Yufster Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 Yes. It has been announced that Iraqi POWs, while being interrogated, are kept under bright lights and played loud Barney music. Now I ask you, what would happen if Sodamn Insane had played Loud Barney Music to American POWs? Hmmm. No seriously, I'm not joking. They really are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 Eek, that's the single most diabolical thing I've ever heard. Barney brainwashes little kids and tortures soldiers. *sings* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...... *stops and screams* If Hussein had been doing that, people would talk about how terrible and cruel it is.....as it is, I don't know. I had no idea. Where do I find the article, or wherever they announced that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted May 31, 2003 Author Share Posted May 31, 2003 Okay here's the paragraph, painstakingly typed out from the paper. There's a picture of barney too, but I think you can use your imagination on that one. It was done in a sort of Question and Answer form. Sunday Telegraph - International News WHO'S THIS PIECE OF PADDING? You're staring at the latest weapon in america's war on terror. LOOKS LIKE A GLORIFIED CUSHION TO ME... Listen, Barney's television programme, BARNEY AND FRIENDS, is a companion and an inspiration to toddlers the length and breath of the English Speaking World. He probably didn't expect to get mixed up in the war in Iraq, though. WHAT'S HIS ROLE? Psy-ops COME AGAIN? Psychological operations. The US military is putting hard to crack Ba'athist prisoners in a room then playing them THE BARNEY SONG over and over until they break and spill the beans HOW DOES THE SONG GO? To the same tune as KNICK KNACK PADDY WACK GIVE THE DOG A BONE, but sung very slowly in barneys Incredibly Winsome Voice. AND THE LYRICS? I love you, you love me, we're best friends like friends should be with a great bug hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too? HELL, THAT'S BRUTAL Let me tell you, 30 or so repeated play of that, intercut with a bit of heavy metal and you're not just telling your captors where the weapons of mass destruction are hidden, you're leading them there on foot. Or that's the theory. ANY EVIDENCE TO SUCCESS YET? Well, still no sign of those weapons. But a US soldier told NEWSWEEK, "Trust me, it works. In training they forced me to listen to THE BARNEY SONG for 45 minutes. I never want to go through that again". SO HAS THIS MADE BARNEY AN ALL AMERICAN HERO? The kids are on his side as ever, but it's still hard to find a grown up with a decent word to say about him. Recently a man in a barney suit got beaten up in a shopping mall in Texas. That's how popular he is. He's particularly likely to drive you nuts if combined with sleep deprivation - as iraqi POWs and the parents of young children alike can now attest. HOW DOES THE SONG GO AGAIN? I love you, you love me... ..WE'RE BEST FRIENDS LIKE FRIENDS SHOULD BE? Stop! Stop! I'll tell you everything!!!! Would appear that toddlers have a very high pain threshold, then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 (spoken with emphasis) Ughhhh, that just terrifying to think of.... It'd be funny if it wasn't so EVIL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted May 31, 2003 Author Share Posted May 31, 2003 Quite the reverse. It would be EVIL, if only it weren't so goddamn FUNNY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadmeat_X Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted May 31, 2003 Author Share Posted May 31, 2003 Clicked the wrong button.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicardoLuigi... Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 sounds painful. barney is a child molester. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted June 1, 2003 Author Share Posted June 1, 2003 It's only illegal to **** kids if you're not a multinational corporation, or barney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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