Jump to content

Home

Star Wars Trilogies humor quotes/lines: what they could have been


Jaster21801

Recommended Posts

*Luke and Vader fighting in front of Sidious.

 

-Sidious-"Thats it. Let your anger out. Soon youll call me master"

 

-Vader-"It is pointless to resist my son"

 

-Luke-"I will never join you daddy. Besides I sense the good in you"

 

-Vader-"you are mistaken my son. Now quit hiding or im pulling out my light saber belt!"

 

-Luke-"Ha , you cant find me! Plus I wont fight you daddy."

 

-Vader-"Then you will die!"

 

*Vader swings in Lukes direction. His saber flies off his hand.

 

-Vader-"CURSES! Damn robotic hand doesnt have the grip it used to.

-Vader*to himself*-Perhaps getting a alcohol dispencer in my suit was a bad idea.

 

-Sidious*to himself*-clumsy fool. Either his parts are too old or he is drunk again.

 

-Vader-" Your thoughts dwell on your friends and...Your sister. Sooo Obi-wan was wise to hide her from me. Damn him he wanted to claim her on his taxes I bet. Well if you wont party with us siths then maybe she will."

 

-Luke-"NOOOOOOO.....Daddy I thought I was your favorite!"

 

*Luke rushes his father and manages to get the upper hand on Vader*

 

-Vader-"OK OK You can chill with us Siths calm down"

 

-Sidious-"Step aside my aprentice. I shall handle this"

 

*Sidious frys Luke with his lightning*

 

-Luke-"AHHHHHHHHH dont hit me no more uncle owen...um...I mean daddy heeelllppp!"

 

-Sidious-"Lord Vader put me on your shoulders quickly. Im getting tierd of standing and I can shoot from a better angle from up there".

 

*Vader picks up Sidious*

 

-Sidious-"hhheyy nnnooow wwwaaiit yyoouurr stummbling. Your going to ddrrroopp meee........Ahhhhhhhhhh....dddaaammmn foooooolllll!"

 

-Vader-"I promised him I was going to stop drinking. *Sigh* sorry my master.

 

-Luke-"Hey look on the bright side, now we could rule the galaxy as father and son."

 

-Vader-"*Sigh* I think ill try to pursuade your sister instead.

 

-Luke-"What?! no please no no no"

*luke throws a tantrum*

 

-Vader-"alright , alright, sheesh.

*Vader to himself* I think its time to become one with the force. I cant stand my brat of a child any longer.

 

-Vader-"ok son close your eyes and count to 10. As soon as you open your eyes everything will be well. Me you and your sister will go rent "The little mermaid" and watch it together. Then we will tell each other how much we care for one another.

 

-Luke-"Oh boy I cant wait! Here I go"

 

*Vader to himself*-"heh hehevilgrin.gif my death will be well worth this.

 

-Luke- 1....2.....3.....4....5....6.....

 

*Vader disapears*

 

-Luke- 7....8....9...10!

 

-Luke-FATHER! NOOO WHYYYY!:crybaby:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

that was a great one MotionMan. LOL

 

 

In the Death Star

Vader: We meet again Obi-Wan. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master!

Obi-Wan (drunk once again): You finally learned to *hic* hold you liquor? Whoo damn boy, we've got to find the bar on this shpace shtation.

Vader: Errr. No, I am a master of evil. Look, are you going to be sober enough to fight me?

Obi-Wan: Fight? Didn't I teach you nothin? Go pick a willow branch Annie *hic* I learn you that lesson. You said I was like your *hic* father once. *Burp* Now I get to *hic* act like it!

*Obi-Wan hurls*

Vader: *groans* I just shined these boots

Obi-Wan (sobering up): Now, where were we. Ah yes.. If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Vader: Hrm... More powerful eh, how bout we call this off?

*Obi-Wan advances and strikes Vader*

Vader: All right b***h, now you've gone and asked for this. I'm gonna spank you like a little red-headed stepchild.

*Their lightsabers clash*

Vader: You are weak old man.

Obi-Wan: That's not what your mother said

Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Leave her out of this!!!

Obi-Wan: Easy now Darth. Let's not get too hasty, it was just a j--

*Vader swings mightily at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan vanishes at the climax of the deathblow*

Vader: That'll learn that tubby b***h not to talk s*** about my momma.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hows about these:

 

Jar Jar: Mesa Jar Jar Binks..Mesa you humble Ser....

 

*Vhhhrumm....obi wan chops of Jar-Jars head*

 

Qui-Gon: why did you do that

Obi-Wan: The horror of cheap merchendising is a weapon of the dark side master

 

_________

 

Anakin: Im tormented by the fart you never should have done to me

 

_________

 

Anakin: I hate sand.. its gritty and gets down the ass crack

 

_________

 

Dooku: I see this contest cannot be decided with our knoledge of the force...but with our skills of.......

 

*fast forward*

 

Dooku: Left foot red

 

_________

 

 

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One or 2 new ones

 

 

Luke: " He told me enough!, he told me you killed him"

 

Vader: "No, I am you farthers sisters cousins best friends daughters brother in laws fieances uncles grandsons farther"

 

Luke: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

___________________________

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...