Another Top 10 List Topic!

[Jatt13]

yeah, yeah, i know we've had lot of these, but this one is different. in this one, i'm gonna post some top 10 lists and you're gonna laugh. and that's that's. oh, feel free to post some yourself. (and you really don't have to laugh )

 

Top Ten Things Not To Say To A Cop When Your Pulled Over

 

10. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

9. Wanta race to the station, Sparky?

8. I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

7. On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

6. You'll never get those cuffs on me... You wimp!

5. Come on write the ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

4. Hey wasn't your daughter a pork queen?

3. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

2. Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

1. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunk'in Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!

 

 

Top Ten Foods That Should Have Their Own Food Group

 

10. Cotton Candy

9. Gummi Bears

8. Egg rolls

7. Reese's Pieces

6. Rice Crispy Treats

5. Tater Tots

4. Fruity Pebbles

3. Head cheese

2. Suzi Q's

1. Cheetos

 

 

The Top Ten Electives Most Often Taken By Indiana University Students

 

10. Corn Husking 161

9. Corn Husking 271 (for those students who took A.P. corn husking in High School)

8. Corn Flow 385 (a look at how falling corn can be used to generate corn pickers)

7. Fluid motion of creamed corn 221

6. Thermal Conductivity 281 (a look at how boiling corn transfers heat)

5. Aero Corn Study 546 (a brief overview of the possibilitys of growing corn in space)

4. History 321 (from Indian tool to modern day's tasty dish, a look at the history of corn)

3. Abstract Art 765 (for final exam, students must jump naked into a vat of corn then roll around on a piece of canvas)

2. Corn Law 231(a look at the rights of corn under our legal system)

1. Giants of History 421 (an overview of the life of John Deere and Orville Redenbacher)

 

 

Top Ten Ways To Get Thrown Out Of The Chemistry Lab

 

10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.

9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."

7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."

6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"

5. Deny the existence of chemicals.

4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.

3. Casually walk to the front of the room and e in a beaker.

2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid

1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.

 

 

Top Ten Ways To Get Fired

 

10. Day one: Start an official sounding rumor about your boss being considered for a big promotion. Day two: Spread a rumor that the promotion involves your boss heading up a new facility in Bosnia.

 

9. Whenever a co-worker asks if you want coffee, say, "No thanks, it doesn't mix well with thorazine."

 

8. Attach 10 or so bottles of white-out to the inside of your suit jacket. Every time you pass a co-worker, surreptitiously open your jacket and whisper, 'I got white-out here; three bucks a pop; good quality stuff; who needs white-out?'

 

7. Bring several large mason jars to work and fill them part way with water and yellow food coloring; display them conspicuously around your work space. Tell anyone who asks about them that you are just taking part in an efficiency study that your boss came up with to cut down on the time employees spend away from their desks.

 

6. Tell your boss that you intend to spread out your vacation time by taking off one minute out of every 25. Spend all your time 'planning' your vacations.

 

5. Secretly replace the coffee your boss usually drinks with new Folger's Crystals.

 

4. Keep a tally of what your boss wears on 'casual' Friday. When you see a pattern develop, distribute the tally to co-workers and start a weekly pool.

 

3. Dress like a pirate for the office halloween party. Dress like a pirate every other day of the year as well.

 

2. Sign up your boss as a volunteer for Junior Achievement, Save The Children Foundation, Keep America Beautiful, the local branch of the Seventh Day Adventist Church, UNICEF, Hands Across America, Points of Light Foundation, and the kicker, AARP.

 

1. Set everyone's desk and PC clock ahead one hour and go home early.

 

 

Top Ten Things To Do While Giving Blood

 

10. Watch the bag fill.

9. Hyperventilate.

8. Pull the tube out of the bag and drink from it.

7. Race to see who fills their bag first (requires 2 or more people).

6. Puncture the bag near the top and see whether they pull the needle out of your arm before the blood squirts out.

5. While they're not looking, substitute a bag of orange liquid and complain they gave you too much Tang.

4. Insist that you want to give 2 pints.

3. Faint.

2. Tell them you saw the bag twitch.

1. Yell, "Hey, you used that needle on the last guy!"

 

and yes, i did get these off another site, so don't do to me what you did to rhett in his staw wars/trek list.