Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 25, 2000 Share Posted June 25, 2000 By the way, time for Top 10 signs you suck as a pilot: Me -> Sucky Pilot -> 10. You use a keyboard/Sega Genesis style gamepad to play. 9. You finally found out what 'target' means. 8. You get vaped by a Pinook when youre in a Tie Defender. just because the TIE Defender's engines didnt want to start when someone like you were in it. 7. You fail numerous missions because you were insecure enough to let a stray Imp Pilot punch your window in and beat you up. 6. You can't beat the first mission in XWA simply because you suck so much even Emkay got tired of you and threw you out the <strikeout>window</strikeout> airlock. (You didnt deserve the window look the window costs money)Airlock -> 5. If #7 applied to you, the Imp Pilot was a birth defect 3-year old . 4. One day you tried to prove yourself by trying to destroy a container. Unfortunately, your craft was destroyed in the explosion. 3. If #4 applied to you, the container blew up because of some...ah..faulty wires , not because you blasted it. 2. If you read down this far. 1. If you read down this far, in insecurity, shocked that everything applied to you. Oh and by the way one day you tried to look out the window of your coin op Tie fighter ride(the only spacecraft youre trusted with) and guess what you didnt get to because the Imperials confiscated it in the disqualification of you even remotely as a pilot. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 25, 2000 Share Posted June 25, 2000 By the way my zone name is Coolio213 Hey IO_Trent Sup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 25, 2000 Share Posted June 25, 2000 By the way my zone name is Coolio213 Hey IO_Trent Sup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hit4Cycle Posted June 26, 2000 Share Posted June 26, 2000 Hahahaha very cute list. Oh and welcome to the dreaded double post ------------------ "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge." -Darth Maul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 26, 2000 Share Posted June 26, 2000 Thanks man this was some of my best jokes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cloud Posted June 27, 2000 Share Posted June 27, 2000 the only thing I suffer from is number 10. Which I suffer in Multiplayer as I don't have the accuarcy that much to be able to shoot down enemies. Since if you push the direction pad it always go way over the target, because of this(get this) I can almost never fly straight, thats right you heard me. Because of that a moving target is always easier to hit for me (up close of course) than a going straight one. I'm surprized I beat it with a gamepad (especially after dodging pipes to make my Lando style deathstar movie), but I guess I have to get a joystick soon to be able to beat a human pilot.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K_Kinnison Posted June 27, 2000 Share Posted June 27, 2000 Top 10 signs that you are a newbie Pilot 10. YOu still think gamepad, keyboard, or mosue will do bettter then a joystick 9. You dont know how to use a throttle 8. you think by flying at 1/3 throttle all the time will get make you harder to kill 7. YOu fly with shields at maitanace or chargeing 6. single fire is the only way you can hit something 5. You don't know how to shake that pilot off your six 4. Ramming is the only way you can get kills 3. If you end up with a negitive score 2. You think your A-wing can beat anything, including a slow B-wing 1. YOu think the other player cheats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 27, 2000 Share Posted June 27, 2000 Hehe very nice follow up I liked that. BUt these days joysticks come cheap. You can get a 2-buton one (which is adequate for XWA) for like $6 or less. At a pawn shop you could trade in that collectible gamepad for like $15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jmillheiser Posted June 27, 2000 Share Posted June 27, 2000 i dont think any of that applies to me. except that im a dogfighter so i prefer something like a bwing that can take abuse since i always take a few hits. i hate t/i furballs i cant fly like that i need to stick to someones tail not just fly around like a nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Beastie Posted June 27, 2000 Share Posted June 27, 2000 Originally posted by K_Kinnison: Top 10 signs that you are a newbie Pilot 7. YOu fly with shields at maitanace or chargeing Hey! Flying with shields at maintenance is a good thing! 2. You think your A-wing can beat anything, including a slow B-wing It can, if it's my A-Wing. ------------------ What doesn't kill me only makes me stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 28, 2000 Share Posted June 28, 2000 By the way imma ZGS pilot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Marril Posted June 28, 2000 Share Posted June 28, 2000 Originally posted by K_Kinnison: 4. Ramming is the only way you can get kills If it's on ZG/S, then it's the most efficient way to get a kill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME_Jeldren Posted June 28, 2000 Share Posted June 28, 2000 7. YOu fly with shields at maitanace or chargeing Depends on the craft. I often charge anything when I fly a Y-Wing. You get more time in the head on pass when you do this. 3. If you end up with a negitive score I am sure neary everyone ends up with a negative score sometimes. Bad connections can turn you quickly into a target drone. The worst score I have seen was a -10000 when I fought a fully armed T/D. I simply massacred him in my B-Wing. 2. You think your A-wing can beat anything, including a slow B-wing Well it is not easy to beat a B with an A-Wing but it is not impossible. I've killed a B-Wing piloted by a Jedi 1st with a pinook. 1. YOu think the other player cheats This is true player who are not familar with ghosts sometimes think their opponent is cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DarthHulkster Posted June 29, 2000 Share Posted June 29, 2000 Top 10 list for people who have no clue what the hell they are doing. (oh by the way, this included me when I got TIE Fighter years ago, now i've improved. 10.Fly straight and maybe you'll be lucky and find the Death Star. 9.See a corellian transport and think it is Han and Chewie and you try to open your cockpit hatch but it's jammed so you crap your pants and wait for the worst. 8.Your instructor tells you to do nothing so actually do something right until he he tells you to do something but you just sit there because he didn't tell to stop stop doing nothing. 7.Your attacked at by a starship so you go fly and hide behind a container. 6.You go fly behind a starship thinking it won't shoot at you but you think engine wash is actually washing your ship but u think they're doing a crappy job because it says you're taking damage. 5.You don't know what that box in front of the screen is that has picture of other craft on it. 4.You fail a mission but you keep going when you think you completed the mission but then you get back in the hangar and debriefing and realize you wasted your time *The next three are for TIE Fighter* 3.You destroy Admiral Thrawn's ship. 2.You try to kill Vader but he kills you. 1.You kill the Emperor and you think you've saved the galaxy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mr. Johnson Posted June 30, 2000 Share Posted June 30, 2000 By the way, here are top ten signs you REAALY FREAKIN SUCK 10. They only thing that youre truseted with flying NOW, is...the X-Wing Alliance flight combat simlulator. of course they didnt include any shipsets in it for your version because they think you might get ideas and masturbate. 9. You turn it on 1600x1200 software mode. Kinda makes you feel like your using a 1980s computer, huh? Kinda makes you feel nostalgic? yeah, me neither. 8. A container killed you when you were in the hangar. You so damn sucked that you didnt even see the 1,000 ton container roll right onto your fighter (a cheapp little paper version of a Pinook with your fart gas as propulsion 7. You know the guy in Return of the jedi and Independence Day who keeps crashing their fighter into a shield? Well, youre the pilot who managed to crash his own Pinook 50cent ride. (and it can even move) 6. You fart so much in the cockpit, that you open the windows, kill yourself, and not to mention stink up the battlefield. 5. You suck so much you managed to get yourself inbetween the Death Start 2 laser emitter and its target. Ouch. (I;ve never seen anyone with such suckiness b4) 4. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that in #6 you farted because of your fake burritos that you made yourself. 3. Ok, you gave up being a pilot and tried to be a burger flipper, but you suck so much the the burgers flipped you off. 2. Oh great you were the only other pilot who stuck himself in back of an SSD's engine and thought it was washing you. The only difference was that it really washed you ...well into another ship 1. You tried to float you way into a fight with blaster in hand, but guess what the blaster jammed and blew up in your face. Go to -1 for some entertainment. -1. Go to -2 for some entertainment. -2. Go to -1 for some entertainment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KNIGHT_FEDAYKIN Posted July 5, 2000 Share Posted July 5, 2000 1. you dont know what newbie means yet ------------------ He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing OMEGA_TERROR EPSILON_1 OMEGA_NAVY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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