNeD etc' comment, from the guy who has no understanding or appreciation of the word 'Irony' wotsoevah !.... Also you will find that as soon as they lose, or after you yourself have sliced and diced this personage, they'll bugger off in short order. To the general appreciation and relief of all concerned.

 

Heh .... Don't ya just love what online gaming has done for the nerds of the world ? .... I mean they get to do things that in real life, away from their monitor & keyboard they'd get swatted for .... like the insects that they are. Poor old billy no mates, who got bullied at school & wears his sisters underwear .... is in his element on the net, where he's safe from the avenging fists & superior intellects of his betters .... (Please note: This particular player is not unique to JO, you will find em in every single online game

 

Ho-Hum Cheers ....

[Psionic Jedi]

Lol, why aren't people replying here? This is hillarious >D

 

I'd say this generally sums up the residents of JK2 servers. Occasionally, you'd find a rare one that isn't any of these detestable species, but as said it is still pretty rare.

 

Why, just an hour ago I met up with a player that tapped the hell out of his WASD keys and managed to confuse me with his whirlwind of moving feet, all the while holding down the primary on blue stance. There's a Tasmanian Jedi for you.

 

Hillarious, Ged.