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Tatooine Rhapsody


Darth Eggplant

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Is this the reel life

is it sci-fi fantasy

caught in a franchise

no escape from

Chancellor Palpatine

open your eyes

look up to the skies and see

I was just a slave boy,

freedom need I,

not your sympathy

because I'm easy won,

by Qui-Gon,

a little force,

a little con,

anyway the dice rolls,

doesn't really matter to me,

to me

 

mama,

just killed a man,

swung a light saber at his head,

deadly flashlight, wow he's dead!

mama,

life as a Jedi Knight

has just begun,

but Queen Amidala said

she'd go all the way

C3PO,

ooo

didn't mean to leave you unfinished

if I'm not back again

this time tomorrow

carry on, carry on,

cause you're a droid

and like if you really matter

 

too late, puberty has come,

sending shivers down my spine

a certain body part's

aching all the time,

goodbye everybody,

i've got to go

gotta leave you all behind

and face the Sith

Obi-Wan,

ooo

I don't want to die

I sometimes wish I'd never seen

Amidala at all

 

I see a little Toydarian named Watto,

Sebulba, Sebulba,

will you podrace on Boonta Eve

Storm Troopers fighting,

very very frightening me

Jar Jar Binks, Jar Jar Binks

Jar Jar Binks, Jar Jar Binks

Jar Jar Binks, says ooh how rude!

but I'm still just a slave boy,

Master Yoda no loves me

 

(chorus)

he's just a slave boy,

from the planet Tatooine

give him a break,

and let him go and boff the queen

(chorus)

 

she's easy come she's easy go,

will you help young Ani score

 

(chorus)

Jedi Council,

no! we will not help him score

(chorus)

 

Anakin, let me score

 

(chorus)

Jedi Council,

we will not help you score

(chorus)

 

Anakin, let me score

 

(chorus)

Jedi Council,

we will not help him score

(chorus)

 

Anakin, let me score

 

(chorus)

will not help you score,

(chorus)

 

let me score,

 

(chorus)

will not help you score,

(chorus)

 

let me score,

 

(chorus)

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

(chorus)

 

who's your daddy! who's your daddy!

man that was good, I need a smoke

 

(chorus)

Bobba Fett has a slave girl

put aside for me,

for me

for me

(chorus)

 

so you think you can

seduce me a minor

you royal pedophile

so you think you can

handle my light saber

and laugh at it's size

oh Yoda!

she can't do this to me Yoda!

just gotta get out,

just gotta get right outta here

 

no more Jedi Masters

anyone can see,

no more Jedi Masters

it's the dark side

of the Force now for me,

 

as the Star Wars saga goes...

'Tatooine Rhapsody'

lyrics DarthEggplant

2001

*helps if you know

Queen's song Boheimian Rhapsody*

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