April 1st 2026.
4/1/2026, San Rafael, CA. PRESS RELEASE.
Star Wars® Knights of the Old Republic® II: The Sith Lords? long awaited first patch was officially released today without much fanfare, mainly because the game is already in it's 10th incarnation, Star Wars® Knights of the Old Republic® X: The Search for the First Patch, was released 4 months ago. Amazingly this astonishing turn of events occurred due to a QA technician by the name of Joe Schmoe at Lucasarts found the patch canadite in an old email from 2005.
'We were doing some server updates and installing the new AMD/Intel PentAthlon X processors in our systems when I noticed this very old email from Obsidian Entertainment. It contained a list of bug fixes and was suppose to be tested by me in March 2005. Amazingly at the time I ignored the email and went back to playing God of War. Well finding the patch at this time, I ran it through some quick testing (the company would only allow 1 hour of testing but hey, it's better than nothing) and let me say, that it took some serious emulation to get it working on a modern system. I mean I haven't seen a XP system in about 18 years! Well here you are, enjoy!'
As of this writing, Joe Schmoe as been liquidated for utter stupidity and costing the company 1 hour of productivity. Be assurred Lucasarts Transglobal cares about it's subjects, umm customers.