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Well, I think it's great that you took something away from it, how ever horrible it must have been. Not many people do that. They either get bogged down in what has happened, or don't care. I can't say my cat was the only pet I've ever taken to, but he was there my whole life, and when he died, that was a shock. I was only about eleven, and didn't really expect it, and thankfully it was by natural causes.
Though I do understand, it leaves an emptiness, or a blank space where it once was, and pets are excellent listeners and very loyal lol I don't take these sorts of things too well, either, but I figure I'm allowed to, since I've dealt with everything else.