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Posts posted by Litofsky

  1. This is getting out of hand, gentlemen. We all know that the only one allowed to make birthday threads is Sabre. I have a feeling that he is sharpening his flaying materials as we speak, preparing for the next offender.


    Although, if he's mind-controlling you, that's acceptable, too.




    Happy Birthday, Good Sir Astor! May it be filled with lovely times and happy endings. a


    I got you Old Boney.


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  2. Happy belated birthday!


    Because Mimi would no doubt remind me that I missed a birthday, I'd like to clarify that I ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL of Jae to make this thread.


    We hail our almighty Harbinger. *bows down to Sabre's feet*

  3. Nice find. Personal favorite part:


    Kurtz also explains how Return Of The Jedi would have ended originally, in the outline that Lucas and he had come up with before Lucas decided to change everything to make it more of an upbeat toy-selling vehicle. Luke and Leia would have rescued Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt, but then Han would have died halfway through the film, during a raid on an Imperial base. (This is something that Harrison Ford has mentioned before as well.) The film would have ended with the rebel forces in tatters, Leia struggling with her new duties as queen, and Luke walking off into the sunset alone, like Clint Eastwood at the end of a spaghetti Western. It would have been a more nuanced, muted ending to the saga, instead of the Ewoks dancing in the forest like a "teddy-bear luau." (Not sure if that phrase is from the Times' Geoff Boucher or Kurtz, but it's hilarious.)


    Personally, I wonder how that would have affected many childhoods (my own included): Star Wars was one of the first major sagas that I saw that depicted Good vs. Evil, and the inevitable triumph of Good. With truth, I'm not sure if Star Wars would have been viewed in the same light at all if the ending had been different.


    I doubt that Lucas would have completely caved to an ending that... somber, but it would be interesting to have an ending different than "It's a trap!" and "Fuzzy teddy bear to the rescue!"

  4. [Halo] ODST was an epic failure...


    ...did you just insult that one game in the series that had Mal, Jayne and Wash Fillion, Baldwin, and Tudyk in it?


    Admittedly, most of the Halo games were a redone idea with fancy new graphics. "Ohgawdohgawd, aliens are attacking humanity and we're losing. Who will ever save us? I know, let us ask the Machine God superman-in-armor." On a side note, however, I rather enjoyed the music pieces accompanying the series.

  5. Dan Brown for the Robert Langdon series and Edgar Allan Poe. I have a 4 volume set of his complete works its like 103 years old.


    Dan Brown for the Robert Langdon series and Edgar Allan Poe.


    Dan Brown for the Robert Langdon series


    Dan Brown


    Let the fireworks ensue.


    My personal favorite authors are still unknown. Much reading has yet to be done, and it's been a while since I've found a book that was truly enjoyable. *waits to steal recommendations from this thread*

  6. Modern_Warfare_2_cover.PNG


    Modern Warfare II


    [rant]It is an utter piece of crap whose only saving grace is the love of slaughtering bad guys by thousands of children and the absurd amounts of money it makes from said quality.


    Let us begin with the asinine string of vocalizations that the stupid-as-hell writers came up with:


    Stage One: America is fighting at a random city in Afghanistan, secures a bridge, blows up terrorists, kicks some ass, saves the day. Yee-haw. Next, a general flies down to the battlefield's outskirts and commandeers a soldier for CIA black-ops.


    Still with me so far?


    Stage Two: Said soldier is inducted into a Russian terrorist organization-- the direct descendant of the "Ultranationalist" party from the previous game-- now freely conducts acts of terrorism throughout the European continent. Next up: walk through Moscow Airport with machine guns (...) and slaughter everyone in the way. Yee-haw, blood'n'guts!


    Now, before the player can escape with our glorious band of terrorists, the leader shoots you in the chest, revealing that he knew you were an American CIA blah blah blah; you die, and the world blames America (wait, how was that discovered again?).


    Stage Three: Russia invades America.


    Yes, no worries, I'll say it again.


    Russia invades America.


    If you need me to explain why this is so freaking ridiculous, you probably liked the plot of the game.


    Stage Three: America defeats Russia (no, really?). Blah blah blah, the plot is revealed to be the doing of the same American general from the beginning of the game. Why did he orchestrate the massacre of millions of his countrymen, the gutting of American influence throughout the world, and the destruction of what can decently be called world order?


    He wanted a mandatory draft for every American citizen.


    [/end rant]


    Don't get me wrong, I love to fake-slaughter terrorists as much as the next guy, but when it comes in the form of a banal, idiotic suppository I cannot stand to see it glorified the way it is.

  7. After reading over his positions, I voted no. I like how he compares Terrorism to Immigration:


    We are in a war. We are in a war with extreme Islam in the next chapter of Jihad and we are in a war with illegal immigrants and drug cartels pouring into this country creating economic and criminal hardship.


    Gentlemen of the West United States, I bid you stand fight! On a more serious note, there's a difference between the people coming to the United States to find legitimate work and those here to spread drugs. From what I read, Mr. Ward treats illegal immigrants with a blanket disapproval (unless they immigrated here legally, which we all know is a very simple matter).


    Immigration aside, the rest of his positions seem to be those of a typical Republican (i.e., 'Maintain spending six hundred billion dollars a year on defense,' etc). The only time he wins points is in denying any relationship with Jar Jar Binks. :p

  8. Okay.




    Well, then.




    But I digress:




    When I originally stumbled upon this unknown thread, I instantly knew that Sabre deserved a gift whose sheer glory matched the Magnitude of the Gods™.




    Thusly, and with great haste, it was to the Sanctuary de Wikipedia that my cursor fled!





    Firstly, le Mind de Litof instantly jumped to the glory of FLAMES. FIRE would be the only image glorious enough. But, alas! no image was to be found! The Archives de Wikipedia had failed me!





    Secondly, le Mind de Litof thought of the glory of LIGHTNING devouring the night sky. Through the Archives de Wikipedia I searched, tirelessly for minutes upon minutes!





    Finally, le GLORIOUS SEARCH had reached it GLORIOUS CONCLUSION. It was in the bowels of the Archives that I found an image suitable to this day:






    L'Eruption de Galunggung





    Oh, right. *Ahem* Happy Birthday, Sabre!

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