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Lets all stop arguing about JK..


Nimrod

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..and what will happen in JK2 and all read this. It was written by a good friend of mine, EX_Gerrard_IV, in the 'good old days'.

 

 

Jedi Knight Sunscreen

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99:

Play BGJ Cave. If I could offer you only one tip for

the future, playing BGJ cave would be it. The

long-term benefits of playing BGJ cave have been

proved by top JK players, whereas the rest of my

advice has no basis more reliable than my own

meandering experience. I will dispense this advice

now. Enjoy the power and beauty of weapon mods. Oh,

never mind. You will not been understand the power and

beauty of weapon mods until their dead and replaced by

Spork 3.0. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back

at screenshots of yourself with a bazooka and recall

in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay

before you and how fabulous you really played. You are

not as newbie as you imagine. Don't worry about the

force 1. Or play force 1 at all, but know that playing

force 1 is as effective as trying to solve an algebra

equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in

your JK performance are apt to be things that never

crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you

during the final rounds of the LND tourney. Play

against one expert every day that scares you. Strafe.

Don't be reckless with other people's clans. Don't put

up with people who are reckless with yours. Sidestep.

Don't waste your time on newbies. Sometimes you're

ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and,

in the end, it's only until you were beat by the

newbie who plays "leave packs at BGJ". Remember games

you won in tourneys. Forget the games you lost. If you

succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old

patches. Throw away your old screenshots. Force jump.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to

do with yourself. The most experienced people I know

didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with

themselves. Some of the 40-year-olds I know don't even

know what skin to go with. Get plenty of ladderbux. Be

kind to your shields. You'll miss them when their

gone. Maybe you'll win in three duels, maybe you

won't. Maybe you'll force you?re opponent to fall off

a cliff, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll self-kill;

maybe you'll dance the hokey pokey at the LND tourney.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much,

or berate yourself either. Your top winning is

half-chance. So is everybody else's. Enjoy the skins

you've made. Use them every way you can. Don't be

afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's

the greatest grouping of pixels you'll ever make.

Swing, even if you have no reason to do it but to

slash a crate. Read the instruction booklet and tips

page, even if you don't follow them. Do not listen to

the top 20 ladder players. They will only make you

feel inadequate. Get to know your clan leader. You

never know when he'll be gone for good. Be nice to

your teammates. They're your best link to your

problems and the people most likely to stick with you

when your idea for a force pull at BGJ strategy goes

away. Understand that players come and go, but there

are a precious few players that stay. Work hard to

bridge the changes in mods, because the older you get,

the more you need the mods you knew how to play when

you were young. Play Cases Ladder once, but stop

before it makes you into a cheating, win-at-all-costs

hacker. Play Spork once, but stop before it turns you

into an absolute newbie. Jump. Accept certain

inalienable truths: The speed of the game will rise.

Top name players will cheat. You, too, will get old.

And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were

young, game lengths were reasonable, top name players

were noble, and tourney players respected LND. Respect

LND. Don't expect anyone else to support your insane

strafing habit. Maybe you have a mentor fund. Maybe

you'll have an elite friend. But you never know when

either one might run out. Don't move you fingers too

fast, or by the time you've played 400 games, you will

feel like you've played 800. Be careful whose

technique you copy, and do not be patient with those

who copy yours. Copying is a cheap. Playing them in a

tournament is a way of fishing the best from the

world, claiming it as your own and racking up the

LadderBux points to a level greater than your worth.

But trust me on playing BGJ cave.

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