John' Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 (This was on the videogames boards on theforce.net) How The Saga would have gone in SWG Episode-I: Obi Wan: "Hmm, these Neimoidians are taking forever. Is it in their nature to make us wait this long?" Qui Gon: "No, they are probably AFK, or lagging due to the droid population on this ship." Obi Wan: "Could they be bugged?" Qui Gon: "Likely." --------------------------------------------------------------- Darth Maul: "Finally, we will have revenge." Sidious: "Yes, all your grinding on quenkers in the farthest corner of Dantooine without ever getting vis ONCE, has paid off. You will be more than a match for the Jedi." Episode-II: Obi Wan puts a snare on Jango Fett, causing him to stop in midair, while his jetpack flies off and gets disabled. Jango then sends multiple hate /tells to Obi Wan. You tell Obi Wan: "YOU JERK, DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET ALL THE PARTS FROM THE DWB TO CREATE THAT THING?? THE MONEY I SPENT ON THE PARTS I COULDN'T FIND IN LOOT???? OMG, YOU'RE SUCH A BIOTCH, I HATE YOU." Obi Wan Replies: "Shouldn't have had it out, noob." Jango uses /lastditch Jango misses Jango roots Obi Wan and escapes. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Yoda : Trooper, Good job you did, bring me a ship, I request. Trooper : Impossible Yoda : Why? Trooper : Next shuttle boards in 9min 57secs ----------------------------------------------------------- Dooku spots Aniken and Obi-wan comming and turns on his Infusion macro. Obi-Wan "Lets take him together...Set drain as you default attack" Anakin "I can pwn him with Breach!" Obi-Wan "NO ANAKIN BREACH DOESN'T AGAINST DEFENDER" *Anakin gets incapped* *Obi-Wan uses his 4/3/2/4 LS skills and gets owned quickly due to only having 3000 healer* *Yoda Enters* They exchange force powers until... Dooku "It appears we both respeced to powers...What a crappy DPS profession...Now we must measure our skills with a Lightsaber" Yoda "Run out of action you will...For MLS I am not" *They fight until Dooku runs out of action* Dooku tries to DB Obi-Wan and Anakin but moves and screws the timer so he runs. *Dooku Flies to Coroscant* Darth Sideous "You have done well....Now respec back to Defender so we can spam AI to tank their Masters with Force Armor...I will transfer you force" Dooku "What if a BH comes? Then i'll be locked in a TEF and you can't transfer?!!1" Sideous "Pick up channel force and make sure to craft your 4th gen saber while your still MLS" Dooku "My pearls are almost all gone! Sideous "Here put this Anti Decay kit on it" *Gives Dooku Anti Decay* *Dooku puts it on his saber and his pearls are saved* Episode-III Anakin, a master pilot, with his wingman, Obi Wan, a 4/3/3/3 pilot (only so he could fly the jedi starfighter) fly through the space battle. Since Obi Wan isn't a full pilot, and doesn't really know how to use his R2 Droid's programs, he constantly complains about JTL, and says flying is for droids. Meanwhile Anakin has reactor overload 3, engine overload 3, weap cap overload 3, and weapon overload 3 all working, and he owns all that oppose. --------------------------------------------------------------- Obi Wan: "Okay, this time we take him together, instead of you rushing toward him like you did before, when you were CL 38 and he was CL 97." Anakin: "I was just about to say that." Anakin and Obi Wan equip their sabers as Dooku walks in with his CL 1 SBD pets (only for show, no real strength) Dooku: "Okay, I owned you guys before, lets not make too much of a mess in front of the Chancellor" Anakin: "I've grinded on a lot of bol's since we last met, and had a final respec not long ago." Dooku: "Don't assume because you are both CL 80 that you have the advantage." /starts force aura macro and begins to dervish like crazy. --------------------------------------------------------- *Annakin stands poised over Count Dooku, with agraphics glitch showing two Lightsabers on Dooku's head* Palpatine: DB him. Annakin: I shouldn't..... Palpatine: He is too dangerous to allow his Incap timer to run out! hurry there's a warmup now! *Anakin killed Dooku* Anakin: I shouldn't have. It's not the Jedi way. I should have triple-incapped him. ----------------------------------------------------------- Yoda: These nightmares haunt you, yes? Anakin: Yes. Yoda: About pain and suffering, are they? Anakin: Yes...pain, suffering, and soo little xp. Yoda: Little xp? Patience you should have. For impatience leads to angry, angry leads to hate, hate leads to cancellation of your account. Anakin: I know...it pains me to be hunted by BH all day long. Yoda: *cough padawan cough* *hack* your training is not complete. Anakin: What??!! But I have a full template and I...I...I just respec'd to MLS and MDEF...you deny my rights to start the trials? Yoda: Knight, you are not. Decided to reformat the FRS, the Jedi Council has. -------------------------------------------------------------- Palpatine: "My old master, before he left to WoW, found the ability to cheat death." Anakin: "Is it possible to learn this power?" Palpatine: "Not from a Jedi.... pre OR post CU." Anakin: "Then how do you know?" Palpatine: "Well, one time I went to Tatooine, to, ahem.... , while I was there, I stopped in this cave full of squills and talked to a guy standing around at the bottom, he sent me out to find a farmer, a boar, and...." /PlayDuelOftheFatesforNoReason Palpatine: ".... and after all that, I obtained the Hero of Tatooine Ring." Anakin: "I know my profession is a long grind and all.... but even that quest sounds like its just too long." ---------------------------------------------------- Palpatine - "Let me to help you understand the subleties of the Force." Anakin - "How do you know the ways of the Force?" Palpatine - "My best friend unlocked his Jedi and taught me everything. Even how to become a Dark Jedi Knight." ------------------------------------------------------------- Anakin -"You know that?!? But how? The Knight Trials are offline!" Palpatine - "If you are to understand the great mystery, you must study all it's aspects. That means trying out every template, not just those Light Jedi FOTM templates. Be careful of your Light Jedi friends. Only through me will you be able to pwn them when the FRS re-opens. Learn to follow my template, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death." ---------------------------------------------------------------- After spamming to start a group in the Jedi temple, Mace Windu got his little group together, ate some food, got a buff, started his macros, etc. His group members thought "hey, lets use Mace as a tank!" The result: a couple jedi laying on the ground 'Corpse of Kit Fisto' etc. Mace Windu, successfully ripostes Sidious' force lightning back at him, and not only hurts him, but also drains his force. Anakin, waiting til Mace's force was low, then attacks. He also channels some force to Sidious, who is then able to start using his force lightning again, then DB's Mace Windu. Then Anakin is like "DOH!" and realizes that the JC (Jedi Council Guild) will kick him. Sidious offers him to join him in his little two man guild, since Dooku was DB'd earlier so easily, due to too much lag on such a huge multipassenger ship, and his aura macro stalled. ------------------------------------------------- Palpatine - "To cheat death is a power that thousands of Defenders have achieved. I'm not talking about that though. /avoidIncap Other is a power that only a dev has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret." Anakin - "I pledge myself to your teachings. I want your template, and /findmytrainer is bugged for me." Sidious: You can become my apprentice, but you have too many Light Side faction points right now. In order to join me, you need to go kill all the Jedi in the temple. That should give you enough Dark Side faction to be able to join me. Sidious: You might have to camp the spot a few days tho...and be sure to loot them. They drop +2 and +3 CAs and AAs alot..some of them are jedi tapes too. We will need the creds to build my death star. ---------------------------------------------------------- Ki-Adi Mundi, looking at his skill window, noticed that the CU nerfed MLS. Ki-Adi Mundi: /think "Hmm, only 5+ block in the master box??? Oh well, I'm still uber!!" *Suddenly, his faction pet Clone Troopers turn into red dots* Ki-Adi Mundi: "Come on!! Ki-Adi Mundi: Hey, isn't that my command for you guys to follow?" *He stops to check his pet commands, then looks back, realizing they are now CL 80 red dots, and about to agro him* Ki-Adi Mundi: "WTH??" *With such a nerf on his block, he only blocks one shot, and is taken down easily.* Ki-Adi Mundi tells Clone Commander: "I'VE HAD IT, SOE SUCKS!!" Clone Trooper replies: /bow "ROFL!!!" ------------------------------------------------------------ *Yoda hits Palpatine 1005 points of damage* *Palpatine hits Yoda 2035 points of damage* *Yoda has been incappasitated* Palpatine tells Yoda: "ROFL" *Yoda's incap timer runs out, he gets up and bails.... to meet up with Bail.* Yoda: "Failed I have, lost 2.7 million xp I did." Bail: "Since Palpatine declared himself Emperor, he created the vis rule, codenamed: Order 66. If any Jedi use force or lightsaber skills in front of other people, they will automatically be on these things called BH terms. You will be hunted." Yoda: "Sucks, that does. However, droids on Dagobah usable, they are not. Into exile, I must go." Bail: "They say after 3 weeks, you should be okay." Yoda: "Safe to be, 20 years, I will wait." --------------------------------------------------- Obi Wan: "Its over Anakin, just /endduel already, I have the high ground." Anakin: "My lack of terrain negotiation means nothing. You underestimate my template!" Obi Wan: "Don't try it." Anakin: /jump Obi Wan then owns Anakin, since /jump is nothing but an animation, and does nothing. Lying on the ground, an incapped Anakin Skywalker, with 100% wound damage. /tell Obi Wan: "I HATE YOU! ALL YOU EVER DID PRE-CU WAS STEAL MY KILLS WHEN WE GRINDED TOGETHER!!!" Obi Wan: /cry *cries on his shoulder* "You were the chosen one! You were supposed to bring balance, not nerf non-Sith Jedi!" ---------------------------------------------------- Darth Vader: "Where is Padme?" Darth Sidious: "It would seem that you were a red dot to her, agro'd her, and used force choak and DB'd her." Darth Vader: "What?! I just incapped her, I FELT IT!" Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" ---------------------------------------------------------------- Yoda: "During your time on Tattooine, more training I have for you Obi Wan." Obi Wan: "Training? No, my trainer is a scout trainer on Talus, and besides, I have no more skill points, and I like my template." Yoda: "Nevermind that, you will. An old friend of ours, from death, has learned to contact me. Teach this to you, I will." Obi Wan: "Who?" Yoda: "Your old Master." Obi Wan: "Qui Gon!!" Yoda: "Yes, but now, EQ he plays, after cancelling his account. How to send /tell's to him, I will teach you." ------------------------------------------- Episode-IV In the opening scenes of Episode IV, a group of imps, in their ST faction army, boarded the Tantive IV, mistaking it for the Corellian Corvette. Darth Vader (holding a CL 30 reb by his neck, in the air): "Where is the loot we came for, what have you done with the power cores!?!" Token Reb Guy: "We have no loot *choke* at least nothing worth anything to someone as high a CL as you. We are on our way to help a cowardly trandoshan." Darth Vader: "If this is a multiplayer ship, where is the loot container!!??" Token Reb Guy: *gag* /die ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Luke and C-3PO, on the quest to locate R2-D2 and Obi Wan Kenobi. Luke: /prone "Well, I see two tusken banthas down there but.... wait a second, theres sandpeople, one spawned just now." Second Tusken Raider spawns right in front of Luke and agros. C-3P0: /feigndeath Luke: *dodge* *dodge* *incapped* --------------------------------------------------------------------- Leia Hologram: "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." Obi Wan accepts the quest. Quest Recieved: < Alderaan : Contact Bail Organna > Obi Wan: "You will have to learn the ways of the force, if you are to come with me to Alderaan." Luke: "Alderaan? Was there a new expansion I missed? Anyway, I'm not going to Alderaan, its late, and I'm CL 12 as it is." Obi Wan: "I can't do this alone, I'm still not used to CU. I need your help. SHE needs your help. She only has 0/4/0/0 marksman and master politician." Luke: /pause "I can't get involved, its not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but theres nothing I can do about it now.... I only have 0 reb faction." Obi Wan: "Fine, go survey by your house with your Chef Aunt and Artisan Uncle. You must do what you feel is right of course." --------------------------------------------------------------- Han Solo: "Chewie here tells me you need transport to Alderaan." Obi Wan: "Yes, if its a fast ship." Han Solo: "Fast ship? You've never heard of the (Millenium Falcon)" Obi Wan: "No, I'm not into JTL." Han Solo: "It has an engine with top speed 120 in it. With two people on turrets, I've solo'd the corvette in less than 12 parsecs. Whats the cargo?" Obi Wan: "Only passengers, myself, the noob, two droids, and no spamming please." Han Solo: "Oooh, that last ones gonna cost ya. 10k, all in advance." Luke: "10k??? We could buy our own ship for that." Han Solo: /groan "Yeah sure, maybe a Z-95, and you'd only be able to bring the R2 droid with you. NOOB!" Obi Wan: "We can give you 2k now, plus 15k when we get to Alderaan." Han Solo: "17k huh? You guys got yourselves a ship, meet inside the starport." Obi Wan: "Okay Luke, sell your X-31, then lets go do 3 dewback missions, I'll tank for you." ------------------------------------------------------------- Governor Tarkin: "The Jedi are extinct. You my friend are all that remains of their religion." Vader: "You don't get out much, do you?" --------------------------------------------------- Vader: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The 30 second timer to become special forces is now complete. Vader: When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master. Ben: Only a master of killing Bounty hunters for force rank, Darth. Vader: Your powers are weak, old man. You should of taken 4/4/0/0 in powers instead of master healer noob. Ben: You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall clone and come back with 3 bounty hunters to pwn you. Vader: Your powers are weak old man Kenobi: Well duh I've been stuck on tatooine with nuting but CL 5 womp rats to kill Vader: Really? Kenobi: Yup , had nuting better to do since I lost all my jedi points in that last respec Vader: Have You got Aura on? been hacking at you for 5mins now..... Kenobi: Nope , check your cristals friend Vader: Arrr yes , got a spare premium u can lend? Kenobi: Yea sure take this pre-cu one Vader: Noob , I aint paying ya for it. *Vader tunes cristal* Vader: WTH! , 20 max damage and a -1fc! , what sorta prem u givin meh? Kenbobi: My action and force is almost out! hurry , Luke is watching. Vader: The low level paddy? Kenobi: Yup Vader: Gah sod it *pulls out advanced lazer rifel* Kenobi: Strike me dow..... *BANG BANG* Vader: Another Jedi bites the dust */dance* *Darth Vader pulls the corpse of Obi-won to the dance floor* ------------------------------------------------------------------- Episode-V Darth Vader: /kneel "What is thy bidding, my Master?" Emperor: "We have a new enemy: Luke Skywalker." Darth Vader: "How is that possible?" Emperor: "Search your feelings, Lord Vader. He grinded between Anchorhead and Wayfar exclusively, so you likely never seen him around much. Anyway, he could own us." Darth Vader: "He is just a noob, no higher than CL 54 by now. Also, Obi Wan can no longer help him, since I DB'd him back when permadeath was still active." Emperor: "The son of Skywalker must NOT become a Jedi." Darth Vader: "If he could be turned, he could become a powerful guildie." Emperor: "Yessss, yess. Can it be done?" Darth Vader: "He will join us, or I will /tell all the BH in my friendlist to look on the terms for his name." /bow ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Sitting inside a small mud hut on the desolate planet of Degobah, Luke Skywalker attempts to persuade Jedi Master Yoda to instruct him in the ways of the Jedi... Luke: "But Yoda, I am not afraid... I am not, Obi Wan, tell him I'm not afraid." Blue Glowie Obi Wan: "He's right. He has a safe grinding spot on Dant and a house deed in his inventory, and I still have my X-34 speeder just in case he needs a ride. He's not afraid." Yoda: "You will be! Whine those BH's will... Nerfed your Safe house will be. Nerf, Obi Wan's speeder they will. Vader is a powerful Foe... great in the L33t PwnzerS is he!" ------------------------------------------------------------ Darth Vader Tells luke: I am your Father ! Luke Skywalker replies : Auto AFK Message: Im currently Away from the keyboard. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ /tell ben Ben! Ben is not online Leia! /tell leia LEIA! Luke. /findfriend Luke We have to go back, Luke's WP is the other way. Are you crazy? That place has a huge spawn of Stormtroopers and we are all combatants! /wookieroar;/duel lando All right, all right! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode-VI Luke: *Control + I ... double left click Black Hooded Cloak (hood down)* Luke: You will bring Captain Solo and the wookiee to me Jabba: hahaha .. NOOB!! C3PO: Master *waving his arms* that spot is bugged Luke: Bah .. I can't move .. what the ?? /unstick *Unstick in Progress* ... waiting ... *Unstick Complete* *Loading* *Appears in Jabba's Dungeon* Gamoorian Guard: Ah hell .. how'd I get here?? Luke: Did you do /unstick also? Gamorrian Guard: Yeah .. stupid Bug Rancor: RRROOAAARR!!! *CL 81* Gamorrian Guard: Oh crap .. I'm only CL 34, with Swordsman 0030. Luke: What's your other profession? Gamorrian Guard: Master Dancer, Image Designer 4230. You? Luke: LS 0402, Master Powers, Novice Healer, Enhancer 0002. I'm only CL 75. I still need to grind more Bols, and I don't have any respecs left. ------------------------------------------------------------ Luke Skywalker: /bug I was getting my last mission to complete Jabba's Themepark when for some reason I dropped through the floor. I'm now stuck in a room that has only one door that wont open so I cant get out. In addition there is a Rancor in this room that aggro'd me. Can one of you csr's unstick me please Thanks, Luke Skywalker --------------------------------------------------------- Luke - Im getting tells from Han and Leia lots of overt imp at Cloud City Yoda - Dont go, incomplete is your training, not grinded enough you have. Luke - But they will get pwned. Yoda - If you go now visibiity, you will gain and loose evrything you grinded for you will. Luke - This sux. I want to pvp now. I'll come back and grind later. Besides spawn on Degobah is bugged they need to reset server and there is no mission terminal here. ---------------------------------------------------------- Yoda: "When gone am I, the last of the Jedi you will be.... supposedly." Luke: "Yoda, you can't die." Yoda: "Strong am I in the force, but my bank account and I agree, not happy with game, we are no longer. Cancelled, my account is." Yoda: /logout "Okay, 30 seconds have I. There is.... another.... Sky.... walk.... *disappears* Luke: "Hmm, you would think he could have told me more, he had a whole 30 seconds." /eq2.crushbone.Obi Wan tells you: "Yoda will always be with you." Luke: "Obi Wan! You liar! You told me Vader betrayed and DB'd my Father!!" Obi Wan: "When Anakin got fed up with holo grinding, he deleted his account, then learned of the new jedi system and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your Father, was destroyed. So What I told you was true, from a certain point of view." ---------------------------------------------------------- Leia: Luke, you have a power I don't understand, and could never have. Luke: You're wrong Leia, in time, you will learn that power, as I have, one more phase change and your banked xp will unlock you. Leia: But it's such a long grind, and I'm not rich enough to have two accounts, so I have some merchant for this toon. Besides, my CL is only 65, I'll get owned by every BH that comes after me. Luke: But you didn't log on until 2 weeks after CU, you can finish your template in the next week if you just grind out your novice boxes each day and respec properly. Han: He's right Leia, I just finished my temp. C-3PO: Me too... Chewie: ARrrhgghrr Wicket: Me too(in whatever language they speak) Vader cloaked from a distance: Hmmmm, better get on teamspeak, looks like we got a whole village of full temp jedi coming... Luke: Vader is here, on this very moon. Leia: How can you tell? Luke: I felt his presence. Leia: Ok, my cloak targeting macro just picked him up too, let's chase him. Luke: Hey Leia, /duel me, we might be able to break his cloak. cloaking and back running before speeders Leia?s out take to enough long uncloaks then> Luke: Damn, well he's gotta run out of force eventually, keep following him. Leia: Someone's coming... Luke: Don't worry, it's just a blue dot, not overt. bikes other their for waiting behind Leia leaving shuttleport nearest the ride up picks AB-1 his Palpatine be turns> -------------------------------------------------------------- Appearantly no one from the empire realized that Ewoks were like CL 109, they must have had the con switch clicked off on their radars and just saw a bunch of yellow, non-aggro creatures running around. That and there was a huge spawn break of Ewoks all around the shield generator. --------------------------------------------------------------- Emperor: /rublightsaber "You want this, don't you? I can feel your anger. Strike me down with it and your journey to the dark side will be complete." Luke: .... (LD) .... Darth Vader: "Master, it would appear that he either crashed, or had to leave." ***Luke is online at Thur June 09 02:24:31 2005. If you are on Luke's friendlist, try /findfriend Luke to find them. Luke: "Sorry, was afk too long, I crashed." Emperor: "Okay, as I was saying, strike me down with this lightsaber, you know you want to." Luke: "Okay, hold on a sec." Luke waits another 20 minutes til his 12 hour respec period is up, so he can get Master Defender finally, while watching Lando suffer through the HORRIBLE lag in space, due to all the ships in one spot, plus the Death Star being like, right there in everybody's faces. 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HUGOMAND Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 ROFL those are great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marvidchano Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 lol!!!!!!!! wicked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediConsularAD Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 HA HA that is good, and worryingly so very true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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