Jaster21801 Posted July 9, 2002 Posted July 9, 2002 Since I can't seem to find a section of these forums that deal with the Star Wars movies in general, why don't we play the same game with the original movies and EP I too? Here's one to begin with... Luke: Sandpeople. They're the worst. Well come on lets have a look. *Through macrobinoculars* Luke: Well, there are two Banthas down there but I don't see any- Wait, there are sandpeople I can see one of them now. Tusken: AUUUUUUGGH! <Do excuse me sir, are you in need of assistance?*> Luke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! <Your mother wears army boots!!!!> Tusken: EOAAAAAAAA! <Surely you jest sir! My only desire is to be of help!> *Luke runs away screaming* Tusken: AUUUUUUUUUGH UR UR UR!!!!! <Sport with me no longer sir! Let me aid you!!!!!> *Translated from Tusken dialect
Darth Vader 421 Posted July 9, 2002 Posted July 9, 2002 "You've failed, your highness. I am a duck, like my father before me." "So be it. Duck." "It's going to cost you a little extra. Ten pence, all in advance." "Ten pence! We could buy our own row-boat for that!" "If you spent as much time on your chat-up lines that you did on your wit, then you would rival Master Yoda as a womaniser." "I thought I already did." "Can you help him?" "I'm not sure. I did not come here for a rest and a drink." "Now, young Skywalker, you will laugh." They are all really bad, I know, but hey...
Jaster21801 Posted July 9, 2002 Author Posted July 9, 2002 Originally posted by boba fett c3po that are the lines of one of the cartoons from the diary of a crazy mimbanite website Yes I was well aware of this. I was merely using it as a kick off...
Darth Vader 421 Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 Lord Darth Vader: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to that little puppy you had when you were three, did he?" Luke Skywalker: "He told me enough!" [swings down] "He told me you killed him!" Lord Darth Vader: "No. I am that puppy." Luke Skywalker: "Fluffy? Is... is it really you?" Princess Leia: "Tarkin. I recognised your foul stench when I was brought on board." Grand Moff Tarkin: "Yes, well... we all run out of deoderant sometimes..." Nute Gunray: "What? What did you say?" TC-14: "The Ambassadors are Jedi Knights I believe." Doulty Dofine: "Break out the Ferero Roche, these guys will be hard to win over..." Jabba the Hutt: "I like my favourite decoration where it is." C-3PO: "Oh my! What a nice Christmas Tree!" Jabba the Hutt: "Not that decoration, you foolish droid! I meant Han Solo in carbonite!" C-3PO: "Ah... right..."
Jaster21801 Posted July 10, 2002 Author Posted July 10, 2002 Threepio: Turn around you wooly! I can't see. Ohh, they've encased him in carbonite. I never much liked that Captain Solo anyway Chewbacca: Grwwaaaaaaaah! Threepio: No! No! What are you doing Chewbacca? I need me arms! NO!!!!!!!! And that was the last of Threepio...
MotionMan Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 Lando: Is there a problem with your droid? Han: No problem .(sarcastic) We always tear our droids to peices for fun. Lando: ok follow me. Han: did you fix the hyper drive on the falcon? Lando: Yea I got the some newb mechanics...I mean my best men on it right now.
Jaster21801 Posted July 10, 2002 Author Posted July 10, 2002 This isn't altered but I wonder how many of you caught this line... I know I didn't for a long time Han Solo: You like me because I'm a scoundrel don't you? There aren't enough scoundrels in your life. Leia: I happen to like nice men. Han: I am a nice man. Leia: No you're not. *kiss* took me so long to hear the "no you're not" line... lol and now for a modified version Han Solo: You like me because I'm a scoundrel don't you? There aren't enough scoundrels in your life. Leia: I happen to like nice men. Han: I am a nice man. Leia: No you're not. *kiss* Threepio: Sir sir! Oooookay, I'll be leaving now... I'll never understand humans, why don't they just get a room?
Jedi_Monk Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 Ya know the reason why R2 talks in beeps? It's because all he does is curse; F this and F that and F you, 3PO! So the censors wouldn't let Lucas put that into his movie, so they just beeped out everything he said
MotionMan Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 Originally posted by Jedi_Monk Ya know the reason why R2 talks in beeps? It's because all he does is curse; F this and F that and F you, 3PO! So the censors wouldn't let Lucas put that into his movie, so they just beeped out everything he said LOL I always thought the same thing. R2 is kinda like kenny in South Park.
Jaster21801 Posted July 10, 2002 Author Posted July 10, 2002 Didn't they put that in one of the movies? Somthing like... Artoo: Beep Whistle Beep Threepio: You watch your language!
MotionMan Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 Originally posted by Jaster21801 Didn't they put that in one of the movies? Somthing like... Artoo: Beep Whistle Beep Threepio: You watch your language! Ya there have been sevral instances that C3pO gets all riled up by what R2 says:)
ET Warrior Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 Luke: "What a piece of junk!" *Han shoots luke* Han: "And what do you think of my ship old man?" ObiWan: "I like it..."
Jaster21801 Posted July 10, 2002 Author Posted July 10, 2002 lmfao Fast forward a while... Han: I'm Han Solo, I'm here for the money. I mean to rescue you. I've got your droid. I'm with Ben Kenobi. Fast forward a lil more... Leia: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought. *Han shoots Leia* Han: Why is it that whenever I start to like a woman she turns out to be a *itch?
ET Warrior Posted July 10, 2002 Posted July 10, 2002 I'm not certain at what point in ESB this line comes in.....well, only the first line..... Leia: "Would it help if i got out and pushed?" Han: "ALRIGHT! ONE MORE JOKE ABOUT MY SHIP AND THE WOOKIE GETS IT!!!!" Chewie: "Rrrrrrrggggrrrrrrn?" Han: " I'm just trying to make them think i'm insane, calm down furball"
Jaster21801 Posted July 11, 2002 Author Posted July 11, 2002 lol... y'know there is supposedly a deleted scene in ESB where Threepio shows his sadism... He takes the warning label off of the wampa room so that the imperials will stumble on it...
ET Warrior Posted July 11, 2002 Posted July 11, 2002 C3PO: "Sir, the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are approximately 3,720 to 1! Han: "well, if we stop and look at this from an outside view, we would see that navigating an asteroid field is nearly impossible, however due to the force of gravitational fluxuation that is always inside of an asteroid field we can assume that my ship is constantly being..oh dear i've gone cross-eyed......" C3PO: "We're doomed"
Legacy_Of_Sith Posted July 11, 2002 Posted July 11, 2002 Originally posted by Darth Vader 421 Lord Darth Vader: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to that little puppy you had when you were three, did he?" Luke Skywalker: "He told me enough!" [swings down] "He told me you killed him!" Lord Darth Vader: "No. I am that puppy." Luke Skywalker: "Fluffy? Is... is it really you?" Princess Leia: "Tarkin. I recognised your foul stench when I was brought on board." Grand Moff Tarkin: "Yes, well... we all run out of deoderant sometimes..." Nute Gunray: "What? What did you say?" TC-14: "The Ambassadors are Jedi Knights I believe." Doulty Dofine: "Break out the Ferero Roche, these guys will be hard to win over..." Jabba the Hutt: "I like my favourite decoration where it is." C-3PO: "Oh my! What a nice Christmas Tree!" Jabba the Hutt: "Not that decoration, you foolish droid! I meant Han Solo in carbonite!" C-3PO: "Ah... right..." ROFLMAO!!!!! @%&$ing brilliant, Vader 421!!!
AgentSmith Posted July 16, 2002 Posted July 16, 2002 Trade Federation Battleship hangar scene. Qui-Gon : 'We'll stow away aboard seperate ships and meet back on the surface.' Obi-Wan : 'You were right about one thing Master, the negotiations were short.' Qui-Gon : 'Oh shut up you brat!' Naboo swamp scene, Gungan sacred place. Padme : 'Your honor, I am Queen Amidala.' Boss Nass : 'Wasssen diss be?' Padme : 'This is my decoy, my protector, loyal bodyguard.' *Everyone looks stunned.* Obi-Wan : 'Had you even sensed this Master?' Qui-Gon 'Off course I had you stupid twerp! Shut up!' Jedi Temple, Coruscant. Qui-Gon : 'I take Anakin as my Padawan learner.' Obi Wan : 'What? What about me!?! You don't love me!!! Meanie!!!' *Obi-Wan takes off crying.* Yoda : 'Master Qui-Gon, look done what you have now!' Qui-Gon : 'I didn't mean upset the little jerk but he's so damn sensitive!' Mace : 'I do not believe you should take on another apprentice, you screwed up all the ones you had before, it's been enough!' Qui-Gon : 'This about Obi-Wan's womanizing isn't it? Well he sure doesn't get that from me!' Yoda : 'Betray your thoughs do you. Proof there stands in young Anakin of behaviour at 'Ladies night' in bar on Tatooine 10 years ago! Schmi knock up did you. Council this knows.'
Jaster21801 Posted July 17, 2002 Author Posted July 17, 2002 LMAO! Leia: Well I guess you don't know everything about women... *to Luke* Hey stud, how's it hangin? Luke: Wait aren't you going to turn out to be my si..... Hot damn, lay it on me baby what if Qui-Gon were Homer Simpson and Obi-Wan was Bart? Obi-Wan: It's not disrespect master, it's the truth. The boy is dangerous. The council sees it, why can't you? Qui-Gon: Why you little! *strangles Obi-Wan* Obi-Wan: *choking* Please, master, have you been drinking? Qui-Gon: No, no no... all right, 10 Correlian ales... Obi-Wan: *hic* I gave *burp* Qui-Gon my word. I will train *hic* Anakin ash my padawan. Yoda: Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you. And his drunkenness. Obi-Wan, pull yourself together you must. Then Skywalker's fate we will decide. Obi-Wan: But I'm *hic* ready now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!!! *starts crying like a baby* Yoda: What know you of ready? For 300 years have I trained Jedi. What I come up with this is. Failure I am. Preserve honor I must. Obi-Wan. Leave the Jedi code you must. Expelled you are.
Lord Exar Kun27 Posted July 17, 2002 Posted July 17, 2002 Emperor: We have a new enemy, Luke Skywalker. The Son of skywalker must not become a Jedi Knight. He's one bad mother.. Vader: Shut your mouth!
Lord Exar Kun27 Posted July 17, 2002 Posted July 17, 2002 Han: Laugh it up fuzzball, you didn't see us alone in the south passage. She expressed her true feelings for me. Leia: Why you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking, nerf herder! Han: Whose scruffy looking?[turns to Luke] Must be that time of the month huh kid? Leia: Well I guess you don't know everything about women's cycles now do you?
Irishman26 Posted July 17, 2002 Posted July 17, 2002 vader: LUKE!! I am ur fathers, brothers, 2nd cousins, former roommate. luke: and what does that make us vader: absolutely nothing. vader than cleaves luke in 2
Irishman26 Posted July 17, 2002 Posted July 17, 2002 Ep2 what mace should have said after killing jango mace: DON'T FU** WITH A JEDI MASTER. anakin dooku seen dooku: foolish boy, i thought u would have learned ur lesson anakin: i am a slow learner dooku: y would my master want such a stupid boy 2 replace me in the next film. Then again i am pretty old. Jangos last thoughts. got 2 get milk after i leave this battle he keeps deflecting, this jedi is good Mace destroys jangos gun time 4 me 2 take off what the, my jetpack maybe being run over by a reek wasn't such a good idea. i just had 2 have that lightsaber, now look where..... jango gets his head lopped off
Lord Exar Kun27 Posted July 18, 2002 Posted July 18, 2002 Originally posted by Irishman26 vader: LUKE!! I am ur fathers, brothers, 2nd cousins, former roommate. luke: and what does that make us vader: absolutely nothing. vader than cleaves luke in 2 Dude, that's a rip off from Spaceballs.
Lord Exar Kun27 Posted July 18, 2002 Posted July 18, 2002 Vader: Join me and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son. Luke: Dude, aren't you taking the whole "Father-Son Bonding" thing a bit too far??
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