EXzSoldier Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 STAR WARS Imperial Millitary Police Chapter 1 Zeth Matthias of the 1st Imperial Military Police Force on Station Gamma. The Recruit sported Black StormTrooper armor and Navy Blue pauldron. His ID number was TX-42. “TX-42, there has been suspicious reports on the station, a Wookie, droid and, a human and I unidentified Person has been reported by TK-91.” Said AT-50 “Roger, I’ll check it out.” Said TX-42 walking down a hall to the Cantina. He walked up to the bartender. “Sir, have you seen these persons?” “Yea, said they were going to the next floor.” Said the bartender. “TX-42 reporting in, bartender said the suspects were heading to the next floor.” “Roger I’ll send in a scout team. I need you to report these incidents to Major Glalm of the 4th Sandtrooper Regiment tell him that suspected rebels will head to Mos Eisley.” “Yes, Sir” The Corporal headed to a Imperial transport. “ID number TX-42 Imperial Business on Tatoine, Mos Eisley” “Background Check cleared enjoy your shuttle to Mos Eisley.” Said an Imperial Shuttle Manager. Arriving at Mos Eisley TX-42 heads towards the 4th Sandtrooper Regimental HQ. He entered an Imperial Light armored Vehicle. The Vehicle had a light repeating blaster rifle mounted. “4th sandtrooper Regimental HQ.” Said TX-42. Another Imperial Police squad walked by. The city was heavly occupied by Imperial forces. He arrived at the HQ. He exited the vehicle and walked inside to Major Glalm’s office. “Sir, TX-42 from the 1st Imperial Military Police Force.” Said an Imperial Secretary. “Send him in” Major Glalm said. “Sir, I’ve been sent by Captain Tynes to inform you of suspected Rebels approaching Mos Eisley.” TX-42 said saluting the Major. “Thank you I’ll send in some stormTrooper’s to guard the Exits, Dismissed Corporal.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 9, 2008 Author Share Posted August 9, 2008 Chapter 2 TX-42 walks into the Mos Eisley Cantina. He walked to the bartender. “I’ll have a-” TX-42 said cut off by a shot fired from an E-11 carbine. “Sorry for the disturbance, this rebel ambushed a Military Police Mechanized squad.” Said a Sand Trooper. The SandTrooper signaled for TX-42 to come over. “Corporal, a squad of Military Police from Station Gamma was ambushed. You and AT-50 have been assigned to track down those rebel scum.” AT-50 walked in the cantina, He wore the same armor but wore a brown Shoulder pauldron marking him as an NCO. “TX-42, we’re heading to the site of the ambush.” They entered a heavily armored Imperial Transport. “From now on we’re using heavily armored vehicles. This rebel militia has been attacking patrols relentlessly. All of are vehicles have been ambushed. We might have to cancel the meeting with the Imperial Support Militia, there attacking anyone suspected of supporting the Regime.” Said the vehicle specialist. “Here we are. We have are Sniper teams covering this area.” Said AT-50. An Imperial Light Armored Transport lied in ruins. “Thermal detonator was tossed into the back, 4 killed 1 injured.” Said the Local Police Chief. “Sir, Planet Quarantine has been issued by Governor Zhar.” Said VT-10 a member of the 3rd Military Police Detachment, a Company of the 1st Military Police Force. “Good, Codes?” Asked TX-42 “Authorization codes have been input on all Imperial transports and fighters.” “Roger that.” “Ok, the transport was attacked by a local Rebel militia, they’re heavily armored with repeating blasters. They use machine blasters and block the road off with obstacles.” Said VT-10. “Alpha Team, we have a position of the Rebels that recently ambushed our patrols. They are living at a Jawa Sandcrawler nearby quarter click away.” “Roger, Command ok move out all forces head to sandcrawlers in a 3 kilometer radius.” Said AT-50 Alpha team and Bravo team headed towards a Sandcrawler. “This is the Imperial Military Police, we are giving you one chance to surrender!” Said TX-42. They waited for 5 minuets for a response. “Rebel’s are not surrendering, bomb sandcrawler half a click to the west of Mos Eisley.” TX-42 said to a Tie Bomber squadron in the area. “Roger that.” The Troopers got to a safe distance and watched the sandcrawler explode. “Suspected Rebels have escaped the planet. Quarantine Is being lifted.” Said Command Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 12, 2008 Author Share Posted August 12, 2008 Chapter 3 Station Gamma. The 1st Imperial Millitary Police Force, 1st battlion was about to be depolyed to Tatoine serving as a Police force for the area since the Mos Eisley Police couldnt handle the situation with rebels. TX-42 had been off on leave after the incident with the rebels. TX-42 saluted YT-236 a Captain who had been serving the Empire for 15 years. " Sir, Commander Key is ready to move the troops down to Mos Eisley." TX-42 said "Roger that, Lieutenant petea order the command to lift Admirial Jax's defense system." YT-236 said. "Yes sir" A hologram appeared the body of Admirial Jax appeared. "Sir, the 1st Military Police Force 1st battalion is ready to shuttle to Tatoine." Said Lieutenant Peta. "Roger lifting Space defense's" Said Admirial Jax. "Tell Commander Key that he had permission to depart." YT-236 said. TX-42 saluted the Captain and went back to the Battalion HQ TX-42 walked to Commander Key's office "Sir, we're ready to disembark" "Roger that!" 2 weeks later Tatoine, Mos Eisley The 1st two weeks of depolyment were hard on the battalion they set up a defensive poistion 10 miles north of Mos Esiley. "Tuskens!" Shouted A military Police Trooper TX-42 ran to a small trench he mounted his light repeating carbine. "TX-42 put down suppresive fire on those mountains, thats were they're coming from!" TX-42 shot the blaster at the moantian range, His Captain was shot by a Tusken sniper. " "Officer down, get a medic!" TX-42 shouted, he contiued to fire at the moantain range." "Fall back Zulu compony fall back to the fortification there's to many Tuskens in the area we're going to be reinforced by the 3rd Mechinized StormTrooper Division." TX-42 hoped out of the trench and ran back to the fortifiacation as the Stormtroopers behind fell down. "Come on hurry up!" Shouted AT-50 TX-42 sprinted inside the building as the door was shutting. Chapter 4 TX-42 sat down he could hear the artilliary hit nearby, He took off his helmet his face was dirty and cut. AT-50 walked up and sat down beside him a chunk of his armor has been torn of by the expolision when the Tusken raiders destroyed the ammo cache. "We,re finnished, we cant win this battle." TX-42 said "No, the 3rd Mechinzed StormTrooper Division is now 4 miles away from our position." AT-50 said. "Ok, men listen up the 3rd Mechinzied StormTrooper Division is here but the problem is they're not able to drive up to the fort so we'll have to run to the position. Get ready we leave in 5 minuetes. TX-42 put his helmet back on and grabbed his carbine. He waited then the doors opened and they sprinted to the Vehicles. Stormtroopers fell behind him as tusken raiders kept suppresive fire on them. TX-42 saw AT-50 get shot in the stomach. He ran back carried him to the Heavy Vehicle. "Thanks" "No problem" A medic was already fixing his wound up. Commander Key sat next to them He was talking to General Valor. "Yes, we couldnt hold the position we lost almost every compony." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadYorick Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Well this story appears to have some potential. I have to ask though. Why is chapter 3 only 3 lines long? As well a little detail couldn't hurt. Your sentance structure is nice, just add a little detail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Yes, it does have some potential. Indeed. I think that a little bit of detail would really add a lot to the story. It seems like your whole story is just dilogue! Just all a tad bit more detail, as RakataDark pointed out. I would guess that you didn't copy paste right on chapter 3, no? Good start though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 12, 2008 Author Share Posted August 12, 2008 Thanks, i was in the middle of writting it on the forums because i dont have wordperfect or microsoft word at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Ah. That makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 12, 2008 Author Share Posted August 12, 2008 Chapter 5 After the depolyment on Tatoine the Millitary Police Force was dismissed and the 10th Stom Mountain Division was sent in to re take the Fort. TX-42 walked the halls of Station Gamma he wore a black Imperial Officers uniforums the with a lieutenant rank on it, he also wore the Emperor's cross a sign of bravery. He won the Emperors cross after Commander Key had found out that he had gone back to help AT-50. He was promoted to Lieutenant and given the Emperor's Cross. "TX-42, how is your old CO" VD-88 asked, he was short out of shape secreatary for Commander Key, he was looked down on due to the fact that he had never been deployed. "Good, VD-88, tell the Commander that me and AT-50 are heading to the Mos Eisley cantina." TX-42 said he saw AT-50 walk in front of him "Hey Lieutenant, ready to head to the cantina?" AT-50 said. "Yep" TX-42 said. At the cantina TX-42 and AT-50 sat down at the bar. "Tarisian Ale please" TX-42 said "jawa beer for me" AT-50 said. "Im lucky you came back." AT-50 said. "The StormTrooper code say's leave no Trooper behind." TX-42 said he took a sip of his drink. "Well, thanks agian and cheers for surving that hell hole of a place!" AT-50 shouted. They made a cheer and drank more. TX-42 sat up he walked to talk his brother who was serving in the 1st Imperial Tie Inteceptor Division. "Hey Zack" TX-42 said. "Zeth is that you, havnt seen you in 6 months since we joined the Empire!" Zack said hugging his brother. "How's the pilot career going?" TX-42 asked. "21 rebels shot down, im an Ace see i got the Imperial Cross oak and leaves and diamonds" Zack said smiling he was a tall man he wore an Imperial Flight Ace jacket and had several medals. "I got Emperor's Cross." TX-42 said " I heard about that awful deployment hows your old CO?" Zack asked concerned "Good, he's over there care to join us?" "Sure" Zack said he walked over to the bar. After hours in the cantina they headed back to their assigned Stations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 12, 2008 Author Share Posted August 12, 2008 Chapter 6 On tatoine about 15 stormtroopers walked down the street near the Mos Eisley cantina. "At 8:00 this morning Commander Key's Imperial transport was ambushed by a Local milita on his way to meet with General Romlin the commander of the 5th At-AT Infintry regiment. Terriost attacks escalated since the attack. As of now Mos Eisley has been put under Martial Law and the 1st Millitary Police Force has been called back to duty, Colonel Sevon has taken command until Commander Key injurys are healed, that is all you are watching Imperial News." TX-42 sat in an Imperial AT-ST and waited to disembark to the Red zone where there was suspected Rebels are locatated. He exited slid down a rope and was up agianst wall. "Alpha team this is bravo team get ready to move out!" TX-42 shouted. He ran to a building, Rebels opened fire at him and his team. He fired his carbine at the rebels hitting one. "Enemy down continue to the location." TX-42 ran torwoards the house and fired his carbine "The rebels arnt here." TX-42 said. "Roger proceed back to the HQ." Said AT-90 "All Imperial Forces fall back to HQ!" TX-42 got into an Imperial Transport. 1 week later "Imperial Military Police have been succsesfull at eliminating the rebel's responsible for injuring Commander Key's" Said a news reporter TX-42 stood at his position at the starport entrance. since the attempt on Commander Key's life only certant areas of Mos Eisley were open if you didnt have a security card. "Welcome to Mos Eisley since the recent rebel activity in the area only civilians with security cards are allowed to enter the restricted areas." TX-42 said to a civilian, that was his usual routine, he had always hated checkpoint security but even more now that he stood for hours on end. TX-42 took off his helmet and smoked Black and wild cigar. The Emperor didnt like smoking for some reason butit was allowed just not in his presence. TX-42 took out his canteen and drank some water also, It was hot especialy wearing all that armor. "Lieutenant, i'vehave been assigned to substatute for you General Glalm wants to talk to you." Said a Stormtrooper he wore sandtrooper armor and his armor was dirty. TX-42 met with the General. "Lieutenant Matthias, much has changed since we last met. you have won the Emperor's cross, promoted to Lieutenant. I've been promoted to General earned the Imperial Cross and the Emperor's Cross, my point is that Commander Key's is out of the picture his injury's are much to sever to return to active duty. So i want to merge the 1st Imperial Millitary Police force with the 4th sand trooper regiment." General Glalm said he wore a white Imperial officer uniform, with possibly 20 medals on it. TX-42 took off his helmet once agian his dirty brown hair hung down he pushed it out of his face. "Im not the one you should talk to General Sevon is the one you should chat with." TX-42 said. "Well, I'll talk to him come here tomarrow 12:00 for a dinner with my advisor's, You are dismised Lieutenant" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev7 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Not bad work but I do have some advice. I have noticed that you have been saying "said" a lot in your writing. Yes, it is fine and dandy to say "said" after someone talks just not all of the time. There is Shouted, yelled, screamed, ordered, commanded, ect. The list goes on. That would make your writing a lot more lively. Good job though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 thank, yes i've noticed i said that alot to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EXzSoldier Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 Chapter 7 TX-42 walked the halls of the Mos Eisley Police Center. "Recent attacks on the capital have died down and the 1st Millitary Police Force is expected to pull out of the city soon. Commander Key's has made a statment that he has decided to return to active duty. Also General Glalm has set a date when the new Desert Storm Police Corps will be activated so that the 1st Millitary Police Force will be able to take leave." A new's hologram announced to the Millitary Police Force. AT-50 signaled for TX-42 to come over. "Hey, what did General Glalm want?" "He wanted to merge the MP force with the 4th sandtrooper Regiment." "He's crazy!" AT-50 shouted. TX-42 put on his Black Storm Trooper chest plate. "I agree, oh well Commander Key's won allow it, beside's the Desert Storm Police Corp will be formed and we'll be out of this dump!" AT-50 sighed and walked away. TX-42 walked and put on his helmet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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