[Fic] Star Wars: He's a Lethal Weapon

[Daft Adidas]

Prologue

 

He is twenty two years old. He's a well trained Bounty Hunter who has dreamed of being one since a child. At the age of ten his father began to train him. Then when he was ninteen he left his father, left his home and was never spoken to again by a relative.

 

His name is Fero Nanfeladar and is a human. Fero is the most well known bounty hunter in this day. He's hard to get your hands on and only excepts missions he thinks are worthy enough and is fussy with pay.

 

Every single man/woman or creature Fero has hunted never survived, never got away, never had a chance. Even some of the Galaxy's toughest criminals will run away from him. Though they are wasting time. Fero will find them, not hesitate and then kill.

 

The Government want him on their side. He would totally help bring peace to the Galaxy. Though he's just a loner, and instead of talk the talk but can't walk the walk. He's the opposite.

 

Now we are going to see how he gets on when a new war enters the galaxy. It's the biggest one yet. They are called Pentolansons (see my rp for more info) and they are coming im Millions.

 

Has he now got a challenge? Let's hope so.

[Sabretooth]

That's an interesting plot you've set up there, tho I'll have to admit the Bounty Hunter's description is somewhat clichéd. I like the conversational style of writing. I think I'll follow this.

[DrPhil2501]

Nice start. I see we have a new rising legend among Bounty Hunters (Like; Calo Nord, Boba Fett, etc...)

 

From what I can tell, there are no mistakes or problems within your story. Although, I must ask; what year is this Fic based in? Old Republic era? Imperial era? What?

 

Good start, I'm looking forward to more!

[Daft Adidas]

Thanks guys.

 

@ Phantom Knight. I'm not going to say what era this is in. That comes into the first chapter hopefully tomorrow or if your real lucky tonight.

 

So if your interested keep reading and I appreciate this. Oh yeh and BTW I have another fic in the Outer Rim Territories if you are interested.

[Daft Adidas]

Ah I'm bored. Here goes.... Note. This fic is kinda of like a shorty. Because well all the chapters are short!

 

Chapter 1

City Life

 

Night has just fallen over Coruscant. The stars quicky appear in the sky one by one like lights turning on. The City instead of getting quiet, its getting busier and more people enter Coruscant for the night life, to go clubbing and more.

 

This night, tonight a public transport craft parks outside a damp, wet and old torn away house.

 

Your probably wondering what's so special about tonight? Welcome to ABQ (after battle of Quirkola) 999. Everyone is out to celebrate the new year. Today is the Last day of ABQ 999 and at midnight it will be the new year, new millenium.

 

A man with almost skin cut hair exits the Public Transport. His body is covered in a firm, black and solid type of armour. He has tight leather gloves on and stands there holding a helmet in his left hand. The helmet is red with a strong also black blast shield. He tightens it a little and puts it on. Pulling the shield down. Finnaly on this mans back is a baggy yellow sack with a cord on it. Then also painted on his back stated Fero.

 

He looks around calmy. Took a step forward and took a deep breath of the City Air. Another small and pail man walked out and gasped when he saw Fero painted on his back.

 

Fero turned around and gave the shrimp an ice cold glare and straight teeth. The shrimp dropped his shopping and ran down the alleyway screaming his head off.

 

He then gave a dismissive laugh and looked at that torn down house. He put his foot up onto a jaggy piece of rubble and then grabbed onto a rigid pipe above him. He pulled himself up ono the unstable roof and walked along. Then above him was a window belonging to a fancy hotel. He jumped up and climbed through the window. A bothan butler passed him and frowned. Not surprisingly Fero seemed to stick out infront of these uppity people and he then stepped into the elevator and pushed the "to roof" button.

 

Very quickly he reached the rooftop. It was a change of scenery from the well painted hotel. It was dry but somewhat cold up there. It was a very high building over the City and he looked at his watch. For the first time he spoke.

 

"Estimated Bounty Arrival: 11::50 and 45 seconds." He slowly walked to the edge stared straight infront of him then resumed looking at his watch.

 

"44." "45". He looked down. There was a high drop and a tall man stepped of a door down a narrow alleyway holding a box of explosives. Fero jumped and pulled the cord on his bag. The bag opened from the top and a parachute slung out. Yes it was old fashioned but the parachute was deisnged crooked so that he would fall alot faster but still safely. Also fell out of the bag a large silver Mega Blaster Model 230 a very high tech and modern machine gun. When pulling the trigger five small but highly lethal pellets leave the gun and when touching whatever it' hits will explode like a bomb.

 

His Mega Blaster fell out of the sky into his hands and as he was falling he pulled the trigger and he was pulled back a bit with the power. He delibratly made his shot miss just enough not to hurt his Bounty.

 

The Bounty looked up and quickly recognised his hunter. He dropped his box of explosives onto the floor which clumped loudly. Following that Fero touched down. He ripped the parachute of his bag and chased his Bounty down the left of the damp alleyway. The way Fero wanted him to. As Fero closened in on him he could now hear the man panting and gasping desperately. Then his quarry slid round a corner. Then kept on running and skidded to a halt at a dead end.

 

Fero stopped running. Didn't even look remotley exhausted and pulled out a weak fire pistol. He shot many and many blasts right above his quarrys head which formed a sentence.

 

The quarry named Jeq looked above and saw all the blast holes in the wall form: HAPPY ABQ 1000.

 

"Is this some kind of joke?" Jeq breathed highly.

"I'm just playing around" smeared Fero stonily. Jeq then looked at the clock and it struck midnight. Fero has always been the one to stay on time!

 

Jeq was a very tall man but not that skinny. He was quite broad but still not fat. He had some rough stubble on his chin and he had thick black eyebrows and hardly cut black hair.

 

"Okay tell me who assigned you to kill me."

 

"Hmmph" Fero laughed lightly. "Vera Diquilla. Your ex-wife."

 

"Oh s**t" he breathed. He then made an attempt to bend down to click a switch on his shoes making his jet shoes activate but Fero was too clever for that sort of trick and shot him with the weak pistol right through his forehead.

 

"Another day in city life" he sighed. He pulled out his wallet and identification so the cops have no clue who he is. He then wiped the blood of his head with gloves. Even though it was a weak pistol it is a far better weapon from todays.

 

"Uh oh. It's my bedtime" he chuckled and left the alleyway getting a hover taxi back to home. Or a nex-wife. Yes he needed to do that first. The hover taxi driver was a little nervous seeing he had the Univermost feared Bounty Hunter in the back!

[DrPhil2501]

Its a good start, but I have some constructive critism I would like to make (my apoligies )

 

When you put in certain words, like "cops" for example, it kinda makes this fic... what's the word? ... "Not Star Wars" (no offence). When writing Sci-Fi, you would probably use more descriptive words like "Law Enforcements" or "Security Squade" or something like that nature.

 

Other than that, it is coming good! I especially like the part when Fero said he was working for the guys wife, then the bounty said "oh s**t". Really great!

 

Keep it comin'!

[Daft Adidas]

Thanks on that! Though what was the words that made it seems un starwarsy? Lol. I'm trying to give this fic some humour. Glad you liked that part!

[Daft Adidas]

Chapter 2

 

Fero shut the taxi door behind him. He didn't even ask what the bill was and walked towards a large white and well built Palace. The Taxi started up and whizzed off quick as the kettle run record holder.

 

Fero lightly knocked on the front glass door and waited for a reply.

 

"Who is it?" A womanly voice called down from the top left window.

 

"Fero, you assigned me to kill your ex-husband. The job's done. Where's the credits?"

 

"Credits?" she asked with a cackle. Then she gave him a furious look. "You didn't think I would give you 30,000 credits for a puny job like that?"

 

"No I didn't to be honest, still if your not giving them to me, I might have to perswuade you" he called up getting ready to activate his Jet Pack.

 

"Well If your not going to leave, my friends will have to perswuade you!" the woman cried like a hawk and breaking out of every window in that vast Palace assasins jumped out ready to kill. They were covered in Green Armour with sharp elbow knives and equipped with 362 Ever Pistols.

 

"Oh please" he laughed amazed at this weak attempt. He zipped up into the air and hovered for several seconds moving his head very slightly to dodge the blast fire coming from below. He breathed through his nose strongly ready for his move.

 

He flicked a switch on his control gadget and on the right of his leg a chunky piece of armour slipped away and started flashing red. He flew away as more fire came rushing up to him and when that flashing armour crashed into the ground it ripped up the soil, stones and the Palace started to crumble.

 

The womans schreech echoed throughout the city and he was going home for a good nights sleep. This is just another day for Fero.

 

NOTE: Yes a VERY short chapter!

[Empress Padme]

I like your story and will definately be keeping an eye out for future chapters. I like Fero. Still chuckling over how he reacts about his ex-wife.