Darth Webster Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 What kind of moron signs up for service at an Imperial StormTrooper?? I mean, jeez!! They obviously get NO training, can't see a boot in their face, and have a lifespan shorter than the fuse on a thermal detonator! And that armor!! Sure, it looks nice, but it's not even a match for a sharp stick thown by a ticked off teady bear !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyJAllTheWay Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 lol. It's funny cuz it's true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightHawk420 Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 LOL and just think they we're supposed to be a threat. Or I like from ep4, where obi-wan tells luke how accurate storm troopers are, then they get aboard the death star, getting shot at by 30 storm trooppers and no one gets hit. But those damn storm troopers sure do. And just what in the hell is that armor for??? I've heard it's supposed to repel blasters, but it sure don't do that. Hell the guys get a little gun scrape and they die. go figure. Guess that's what you get from the mind of a sci-fi flick from a hippie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Webster Posted May 25, 2002 Author Share Posted May 25, 2002 I guess that Obi One ment accurate in that they could actually hit a sandcrawler from 30 feet away! How do you figure the Empire recruts these guys? Offices walk into dark smelly bars, find the drunkest guy there, give him a blaster and call him "trained"? Or maybe they use Medi-recruting programs. Posters that read; The empire needs YOU! See the gallexy(and blow up a small part of it), meet interesting aliens (and kill them), get strangled by your own comanding officer! Ah, I know... a simple add in the paper: "Wanted; blaster bolt catchers" What do ya think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale7007 Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 I always wondered how someone in PURE WHITE could stay hidden, beacuse come on folks. its just that hard to hit someone so visible. id say the empire has 4,059,594 stormtroopers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 uhhhhhh, did you guys wonder what all the clones were in EP2?? Those are the storm troopers, they are all clones. You dont join up to be a trooper your born one. Also the clone stock must degrade over time since they were kinda sub par in the latter movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Webster Posted May 25, 2002 Author Share Posted May 25, 2002 I was wondering how long it would take before someone pointed out that little factiod. Don't worry, I won't call you a GEEK or anything Actually, I haven't yet seen EP2 but I knew that anyway. It Don't take much brain power to figure out what the referance to "The Clone Wars" was all about... However, this is called a JOKE!!!! You know, HAAAHAAHAA, type stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mithiril Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 Stormtroopers are recruits, the clones died out during The Clone Wars.. And remember that strange lady kaminoan said "If you want more(more clones), it'll take time". The emporer doesn't have any patience (he's a dark jedi), he just calls upon recruits. The Stormtrooper armor doesn't protect against direct blaster fire, but it does repel explosives to a degree, as well as richochet fire. It keeps a stormtrooper warm in cold conditions, or cool in hot conditions. Why don't storm troopers hit anyone in the movies? because in the movies? Because they have to shoot at the good guys. If a stormtrooper had to fight a tusken raider, he would suddenly become super accurate. It would be a pretty bad if once Han, Luke and Chewie just walked into the detention center and got blasted to pieces without having a chance. THE END.. Then Ben Kenobi just falls of a ledge while he's turning down the tractor beam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sutek Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 In the RPG we always refer to the "Stormtrooper Firing Academy", because the first rule they teach there is to always miss (wildly) with your first shot. The same thing is taught to TIE Fighter pilots. OTOH, perhaps they were *reputed* be deadly accurate, but just did it with mass fire or something. Similarly, it's the intimidation value of 300 men all carrying blasters (and at least knowing which direction to point them in), all wearing identical near featureless white armour (however useless it really is, they sohuld call it Stormtrooper Tissuepaper instead), and knowing that you can shoot as many as you like of them, more will keep on coming. THAT'S why they are supposed to be feared. But still...hohoho, since it is a joke after all :> PS: Thanks for the spoiler, I haven't yet seen the movie (was planning to go tonight if it's quiet enough), and so I didn't know THAT much about the bloody clones and their origins. Well done, and thanks. Not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Webster Posted May 25, 2002 Author Share Posted May 25, 2002 Yeah, jeez... I'm gonna go see EP2 this monday! What are you trying to do?? Trash the whole thing for me?? What a stupid thing to do!! Now you must head directly to your nearest stromtrooper recruting facility and serve a term of 3 days (the average life span of any stormtrooper)! JK BTW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedantic Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 Originally posted by Mithiril Stormtroopers are recruits, the clones died out during The Clone Wars.. And remember that strange lady kaminoan said "If you want more(more clones), it'll take time". The emporer doesn't have any patience (he's a dark jedi), he just calls upon recruits. And just how do you know that the clones die out? Why couldn't Palpatine just order more, hmmm? You may also recall that 200,000 units were ready and 1 million more were "well on the way." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 Sorry about the spoiler, I figgured everyones seen it by now. Not like its much of a spoiler though. Not like I told you Darth Vader is Lukes father. Ooops. Plus why the hell havnt you seen it yet? Get off the pc now and go see it, thats an order. Also I have this old magazine from when I saw empire when I was a kid and it said in there that the storm troopers were clones. I suppose they would also recruit to suppliment the stock, but Im willing to bet the bulk of them are clones. Oh also I guess I missed the joke part, I assumed it was written in a joking manner, while on that subject did you see the "Troopers" fan film, thats funny stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Con. Snake Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 The armor protects against the vacuum of space. Thats why when you shut off the forcefields and opened bay doors they were still alive and screaming as they flew out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sutek Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 They were still screaming because they hadn't died at that point. The volume of air in the bay coupled with the armour providing a LITTLE protection was sufficient to prevent explosive decompression, it would have just been a little slower (the whole bleeding from your eyes and ears bit as they hemorhage first). And some of us hadn't seen the film cos we couldn't get through the frickin' queues. My gf and I went tonight, expecting it to be fairly quiet, only to find a large queue outside, but we DID get in. The most annoying thing though, was this kid behind me who kept whispering to the people around him (I suffer from not being able to tune out background noise...makes clubs a nightmare) every major event just before it happened. I wanted to break his neck. I still do. Little bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Webster Posted May 26, 2002 Author Share Posted May 26, 2002 Troops Rocks!! Heehee, I first saw that about 3 years ago... Anyone who has not seen "Troops" GO DOWNLOAD IT NOW!!! Your not a StarWars have until you've seen it! BTW, while it is copywriten material it is avalible for free distribution (I hope that takes any legal heat off!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadKiwi Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 Lol I'm gonna wait for a while to see it. The reason is I like to get stoned before I see a movie and if I have to wait in a queue then the buzz would've worn off by the time it starts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sutek Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 Where do we find it? I've seen it mentioned a thousand times, but never actually seen it exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Webster Posted May 26, 2002 Author Share Posted May 26, 2002 You could try Kazaa (or some other file sharing service), or just try searching for it on the 'net... That's how I got it. I'll take a look see and see if I can find an actual addie to post here... Go look for it NOW!! post your reaction to it here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sutek Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 Weeell, once I started LOOKING, it took me all of about 30 seconds. Gotta love Yahoo sometimes. the address I found was this one: http://www.theforce.net/theater/shortfilms/troops/ And I just finished watching it. I had to say it was damned funny...especially the Jawas. The background effects like the shuttle were impressive to say the least, and I'm probably too tired to really comment coherently. Superb though, and only 27mb. Is this film the same one you were referring to? If not, I'll keep looking (tomorrow....time to...sleeeeeeeep) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Webster Posted May 26, 2002 Author Share Posted May 26, 2002 If you observant and watch Sience Fiction Theater 2000, you might just recognize the droids that are in dispute... For ferther StarWars coolness, see if you can find Metalica's rendition of the imperial march! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[CO] HellmasteR Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 Originally posted by Darth Webster they could actually hit a sandcrawler from 30 feet away! Probably not... :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-thefly- Posted May 26, 2002 Share Posted May 26, 2002 Originally posted by Sutek My gf and I went tonight, expecting it to be fairly quiet, only to find a large queue outside, but we DID get in. Right. Originally posted by Darth Webster If you observant and watch Sience Fiction Theater 2000, you might just recognize the droids that are in dispute... Dammit boy! You ain't no MisTy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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