[WIP][FIC] (No name yet)

[Bruins86]

this is my 1st attempt at writing anything i have horrible spelling and grammer and for whatever reason my word perfect isnt working so i wrote this in notepad with no grammer and spell check so bare with me lol. it is only the opening sceen just to see if ppl actualy like it and if i should bother cont. it is a little bit of a cliff hangar only cause i dont have the time to finish it right now but i wanted to get it on here. OK i made so corrections it is still not great but it is a hell of alot better lol.

[Bruins86]

"I had the dream agian." said Jeremy

 

"The one with the Jedi agian Jeremy." asked Sasha as she began to get out of bed

 

"Yes but this one was diffrent."

 

"How so?" she asked turning to look at Jeremy

 

"It was dark i couldnt see a thing and the Jedi appeard out of nowhere and drew his lightsaber." he explained "It lit the whole room up with

a dark red glow."

 

"Sounds like the same dream to me." said Sasha

 

"No it wasnt, because the dream didnt end there. The Jedi then took off his mask and it was me." he looked over at Sasha who looked confused

"i looked into his eyes, and saw nothing but death. Pain like i have never felt, then it made it's way through my body and i heard a

voice calling out to me. Almost as if beckoing me twords it."

 

"It is probly nothing, just a dream."

 

"Your probly right. It just feels so real."

 

"Well we got to get working on the crops if we wanna eat tonight." she said trying to hurry him to get up

 

"Ill meet you outside." he said "I wont be long."

 

Sasha then walked out the door.

 

Jeremy got up and started to get dressed when he heard a blood curdling scream.

he ran outside to find Sasha dead laying infront of a man dressed in black holding a Lightsaber. All he could see of the man was his glowing

yellow eyes.

 

jeremy droped to his knees "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" he screamed at the man, tears starting to sream down from his eyes.

 

The man smiled and said" What must be done."

 

"What are you talking about!?" He lashed out at the man.

 

Once agian the man smiled and he then tossed a Lightsaber to Jeremy "defend yourslef." he told to Jeremy.

The man then leaped forward with his saber drawn.

 

Jeremy took up the Lightsaber not knowing how to effectivly use it. He turns on the blue glowing blade and manages to block the attack.

 

"Not bad for someone with no training." the man said then began to strike at Jeremy agian.

 

Even with his inexperince he was able to fend of all the man attacks.

 

"You are powerfull. Just as my master had informed me"

 

Jeremy still fuled by his anger started attacking the man

but the man was just to powerfull and was able to stop them with a ease

 

"Im done playing around." said the man as he started to go on the offenceive agian.

But this time the attacks were to much for jeremy to handel, and the man landed a hit causeing jeremy to fall and drop the lightsaber.

 

"You still have a lot to learn" said the man as hit jeremy in the head knocking him out cold.

[Diego Varen]

So many spelling mistakes. Okay, let's tackle basic spelling today:

 

I must be capital.

 

Jedi must be capital.

 

Lightsaber must have a capital.

 

Names other than Jeremy must have Capitals.

 

New line of speech must have a capital.

 

Full Stops at the end of each sentence and commas occasionally.

 

Full Stops at the end of speech.

 

Read some Fics, like mine or someone elses around here and get inspiration. I won't read this until the spelling and the grammar has improved. Also Hall should be doing this job and welcome to the Forums.

[Bruins86]

yeah i know so many mistakes i wrote that in all of like 5 min it was just something quick i didnt have time to really even give it a good proof read