Twenty-Five Days

[Digitaldreamer]

Ugh, so tired...I barely got this done in time, so very busy. I also seem to be getting sick, ach, lovely...

 

I apologize, this chapter is a bit sub-par for an ending to poor Sasha's battle, but I couldn't manage anything else. I'm terribly sorry...really, this chapter is at it's funniest if you try to imagine the pictures I “write out” here, so have your imaginations ready.

 

Right...onward, I guess.

 

Day Thirteen: Sasha vs. The Lights

 

Episode Three: The Lights Seen 'Round The World (Except Not)

 

“A sound system.”

 

Milla glanced up from where she was weaving some garland around a railing. “Excuse me?”

 

Sasha stood before her, his hair and clothes slightly rumpled, his eye giving the occasional twitch. “Do you remember those videos that circulated the Internet last year? The ones of the house with the lights that lit up in time to 'Wizards of Winter'?”

 

The Brazilian Psychonaut's face brightened at this memory. “Oh yes, I remember! Those were amazing.”

 

“Yes, well, now that woman wants a display like that for the agency.”

 

Milla's jaw dropped. “You have to be kidding me.”

 

Sasha shook his head. “Ach, I wish.”

 

“She can't keep working you like this!” Milla exclaimed. “This is insane!”

 

Sasha let out a long sigh. “If only that were true. The good news is it is finally nearly ready. I've stapled myself to the building more times than I can count and I have taken so many jolts of electricity that it is truly a miracle I'm still living, but it is finally nearly ready. Once it is done I am locking myself in my office and I don't plan on leaving until this damn holiday is over.”

 

Milla shook her head, patting Sasha on the arm. “Oh come on sweetie, cheer up. Like you said, you're nearly done!” She said brightly. She saw her partner twitch, and could have sworn he mumbled something about not being cursed, but when she gave him a questioning look he merely shook his head and brushed her hand away.

 

“I suppose so. That does not change the fact that I never want to see another bulb as long as I live.” Sasha muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Well then...I had better get to work, I only came inside to ensure the power supply was working properly.”

 

“Good luck!” Milla beamed, waving as Sasha walked away.

 

Fifteen minutes and a few more unfortunately incidents with the extension cords (the ones he had bought ended up being defective, so once again Sasha found himself...er...”borrowing” some) and at last the display was ready.

 

“Alright. I am not cursed, I am not cursed, I am not cursed, I am not cursed...” Sasha chanted as he hefted up the extension cords. Then, holding his breath, he plugged it in.

 

There was a spark, a flash of light, and an explosion. Inside the agency, everything sputtered and died. The lights, the computers, the elevators, everything. The entire agency was plunged into darkness. Screams were heard through the entire building, thuds as agents ran smack into each other, hot coffee splashing onto the carpet. Some of the newer agents tumbled down staircases, dozens of smaller thuds ringing through the halls, followed by greater ones as they landed in piles like discarded, unmatched socks.

 

All was silent for a moment.

 

“What the HELL!?”

 

“What just happened!?”

 

“I think the power is out...”

 

“Ow...ow...my spine...”

 

“IT'S THE COMMIES! I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME! EVERYONE HEAD FOR THE BUNKERS! WE'LL TOUGH IT OUT AND THEN RETURN FIRE!”

 

“Shut up, Gray.”

 

Outside of the agency, Sasha cringed, staring at the building in horror.

 

“Oh, Gott...”

 

With that, he dropped the cords and charged inside.

 

It took three hours for everyone to stop panicking and the mechanics to finally restore power to the agency. They were incredibly puzzled, as Psychonauts Headquarters did not, in fact, run solely on regular electricity. If the power had gone out, it did have Psitanium to back it up. Therefore, the power really shouldn't have gone out. When they had checked the mineral, it had been fine. Baffled, the mechanics were stuck slaving with the power lines until they finally managed to get the place running again, much to the joy of the entire agency. Well...to everyone but a guy who kept running around screaming something about how “THE APOCALYPSE IS NEIGH, SUCKERS!” but he had a bit too much caffeine that morning.

 

And so, at last Sasha found himself wandering out of the building once more, a baffled Milla close behind.

 

“I just don't get it...how on earth did you do that, darling?”

 

Sasha just shook his head, at a loss for words by this point.

 

Milla cast a glance at him and sighed, shaking her head. “Well, at least they fixed it, hm? Come on, why don't you just plug it in so you can consider the job done once and for all?”

 

The German Psychonaut let out a long sigh, picking up the extension cords once again. “Right...yes. Here we go.” He mumbled, unspiritedly plugging the lights in.

 

Nothing happened.

 

Sasha glanced up despairingly at the unlit agency. “Oh Gott...”

 

Milla winced. “Oh dear...well, relax, I'm sure it's just a little miss-step, that's all. I'll go check the system and everything, you just check the lights, okay?” She said, patting Sasha comfortingly on the back.

 

“...ah...right...checking the lights.”

 

With that, the two split up.

 

Milla headed around to the back of the agency, where a great big, complicated computer system had been set up for the lights. “Oh...wow...” She murmured, wincing as the machine gave a spark. “I wonder if it will bite me if I get too close...”

 

Meanwhile, Sasha was checking over the lights on the roof, mumbling to himself all the while. “Not cursed, not cursed, it's all in your head, Sasha, not cursed...”

 

Finally, Milla's emerald green eyes lit up. “Aha! Found the problem!” She chirped, reaching down and flicking a switch with her gloved hand.

 

The lights came to life all at once, bathing the agency in a kaleidoscopic glow. Sasha let out a cry of surprise, blinded from being so close to the hundreds of bulbs. He stumbled back, clutching at his eyes.

 

“Oh, here's the music! Let's see if it works!” Milla said with a grin, hitting a button.

 

Sasha, blinded by the lights, was unable to see the cords behind him until it was too late. His feet caught on them and he slipped, letting out a yelp as he hit the roof, nearly tumbling off of it. Fortunately for him, his foot caught a strand of lights, holding him there.

 

Unfortunately, by this point it had become quite clear that Sasha and The Lights did not have the best of relationships.

 

“Pop, pop, pop!”

 

“...Oh dear.”

 

“SNAP!”

 

Cue Ode to Joy.

 

Across the roof Sasha slipped, catching every strand of lights as he went. Amazingly, the lights did follow a bit of their programming. They exploded in time with Ode to Joy, which was blaring over the speakers as Sasha went tumbling down like some sort of Men in Black version of Humpty Dumpty.

 

“POPPOPOPOPPOPOP!” Went the lights.

 

“SNAP!” Went the strands as Sasha caught them, tumbling past windows as he flew story after story.

 

“SWOOSH!” Went Sasha's snazzy leather jacket.

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Went Sasha.

 

Forget Santa and his Reindeer, this must have truly been a sight to behold, to see Sasha Nein tumbling through the air, screaming bloody murder, lights tangled around him like writhing snakes, a shower of multicolored glass trailing behind him like the tail of a brilliant comet.

 

“SNAPSNAPSNAP-- BOOOOING!”

 

At last, several combined strands of lights managed to strain to hold Sasha's weight, at last bringing the International Agent to a stop before he hit the ground. It was around then that Milla finally showed up.

 

“Sasha? Darling? I heard screaming and-- Oh my God, Sasha!” Milla shrieked.

 

Sasha dangled there, so wrapped up in strands of lights that Milla could only see his shellshocked face.

 

“Oh my God!” Milla repeated, quickly using telekinesis to untangle the poor man and bring him to the ground. “Are you alright, dear!?” She asked when Sasha was finally set on his feet.

 

Sasha stood in silence for a moment, simply twitching. Finally, he said one thing.

 

“I...really am cursed.”

 

With that, he collapsed back into the snow and stayed there.

 

 

Final Score:

 

Lights: 3

 

Sasha: 0

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[BigBad]

I was having an exceptionally horrid day today and your stories put a smile on my face.

 

Now that I have some time on my hands, expect some fanart. Soon. Very Soon.

[Digitaldreamer]

Right, so I was less sick today, but exhausted none the less. Man this fic is tiring...I may have to call off next weeks CP update too, just to keep up with this and get the various other fics and pictures I need to do for the holidays done.

 

Good news is I'm so busy I don't have time to spiral into my usual bouts of depression...of course I'm also so tired I get dizzy taking five steps...oh well.

 

Onward!

 

Day Fourteen: The Cold Shoulder

 

Truman Zanotto was a very busy man. As the Head of the Psychonauts, he certainly had quite a big job. Most of his days were spent glancing over case files, listening to people yell at him over the phone, and watching annoyed agents come stomping into his office to demand to know why he had just assigned them some random case in Brazil.

 

Thus, when his door burst open, Zanotto was hardly surprised, nor was he motivated to look up from the paperwork in his hands. “Yes, yes, I'm rather busy now,” He muttered without glancing up. “If you could just--”

 

“Dad, we need to talk.”

 

Truman let out a sigh. “Lili, I'm--”

 

“Truman, darling, I don't think you understood that. We need to talk.” A long-fingered, gloved hand reached out to push the papers out of the way, revealing to Truman the angered faces of his assigned Holiday Committee.

 

Truman blinked, then gave a small, nervous chuckle. “Ah, it's...you guys. Uh...how's the decorating coming?”

 

Lili scowled, putting her hands on her hips. “Um, not too well, no thanks to Tessie.”

 

Her father blinked in confusion. “What's wrong with Tessie?”

 

“What's wrong!? SHE'S INSANE!” Raz exclaimed.

 

Truman's brow furrowed. “Razputin, that's how the general public would describe most of the agency, and I will not have you--”

 

“Truman, darling, he's telling the truth.” Milla said, cutting him off.

 

“Her plans are ridiculous! She wants us to have the kind of decorations that would make the elves at the North Pole jealous!” Raz cried.

 

“She put me in an elf costume!” Lili cried.

 

“Yes, have you seen her plans for the lights display!?” Milla exclaimed.

 

At the mention of the lights, Sasha twitched.

 

“Yeah, she got Sasha deep-fried!” Raz exclaimed.

 

“An elf costume!” Lili repeated.

 

“She completely ruined the kitchen!” Milla continued.

 

“Well actually, I did that...” Raz pointed out.

 

“Relax, darling, it wasn't your fault.” Milla said gently.

 

“And it was green and red with little bells...” Lili continued to rant.

 

“I would like to point out that with all this work that woman has piled on us, she has not helped!” Sasha exclaimed.

 

“Yeah, that's right! She hasn't lifted a finger while we've been slaving away!” Raz cried indignantly.

 

“Yes, and she always has that...disturbing smile on her face.” Sasha shuddered.

 

“Oh, don't forget the 'Christmas Cheer™', now!” Raz sneered.

 

Milla shuddered.

 

“A GODDAMN ELF COSTUME!” Lili shrieked.

 

“She's creepy!” Raz yelled.

 

“Amen to that!” Milla agreed.

 

“And above all else, the oddest thing of all...” Sasha began.

 

“DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A LAST NAME!?” They all screamed at once.

 

Silence.

 

Truman sat at his desk, his hair blown back from the wind of his agents complaints. He then shook his head, smoothing it out. “Huh...wow. I didn't realize she was actually that bad...I was just busy and needed someone to do the decorations. She volunteered...” He then paused, frowning thoughtfully. “Funny, I don't think I know her last name either....that's odd.”

 

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his thinning hair. He was getting far too old for this. “I'm sorry guys, I didn't know she'd be like that. How can I make it up to you?”

 

The four psychics all glanced at each other, then smiled.

 

---

 

“One, two, three...HEAVE!”

 

Tessie landed in a small helicopter with a heavy thud, her arms and legs bound by strands of shimmering tinsel. “W-what!? What's going on!?” She cried, her green eyes frantic as she glanced around.

 

“Oh, well, since the decorating is finally done and you did such a wonderful job, we figured we'd send you on a little vacation!” Raz explained, his hair whipping back from his face as the chopper whirred to life.

 

“Yeah, we heard Antarctica's really nice around this time of year~!” Lili said with an evil grin.

 

Tessie's eyes widened. “What!? ANTARCTICA!? But...but...this is so not Christmas Cheer™ !”

 

“Oh, we know. That's why we've converted to Judaism.” Sasha drawled sarcastically.

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“Yes, well, you know, darling. Eight days instead of one and all, eight smaller fire hazards instead of one big one...you understand, right?” Milla said, flashing a winning smile.

 

Raz snorted. “Yeah, we were going to convert to...er...Kwanzanissm--”

 

“Kwanza is a Pan-African holiday, Razputin.” Sasha corrected.

 

“Whatever. The point is we would do that, but they only do seven days, so...well, you know.” Raz shrugged.

 

“But...but...you're supposed to celebrate Christmas!” Tessie sputtered.

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever lady. You can spread your 'Christmas Cheer™ ' or whatever to the penguins.” Lili snorted. With that, she nodded, waved to the helicopter pilot, and the four psychics stepped back.

 

Tessie let out a shriek, bucking and kicking in a desperate attempt to get loose. “But...but...this isn't right! I'm supposed to spread Christmas Cheer™ ! CHRISTMAS CHEER™ !”

 

“That's nice, Tessie, if that is your real name.” Raz said with a grin, giving a cheery wave that the other psychics joined in on. “Have fun in Antarctica! See you...oh, in about six months, if you survive.”

 

With that, the helicopter rose into the air, Tessie's enraged shrieks only just heard over the whirring of the blades.

 

“YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'LL BE BACK! I'LL BE BACK!” She screamed. “DO YOU HEAR ME!? I'LL BE BAAAAAACK!”

 

“Good-bye, lady!” Lili called back.

 

“Have fun, darling!” Milla said in a sing-song voice.

 

“Good luck with the subzero temperatures!” Sasha added.

 

Raz's grin widened. “And remember...”

 

“CHRISTMAS CHEER™ !” They all shouted as one.

 

With that, Tessie was born away to the land of ice and snow, never to be heard from again.

 

...Or so we hope.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[BigBad]

HUZZAH!!! No more Tessie! That biatch was starting to really piss me off.

[Digitaldreamer]

So, while LFRD was down, I was sick, tired, and basically wasn't able to update Friday. It is now the eighteenth and I'm STILL trying to catch up.

 

Well, here's what I have so far...let's hope I can get today's done in time, eep!

 

Also, I apologize in advance for any mistakes, my beta got Twilight Princess...so yeah, we won't be seeing her for awhile. So I apologize in advance, and may we all hope she beats the damn thing soon.

 

Right, onward!

 

Day Fifteen: Crystal's Not-So-Wonderful Life

 

Winter nights in Peoria, Illinois were generally a chilly affair. The night in which our story takes place was a particularly good illustration of this, with snow billowing through the small town as far as the eye could see. People went to and fro, scarves covering their frost-bitten faces as they hurried to get out of the cold.

 

All save for one.

 

Running through the center of the town was a great, rapidly flowing river, which was actually quite famous for drowning anyone who set so much as a foot in the rapids. Though in the winter it tended to freeze over, it wasn't quite at that point yet. It did, however, have chunks of ice churning within it. Various bridges ran over this river, and standing on the tallest one, peering over the edge, was Crystal Flowers Snagrash.

 

“Well...I guess this is it...” Crystal murmured as she shivered in the cold, her red ponytail billowing back in the wind, tears clinging (and by clinging we mean freezing) to her cheeks. “The world's had enough of me...I'm so terrible...a pimple on the face of humanity.” She whimpered miserably. “No one likes my cheers, which are terrible anyway, I'm not good at anything else, Clem's not here, everyone else hates me...”

 

“No one would care if I just jumped right now!” She sobbed into her gloved hands.

 

Quite suddenly, Crystal found herself illuminated by a bright beam of light. The red-haired girl blinked, her brow furrowing. “Huh...what?” She squinted up into the beam of light.

 

There was a yell from up above, but it was a bit too muffled for her to actually catch what was being said.

 

“What!? God, is that you!?” Crystal called up into the light.

 

More yelling that she couldn't make out.

 

“What!?”

 

There was a loud, hacking cough. “I said, could you hand me that bulb I just dropped!?”

 

Crystal blinked in confusion. She then glanced down to her left to see a simple light bulb sitting in the snow next to her. “...Wha?” She knelt down, picked up the light bulb, brushed the snow off and held it up. “You mean this?”

 

“Yeah, that's it. Thanks kid.” The lightbulb was taken from her hand. There was a pop, and then the beam of light vanished, followed by a few squeaks. A slightly dimmer light came up. “Ah, there we go.”

 

A young man in his late twenties suddenly came down a step ladder to stand next to Crystal, his shaggy blond hair blowing in the wind as he squinted up into the beam of light. He was clad in a white hoodie, the words “Choir Angels Do It Better” printed across it in gold, as well as a pair of baggy jeans. What was most shocking about him, however, was the pair of fluffy white wings sprouting from his back.

 

“There we go, that's better. I told Gaberial that other brand was way too bright, but does he listen!? No, of course not. Stupid jerk, always thinks he's right just because he gets mentioned more often...” The blond muttered, scratching his head.

 

Crystal made a sputtering noise, stumbling back. “Who are you!?”

 

“Huh?” The blond blinked, glancing down at Crystal. “Oh, hey. Thanks for helping me, uh...”

 

“Crystal.” The red head said. “Now who are you!?”

 

“Oh...um...me?” The blond blinked again, then gave a solemn nod. “Ah, yes. I am one of the Lord's sacred messengers! My name is...Steve.”

 

“Steve?” Crystal repeated dubiously.

 

“Yes, Steve!” The blond snapped. “What, do you have a problem with it? It's a great name!”

 

Crystal winced. “Eep, sorry, Mr.Angel...um...are you hear to help me?”

 

“Help you?” Steve blinked in confusion. “Not really. Actually I'm just here because some angels are lazy asses and send others to fix their stupid mistakes.” He growled.

 

“Oh...” Crystal's shoulders slumped dejectedly.

 

Steve's brow furrowed. Then he snapped his fingers. “Oh, damn, right, the whole suicide thing...and Bob's on vacation too...oh well, I guess I can try to help. Um...lets see...what was that movie that's on every Christmas? Perhaps something like that...”

 

Crystal blinked in confusion. Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed her by the arm. “C'mon kiddo, let me show you something...”

 

---

 

A few moments later found Crystal clinging to Steve for dear life on the back of a speeding motorcycle.

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What are we doing!?” Crystal shrieked, her eyes wide.

 

“Gah, stop screaming in my ear!” Steve yelped, wincing in pain. “I'm showing you that film they always show at Christmas...you know, The Great Escape?”

 

“WHAT!? Why!?”

 

“I dunno,” Steve shrugged, brow furrowing. “Escape from your troubles? Nah, that can't be right.”

 

Just as quickly as it came, the motorcycle disappeared, leaving Steve and Crystal floating in a strange, blank white space. Low, elevator-style carols played in the background as the two stood there, Crystal appearing confused while Steve was contemplating exactly what he was supposed to be doing.

 

“Hm...let me think...okay uh...well, I don't need to show you that there really is a Santa Clause, do I?”

 

Crystal shook her head.

 

“Hmm...what movie am I thinking of? Mary Poppins? Muppet Christmas Carol? ET?” The blond frowned, scratching his head in confusion.

 

“Um...mister angel, sir, I'm sorry for wasting your time, maybe I should just get to killing myself...”

 

“Wait, I got it!” Steve snapped his fingers and grinned. “I'm thinking of 'It's a Wonderful Life', of course!”

 

Crystal stared blankly at him.

 

“So, you really think you're useless?” Steve asked.

 

Crystal nodded.

 

“Wish you'd never been born?”

 

The red-head nodded again.

 

“Well...um...I'm running out of time here, but let me...uh, give you a quick rundown.” Steve frowned, running a hand through his hair. “Just think, if you weren't born, your mom would be really lonely! And..um...what's-his-face, the guy who cheers with you-”

 

“Clem?” Crystal perked up a bit.

 

“Yeah, him! If you weren't around, he'd have become...uh, an emo goth, yeah. He'd dress in all black and wear eyeliner and go around babbling about how his life is a sonata of tears or whatever.”

 

“Really!?” Crystal gasped, her eyes wide. “Oh my gosh!”

 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. And um...oh, Razputin! Remember how brave and heroic he is? Well, if you weren't around to cheer for him, Raz becomes...uh, a total coward, yeah. High-tails it from Whispering Rock screaming 'Run away, run away!' and everything.”

 

Crystal let out another gasp. “My cheers mean that much!?”

 

“You bet. And um...you know, since Raz wasn't around to save the world, it was taken over by psychic death tanks with the brains all of all your little friends inside. Gosh, if only you had been there to cheer them on...”

 

Crystal's eyes were wide and shining.

 

Steve, encouraged by this, gave a nervous laugh. “Um...yeah...and...also, uh, because of some weird act of the chaos theory, you not existing would have...uh...caused giant dust bunnies to multiply by the thousands and destroy the world!”

 

“Oh my gosh!” Crystal exclaimed, tears coming to her eyes. “Is that really all true!?”

 

“Well...actually, no.” Steve drawled bluntly. “I'm just making this all up as I go.”

 

Crystal's eyes widened and she put her face in her hands, sobbing.

 

“I-I mean,yes, of course it is!” Steve cried out, trying to cover up.

 

“Oh...” Crystal glanced up at him again, giving a watery smile. “So I'm really...important?”

 

“Um...yeah, of course!” Steve lied through a weak grin. He reached down to pat Crystal awkwardly on the back. “So um...yeah...still want to kill yourself?”

 

Crystal opened her mouth to speak, then took a minute to think. Was living really so bad? She paused to remember the good times, like the time when her mother had actually remembered her birthday and had gotten her a kleenex box, and that time the kids in school had locked her in the freezer had been really funny once she had been defrosted! All the cheers she and Clem had done. That one time the kids at camp had actually replied to all of her letters. And all those times Bobby and Benny had beat her and Clem up had clearly only been out of misplaced affection.

 

She turned to Steve. “O. M. G. You are so right, Mister Angel guy! I don't want to die!” With that, she flung herself at the blond and gave him a hug. “Oh, thank you thank you thank you!”

 

“Gah! Get off of me!” Steve yelped, shoving her away.

 

“Oh, thank you so much! You've shown me the light, mister angel guy!” Crystal exclaimed. “Can you send me home? Actually...I need to go shopping, can you believe I didn't get anything for anyone since I thought I was going to kill myself? Gosh, I am so stupid!”

 

“Uh...alright, I'll drop you off at the nearest Wal Mart, then.” Steve shrugged. “Good luck in life.” With that, he snapped his fingers and she was gone.

 

This task done, he groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “There. Damnit, Gaberial better fork over those twenty bucks...”

 

---

 

Crystal materialized in the middle of Wal Mart, but the other shoppers were too absorbed in their obligatory gift buying to notice.

 

A voice came over the intercom. “Attention shoppers. Wal Mart will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please take all your last minute purchases to the check-out line. Thank you, and happy holidays.”

 

Crystal looked up. An over-sized calender could be seen hanging up on one of the displays. It said “ 24th December”.

 

Crystal screamed. She kept screaming as she rushed through the department store at top speeds, panicking and buying the nearest thing she thought the other campers might like. She was still screaming as she paid at the checkout, which caused the poor lady working there to check her signature several times. She only stopped screaming when she finally reached the bus stop, much to the relief of everyone else in the bus shelter.

 

---

 

“You know,” Gaberial drawled as he and Steve munched on popcorn. “Making that little girl think it's Christmas Eve already was a pretty mean trick.”

 

“But funny.” Steve pointed out as he sipped his Mountain Dew.

 

“True enough.”

 

The two sat in silence for a moment.

 

“This doesn't change the fact that you still owe me twenty bucks.” Steve growled.

 

“What!?” Gaberial sputtered.

 

“Hey, you lost the bet, you pay up.”

 

“Oh, Goddamnit it all!”

 

“Hey, stop using my name in vain!”

 

“Sorry, sir...”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

 

Day Sixteen: The Great Snow War

 

“Wow, I can't believe how much easier that job was without Tessie.” Raz commented as he pulled on his jacket.

 

“I can.” Lili muttered darkly as she pulled on her own.

 

Milla let out a light, airy laugh. “Well, at least the job is done, hm? The entire agency is decorated and ready for the Christmas Party on the Eighteenth.”

 

Raz blinked in confusion. “There's a party on the eighteenth?”

 

“Yes darling, didn't you know?” Milla asked, cocking her head to the side. “That's when everyone's doing the secret santa exchange as well.”

 

“The Secret Santa exchange!?” Raz sputtered, his eyes widening in horror.

 

“Yes, darling. Should be fun, hm?” The Brazilian asked with a smile.

 

“Um...yeah...sure...” Raz said, giving a nervous laugh.

 

Sasha frowned as he pulled on his scarf. “Razputin...have you found anything for Miss Zanotto yet?” He asked telepathically, casting the goggle-headed boy a meaningful look.

 

Raz winced. “No,” He replied. “I've been so busy and...I just haven't found the right thing yet.”

 

“Ah...” Sasha glanced over at Lili, brow furrowing. This was certainly turning out to be a bit of a mess...

 

“Well, looks like we finally have a weekend to relax! It's about time!” Milla said with a content sigh as the four psychics made their way out of the agency.

 

Lili scowled, rolling her eyes. “Oh joy, two days spent in that big, empty house. Whoo hoo.”

 

Raz blinked in confusion. “You're there all by yourself? Even on weekends?”

 

“On weekends?” Lili snorted. “I'm lucky if he gets out of this building once every three months.” She said as she pushed out the door.

 

“Oh...”The goggle-headed boy winced as he followed Lili out the door and into the parking lot. “Well, what about your mom?”

 

Lili visibly tensed. “My mom...” A far-away look came to her eyes, her expression darkening. “...That's none of your business.”

 

Milla and Sasha shot each other concerned glances. Milla then opened her mouth to speak. “Lili--”

 

Raz cut her off. “Huh? What do you--” His inquiry was interrupted, however, when a large, white snowball suddenly came whizzing out of nowhere to strike him in the face.

 

At the sound of the loud WHAP Lili spun around, blinking in confusion. Raz looked just as baffled as he stood there, covered in snow. Milla and Sasha stared.

 

Then Lili started laughing. Very, very hard. “You look so...so...STUPID!” She giggled as she pointed at Raz's shocked face. “Ahahahaha--”

 

WHAP!

 

Lili blinked in shock as snow slid down her face.

 

Raz burst into laughter, doubling over and holding his sides. Milla blinked for a moment, then started giggling as well. Even Sasha had to crack a smile.

 

“Don't worry dear, you still look fabulous.” Milla said between giggles.

 

WHAP!

 

Milla stumbled back, covered in snow.

 

“Okay, where the hell are these things coming from!?” Raz asked as he glanced around, brow furrowing.

 

WHAP!

 

“Over here, losers!” A loud, heavily-lisped voice cried out.

 

Raz blinked, glancing over to see a certain red 'fro and two very, very large ears. “Bobby!? Benny!?” He sputtered.

 

WHAP!

 

“Yes. Ow.” Sasha grunted as he brushed some snow off of his jacket and glared towards the culprits.

 

“Sorry, Agent Nein!” Kitty and Franke giggled.

 

WHAP!

 

“Eep!” Milla laughed, shielding her face.

 

“Nils!” Elka screamed before ducking behind a car, dragging a drooling Nils (whom had been aiming for poor Milla's chest) by the ear as she did so.

 

WHAP!

 

“ACK!” Lili yelped, stumbling forward. “Milka! How could you!?” She cried as her assailant became visible.

 

Elton flashed a shy grin as he prepared another snowball. “Sorry, Lili!”

 

“Hey!” Raz cried as he dodged several shots. “Maloof! Mikhail! What are you two doing here!?”

 

“To put it simply, Razputin, I believe we all received your invitations.” Maloof said simply.

 

“Yes, even in Russia. Goggle boy seen any hairless bears here in New York?” Mikhail asked as he hefted up another snowball.

 

“Invitations!?” Raz yelped as he was struck by another snowball in the back. “What invitations!?”

 

“Well, I got mine last week. Says we were all invited to spend the holidays here, eh?” Chops called out as he chucked another snowball at Raz.

 

“Good shootin', partner.” JT complimented his buddy.

 

“I do not remember this. At all.” Sasha muttered as he half-heartedly dodged snowballs.

 

“You don't? Aw, it's a great story.” Vernon spoke up. “Want to hear it?”

 

“NO!” Everyone shouted.

 

“Well, anyway, we figured hanging out here for the holidays would be totally dope, you know?” Quentin said.

 

“Yeah! Lots of...roasting of chestnuts over an open fire and everything.” Phoebe added with a dangerous grin.

 

“This is how we celebrate this...Christmas, then?” Chloe blinked in confusion. “You humans are so strange...”

 

“Whoo, Christmas!” Clem cheered, so excited that he really was doing little to actually contribute to the attack of the agents.

 

“Well...this is certainly...unexpected.” Sasha said slowly before being hit in the back of the head with a snowball.

 

“Sounds like the work of Tessie.” Lili muttered.

 

“Likely-- ACK!” Milla yelped as she was hit yet again.

 

“Well, we're all here now...I hope you don't mind.”

 

The four psychics spun around to see Dogen standing there, hands behind his back.

 

“...How did you get there?” Sasha asked, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“Dogen! How dare you help the enemy!?” Elka cried.

 

“Get the traitor!” Nils cried.

 

A hail of snowballs rained down on the five, causing them all to yell and shield their heads.

 

“Why, sweetie, of course it's fine!” Milla said quickly.

 

“Yeah, sure! We're glad you're all here!” Raz added.

 

“GAH, STOP SHOOTING!” Lili screeched. Her yelling only seemed to encourage their attackers, however.

 

“I...do not think they will be stopping any time soon.” Sasha drawled.

 

“Only one thing to do, then...” Raz grinned, then quite suddenly grabbed everyone and ducked behind Milla's car. “Fight back!”

 

“What!?” Sasha sputtered.

 

“What?” Dogen repeated, blinking in confusion.

 

Milla blinked, let out a small giggle. “I suppose you're right...”

 

“This is stupid.” Lili scowled, crossing her arms. “I'm not--” She was cut off by a snowball hitting her in the back of the head. She then twitched, reaching back to wipe it off. “Alright, that's it! ATTACK!” She snarled, using telekinesis to gather up several snow balls at once and fling them.

 

And so the Great Snow War began.

 

From the start, Raz, Lili, Sasha, Milla, and Dogen were greatly outnumbered. It didn't help that their opponent's battle cry was something along the lines of “TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DIE!” or “REMEMBER THE ALAMO!” depending on who was talking. But even so, they fought back valiantly.

 

Thus, the war was long and hard...

 

WHAP!

 

“Gah! Bobby!” Raz snarled as he was hit in the face for what seemed like the millionth time.

 

“Nah nah nah!” Bobby sneered, sticking out his tongue.

 

The harsh, frigid winter weather would have no quarter given...

 

“Teehee....snowflakes...” Clem giggled after being hit in the head one too many times.

 

There were terrible losses on both sides...

 

“NOOOOOO! THESE JEANS ARE DRY CLEAN ONLY!” Kitty sobbed.

 

The warriors fought long and hard...

 

WHAP!

 

“I'm on your side, you psycho!” Chops cried.

 

“Oh, sorry.” Elka giggled.

 

And in the end...

 

“Ha! We did it!” Raz panted, his breath coming out in short puffs, sweat causing his matted hair to cling to his forehead. “We fended them off! We won!”

 

“Nuh uh!” Bobby cried out. “We won, dorkface!”

 

It was a tie.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

 

For those of you wondering where Crystal was...just wait, you'll see.

 

Day Seventeen: Santa Who?

 

A little while later found the campers all gathered together in a building near Psychonauts Headquarters. When they first started out, many agents couldn't afford housing (or in Raz's case, they were okay with letting him save the world on a regular basis, but they wouldn't let him get an apartment), so the agency had a building set up fairly close by for their quarters. They were mostly decent sized, but cheap apartments, not exactly the perfect place, but better than nothing. A good portion of these apartments were empty, so apparently that would be where the campers would be staying.

 

And who got stuck trying to get everything ready on such short notice? Why, Raz, Lili, Sasha, and Milla of course!

 

“Am I...the only one who feels...reluctant to let a bunch of ten-year olds each have their own separate apartments?” Sasha asked as he levitated some cots behind him.

 

“Hey!” Raz exclaimed. “I do just fine.”

 

“Actually, yes darling, I really don't think letting them all have their own rooms is a good idea, not to mention I don't think we have enough room. It's probably best to just divide them all in pairs or groups of four.” Milla said

 

“And what, have them duke it out over who gets the cot?” Lili snorted. “It's not like the regular beds are much more comfortable...”

 

“It can't be helped, they'll just have to deal with it.” Milla stated, hands on her hips. “Though I am not sure how we can divide everyone...”

 

“Well...I guess Dogen could room with me if he has to, I'd hate for him to get stuck with Bobby or something...” Raz muttered, scratching his head.

 

“Alright, that could work...everyone else, I suppose we'll just prepare the rooms and let them choose for themselves.” Sasha stated.

 

Milla nodded. “Alright, let's get started then!” With that, she got to work setting up the rooms, piles and piles of blankets levitating behind her.

 

“Ah...Milla?”

 

Milla paused, blinking. “Yes?”

 

“Do the children...really need all those blankets?” Sasha asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

The Brazilian blinked. “Why, of course, darling!”

 

Raz paused from where he was dragging out a spare bed to stare at the pile of blankets in horror. “Milla, they're just spending a few nights at the Agency, not the arctic tundra!”

 

“But...they might get cold...”

 

“Milla, the heating here tends to be too warm, I'm sure they'll be fine.” Lili drawled.

 

“But...”

 

“Milla. Put them back.” Sasha said slowly.

 

Milla sulked and went to put some of the blankets away.

 

Meanwhile, the campers were all settled in the common area of the agents quarters. Each had been situated with a steaming mug of hot cocoa as they chatted among themselves. Kitty, Franke, and Elka were all seated in front of one of the big screen TVs, watching the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie and squealing over how hot Orlando Bloom/Johnny Depp apparently was. Poor Nils had been stuck with them and looked extremely bored, as the movie was not in fact, rated “Arr”. Elton and Milka were curled up in an arm chair together, making out vigorously and ignoring Franke's demands to “Shut up, Jack is speaking!” JT and Chops were playing Go Fish with Maloof and Mikhail, whom were apparently making JT an offer he couldn't refuse. Quentin and Phoebe were practicing one of their songs, trying desperately to play as loudly as they could to drown out Clem's ecstatic cheers for Vernon to continue his dull blabbing. Benny and Bobby were over in the corner, hammering away at their Nintendo DS systems. Or, they were until Benny apparently won, at which point Bobby proceeded to sock his lackey in the jaw.

 

“Gah! Ow...sorry boss.” Benny whimpered, nursing his sore jaw.

 

“Yeah, yeah...just don't pull that crap again.” Bobby growled as he snapped his DS shut and pocketed it. “Anyway, where's Chloe?”

 

“Chloe?” Benny wrinkled his nose. “Man, what is with you? She's just some stupid space cadet, I don't know why you obsess over her. She's a freak.”

 

The moment the words were out of his mouth, Benny regretted it.

 

He caught a flash of Bobby's enraged face, followed by an explosion of pain. He stumbled back, clutching at his face, tasting blood. Bobby then reached out to snatch the front of his shirt and pull him closer so they were nose to nose.

 

“Don't ever talk about Chloe like that ever again.” The afro-haired boy snarled, his voice dangerously low as he gave Benny a harsh shake. “Understand? If you ever do, you're dead.”

 

“I-I understand boss! Really, I do! I'm sorry!” Benny stuttered, nodding quickly.

 

“Good.” Bobby released his lackey and glanced around, finally spotting the space cadet sitting all alone in front of the Christmas tree. He shot a final glare at Benny, then lumbered over to her.

 

“Um...uh...hey...uh...Chloe, what're you doing?” The bully stuttered.

 

“Hm?” Chloe glanced up, blinking. “Oh, I'm just getting a sample from this dying tree. You earth people certainly have strange customs...what's the point of bringing a tree inside just so it can die in your living room? A Zorcan Firbanator would help it live longer.”

 

Bobby shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Hell if I know...my family doesn't celebrate Christmas much.” He muttered. “I think it's for Santa to put your presents under it or something...” He gestured up to the tree.

 

Chloe's brow furrowed. “San-Ta?” She repeated slowly. “Who is this...San-Ta?”

 

“You don't know about Santa?” Benny laughed as he walked over, pausing to shield himself from Bobby. Once sure his boss wasn't going to hit him again, the large-eared child cautiously continued. “You know, big fat guy in a red suit, comes down your chimney, eats your milk and cookies, leaves you presents, has magical flying reindeer and a sleigh?”

 

Chloe's eyes widened in horror. From Benny's description, she was getting the mental image of a big, fat hairy man clad in dirty red long johns and some cheap hat trying to squeeze through peoples chimneys, then going through poor family's fridge and cupboards and taking all of their cookies and milk. He then dumps poorly wrapped presents on the floor and tries to shimmy his fat white ass back up the chimney so he can get to his “flying” reindeer and sleigh on the roof-- only to hit the next roof on the block.

 

“When does this Santa come!?” She gasped.

 

“Um...Christmas Eve.” Benny blinked.

 

“We have to be ready! We can't let that...man...” She paused and shuddered. “Do that to this place!”

 

Bobby blinked in confusion. “You mean leave presents? Chloe, Santa isn't--”

 

“Silence, large-haired human!” Chloe cried. “I will not be deterred any longer! Perhaps none of you earthlings understand the danger you are in, but I do! I will prepare for the attack of this...Santa...”

 

Bobby opened his mouth to speak, but Benny cut him off. “So...wait...what're you gonna do?”

 

“Why, only the proper thing, of course! I will capture this...Santa and give him the earth authorities! I am sure they have been trying to get this man for a very long time, just like the fugitive Gorlog!” Chloe declared.

 

Bobby blinked. “You're gonna try to catch Santa?”

 

Chloe nodded.

 

Bobby blinked again. Then he grinned. “Hm...alright, sounds like fun. I'd definitely like to give 'ol fat boy a piece of my mind...” He said, cracking his knuckles.

 

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan, boss!” Benny grinned.

 

Chloe frowned suspiciously. “You two...are going to help me?”

 

“You bet!” Bobby grinned, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “What do you say? Just the two of us, defending earth!”

 

“Hey, don't forget me!” Benny piped up.

 

“Shut up, Benny.”

 

Chloe looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she smiled. “Oh, alright...I guess I could use the help. Very well! Bobby, nose human, the two of you will help me save this pathetic planet from this...Santa!” She declared, posing dramatically.

 

“Yaaaaaaaaaay.” Both Bobby and Benny cheered in a less-than enthusiastic manner.

 

“Right. Come now, we have to start planning immediately!” Chloe declared. With that, she rushed out of the room.

 

Benny frowned. “Hey, um...boss...you think maybe we should tell her the truth?” He whispered.

 

Bobby blinked. On one hand, he knew he was lying, and Chloe had been yelling at him not to...on the other, she was actually willingly spending time with him!

 

“Nah. She'll figure it out eventually.”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Man, my updates are just getting later and later... I'm really sorry, I'm trying as best as I can! I just hope I can finish this...

 

Right, so...my beta reader got Twilight Princess, so she won't be around for awhile...so once again, I apologize for any mistakes, any you see just means you should pray extra hard that she beats the damn thing soon.

 

Right, onward!

 

Day Eighteen: Christmas Promises

 

Parties at Psychonauts Headquarters were always a strange affair. On one hand, you had a bunch of stiff government agents all forced into a big room with streamers placed here and there in hopes to induce a “party” sort of setting. On the other hand, these were Psychonauts. They weren't exactly your regular government agents. Thus, the main floor of the agency was a buzz of conversation, ranging from the more somber, traditional agents to the ones with much more...er...”character”. And of course, the addition of the PsiCadets certainly made things...interesting, although most of the kids just seemed bored. All sorts of decorations hung around the room, ranging from simple garlands to something as elaborate as snow constantly falling from the ceiling with the help of cyrokinetics. At the center of it all stood the Infamous Tree, looking gorgeous in spite of the horrors involved with putting it up. Bits of psitanium were placed along the branches gave it quite a shine with all the tinsel, ornaments, and lights.

 

Raz was currently situated at the snack table, munching on a cookie. He was a bundle of nerves. On one hand, he was insanely excited, as this was his first party with the agency. On the other hand...he never did find Lili a present, hence the reason why he was staying out of the thick of things.

 

What was he going to do!? He could already imagine her face when she realized he was the only secret santa who had failed, the mask of indifference pulled up to hide hurt, an expression he had seen gracing his girlfriend's face many times before.

 

God, he really didn't want to be the one to cause that sort of face.

 

“Man...what am I going to do?” Raz murmured, putting his face in his hands.

 

“Razputin?”

 

Raz blinked, glancing up to see Sasha standing there with a glass of wine and a Santa hat placed upon his head. “...Sasha?” The goggle-headed boy quirked a brow, nodding towards his idol's new, rather out-of-character accessory.

 

“Milla.” Sasha explained shortly.

 

“Ah...” Raz couldn't help but crack a small smile.

 

“What are you doing over here?” Sasha asked, raising an eyebrow. “I would have thought you'd be the type to...er...enjoy this sort of thing.” He gestured towards the crowd of agents, not quite able to keep a hint of disdain out of his voice. Sasha really wasn't one for big social outings.

 

“Oh..well...yeah, I am...just...you know.” Raz muttered, glancing down at his feet.

 

Sasha watched him in silence for a moment. Then he said “Do not worry. I am sure you will think of something.”

 

The goggle-headed boy sighed. “They're supposed to be passed out now.” He said.

 

“Ah...” Sasha winced. That wasn't good. “Well...do not worry. I'm sure you'll work something out...you always do.”

 

Raz blinked, glancing up at the older agent. “You really think so?” He asked, eyes searching.

 

“Of course.” Sasha nodded, giving a small smile. When Raz smiled back, he deemed it safe to pull a wrapped package from behind his back. “Now then, would you mind delivering this to Agent Shive?”

 

Raz's brow furrowed as he blinked, taking the gift. “Wha?”

 

“Santa is supposed to be 'secret'. That means I need an elf.” Sasha said simply.

 

The goggle-headed boy's brow furrowed. “Hey! I'm not an elf!”

 

“Of course you're not, you ungrateful little heathen.” Sasha drawled as he spun Raz around and pushed him gently in the direction of the gift's intended receiver “Now shoo.”

 

Raz stumbled forward, then paused to turn and stick his tongue out at Sasha. With that, he marched across the room towards the agent Sasha had pointed to. “Um, excuse me?” The boy asked, interupting the agents conversation.

 

Shive blinked, glancing down at Raz. “Hm? What is it, Razputin?” Shive was a man in his mid-thirties, whom had the kind of appearance you'd expect from a lawyer, wearing a nice suit with neatly trimmed hair and thin-rimmed glasses. In spite of this, however, Shive was known for laughing loud and often, and was actually quite friendly.

 

“Um...uh...” Raz shifted, then held Sasha's gift in front of him, forcing a wide smile. “Merry Christmas! Your secret Santa asked me to deliver this to you!”

 

“Huh, really?” Shive grinned, taking the gift. “Well, thanks, Raz.”

 

“You're welcome. Good luck trying to figure out who it's from.” Raz said, grinning back.

 

Shive snorted. “Shouldn't be too hard...oh, before you go, could you deliver mine?” He asked, pulling out a small package.

 

Raz blinked, then groaned, shoulders slumping. “Who's it for?”

 

“Agent Kowalski.” Shive said with a smile. “Thanks, Razputin!”

 

Raz sighed, then forced a smile and headed off.

 

Meanwhile, Lili was glancing through the crowds, searching for Raz. “Gah...where is he?” She muttered after a moment, stomping her foot. She really just wanted to give him his present...screw the whole secret Santa thing, she worked way too damn hard for him to not know she got it for him.

 

“Lili!”

 

The brunette blinked, turning to see Milla standing there, dressed in a tight red top, a black mini-skirt, and a Santa hat. “My, aren't we festive.” Lili drawled, crossing her arms before her.

 

Milla sighed, shaking her head, the little bells on her earrings ringing with the motion. “Come now darling, I know these silly businessmen can make things kind of dull...but that just means we have to liven up the party, hm?”

 

“No thanks.” Lili snorted.

 

“Come on, Lili, where's your Christmas Spirit?” Milla chirped.

 

Lili just stared blankly at her.

 

Meanwhile, Raz was rushing past, carrying yet another gift. As he was walking along, however, he noticed Lili. His eyes widened and he promptly ducked behind the tree, praying she wouldn't see him. Fortunately for him, however, she seemed at least mildly interested in her conversation with Milla at the moment, a conversation which Raz only just barely caught...

 

“Oh...now listen, darling...I know things can be tough around this time of year, what with your father being so busy...and I know Christmas doesn't exactly hold the best memories for you--”

 

Lili snorted at this. “Milla, my mom left on Christmas Day. Said she never wanted to see my dad again during an argument and just left...just like that. She never came back” The brunette murmured, her eyes dark with painful memories.

 

Milla winced. “Oh darling...I know. It must have been terrible...” The woman placed her hand gently on Lili's shoulder. “But...that was then, this is now. You have a chance to make new memories now...good ones.”

 

Lili bit her lip, looking away. “Why? I've tried...stuff like that just...doesn't work out for me.”

 

“Lili, darling--”

 

“Hey, Lili!” Truman suddenly called, cutting Milla off. He walked over briskly, taking his daughter by the wrist. “Can you help pass out secret Santa gifts?”

 

“Uh...” Lili stuttered.

 

“Ah, Truman, sweetie--” Milla began, but was cut off.

 

“Great! Come on!” Truman beamed, pulling his daughter off in the direction of other agents. Milla watched in silence for a moment, then sighed and walked away as well.

 

Raz, meanwhile, remained behind the tree, eyes wide. “...Oh my gosh...” He murmured. “Lili...”

 

Well, this certainly explained a lot. Like why Lili hated Christmas so much...but how could he change that?

 

He stood in shock for a moment, so stunned he couldn't move. After a few moments he shook his head, making as if to come out from behind the tree.

 

“Okay, now what should I--”

 

“Hey, Raz!” An agent called out. “Come on, what about those gifts!?”

 

Raz let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Alright, alright! I'm going!” With that, he ran off in the opposite direction of Lili.

 

The two continued dashing this way and that across the room, delivering gifts with forced smiles and well-wishes before they were off yet again.

 

“Damnit...” Lili muttered as she shuffled across the room for what seemed like the millionth time, lugging along yet another gift. “Where the hell is Raz!?”

 

“Damnit...” Raz muttered as he stumbled down a staircase, gifts in hand. “What am I supposed to do!?”

 

Finally, after what seemed like hours, all of the gifts had been delivered. The moment his task was complete Raz considered flopping into his chair...but it was then that he spotted Lili across the room, handing off a gift with a dour nod. “Aha!” He exclaimed, a grin coming to his face. His gfrin fell as he realized something, however.

 

He still didn't have a gift.

 

And of course, Lili chose that exact moment to turn and finally spot him, her eyes lighting up the moment they fell upon him. “Raz!” She called out, rushing across the room towards him.

 

“Lili!” Raz called back with not quite as much enthusiasm, forcing a grin. Oh man, what was he going to do!?”

 

The two met in the middle of the floor, both slightly disheveled from running this way and that playing “Santa's little helpers”. Both panted for breath a moment, Lili smiling, Raz trying his best to hide his inner panic.

 

“Raz...I'm so glad I finally found you, I've been looking everywhere for you!” Lili gasped out.

 

“O-oh, really? Heh...great...sorry...I've been everywhere..er...delivering secret Santa gifts.” Raz replied weakly.

 

“Really? Me too! What a pain, huh?” Lili asked.

 

“Uh-uh...yeah...”

 

The too stood in silence for a moment.

 

“So..um...anyway...not like it's a big deal or anything...” Lili paused, reaching into her jacket.

 

Raz's eyes widened. 'Oh no...'

 

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “But you know...I really hate secrets, so...”

 

'Oh God I am so screwed!'

 

Lili gave a small smile. “I'm your--”

 

“Agent Aquato!”

 

Both Raz and Lili jumped, spinning around to see Truman striding across the floor at an insanely face pace.

 

“Dad!?” Lili sputtered.

 

“Mr.Zanotto, sir?” Raz blinked, giving a salute on automatic.

 

Truman came to a stop before the two of them, his expression grave. “Seems there's some sort of crisis going on up in Canada, it's an emergency. Most of my other agents are already busy, and the rest don't really have the right requirements,...Agent Aquato, I'm afraid you've been assigned to the case.”

 

Both Raz and Lili stood in shock for a moment.

 

“...What!?” Lili cried.

 

“...You...on the holidays...sir?” Raz sputtered weakly.

 

Truman let out a sigh. “I'm sorry you two...I hate to send you away on the holidays, Razputin. But really, I don't have anyone else I can send at the moment.” He explained, looking as if he was truly, honestly sorry. “You won't be alone, Agent's Nein and Vodello have already been informed that they will be going as well.

 

“But...you're sending my boyfriend away!? On Christmas?” Lili shrieked, her hands balling into fists at her sides.

 

Truman winced. “I'm sorry Lili, he's the only agent I have for this kind of--”

 

“That's not fair!” Lili screamed. “How could you!? It wasn't good enough to never be around for me, now you have to take my boyfriend too!?”

 

Her father said nothing, though hurt was clearly written across his face.

 

“...It's okay, Lili” Raz finally said.

 

Lili spun to glare at him. “What do you mean it's okay!? No, it is not okay! It's--”

 

“Lili...I'm a Psychonaut, remember?” Raz said, giving a small, sad smile. “It's my job. You shouldn't be mad at your dad...he's just doing his.”

 

The brunette was quiet, staring at him with wide amber eyes as she searched for something, anything, that would make her boyfriend stay. 'Don't go! Don't you dare go!' she wanted to scream.

 

But she knew she couldn't.

 

“...I suggest you pack your bags, Agent Aquato. Your plane leaves tonight.” Truman said quietly before turning and walking away.

 

Raz and Lili stood in silence for a few moments, neither looking each other in the eye. Finally, after a few seconds, Lili thrust toward a thin, tightly wrapped gift, her head hanging low so Raz couldn't actually see her expression.

 

“Here,” She snapped.

 

Raz blinked at the gift for a moment. Then he smiled, shook his head, and pushed it back. “No. You keep it.”

 

Lili's face snapped up, her eyes narrowing. “Raz--”

 

“No. You keep your secret and I'll keep mine, okay?” He said, still smiling. “We'll unwrap them Christmas morning...okay?”

 

The brunette stared at him, her face one of utter, total despair. In her experience with missions, they always took at least more than a week. “But...you won't...”

 

“I'll be home in time.” Raz said quietly.

 

Silence for a few moments. Then, wordlessly, Lili stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend and burying her face in his chest. Raz let out a soft sigh, encircling her in his own arms, entwining her hair between his fingers, eyes falling closed and wishing he could just stay like this, in this moment.

 

But he couldn't.

 

After several seconds passed Lili finally pulled away, biting her lip. “Promise me you'll be back in time?”

 

Raz beamed and nodded. “You bet. Wouldn't miss it for the world”

 

“...Say it?”

 

The goggle-headed boy stood there for a moment. Then he grinned, giving a light salute. “Scouts honor.” With that, he turned and walked away, the party still bustling around him. “Don't worry,” He added over his shoulder.

 

“I'll be home for Christmas, I promise!”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Aiiiee, I'm so sorry everyone! I'm so behind..school has been piling me with work these last few days. Fortunately, tomorrow is the last day...I'm planning to somehow get myself caught up before the day this ends...uweeeh, wish me luck!

 

I meant for this to be up Tuesday, but obviously due to work and this being a really annoying chapter to write, that didn't happen. I really don't think it was worth the wait...but eh, as long as someone enjoys it. It really doesn't have much of a plot...just the Asylum characters having...er..."Christmas", yeah...it's actually really bad, I'm sorry. I'll try to get the others up soon, I promise!

 

In the meantime...er...try not to be scarred by my first attempt at writing the asylum characters!

 

Day Nineteen: An Asylum Carol

 

“Why am I doing this?” Crispin Whytehead muttered under his breath. Bits of ice and snow clung to his long, scraggly blue hair, a slightly beat up winter coat pulled over his small frame. The seemingly permanent scowl upon his face deepened as he reached up to ring the doorbell of the small house yet again.

 

“Perhaps I have the wrong street.” The pale man murmured, sounding oddly hopeful over such a prospect. “I do have quite poor eyesight, it's not as if the old bloke could blame me if I didn't-”

 

It was at that moment that the door finally swung open, revealing the slightly flushed face of a tall, large-nosed man in his late twenties. “I'm so sorry for the wait!” He panted out, the bell at the end of his fuzzy Santa hat jingling with each small movement. His jovial face became one of surprise, however, as he realized whom he had kept waiting. “Crispin!?”

 

“Bonaparte.” Crispin grunted, somehow able to communicate years of dislike into three syllables.

 

“What...what are you doing here?” Fred sputtered.

 

Crispin cocked an eyebrow at him. “You're the one who sent me the bloody invitation, weren't you?” He drawled, flicking his wrist to show a slightly beat-up, festive envelope.

 

It wasn't as if he wanted to be there or anything. As if he would actually willingly come see Bonaparte! He just...didn't have anywhere else to go...

 

Fred blinked at the envelope. “W-well, yes, but I didn't think you'd actually...” He then shook his head, a grin coming to his face. “Sorry, I'm just so surprised to see you! Come in, come in!” He ushered the much shorter man through the doorway, calling over his shoulder as he did so.

 

“GUYS! Crispin's here!” He called out.

 

Crispin made a face. “'Guys'?” He repeated. “Who else did you invite?”

 

“Oh, just everyone else from Thorney Towers~!” Said Fred jovially as he herded Crispin down the hallway.

 

Crispin blanched. “Everyone?” He repeated weakly.

 

“Yup~!” With that, Crispin was shoved into Fred's living room.

 

The place was decked out for the holidays, garlands and lights draped everywhere, the Christmas tree against one wall a true sight to behold. A fire was crackling in the fireplace, creating a warm, soothing atmosphere. Seated on the couch were Edgar and Boyd, Edgar laughing as he helped himself to a glass of eggnog and Boyd twitching as he stared at the reindeer antlers upon the artists head. Gloria was seated across from them in an arm chair and was laughing gaily as well, tinsel and holly weaved through her hair.

 

Their laughter paused, however, when Crispin stumbled in. In fact, all fell awkwardly silent, save for the crackling fire, as Crispin straightened himself off and glanced around irritably.

 

“...It's that blue-haired man! He's connected with the talking snowman, I know it!” Boyd sputtered, jumping to his feet and pointing shakily at Crispin. “Well, he can stand there, I'm not fooled by his jolly, happy soul!”

 

Crispin stared blankly at him.

 

Gloria blinked, then squinted at Crispin. “Who's that now, another fan? I'm sorry darling, but I'm on vacation now, you'll have to wait until later for an autograph.” She drawled, waving a glass of brandy around.

 

Edgar's eyes narrowed. “No, I do not believe he is a fan, Gloria. If I'm not mistaken, this man is one of our former patrons.”

 

“Hello to you too, Edgar.” Crispin said dryly, folding his arms before him. “And may I mention that you all seem no more bloody sane than the last time I was...fortunate enough to be graced with your visages.”

 

“Ah, good old Crispin, cheerful as always.” Fred laughed as he came in, ducking so as to not hit his head on the doorframe. Most houses were really just not tall enough for him, but Fred made do.

 

Crispin rolled his eyes, then slumped into the nearest empty chair, ignoring Boyd's babbling about how that chair had just been sat in and needed to recharge. “Well, now what, Bonaparte?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow at the man.

 

“Yes, now what?” Gloria asked, beaming, apparently oblivious to the way Edgar was still glaring at Crispin like he wanted nothing better than to cause some serious hurt.

 

“Um...well...I was thinking...maybe..uh...we could...well, hm, what's Christmas Spirit-y?” Fred frowned thoughtfully.

 

“Oh, I know!” Gloria chirped. “Christmas Carols!”

 

Fred snapped his fingers and beamed. “That's a great idea, Gloria!”

 

“No.” Crispin snapped. “No singing. Ever.”

 

Edgar twitched, grinding his teeth together.

 

Fred's face fell. “Well...um...we could...play a game?”

 

“I don't like games.” Crispin snapped.

 

“Pumpernickel!” Boyd suddenly shouted. Everyone ignore him.

 

“Um...okay then...” Fred gave a nervous laugh, scratching his head. “How about...um...a movie?”

 

“I don't like movies.” Crispin snapped yet again.

 

Edgar let out a loud stream of cursing in Spanish and jumped to his feet. “Oh for the love of...it's Christmas! NAVIDAD! Can't you think of anything you actually like besides sitting there and glaring!?” He snarled.

 

Crispin stared at him for a moment.

 

“Well now, I'm sorry Edgar, but I'm afraid I don't bloody like Christmas.” He drawled in a false, mockingly polite sort of manner. “Do you have some...ah, anger issues you'd like to work out over this? Perhaps go paint a few bulls?”

 

Edgar let out a roar, his face turning bright red as he made as if to charge across the room.

 

Fred yelped and rushed over. “Uh, uh, come on Edgar, I think the food's nearly ready! How about you come help, hm?” He babbled nervously, ushering the burly ex-wrestler out of the living room and hitting his head on the way out.

 

The two stood in the hallway, Fred rubbing the spot where he'd bonked his head and Edgar panting as he sought control over his anger. “Fred, why did you invite that...man?” Edgar finally asked, his glare still remaining fixated on Crispin. “Need I remind you he caused you more trouble than the rest of us combined?”

 

Fred winced. “Well...yeah...” He kicked absently at the rug. “But...well...you know...it's Christmas. I kind of figured...you know, he's a bit like us, doesn't have anyone for the holidays. No matter how much of a jerk he was to us, no one should be alone on Christmas.”

 

“Unless they're a nasty little bastard like him.” Edgar snarled.

 

Fred let out a sigh. “Edgar, it's Christmas. Just...come on, deal with it. After everything we all went through, we're all kind of like...y'know, family. Even him. And hey, maybe after awhile he'll...warm up a bit?”

 

Edgar stared blankly at him for a moment.

 

“Well, okay, probably not. But just try to get along, alright?” Fred asked.

 

“...Fine. But I won't like it.”

 

It was then that a loud cry was heard from the living room, followed by a crash. Both Fred and Edgar's eyes widened and they rushed back into the room, Fred once again banging his head against the doorframe. After the stars managed to clear from his vision, Fred beheld an...interesting sight, to say the least.

 

It was utter pandemonium. Boyd stood upon the coffee table, babbling incoherently as he tossed milk bottles this way and that. Gloria was dancing around them, giggling to herself, apparently too drunk to realize exactly what was going on. Crispin stood watching them both, gaping in bewilderment.

 

“Gah!” Fred cried, shielding his head as a milk bottle flew past. “What the...what happened!?”

 

“How should I know!?” Crispin snapped, shielding his head as well. “All I said was something about Santa Clause and the crazy sod just suddenly jumped up and started screaming about how his milk was delicious and it wasn't fortified for dear old saint nick! Then quite suddenly the girl gets up too and starts dancing, babbling about her Aunt Barbara coming to see her for some bloody Christmas play! Last I checked, I was not an aunt.”

 

“THE EGGNOG LIES! FILTHY IMPOSTER! DO NOT LISTEN TO IT, ONLY MILK IS ENRICHED!” Boyd ranted.

 

“What on earth?” Edgar sputtered, gaping at the scene. He then let out a cry as Gloria quite suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a dance, giggling. “Senorita!?” The artist cried. “What are you--”

 

“Oh, come now Gregory, don't be shy~!” Gloria drawled. “I know I'm famous now, but that doesn't mean we can't have a dance to ourselves once and awhile, hm? Consider it my Christmas present.”

 

Edgar was too flabbergasted to do much but follow her lead.

 

Meanwhile, Fred was trying his best to calm everyone down. “Alright, come on guys, this is Christmas! Relax, this was just supposed to be-- Boyd, would you stop that!? Where the hell did you get those bottles anyway!?” He demanded.

 

“THE BRITISH ARE COMING!” Boyd babbled.

 

Unfortunately, that proved to be the exact wrong choice of words. Upon hearing them Fred suddenly froze, his eye twitching. Then, without warning...

 

“Zey chivelinistic pigs shall never take me ALIVE!” Fred cried out. With that, he made a dive for the window. Unfortunately, Crispin happened to be in the way, so Fred ended up mowing the snide little British man into the nearest wall with a heavy thud.

 

The two lay on the floor for a few moments as chaos raged around them. Then Fred sat up, eyes wide and his Santa hat askew. “Oh my God! Crispin!” He cried, leaning over short man. “I'm so sorry! Are you okay?”

 

Crispin lay in silence for a moment. Then, without warning, he started laughing. Fred sat back, blinking in confusion as Crispin began to shake with laughter, a wide, slightly twisted smile coming to his face.

 

“Oh my...I've always hated the holidays, but this is a Christmas.” Crispin cackled, laughing so hard tears came to his eyes, nearly drowning out the sound of a milk bottle shattering in the background. “My God...you are all such bloody idiots...ahahaha...why haven't we all been shoved back into that damn tower yet?”

 

Fred stared at him for a moment. Then he gave a small chuckle, pulling Crispin up so they were sitting side by side. He then glanced back to his remaining guests.

 

“The elves! I know they're in this somehow!” Boyd babbled from on top of the coffee table. Edgar went speeding by, trying desperately to shake Gloria off, whom was clinging to his back with one arm in the air as if she were bull-riding.

 

“GONDALA! GONDALA!” She cackled.

 

“Uh, I don't think that's the word you want, Gloria...” Fred said weakly, but went ignored. He let out a sigh, then smiled and reached out to grab the miraculously still-to-be-spilled eggnog carton. He took a swig, then offered some to Crispin, whom rolled his eyes and took the carton.

 

“Well...I can't quite be sure why we all haven't been locked up yet.” Fred said with a shrug. “Probably because we don't have any other friends or family or anything to report us...”

 

Crispin snorted, muttering a quiet agreement under his breath.

 

“But hey...at least we can all be somewhat sane on the outside together.” Fred said, cracking a good-natured grin.

 

Crispin stared blankly at him a moment. “You're an idiot, Bonaparte.” He finally drawled, taking another swig of eggnog before handing it back to Fred.

 

“And you're an asshole, Crispin, but we deal with you anyway.” Fred chuckled.

 

“Merry Christmas, Crispin.”

 

“...Merry Christmas, Fred.”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

So I have five drabbles to write in two days, not counting Christmas itself.

 

...This should be interesting.

 

So right, here's the first chapter of my panicky“Oh-God-I-Am-Three-Days-Behind!” update day. I'm not sure how well it came out...just remember to follow the rule one much always follow when reading G-Men quotes, it must be in monotone.

 

Day Twenty: A Very G-Men Christmas

 

“I am a grieving widow. Why God why?”

 

The G-men's monotone chorus of grief rang through the graveyard in a certain, rather twisted area of the suburbs. The tall men in their typical trenchcoats wandered in front of gravestones, carrying long-wilted flowers and playing air guitar with them. They were still looking for the milkman, and they still didn't know where he was.

 

As the “widows” continued their grieving, a lone rainbow squirt happened past, humming to herself as she skipped along.

 

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the...” She trailed off as she happened past the graveyard, pausing to watch the G-men “grieve”. Now, this rainbow squirt was rather new, and wasn't quite yet initiated to what exactly was going on there in suburbs. Thus, she was incredibly puzzled, and this time she decided to voice her puzzlement.

 

“Why are you trying to play guitar with those flowers?”

 

“I am a grieving widow.” A G-man explained simply.

 

“You've been grieving for a month straight now. Don't you ever have to...you know, go to the bathroom?” The rainbow squirt asked.

 

“I wish my loved one were not dead and in the ground, but here and alive.” The G-man said.

 

The rainbow squirt cocked her head to the side, large eyes blinking in confusion. “I don't see why you're so sad...I mean, Christmas is coming soon!”

 

At this the G-man paused in his “grieving”, blinking in confusion as well. “Christmas?”

 

“Yeah! You know, the holidays? Gift-giving, family, food, Santa Clause?” The rainbow squirt asked.

 

The G-man stared at her for a moment. Then his head opened up and several microphones popped out. “Tell me more of this...Christmas.”

 

And so, the Rainbow Squirt, apparently oblivious to the microphones, began to talk.

 

A few hours later found that particular G-man wandering the sidewalks with a Santa hat placed upon his head, ringing a bell as he walked along.

 

“What are you doing? You are a grieving widow. You are supposed to be wishing that your loved one were still alive.” A road crew worker said, walking over.

 

“No, I am not a grieving widow.” The first G-man stated. “I am a sidewalk Santa Clause. By merely standing here and waving this bell, I make others feel guilty and donate useless pocket change. I wear a rental suit that smells of ham and vomit. I really wish I had graduated so I could do something with my life beyond standing on this street corner waving a bell. I spread Christmas Cheer.”

 

“...Christmas?” The road crew worker repeated, confused as well. “What is this...Christmas?”

 

And so the story was spread to the road crew workers, whom then spread it to the sewer workers, whom then told it to the hedge trimmers, and soon enough the entirety of the secret agents had been informed of this mysterious “Christmas” business. Thus, in hopes to blend in a bit more, the G-men all changed their roles for these...”holidays”, as they were called.

 

“I am a Christmas tree.” One G-man declared, wielding a pine branch as if it were a cutlass. “I smell much like the air fresheners hung in cars. My branches are uneven. I seem to be shedding needles. I am too pointy. Soon, a family may come, chop me down, and take me to sit in their living room to die a slow death.”

 

Another G-man rushed past this one, wearing an empty shopping bag. “I am a last minute shopper. Why oh why did I wait until now? Though I have had ample time to find gifts, I have procrastinated, and now find myself panicking. The mall is a nightmare on Christmas Eve. That salesworker lady has large breasts. I do not particularly care for the holidays, but I must find objects to offer to my loved ones out of social obligation.”

 

Several G-men were gathered at street corners, waving their carol booklets as if they were wings. “We are Christmas Carolers. Jingle bells, jingle bells. Though many of us are tune deaf, we continue to spread Christmas cheer. Most citizens find us to be aggravating, but this is because they do not have Christmas spirit. Many of our songs are religious. The lyrics are ';round yon virgin', not 'Ronjohn Virgin'. Though we cannot feel our toes, our hearts are warm. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la.”

 

Meanwhile, the housewife G-men were hard at work, cooking at top speed. “I am making pie. The holidays are a stressful time. I really wish someone would give me a hand. I am likely to only receive dollar store jewelry and chocolates for Christmas yet again. Though I remain unappreciated, the holidays are still a time for family and friends.”

 

A few of the rainbow squirts wandered the streets at this time, appearing positively baffled as they passed a “street Santa” mumbling in monotone.

 

“What....what's going on?” One of them squeaked.

 

“It seems...yet another one of THE SECRETS has been released to THEM!” Another shrieked.

 

The rainbow squirts all gave simultaneous screams. After a few moments they all quieted again and just stood there.

 

“...What are THE SECRETS, anyway?” One rainbow squirt finally asked.

 

Another shrugged.

 

“Come, sisters! The Den Mother already has the cookies...we must bring...THE MILK!” A rainbow squirt declared. The little girls all gave cries of agreement and began their march back to their mistress.

 

Sure, those creepy guys in trenchcoats were scary, but they had other things to worry about. Like protecting the milk.

 

And so the G-men continued their preparations and celebrating of their first holiday ever without incident. Well, except for that one housewife G-man who finally snapped and attacked a Hedgeworker-turned-Christmas-Tree, but we aren't supposed to talk about that.

 

After some time of this holiday business, a lone sewer worker was seen walking down the street, a pile of gifts in hand.

 

“Where are you going?” A Street Santa asked.

 

“I am going to the Sewer Worker Union Christmas Party.” The Sewer Worker explained. “I do not enjoy these parties, but I must go anyway to show my support of the union.”

 

“Oh. Well, ho ho ho, Merry Christmas.” The Street Santa said dully as he spoke into his bell like a microphone.

 

The Sewer Workers all gathered on a random street corner, where a table had been set out and piled with pies, as that was all the housewife G-men actually knew how to make. Various G-men stood around conversing with each other in monotone.

 

“I hope to leave as soon as possible. I would not want to miss Desperate Housewives.” One declared.

 

“Yes, agreed. The food is bad, I am glad I ate fattening fast food before I came.” Another stated.

 

It was then that a third Sewer Worker popped in, carrying two gifts. “Hello, fellow sewer workers. Though you both smell of excrement, you still deserve my respect, and thus I bought you both presents.”

 

“Hurray.” Both G-men said dully, taking their gifts. With mechanical movements they both opened them, revealing half of a computer keyboard and a bent beer can respectively.

 

“Oh, thank you. It is lovely.” The first said.

 

“Yes, I do love my gift. My excitement makes the ridiculous amount of money wasted on it all worth it.” The second stated.

 

“Yes, indeed. Now let us eat, drink, and be merry.”

 

And so all the G-men, the Street Santa's, the Christmas Trees, the Last-Minute Shoppers, and even the Hosuewives, sat down for their holiday meal of pie. They all particularly enjoyed the rhubarb pie, in spite of it being a controversial pie flavor. More gifts were given, and there were monotone exclamations of excitement, happiness, and...love all around.

 

Thus, the first G-men Christmas came to pass. It was a...holly, jolly Christmas. Sort of.

 

And in the words of the Tiny Tim G-man,

 

“God bless us, everyone.”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Rain Woman]

Double post, sorry. Read the next one.

[Rain Woman]

Well, since no one else is bothering to reply to you, I will. Great job! Hilarious little drabblets! I love stories about the camp kids most of all, and you portray them all perfectly. I hope to see more of them. And the whole "Sasha Vs. the Lights" thing was hilarious.

 

I sure hope Raz will be home for Christmas...although it's probably safe to say that he will be, right? You wouldn't diappoint your audience, would you?

 

And regarding chapter 15: If you make any money off of this fic, you owe me royalties!

 

 

"This game will blow your mind...out of your nose." - ad for Psychonauts

[Digitaldreamer]

Why, thank you. ^^

 

I highly doubt I'll be making any money off of this fic, but worry not, if I do you'll get a cut, as will Darth Ave and a few others. X3

[Digitaldreamer]

Sorry for the double post (yet again) but here's the next chapter!

 

When you're reading this, be sure to the listen to the Grinch song. If you don't have a copy you can listen over here. Just be sure to do that, okay?

 

Right, onward!

 

Day Twenty-One: The Grinch Who Didn't Steal Christmas

 

Though a bustling place during the day, the mall was eerily quiet at night. Metal gates were drawn over the doorways of stores and restaurants, shining in the moonlight that streamed down from skylights. Christmas lights hung everywhere, though they were slightly depressing to look at when they were off. Displays of Santa, his elves, and his reindeer seemed rather lonely without shoppers around to spare them glances as they rushed to get shopping done.

 

All was quiet and still. Then, quite suddenly, there was a barely audioable squeaking noise. This lasted for a few seconds, then a small “pop” was heard.

 

Then, like an angel of death, a person clad in red and white with a Grinch mask pulled over their face lowered down from a hole in the skylight. The person alighted upon the ground with ease, then snapped off the rope they had used to come down and glanced around.

 

“Hm...these will do.” The person behind the mask murmured, their voice slightly muffled. He (or was it a she?) gave a soft chuckle and began making their way towards the stores, humming as he/she did so.

 

“You're a mean one, Mister Grinch~! You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as slimy as an eel-”

 

“You know,” A voice suddenly spoke. “If you're that tone deaf, you really shouldn't be singing, even if a good portion of that song is true.”

 

The person in the Grinch mask froze. “Who's there!?”

 

The lights flipped on to reveal Raz, Sasha, and Milla standing before the Christmas tree.

 

“Reports of various burglaries and attacks made on various citizens have been made over the past few days. Though little to no evidence has been left, few have claimed to have seen the mysterious culprit clad in a Grinch costume.” Sasha stated.

 

“However, psychic investigation has revealed psychic frequencies all over the place...and your aura seems to match them all perfectly, darling.” Milla declared, hands on her hips.

 

“For a psychic criminal you don't seem to have any idea what you're doing. You may as well have left a great, big, bright neon sign saying you did it!” Raz snorted.

 

The one in the Grinch costume watched them for a moment. Then they started laughing. “Oh, Razputin, you have no idea...”

 

Raz's brow furrowed. “How do you know my name?” He asked.

 

The Grinch continued to cackle. “None of you have any idea at all, do you?”

 

Sasha frowned. “What are you talking about?”

 

The Grinch giggled for another moment, then spoke. “Don't you get it? This is a trap. I knew if I acted out, you three would be the only agents Truman could send at this time. I left clues, knowing full well how easily they could be tracked. I wanted you to come here, all for one reason....“I'm going to kill you here, do you understand me!? KILL YOU, AHAHAHA!”

 

Sasha stared at the costumed criminal for a moment. “You know, death threats truly stopped being frightening to me quite awhile ago.”

 

“Same here, darling.” Milla said with a yawn.

 

“Really? I think they're kind of entertaining, the way they cackle and rant on and on. They don't even notice you're having a conversation right in front of them.” Raz drawled nonchalantly.

 

“SILENCE!” The Grinch screamed again. “I'm going to kill you! Kill you all! You will all beg for mercy before I'm done! And once you're gone, I'll go on to your precious agency, do you hear me!?”

 

“Oh please.” Raz snorted, rolling his eyes. “The whole monologuing thing? So isn't working with the costume.”

 

The Grinch let out a scream of rage. “You think it's funny, do you!? Well then, taste this!” With that, the costume-clad criminal let forth an explosion of bright green Psi-blasts.

 

Raz's eyes widened. “Whoa!” He, Sasha, and Milla scattered as the blinding neon blasts ricocheted this way and that way through the mall, smashing windows and shattering displays.

 

Raz knocked over a light-up reindeer as he skidded through fake snow, eyes narrowed as he glanced around for his opponant. “Where is he?” He muttered. He then let out a shout as he was hit with a boot from behind, sending him flying into a wall.

 

“Oooohh...you're a monster, Mister Grinch~!” The one in the costume sang, a confusion gernade appearing in hand. The costume-glad criminal then pulled off the period and tossed it in Milla's direction, letting out a giggle as it exploded. “Your heart's an empty hooooole~!”

 

“Oh...wow...disco lights...” Milla mumbled as she stumbled around in a daze.

 

“Your brain's full of spiders,” The criminal continued to sing as they avoided a blast from Sasha, then ducked under Razputin's psychic fist. “You've got garlic in your soul! Mister Griiiiiiiinch~!” The grinch then spun around and hit them with two psi-blasts, sending the boys slamming into each other.

 

“Ow...” Raz groaned as Sasha stumbled to his feet, his sunglasses askew.

 

The Grinch let out a cackle, preparing yet another blast to finish them off. “I wouldn't-- EEEEEEEEEK!” The next line of the song was cut off with a girly scream when Milla suddenly came dropping from the sky. The Brazilian Psychonaut's face was one of determination as she sent a swift kick into the Grinch's stomach, then snatched off the mask.

 

“That's what you get for—” Milla paused, eyes widening. “Oh my gosh...”

 

“Tessie!?” Raz sputtered, his eyes wide.

 

Indeed, with the mask gone, the one in the costume proved to be none other than Tessie, her pink hair pulled back into a bun, her ordinarily grinning face twisted into a look of rage.

 

“Wha...what!?” She sputtered.

 

“...I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.” Sasha finished the line “the Grinch” had been about to say almost unconsciously.

 

Tessie's eyes narrowed. “Shut up!” She snapped. “Yes, it's me! I told you I would be back, didn't I!?”

 

“Well, yeah, sure, but we were also pretty sure it was an empty threat.” Raz said.

 

Tessie shook with rage. “Well, it wasn't! I'm back, and now I'm going to make you pay!” She declared.

 

“Oh really?” Sasha asked, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“Yes, really!” The pink-haired girl hissed. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to sneak into Psychonauts Headquarters and hack into my file!? It was just my luck that it happened to be Christmastime! Truman was so busy, he hardly even noticed that the one who volunteered to be the head of the decorating committee was a face he had never seen before! I hate Christmas, but it was going to all be worth it! I was going to take down the agency all by my lonesome from the inside! FROM THE INSIDE!”

 

“Uh huh. And I bet you would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for us meddling kids, right?” Raz asked with a grin.

 

Tessie let out a sound of outrage, which only made Raz grin more.

 

“So let me get this straight. I'm missing Christmas with my girlfriend all for this?” Raz continued, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

 

“Oh, you'll be missing more than Christmas, Razputin. I'm going to--”

 

“Look, I really don't care how you're going to kill me or whatever.” Raz stated, cutting her off. “To put it simply, I have better things to do...so let's preform the nutcracker, shall we?” He said, getting back into an attack position.

 

Tessie let out another shriek and sent forth another explosion of Psi-blasts, the bursts of green flying this way and that, taking out sections of the tree and frying strands of lights.

 

By the time the energy finally cleared, the Psychonauts were gone. Tessie's eyes widened and she glanced around nervously, breathing heavily. “Where did they-- GAH!” She let out a shriek as a bright crimson Psi-blast suddenly slammed into her, sending her flying in the air.

 

“Oooh, you're a vile one, Mister Grinch~!” Raz sang, a mischievous grin coming to his face.

 

Tessie let out a yelp as she hit the floor and skidded across it. She finally came to a stop and glanced up to see Sasha standing there. She let out a low growl and stumbled back, preparing a blast, but Sasha was quicker. A pale blue psi-blast sent her flying across the room with another shriek.

 

“Come on Sasha, next line!” Raz prodded.

 

Sasha rolled his eyes. “You have termites in your smile.” He sang dully.

 

Milla let out a giggle as Tessie stumbled to her feet before her, the pink-haired girls eyes widening as she recognized the smoking, sickening green yellow object in the Brazilian Psychonauts hand.

 

“Sorry, darling...” Milla plucked the period off of the question mark. “But you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Miiiiiiister Griiiiiinch~!” At this she tossed the confusion grenade and stepped back just in time to avoid the cloud of green-yellow gas that exploded forth.

 

Tessie coughed and hacked as she stumbled round in a daze, her green eyes glazed over. “What...what...no...this isn't...no...” She moaned. “I can't...” The pink-haired girl clutched at her head, groaning.

 

By the time her vision had cleared, Raz, Sasha, and Milla were standing triumphantly before her.

 

“Tessie, if that is your real name, you are hereby under arrest for breaking and entering, assault, and plenty of other things I cannot be bothered to list at the moment.” Sasha declared.

 

Tessie let out a snarl. “Why you--”

 

“You have the right to remain silent, darling. Anything you say in court can and will be used against you.” Milla said cheerfully.

 

“YOU!” Tessie roared, preparing another Psi-blast.

 

“Here, let me help you with the whole 'remaining silent' deal.” Raz smirked, pulling back his fist as orange psychic energy began to form.

 

Tessie's eyes widened, feeling a tinge of fear. “Oh...”

 

“Well, Tessie, as the song goes...” Raz began lazily. “Given the choice between the two of you...”

 

“I'd take the sea-sick crocodile~!” All three psychics sang.

 

With that, Raz's psychic fist connected with Tessie, and the pink-haired grinch knew no more.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[DylanMay]

No one in my family can figure out now why I yell "PUMPERNICKEL, GONDOLA GONDOLA!" every time they try singing Christmas carols.

[Digitaldreamer]

...That makes me laugh so very much. XD

 

Whew, finally almost caught up! What a relief...

 

Um...not much else to say...uh...oh! I do hope all you fans of a certain pairing enjoy this chapter...

 

Day Twenty-Two: Of Gifts and Mistletoe

 

It didn't take very long for the agents to get Tessie handcuffed and in the back of the police car, though it did take a good amount of effort not to stand in the snow and wave as the psychotic woman was carted away. It didn't take very long for the three psychics to gather their bags from their hotel rooms either, though the trip through the airport and the fight to get the next plane back to New York was another story. But at last, it was all complete and Milla currently sat in one of the slightly uncomfortable chairs at the airport, tapping her fingers as she gazed out the window.

 

“Here is your bagel.” Sasha said as he came up to her, handing her the rather festive looking baked good. A cup of steaming coffee was held in his own gloved hand.

 

Milla blinked, then flashed a smile as she took the bagel. “Oh, thank you sweetie.” She said with a nod, then took a bite. “Mmm...”

 

Sasha nodded as he took a seat beside leaning, leaning back with a sigh. “What a month...” He muttered.

 

“You're telling me, darling. It's been such a rush...it's so wonderful to just sit down and relax for awhile.” Milla sighed, then glanced around. “Where's Razputin? The plane will be leaving soon.”

 

Sasha shook his head. “I'm not sure. He said he had to take care of a few things.”

 

Milla frowned. “And you let him--”

 

“Milla, he's nearly eleven and he's a Psychonaut. He can take care of himself.” Sasha pointed out.

 

The Brazilian Psychonaut let out a sigh, then smiled. “I suppose you're right. I'll...try not to worry.”

 

“Good,” Said Sasha as he sipped his coffee.

 

The two sat in companionable silence for awhile, content in spite of the typical airport chaos around them.

 

“So...this will be our fifteenth Christmas together.” Milla commented.

 

“Indeed.” Sasha murmured.

 

“Well...it's not like that year in Rome, but I think I'd much prefer to spend Christmas at home.” The Brazillian Psychonaut said cheerily.

 

Sasha gave a small smile. “I suppose you're right. Although any Christmas would be preferred to that year we were stuck in the Amazon rainforest.”

 

Milla chuckled at that. “Indeed. What was it that I gave you that year again, darling?”

 

Sasha snorted. “It was a sweater. A hot pink sweater that you knit yourself that I probably would not have worn even if it hadn't been swelteringly hot.”

 

“Ah yes...” Milla chuckled. “I really am sorry about that, although it was sweet of you to wear it and get heat stroke for me anyway.”

 

“Only for you, Agent Vodello.” Sasha murmured with a small smile, shaking his head.

 

The two shared a small laugh together, though this was interrupted by someone clearing their throat from across the aisle. Both Milla and Sasha paused and turned to see another couple seated across from them, grinning.

 

Sasha's brow furrowed. “Can I help you?”

 

“Well, sorry but...did you guys happen to notice where you're sitting?” The girl asked with a grin. Both Sasha and Milla blinked, then glanced upward.

 

There hung a single sprig of mistletoe.

 

“...Oh Gott.” Sasha murmured.

 

“Oh my!” Milla gasped.

 

“I...we're not...we can't...” Sasha sputtered, glancing from the mistletoe to the couple across from them to Milla and back again.

 

“I...oh my, this is rather...” Milla giggled, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

 

“Come on man, you know you want to.” The guy said with a grin.

 

“It's tradition!” The girl chirped.

 

“I...no I...well, alright, maybe...we're partners, best friends! That's all!” The German Psychonaut exclaimed. “I do not understand why everyone keeps interpreting our relationship as--”

 

“Sasha.”

 

Sasha blinked, glancing over to see Milla smiling.

 

“..I...Milla...” The German Psychonaut murmured, his face growing hot.

 

Milla flushed as well as she brushed a strand of rich chocolate brown behind her ear. “Well...it is tradition, darling...”

 

“...ah...” Sasha muttered articulately.

 

“Come on now...here...” At this Milla reached up and pulled Sasha closer, moving him so their noses were nearly touching. “Just let it all go for a little while, darling...just this once...” Her emerald eyes fluttered closed as she moved in just a bit closer...

 

And they kissed.

 

It was only for a few seconds, and then the two pulled apart, a warm smile on Milla's face. Sasha stood there, frozen, his eyes wide, his face beet red. Finally, after a few seconds, he spoke.

 

“Glaugrgh...” He said articulately.

 

Milla giggled, reaching up to adjust the German Psychonauts sunglasses, as they had fallen askew. “Merry Christmas, Sasha.”

 

“M...Merry Christmas...” Sasha murmured weakly.

 

It was then that Raz finally chose to show up, breathing heavily from running through the airport. “Guys! Guys!” He cried, his green eyes wide with excitement. “I finally found it!”

 

Both Milla and Sasha's eyes widened and they stumbled apart, trying to appear casual.

 

“Guys I...” Raz skidded to a stop, brow furrowing suspiciously. “Did something happen?”

 

“No.”

 

Raz quirked a brow at them.

 

“Um...what did you find, dear?” Milla asked quickly.

 

Fortunately for the two of them, Raz had a notoriously short attention span. His grin returned at full force, his eyes lighting up. “Oh, it's so great!” He exclaimed. “I finally found Lili's Christmas present!”

 

“Really? Darling, that's wonderful!” Milla said.

 

“What did you get her?” Sasha asked.

 

Raz's grin widened, apparently delighted Sasha had asked. “This!” He said, holding up a small, dark green box. He then opened it, showing its contents to Sasha and Milla.

 

“Oh my...” Milla murmured, her eyes wide. “It's gorgeous!”

 

“How were you able to afford that?” Sasha inquired, brow furrowing.

 

“Um...well, let's just say my next few pay checks aren't going to much else.” Raz said, closing the box and putting it in his backpack.

 

“Aw...Razputin, that's so sweet of you.” Milla said with a smile.

 

Raz chuckled. “I just hope she likes it...it'd be nice to see her actually smile for once.”

 

“Well, we'll see, now won't we? At least you'll be able to keep your promise, hm?” Sasha asked.

 

Raz beamed and nodded. “You bet!”

 

It was then, however, that a voice came over the intercom.

 

“May I have your attention please? Due to the blizzard, we are going to have to cancel all of our flights. We will let everyone know when we can start running again. Please do not panic, I promise we will have everyone out of here as soon as possible. We are all terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Merry Christmas!” With that, the intercom clicked off.

 

Silence for a few moments.

 

Then there was a collective explosion of chaos throughout the airport as people swore and jumped from their seats, fighting each other to get to the help desks in an effort to find out when the next flight to leave was.

 

Raz, Sasha, and Milla remained frozen where they were. “Oh man...” Raz murmured, his eyes widening in horror.

 

“Well...that is certainly inconvenient.” Sasha murmured.

 

“Oh my...I hope everything is alright back at headquarters.” Milla said.

 

“Everything? What about Lili? I promised I'd be back by Christmas!” Raz exclaimed.

 

“Well, they did say they'd try to get us out as soon as possible...” Milla said gently.

 

“Actually, this storm is really bad.” A man whom had been passing by commented. “I heard them saying they might not be able to get the planes out until after Christmas.”

 

Both Sasha and Milla winced. They had been through this sort of situation before, but even so, it was never pleasant.

 

Raz let out a groan and fell back in a chair, putting his face in his hands. “Oh man...how am I supposed to keep my promise now?”

 

He received no answer save for the chaos of the airport.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Yes, ahaha! I did it! I caught up, and with thirty minutes and two days to spare!

 

Man, I feel proud.

 

So yeah...um...not much else to say, other than I'm finally caught up, and you can finally start expecting the right updates on the right days again. Not that it really matters since we only have two days left, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

 

Um...right, onward! Oh, be warned, some of you may not get this if you haven't seen the extra cutscene you get if you get 100% completion of the game. Although if you haven't you can probably easily find the cutscene online, so...yeah.

 

Day Twenty-Three: Christmas At Lake Oblongata

 

Linda, the hulking, deformed lungfish of Lake Oblongata glanced around her mucus bubble, her long tail twitching nervously. She had gotten all the suckerfish, crayfish and clams out of her home, going to great effort to make the entire place spotless. A bunch of coral had been arranged into a Christmas tree of sorts, seaweed draped strategically upon it all in an effort to appear festive. The fish was set out on the rock. She had even picked out that necklace made of fishing line and old, shimmering plastic bait and put it on.

 

Yes, yes, everything was ready. All that remained was for him to come.

 

And yes, she could just barely see him now, swimming through the murky waters of Lake Oblongata. A handsome turtle with a golden crown placed upon his head and lovely boots, though in the spirit of the holidays a Santa hat had been draped in a lopsided manner on one of the points of the crown.

 

He stepped into her mucus bubble and shook himself off, then smiled fondly up at her. “Why, hello there baby. You look mighty fine this evening.” He drawled in a smooth, deep voice.

 

The lungfish nearly went weak at the knees right then and there, but managed to stay upright as she smiled shyly. “Hello Sam. Merry Christmas, I'm so glad you could make it.” She gushed.

 

“For you, baby, any time.” The turtle said. “I must say, you look lovely tonight, and you're wearing that pretty necklace too. Have you lost weight?”

 

“Oh, you noticed?” Linda flushed. “I've been on a diet.”

 

“Aw, honey, you didn't need to do that. You know I think you look beautiful no matter what.” Sam declared.

 

“Oh, Sam!” Linda giggled. “Well, come in, come in, I've made us some fish.”

 

“Sounds lovely, baby. Sounds lovely.” The turtle said.

 

And so they sat down and had a nice little feast. The fish was truly lovely, a young trout, just like she knew he loved, and after that they had a lovely little chocolate cake.

 

“Mmm-mmm.” Sam sighed after they had finished. “Your cooking is amazing as always, Linda.”

 

“Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.” Linda said.

 

“I always do, baby, I always do.” Sam drawled. “Now then...I have a little present for you...” At this he pushed a small package out in front of him.

 

“Oh, Sam!” Linda gushed. “You didn't have to!”

 

“Oh, but I did, baby. I did.” Sam drawled. “Now go on and open it, nice and easy.”

 

The lungfish tore open the gift as carefully as one could with claws. The moment she did she let out an exclamation of delight. “Oh Sam! How lovely!” She gasped, holding up the old fishing net.

 

“I thought you'd like it.” Sam said with a smile.

 

“But...oh, you didn't have to, Sam!” The lungfish gushed.

 

“Only the best for you, baby. Only the best. Now go, try it on.”

 

The lungfish picked up the old fishing net and pulled it on, draping it over herself like a shawl. “Oh~!” She gasped in astonishment. “It's so...oh Sam, you shouldn't have! Thank you so much!”

 

The turtle just chuckled warmly. “Merry Christmas, baby. Merry Christmas.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Sam.”

 

Their warm moment was interrupted, however, by a high-pitched giggle from up above the surface. “Oh Mr.Pokeylope!? Where are you, Mr.Pokeylope!?”

 

“Ah, that's my human.” Sam said. “She gets worried when I'm not around. Could you excuse me?”

 

“Certainly, Sam.” Linda giggled, still engrossed in her gift. “Take all the time you want.”

 

“Thanks, baby.” With that, the turtle swam to the surface.

 

He had only just breached when he quite suddenly found himself plucked out of the water and was given several sloppy, wet kisses. “Oh, Mr.Pokeylope!” Sheegor gushed. “There you are!”

 

“Hello there, baby.” The turtle drawled.

 

“Oh, I'm so happy, Mr.Pokeylope!” Sheegor squealed, hugging the turtle close.

 

“And why's that, baby?”

 

“Why, because Christmas is nearly here, of course! And mister Nein left me here to take care of his lab, so that means it'll be just you and me, Mr.Pokeylope! Isn't that exciting?”

 

“Of course, baby, of course.”

 

Sheegor let out another squeal of joy, holding the turtle out before her. “I'm just so excited, Mr.Pokeylope! I sure hope Santa comes! Do you think he'll come, Mister Pokeylope? I hope I'm on the good list again this year!”

 

Sam chuckled. “Darling, you don't need to worry. You've been a regular angel.”

 

Sheegor giggled, hugging the turtle close once more. “Oh, Mr.Pokeylope, you're so nice! I'm sure you'll love my Christmas present for you, yes you will!”

 

“Of course I will, baby. Of course I will.” Sam drawled, ever the master of being good to women.

 

Sheegor just giggled again.

 

Meanwhile, across the campgrounds, Ford was busy. Very, very busy. There were no leaves to rake, no burgers to cook, no dirt to sweep, and the lake was frozen over, so there would be no canoeing. But oh no, he was still very busy.

 

Very, very busy.

 

Ford currently stood in his sanctuary, pacing back and forth. Yes, yes, everything was in order. The vehicle was ready, the sack had been packed, his outfit was clean for the big night, and he had taken his list and checked it twice.

 

Meaning there was but one thing left to do.

 

Ford's eyes narrowed in determination as he suddenly paused in his pacing.

 

“It. Is. TIME!” He declared, then suddenly turned and walked briskly down a cavern hallway.

 

It was indeed time. Time to finish it all.

 

This time, there would be no one left behind.

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Wow. It's really finally Christmas Eve? That means after this there's only one more chapter...how crazy.

 

Well, it's the home stretch, I suppose. I hope you all enjoy the last two chapters.

 

Onward!

 

Day Twenty-Four: The Night Before

 

“Ahem.” Vernon cleared his throat. “Alright, so it's Christmas Eve, right? Like the night before Christmas, you know? So I'm going to tell a story about the night before Christmas, okay?”

 

“Alright, Vernon, we get it! Just get on with it!” Elka snapped. The campers were all gathered on the couches and Vernon stood at the center, prepared to tell his story.

 

Vernon snorted. “Alright, I'll start.” And thus, in his nasally voice, Vernon began to talk.

 

“Okay, so it was the night before Christmas, right? And all through Psychonauts HQ like, not a creature was stirring. Because, you know, it was Christmas Eve and everyone was at home. Even the mice were all quiet--”

 

“There are mice here!?” Elton exclaimed, his eyes widening. Milka hugged him closer and he relaxed again.

 

“Except not really because they were having a Christmas party with punch and food and there was a little mouse named Tim who wanted a Red Rider BB gun that his mom wouldn't let him have because she was afraid he would shoot his eye out. That reminds me of this one time when-”

 

“Vernon! Dude, focus!” Nils cried.

 

“Oh. Right, sorry guys. So I already mentioned how no one was at HQ, right?”

 

The other kids all nodded.

 

“Okay, so like, we were all going to bed, you know? Like, we were all in our pajamas, including Franke, who was in her really sexy purple night gown--”

 

“EEEWWW!” Kitty shrieked as Franke blushed and tried her best to cover up her smile at Vernon's compliment.

 

“And we were all snuggled in and ready to sleep, okay? And then out of nowhere there's this really loud noise. So I get up in my hot pajamas, which are gray and twenty percent cotton, and go look out to window to see what was making the noise, right? And there's this flying sleigh and these eight reindeer, and this big fat guy who looks a lot like my Uncle Charlie. He wasn't drunk like my Uncle Charlie though, or at least I don't think he was. So anyway, he starts calling the reindeer names, like Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon. He calls some other ones Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. I think those are kind of stupid names, not like my dog--”

 

“We've already heard about your dog, man! Just get on with the story!” Chops cried.

 

“Oh, right, okay. So the sleigh and the reindeer land on the roof, and I can hear the reindeer jumping up and down on the ceiling...”

 

As Vernon spoke, there were several thuds on the ceiling, which caused all the campers to jump.

 

“Tarnation! I coulda sworn I just heard somethin' land on the roof!” JT cried.

 

“Wow! Vernon sure is a great storyteller!” Clem cheered.

 

Vernon beamed. “I know I am, right? So anyway, I turn around, and the fat guy who looks like my Uncle Charlie comes sliding down the chimney! He was carrying around this big bag of presents and everything, it was very cool.”

 

Everyone was so focused on Vernon's story by this point that they took no notice of their own fireplace. This was really a shame, because if they had they would have seen a tall man in a bright red suit with white trim come sliding down, a large sack slung across his back.

 

“So I stared at the guy and he winked at me, not a sexy wink because that would be creepy, but just to let me know that I wasn't in trouble. Then he turns around and starts putting all these presents under the Christmas tree...”

 

As Vernon spoke, the man in red turned around and began doing just that, stowing brightly wrapped package after package under the tree.

 

Unfortunately for him, not everyone was paying attention to Vernon's story.

 

Without warning, there was a sudden click. The man in red and white then glanced up to find himself facing the barrels of three paint ball guns.

 

Bobby grinned from behind his. “Gotcha, fat boy.”

 

With that, they all fired.

 

The man in red stumbled back, trying to shield himself from an onslaught of eggs. Meanwhile, upon hearing the guns go off, all of the campers panicked and dove under tables and chairs, screaming at the top of their lungs.

 

“AHHH! IT'S THE CHRISTMAS SLASHER, HERE TO KILL US ALL!” Elka shrieked.

 

“NO, IT'S THE KRAKEN! THE KRAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEN!” Elton exclaimed.

 

“WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!” Kitty sobbed.

 

After a few minutes the kids had finally stopped screaming, leaving no sound save for several empty clicks as Bobby, Benny, and Chloe continued pulling their triggers.

 

“Awww. Damn, I'm out of ammo.” Bobby cursed.

 

“Me too.” Benny sighed.

 

“It's fine.” Chloe stated. “We were able to bring the fat man down with the primitive earth weapons.” With that, she tossed her paintball gun aside and walked up to the egg splattered Santa, eyes narrowed from behind her space helmet.

 

“Alright fat boy, your cookie stealing days are over!” She declared.

 

“Yeah!” Bobby grinned, walking up as well. “Now let's see who you really are!” With that, he pulled away Santa's beard, only to reveal...

 

“...Mr.Cruller!?” Elton sputtered from where he was peeking over the top of the couch.

 

Indeed, the one who Bobby, Benn,y and Chloe had pelted with eggs was none other than Ford Cruller, clad in a Santa suit and hat.

 

“What? Who's that?” Ford asked, blinking in confusion.

 

“Um...that's you, sir.” Chops said slowly.

 

“What? No it's not! I'm Santa Clause!” Ford exclaimed.

 

The kids all gaped at him in shock.

 

“...What?”

 

“You heard me! You know, Old St.Nick?” Ford snapped as he got to his feet and brushed some of the egg off of himself. “And it seems I didn't check the list nearly as much as I should have...if I had, I woulda known that this place was full of kids who oughta be on the naughty list.” He growled, glaring at Bobby, Benny, and Chloe.

 

Chloe blinked in confusion. “...'Naughty' list?” She repeated, confused.

 

“You bet.” Ford muttered grimly. “Although don't worry, little girl, you don't count since you didn't know any better. These two, however...” He fixed a glare on Bobby and Benny.

 

Bobby scowled at him, crossing his arms. “You really think you're Santa Clause? What an idiot, huh Benny?”

 

Benny was still stuck just gaping at the man whom they had just egged.

 

“So...did you bring presents for all of us...er...Santa?” Kitty asked.

 

“I was kinda wondering if I got something too.” Dogen muttered, scratching his head and staring down at his feet.

 

“Ooohh, yes! Did you bring presents? I've been wanting some new drums!” Phoebe exclaimed.

 

“Presents would be pretty chill...” Quentin drawled.

 

“Hey guys, what about my story!?” Vernon demanded, apparently annoyed with being ignored.

 

Ford scowled. “You really think I'm going to tell you all what you got? No way! That's against protocol!”

 

“Awwww, come on, man!” Nils cried. “Give us the goods!”

 

“No! Now you all--”

 

“Oh my God!” Elka, whom had snuck past Ford and opened his sack, screamed. “Crystal!? What are you doing in there!?”

 

Indeed, as Elka spoke Crystal hopped out of “St.Nick's” sack with a cheer. “Whoo! Christmas, Christmas!” She cheered, her red ponytail flopping wildly around as she jumped up and down.

 

“Crystal!” Clem exclaimed, rushing over and throwing his arms around her. Crystal hugged him back, still beaming.

 

“Huh, I thought things seemed kinda quiet around here...” Nils commented.

 

“Heeeeeeeeey it's the cheerleader dudette! What's up?” Quentin asked, waving. “But...seriously, how did you get here?”

 

Crystal paused in her hugging of Clem to blink in confusion. “I have no idea~! See, I was all set to jump off the bridge and all when this angel named Steve came out of nowhere and told me life was worth living! So then I was running around, all panicked because it was Christmas Eve and I didn't know how I was going to get here, and then the next thing I know Mr.Cruller comes out of nowhere and offers to give me a lift. So here I am!” She finished her explanation with a grin.

 

Silence for a moment.

 

“Oookaaaaaay then.” Chops said slowly.

 

“Well, I reckon that's good enough for me!” JT said.

 

“Yaaaaay~!” Both Clem and Crystal cheered.

 

Vernon stood there, hands on his hips. “Hey, hey everyone! What about my story!?”

 

It was then that Ford cleared his throat, causing everyone to stare up at him. “Alright kids, you've had your reunion, come on now. I've got work to do, you know? You'd better get to bed so you can open your presents tomorrow! ...If you get any.” He added, glaring at Bobby and Benny.

 

“Uh...ehehe...um...come on boss, I'm uh...bushed! Let's get to bed, ahaha...” Benny said weakly before turning and running away.

 

“What!? Benny, don't tell me you actually actually believe in...” Bobby trailed off, staring at Ford for a moment. Then he turned and followed his lackey to their room as quickly as he could.

 

“What about my story!?” Vernon cried again. Everyone ignored him.

 

“Well, he's got a point...we really should be hitting the sack, eh?” Chops asked. The other kids all gave murmurs of agreement and stumbled towards their rooms.

 

“But but...hey, listen to my story everyone!” Vernon cried, chasing after them. “So um...then St. Nick gets back to work...”

 

Ford chuckled, shaking his head, and quickly turned to finish placing his presents under the tree.

 

“And then he grabs his bag and goes back to the chimney, right?”

 

The old man then closed his sack and threw it over his shoulder, waddling over to the chimney.

 

“Then he puts his finger next to his nose and he just floats right up the chimney!”

 

With a jolly laugh Ford did just that, vanishing in the wink of an eye.

 

“And then he gets in his sleigh and they all fly away! And the last thing he says is...”

 

There was a great thundering on the roof as eight sets of hooves began to run. Then there was a scraping noise, followed by the jingle of bells and another laugh that caused the kids to all hang out their windows and gape at the sight. Indeed, there was a sleigh, with eight reindeer (likely from Whispering Rock, since they seemed to be glowing) pulling it along. There on the back was Ford, urging the reindeer on and laughing. The last thing they heard before he was gone was...

 

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

 

---

 

To Be Continued...

[Digitaldreamer]

Well, this is it. The last chapter of Twenty-Five Days, which I am currently typing on only about two hours of sleep. Allergies are not your friend. The good news is I'm pretty sure it's scientifically proven that you don't need sleep on Christmas, so it's all good. I hope this will be a pleasant addition to your holiday, and if it isn't...well, I apologize. I've tried my best, though, and hopefully it came out okay in the end. Consider this the finale of my little gift to the entire fandom.

 

Um...right, well...onward!

 

Day Twenty-Five: The Best Christmas Ever?

 

“Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two....ONE!”

 

The campers all gave a simultaneous hoot of utter glee as the numbers on the digital clock switched from 12:59 to 1:00 AM. While they had planned on running out to the presents the very moment it was Christmas, the agents whom had been stuck watching them had forbidden them from waking them at midnight. Thus, the most obvious thing to do had been to wait a whole extra hour. That extra hour had been torture, but at last, the wait was over.

 

Of course, none of them had slept a wink, but everyone knows you don't need sleep on Christmas.

 

The kids let forth a battlecry as they all burst from their rooms and rushed down the hallway, waking most of the agents in the building and passing some of the ones who were completely smashed and just getting to bed. They all stumbled into the common room, jaws dropping at the sight before them.

 

Presents! Presents everywhere, as far as the eye could see! Great boxes tied with ribbons, small packages with bows, piles and piles here and there, gathered under the tree, a cornucopia of shimmering, Christmassy glory.

 

“...Wow.” Chops managed to get out.

 

“YEAH! PRESENTS!” Benny cheered, rushing towards the gifts.

 

That was all it took. With a roar the kids all charged, sorting through package after package in an attempt to find what was theirs as the regular agents stared at them blearily from the hallway.

 

“Oh, wow!” Phoebe exclaimed. “New drums!”

 

“I can dig this...” Quentin drawled as he ran his fingers over his new green and red scarf.

 

“Oh my God! A cheering outfit!” Crystal screamed, hugging her present to her. “Yay, Christmas!”

 

“Yeah, yeah! Yay, Christmas!” Clem agreed as he held up his own cheering outfit.

 

Franke just let out a squeal as she hugged her new designer boots, Kitty grinning beside her with her own, only slightly snazzier pair.

 

“Hmmm...a pin stripe suit? Very nice.” Maloof commented as he held up the suit.

 

“Mikhail thought so. Got in Russia.” Mikhail explained as he squeezed his bear shaped stress ball.

 

Elton and Milka were too busy with the effects of some mistletoe to really go too crazy over their gifts. Elka watched them with a sigh for a moment, then turned to Nils. “Oh Nils, why don't we find some mistletoe too?”

 

Nils just groaned, hiding his face in the new hoodie he had gotten.

 

“Oooh, new hockey gear!” Chops said.

 

“Hmm...I gotta admit, this new hat is mighty stylish...” JT commented as he pushed up the rim of his new cowboy hat.

 

“Oh wow...” Vernon mumbled in monotone. “A journal to write my experiences in. How exciting. It reminds me of that one Christmas when...”

 

“What the...I got coal!?” Benny sputtered, eyes widening as he stared at the dismal lump in his hand.

 

“I...didn't?” Bobby mumbled, blinking in confusion at his new Metallica CD.

 

Chloe just smiled from where she was paging through her new book, “Light Speed Space Travel for Dummies”.

 

Indeed, almost all of the campers seemed happy on this wondrous morning. However, there was one whom wasn't so happy, and that was of course our own Lili Zanotto. The brunette sat curled up in an arm chair in the corner, playing absently with the new clothes she had gotten, a far-away look in her amber eyes.

 

“Lili? Don't you like your present from Santa?” Dogen asked as he waddled over. He was wearing a new, fuzzy hat over his usual tinfoil one and seemed quite taken with it.

 

“Huh?” Lili glanced up, then forced a small smile. For most she wouldn't even do that, but she liked Dogen, at least. “Oh, yeah...it's great...”

 

Dogen watched her a moment. “Sad that Raz isn't here?”

 

Lili snorted. “Me? Sad? No, of course not, why should I be?” She muttered, eyes narrowing. “It's not like it's any different from all my other Christmases...”

 

“Oh...” Dogen glanced down at his feet and scratched his head. “Well, don't worry, we still have twenty-three hours...maybe he'll get here still.”

 

The brunette let out a long sigh. “Dogen, they said on the news there's a blizzard going on up there. They aren't letting any planes take off.”

 

Dogen's face fell. “Oh...”

 

They sat in silence for a moment. Then Lili sighed, sitting up. “Don't worry about it, okay Dogen? You just go enjoy your holiday.” She said, forcing another smile.

 

The small boy watched her in silence for a moment. Then he sighed, his shoulders slumped, and he turned to walk away. “'Kay, Lili...but if you need anything, just ask.”

 

“I will.” Lili called after him. Once she was sure Dogen was occupied again she slumped into her seat with a dejected sigh. “Stupid Christmas...God, I hate this holiday.” She muttered, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in them.

 

“Geez, you really shouldn't worry so much. There are ways to travel besides planes you know, contrary to popular belief.” A voice suddenly spoke from behind her.

 

Lili's eyes widened as she sat straight up. “What...” She turned, only to find herself staring into a pair of jade green eyes. “...Raz?” She gasped.

 

Raz's smile cracked into a grin the moment she turned, his nose, cheeks, and ears still tinted pink from the cold outside, snow melting where it had landed in his hair, his red goggles hanging around his neck. A simple, festive red Santa hat had been placed upon his head. “Merry Christmas, Lili.”

 

“Oh my God...Raz!” Lili screamed, leaping over the back of the chair she had been sitting in and throwing her arms around him. “You came...you came!” She cried, her voice muffled by the material that made up his jacket.

 

“ACK!” Raz yelped as he stumbled backwards, only just barely able to keep himself upright. He then let out a laugh, hugging Lili back. “Of course I did. What did you expect?”

 

“You came...” The brunette repeated, hugging him even tighter. “Oh God...I didn't think you would...the snow..and...and...you came...”

 

“Well, someone certainly seems happy, right darling?” Milla spoke up from the doorway, her arm entwined in Sasha's.

 

“Yes...though somehow I feel as if I should be much more surprised that the children were all up at this hour...” Sasha muttered.

 

Truman just chuckled, shaking his head.

 

Lili glanced up to see the three standing there, her eyes widening. “Milla, Sasha...dad? You all...you all came?”

 

“Why, of course we did, sweetie!” Milla giggled. “Did you really think we would miss Christmas here with all of you?”

 

“Well...but...how?” Lili wondered, pulling away from Raz and gazing into his eyes.

 

Raz chuckled, scratching his head. “Well...uh...I'm not so sure how to explain this...the snow knocked most of the power lines out, so we couldn't exactly call the agency for help. So I was just wondering what to do...and then this sleigh just comes out of nowhere! It was really weird...but it wasn't Santa in the sleigh, it was Agent Cruller! Granted, he was fully convinced he was Santa...” The boy trailed off a moment, brow furrowing in confusion. “I have no idea what was up with that.”

 

Sasha shook his head. “Apparently it's one of his other personalities, it only comes up Christmas Eve,”

 

“Really?” Raz blinked. “Huh, how weird...so anyway, it took some begging, but we all finally managed to get him to give us a lift! So we all got in the sleigh and he dropped us off at HQ...”

 

“And while we there, darling, we decided it was about time we convinced your father to take a bit of a vacation.” Milla added, smiling.

 

“Yeah! So we got him to come, and then we all came here...and well, you know the rest.” Raz finished, still grinning.

 

Lili stared at him in silence for a moment. Then she started laughing. First she was giggling, then chuckling, and then she was throwing her head back and laughing so hard that tears came to her eyes.

 

Raz's brow furrowed. “What's so funny?”

 

“It's...” Lili choked out between giggles. “It's just...so...weird! And yet to us it seems so perfectly normal...it's just...it's funny!”

 

The goggle-headed boy stared at her for another moment. Then he started laughing too. “I...I guess it is!” He said with a grin, leaning so his forehead was pressed against hers as the two laughed together, supporting each other to keep them both from collapsing to the ground in fits of giggles.

 

The two stood like that for a minute before they finally sobered up enough to catch their breath, both breathing heavily. “Here...” Raz panted out, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the green box. “I got you something...” His face spread into a grin. “From your secret Santa.”

 

“Oh...” Lili blinked, then smiled and nodded as she took the gift. “It's not anything cheesy and stupid, is it?”

 

Raz snorted. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. You'll just have to open it and see, now won't you?”

 

The brunette rolled her eyes and bopped her boyfriend lightly on the head, then opened the box. Her eyes widened in shock. “Oh my God...” She murmured, reaching into the box and taking out a single, perfect flower made of glass. It was placed on a single, simple reflective stand. And there, inscribed upon it, were three simple words.

 

“I love you.” Lili read aloud, tracing the words with her fingertips.

 

“Well, I knew you liked flowers, so...yeah...” Raz blushed, shuffling his feet. “I know it's kind of cheesy, but--”

 

Lili set the glass flower aside, throwing her arms around her boyfriend yet again. “This is the cheesiest, stupidest, most thoughtful gift anyone's ever given me...you stupid idiot...thank you.” She cried out.

 

While most people would have been offended, Raz just chuckled, hugging her back. “You're welcome.”

 

After a few moments Lili finally pulled away, glancing at the tree. “Here...” She said, levitating over the last package that had been left under the tree. “I got this for you. I hope you like it, I went through a lot to get it.” She said, handing it to him.

 

Raz blinked, then tore it open. Upon seeing what it was he let out a fanboy squeal. “OH MY GOD! ISSUE 25! YOU CAN'T GET THIS ANYWHERE, NOT EVEN ON EBAY!” He exclaimed.

 

“I know.” Lili grinned.

 

“Oh man...but...how did you...oh my GOD Lili you are awesome!” Raz cried.

 

Sure, Raz may have been a Psychonaut now, but we all know he's still a comic book fanboy at heart.

 

Lili giggled. “Glad you like it.” She said, giving him another hug.

 

It was then that the other occupants of the room finally decided to make themselves known with several coughs and clearings of the throat. Both Raz and Lili turned and blinked to see that everyone was grinning at them.

 

Lili blinked. “Why are you all looking at us like that?”

 

Chops grinned. “Look where you're standing, eh?"

 

Both Raz and Lili blinked again, then glanced up to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging above them.

 

“...Um...” Raz flushed, his face becoming redder than his goggle lenses. “Does...this mean we have to...uh...”

 

“Oh, how romantic!” Elka gasped. “Even for losers like you, there's possiblities!”

 

“Yeah! Raz, give the little lady a kiss!” JT called.

 

“But...in front of you all?” Raz gasped.

 

“Go on Raz! Kiss her!” Elton cheered, raising his glass of eggnog high.

 

“Um...” Raz gulped, turning back to Lili, whom was still blinking up at the mistletoe. “So...uh...”

 

“Wow. This is like, the most cliché thing ever.” Lili commented.

 

Raz gave a nervous laugh. “Aha...yeah...well, maybe we should just--” He was them cut off as Lili quite suddenly grabbed him by the front of the shirt, pulling him closer.

 

“It wouldn't be cliché if it wasn't good all the other times it happened.” She whispered, amber eyes gazing deeply into jade.

 

Raz flushed. “I...guess you're right...” He smiled, leaning closer.

 

With that, the two kissed.

 

“Oh, how adorable~!” Milla squealed amongst the many flashes and clicks from various cell phones and digital cameras that had been whipped out of seemingly nowhere. “Aren't they cute, Sasha?”

 

“Yes, young love. Quite possibly the stupidest thing on the planet.” Sasha murmured dryly, though he was smiling as he folded his arms before him.

 

“I cannot believe my own daughter is already doing this at the age of ten...” Truman muttered, putting his face in his hands, and thus shielding himself from the sight of Elton and Milka still making out passionately on the couch.

 

“Whoo! Go Raz! Go Lili!” Clem and Crystal cheered.

 

Finally, Lili and Raz parted, smiles spread on both of their faces.

 

“Wow...” Lili murmured.

 

Raz grinned. “So...what do you think?”

 

Lili blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

 

“I promised I would make this the Best Christmas Ever for you, remember?” Raz asked, his grin widening. “So...did I?”

 

Lili stared at him for a moment. Then, without warning, he reached up, grabbed the front of Raz's Santa hat, and pulled it down over his eyes.

 

“Ack! Hey!” Raz cried, pawing at his face in an attempt to push back his hat. His girlfriend laughed once more, hugging him closer.

 

“Idiot. Of course you did...you've never broken a promise to me before, why would you start now?” She said, voice muffled by the material of Raz's jacket again.

 

Raz pushed his hat back up and blinked down at her for a moment. Then he laughed, hugging her back once more.

 

“I guess you're right. Merry Christmas, Lili.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Raz.”

 

It really was the Best Christmas Ever.

 

---

 

-The End-

 

Hey everyone! This is Digitaldreamer, and I'd like to take this time to thank you for reading through this whole thing! It's been insane to type, but it's been an adventure. There have definitely been points where I just wanted to quit, where I hated this fic and wanted it to die, as I'm sure all my buddies on IM would testify to if you asked them. But...well, I pulled through, and for that I am glad.

 

Thank you so much, each and every one of you who reviewed this, and even those who didn't. I can only assume if you're reading this you've read each and every chapter, and I thank you for that. I know some of them weren't the best, but as long as you all enjoyed it, I'm happy.

 

After this I'm going back to my usual schedule, meaning my other Psychonauts fanfic, Cursum Perficio, will be getting new updates every Sunday, starting the thirty-first. I figured hey, we'd end this year and start off the new one with a bang, ne? I hate to self-plug, but if you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to check it out. It's totally different from this one (a hell of a lot more drama and angst for one thing) but I truly think it's my best work. If any of you would like to read it and leave a review, I'd be honored.

 

...and I'm sure a good portion of you are cheering that I won't be updating and spamming everyone's forums/fanfiction pages/LiveJournal friends lists so much, but whatever.

 

Um, right, anyway...so, here ends Twenty Five Days. I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you could just stop and leave a review to let me know what you thought of this fic as a whole, I'd be ecstatic. Feedback means more to me than any other gift I could receive.

 

So, on that note, I'll end this by saying...

 

Thank you all so much! Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

 

Love,

 

Digitaldreamer

[Miss_Mayhem]

Oh. Me. Oh. My! I stayed up till 3 AM yesterday since my family (and many of hispanic descent) celebrate the holidays on the 24th, Christmas Eve, to countdown to Christmas day. Not the best and not the worst of the 14 festivities I've gone through in my life ([grumble]I could have gotten better presents[/grumble]) so as I blearily trudged to my soft and warm bed, one of the last things to cross my mind before controlled thought and logic gave way to nonsense and dreamscapes was, "I hope Digi updated '25 Days' ..."

 

'25 days' is the culmination of alot of hard work on your part, obviously it's a challenge to write consistently good material on such a short time limit; school and sleep dont make the job much easier. For that I give you some mad propz. You deserve it. I know few people that could do that. I for sure would be blurting out crap on my 6th day! The writing is sublime and dripping with wit and charm and spades upon spades of detail, the premise unique and enticing, the characterization of DF's IP's top-notch and it really shows you what The Holidays are about. The chapters was also just an excellent way to end thngs.

 

Ever present in the fic's margins is the collective dream of millions of what the Holidays should really be like. Friends, family, presents you like, Christmas miracles and the childlike wonder of the season most of us lose by the age of 10. A good many of us can not imagine Christmas without the gross commercialization, for many of us it's a picturesque fantasy bound to the realm of wonder and picture books and Christmas cards from a time forgotten. And it's also rather true that by this point, the commercialization seems like a neccesary aspect of the semi-religious holiday we need to enjoy it, though all at once we are aware that it is robbing us of that magic so much earlier than before it became so common. '25 Days' wisks us back to a state of mind where the reader is like a child again, fully engaged in the whimsy of the season in a sophisticated manner.

 

Even if it was for just a while, and a reality simply so distant at this point, '25 Days' was an utterly charming reverie that lifted spirits and showed us the ideal way to celebrate the Holiday. And now we have to face a much less sweet and charming reality; one of debt and annoying younger relatives and dissapointing gifts and that simply isn't as much fun. But you made the ride a smoother, more pleasent one, Digi. We can only hope that others decide to embrace the spirit and contribute next time 'round.

 

The Festivities with me and the family may have been done with yesterday, leaving me to web surf in a rather unceremonious and anticlimactic manner, but you are fully enthralled in the Christmas celebrations right now, so I hope your reality is as nice as what you've created in your story. Take this very long winded review as my present, Digi ... MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[Digitaldreamer]

Oh my. o_o Um...wow, thank you very, very much. I sure as hell wasn't expecting that...my Christmas ended about three hours ago, but that made one hell of a birthday gift. Sheesh, sounds like an actual book review, something my writing hardly deserves...

 

Well...I wish I could leave just as long and eloquent of a reply, but...well, I'm still running on two hours of sleep, so I'll settle for this; Thank you very much, I'm honored. *bows*