Darth_Yuthura

Thanks. I did change about 4 paragraphs of it, which you had shortened and sounded better, however, one or two of the adjustments weren't saying what I intended it to sound like, so I made my own adjustments to the original. I don't think the story is going to be absolutely perfect, but a few minor changes will make it that much better.

Thanks again! You can continue the proof reading if you wish.