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Quanon, I've also had some experience with depression. Though not entirely direct, I know what it's like when you hit a large pothole in your life. It's just horrible to see people kill themselves when something horrid snags them in life, or to see them in such pain, it's just ... I don't know how to describe it. I wish you the very best in the hospital, as we all have suffered loss. I hope you make a full and swift recovery, as we will all be here in open arms to welcome you back. You are forever in our hearts.
Best wishes.