some Michael Jackson stuff to amuse yourselves with

[Natty At Work]

here we have Michael Jackson crossed with the lovely former Spice Girl herself Victoria *cough*anorexic *cough**splutter* slag *ahem* Beckham

 

The Jackson 4, a new reality TV series coming soon to the Cartoon Network. Maybe now we'll find out where Prince Michael the 2nd mysteriously came from

 

and here's a lovely article on Michael Jackson himself

 

It's a wacko life for Jacko's kids

 

He's afraid of touching his children, dreading the germs they carry. He instructs minders to dress the little boy and girl like dolls, carrying them instead of letting them walk. And now Michael Jackson is set to inflict this bizarre lifestyle on another child - his new baby son.

The very existence of the mysterious infant, named Prince Michael II, has been kept secret for six months. Michael chose to parade him in public only recently, introducing him to Las Vegas magicians Siegfried and Roy on a backstage visit.

He said simply, "This is my third child." His other children, five-year-old Prince Michael I and sister Paris Michael, four, stood by obediently and silently with their nannies.

Wacko Jacko's revelation has had the showbiz world reeling. Jackson camp insiders insist Prince II was conceived "the natural way", leading to intense speculation about the identity of the baby's mother.

Michael fathered his first two children with Debbie Rowe, his wife from November 1996 to October 1999. Debbie, once an assistant at his dermatologist's office, has a long-standing relationship with the fallen King of Pop, and was recently seen out with him and all three kids.

"It was surprising, because normally Debbie never sees them or visits," says a source.

"Debbie's been completely out of their lives. Michael cut her a huge cheque under the stipulation that she walk and never return, and she hasn't. She couldn't have seen them even if she wanted to."

It's an indication of the future facing Price II, who Michael generally refers to as "the third" or "number three". Our source fears the boy will be forced to live "in that same bizarre, twisted environment" as his siblings.

"Their home life is extremely strange," says our insider. "It's a far cry from the domestic situation of your everyday working family. These kids are a far cry from normal."

Jacko's wacky parenting techniques include: rarely touching his children as he's terrified of catching germs and becoming ill; insisting they be dressed like living china dolls; employing two nannies or "handlers" for each child, and speaking to his children in a cold, monotone voice.

Even more disturbing, he seems intent on tampering with his offspring's appearance in much the same way he has altered his own. As our insider observes, "Prince Michael I's dark hair is always bleached blonde. He has vary pale skin with dark roots on the scalp. He's a very bizarre-looking five-year-old boy."

"Michael insists Paris always has tight spiral curls in her blonde hair. And that means a hot curling iron."

Michael and the children live at Neverland ranch, the multi-hectare multi-million-dollar amusement compound near Santa Barbara, California which costs $400,000 a year to run. Jacko also spends $600,000 annually on maintaining a vast collection of fun-park rides - for his entertainment, not his kids.

"Prince and Paris are not like normal children. They don't run around and play and laugh and get into mischeif. It's almost painful to see how they live.

"They are little life-like china dolls. That's how Michael wants them. But that is far from normal for kids their age."

The Jackson confidant says Michael always takes the children with him on business trips and mini-holidays.

"But its always a big to-do and very expensive, with a dozen or more staffers and handlers fussing over the family's every need, desire and whim."

Late last February when Michael joined his pal Elizabeth Taylor on her 10-day 70th birthday celebration, he took Prince I and Paris along.

"When their nannies took them to a pool where other children were laughing and playing, his kids stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the other children, not sure what to do." and eyewitness recalls.

"That is tragic for children their age - to not know how to play like normal kids."

A music industry contact says when Michael is at a studio filming a video, his children are driven in by limousine to visit him.

"They're carried in by their handlers - and they sit side by side in matching director's chairs," the contact says.

"They sit motionless. They don't move. They don't speak for hours on end. It is a totally unreal scene.

"During a break, Michael strolls over and talks to his kids. But there's no authentic human interaction or warmth.

"Michael stays at arm's length. And the children talk to him in a bizarre, robotic way. There is absolutley zero warmth between them."

But perhaps Michael, who turned 44 on August 29, is trying to warm to his family. He has taken the trio on several shopping excursions to Denny & Lee Magic Studios in Las Vegas - allowing Debbie to join them on one witnessed trip.

He bought $14,000 worth of magic books and tricks - quite a hefty bill for a star who's reportedly $300 million in debt.

Michael also took his brood for a little cultural bonding last month, dragging them out of bed for a 2am tour of the Guggenheim Herritage Museum's branch at the Venetian Hotel in Vegas. He insisted the museum's head of security be woken at home to admit the entourage of sleep Jacksons, their nannies and bodygaurds, and skipped around the museum looking at its motorcycle collection.

"There are times Michael is just like a little kid himself," our source says. "Who knows how his three children will far."

[SamNMax]

Eww.