The joke thread.

[Hayden Kered]

A guy was sitting at the bar having a few drinks, and decided to get out of his stool. When he stood up he fell right on his face.

 

"I must have had one too many. I might just need some air." The guy then crawls out the door, stands up, and falls flat on his face.

 

"Maybe I need to sit down on that bench." The guy crawls over to the bench, stands up and falls on his face again.

 

"I think I just need to go home." He crawled one whole block to his house, got to the door, stood up, and fell on his face as soon as he got inside.

 

"Bed sounds good. I may just need some sleep." He then crawls up the stairs, into the room, stood up by the bed, and fell on his face again.

 

"You was at the bar again weren't you?" His wife asked.

 

"How did you know?"

 

"The bar tendar called and said you left your wheelchair out there again."

[Daft Adidas]

There was once a bay born who only had a head no torso, no legs and no arms still his dad loved his baby head very much.

 

On his 18th birthday he took him to the pub and he had a sip of carlsberg. Suddenly his two arms popped out.

 

"Go have another sip!" shouted the Dad.

His legs then popped out and he was so excited he ran out onto the road and got knocked over by a lorry.

 

The barman said.

"He should have quit while he was ahead."

[Hayden Kered]

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

 

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

 

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

[HappyMojo]

Young eight year old Johnny goes into a grocery store and asks for a large Pepsi and a big cream filled bun. He paid, and asked for a lot of change as well.

The old grocer watched as young Johnny go outside, where Johnny immediately starts to throw all his change in the air. Left and right the pennies go.

The old grocer is baffled by Johnny’s odd behaviour.

Next, Johnny takes his large Pepsi and start to drink it as fast as he can. The Pepsi flows all over his face and on his clothes.

He then throws the Pepsi aside and drops his pants. He takes the cream bun and smashes’ it right on his Willy.

The old grocer storms out of the store.

“What on earth are you doing lad!” The grocer yells.

“I’m living the good life” Johnny replies

“What do you mean by that” The grocer asks.

“Well, I asked my father how to live the good life, and he said to me. First you throw money around like mad. Then you drink till you drop. And then you get something really good for your Willy.”

[HerbieZ]

Very well, il give you that one Hallu..