What the Professor REALLY Means....

brief · August 20, 2001

As we make our way through the course of academia, we will find that, often, the professors will say something, when they really mean something else. Below is a list of some of the things you might hear coming out of a professor's mouth, as well as what they (almost) invariably mean...

<table><tr><th width="55%">What They Say</th><th width="45%">What They Mean</th></tr><tr valign="top"><td>You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field.<td>I used it as a grad student</tr><tr valign="top"><td>If you follow these simple rules, you'll do fine in the course.<td>If you don't need any sleep, you'll do fine in this course.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important.<td>I don't understand the details either.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>Various authorities agree that...<td>My hunch is that...</tr><tr valign="top"><td>The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class.<td>I don't know.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>You'll have to see me during my office hours and I'll answer the question.<td>I don't know.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>In answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several disparate points of view.<td>I really don't know.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>Today we are going to discuss a most important topic.<td>Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>We can continue this discussion outside of class.<td>1. I'm tired of this -- let's quit.

2. You're winning this argument -- let's quit.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience.<td>I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>Any questions?<td>I'm ready let you go.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>The implications of this study are clear...<td>I don't know what it means either, but there'll be a question about it on the test.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>The test will be 50-questions, multiple choice.<td>The test will be 60-questions multiple guess, plus three short-answer questions (1000 words or more), and no one will score above 55 percent.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>The test scores were generally good.<td>Some of you managed a C+</tr><tr valign="top"><td>The test scores were a little below my expectations.<td>Where was the party last night?</tr><tr valign="top"><td>Some of you could have done better.<td>Everyone flunked.</tr><tr valign="top"><td>Before we being the lecture today, are there any questions about previous material?<td>Has anyone opened the book yet?</tr><tr valign="top"><td>According to my sources...<td>According to the guy who taught this class last year...</tr><tr valign="top"><td>It's been very rewarding to teach this class.<td>I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.</tr></table>

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends?

Guybrush122 · August 20, 2001

lol, very funny brief

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Did I Mention That I Am Marrying Myself?

Drunken_Sailor · August 22, 2001

Exellent

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Poor Santa Claus!

Deadmeat1587246448 · August 23, 2001

Hehe. School just started again, and this could really be usefull..

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I'm the root of all that's evil yeah

but you can call me cookie.

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What the Professor REALLY Means....

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