A few notes on Multiplayer tactics and strategy

[HappyPrancer]

I am the all knowing master of multiplayer and I have come to enlighten those who wish to improve their Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast abilities.

 

Here are a list of things which will help you to earn points on a server and thus bring meaning to your life:

 

1. Type as much as you can. That's really why we bought this game isn't it? Typing is not only a way of sharing your voice with the globe, but it will also distract your opponents. If you can't think of a good reason to type here are some suggestions:

 

- someone is being a lame-ass, or a lame-wad, or a no-skill-bum-lame-wad-ass and they need to know so that they can reevaluate their life.

 

-Someone is using force-powers on a "jedi master" server, or guns on a non-"saber only" server and you wish to discuss and evaluate the dynamics of their decision.

 

-You've thought of an excellent soup recepie that needs to be known throughout the internet.

 

2. Get really, really mad if someone kills you while you are composing your masters thesis on "why HappyPrancer is a lame-ass-wad-bum-wad-ass." When this rage is detected by your opponent, it will intimidate him into making a mistake that will cost him his polygonal life.

 

3. Spend as much time in a lightsaber dual as you can on FFA servers. It may seem like a waste of time to spend 9 minutes earning one kill, only to have someone fire a rocket into the middle of your melee and kill you both, but really it's worthwhile. I can't think of a fesicious reason why, so try and come up with your own.

 

4. Get really, really mad when someone kills you and your opponent, who have just spent 9 minutes desperately trying to hit eachother by waving their light-sticks around like feather dusters (note the monkey island allusion), by firing a rocket at you.

 

5. Hold down the walk button with your saber drawn but not lit, looking like a defenceless little girl and wait for someone to get the easy point by throwing you into some obscenely deep crevas. Get really mad when this happens. Be sure to type an essay about it.

 

These 5 steps I have laid out will ensure your victory in every JKII:JO server in the universe. They may seem easy to follow at first, but true mastery of these techniques requires years of kung fu. Just remember these simple rules:

 

Typing is more fun than playing. 90% of your time should be spent criticizing other players playing styles. Remember, if your not beating them, they're doing something wrong.

 

By the end of every game, the veins in your forehead should be protruding by at least 1/2 to 1 cm. There are plenty of things to get mad about, you just have to know where to look. If this rage prevents you from enjoying the game, take solice in the fact that it has helped you to become a better Jedi.

 

May the force be with you, always

 

 

-HP

[SPY_jmr1]

first thing that comes to mind is "wow"

 

2nd thing is "hope you have some high end aircraft standing by, say, SR-71. you gonna need it to out run some of the flames heading your way.(not from me, was a very cool post, ROCK ON!)

 

and third was your fourm gift, here: *forks over lightsaber(re) candy bay gift TM* enjoy.

 

welcome to the fourms, really came in with a bang, keep it up:D

[Pedantic]

*cough*forum*cough*