Please Read My Exam Stuff!!!

[Yufster]

Okay I need a big favour of you all... For the English Exam tomorrow morning we are given a random essay to write. As advice given by our teacher, we were to prepare two essays before hand, memorise them, and try and fit them into whatever topic we're given (IE family and friends, an event that happened last week, ETC.,). However our old, crap teacher came back so she never got the chance to read our essays. Here's where you come into play.

 

I wrote two essays, they're pretty short but it takes ages to write it out... I need to give me your opinion on which one is best and which I should try to use.

 

ESSAY 1 - My Brother

This essay is completely, 100% my own

 

My little brother was always an idiot. Not because he has dyslexia and attention deficit disorder. That makes it hard for him to learn. He's got a really high IQ but you'd never guess. He's seriously wierd sometimes. I've never understood him. His name is Oscar.

When he was little, he did dumb baby stuff like sticking crayons up his nose. When he was older, about eight, we lived on a farm and kept lots of pets. I had a pet goat called Bunny and since I'd raised him, he must have thought I was his mother. He followed me everywhere and never let anybody touch me. At the slightest command he would attack whoever I told him to. And as any self respecting older sister with a pet manic, possessed goat would do, I set him on Oscar. Oscar decided it was safer to play in the neighbours fields.

Our neighbours kept cows, and as a result had a huge pile of cow dung in one particular field. It was colossal. It wasn't in a put, just an immense mountain, and some parts were really sludgy. Over the hot summer, it developed a thick, hard crust. And I am not joking. Oscar decided to try climbing across it without breaking the crust and fell right it. It was hilarious. My mother nearly had a fit.

But despite this, he went back. For him it was the ultimate test of bravery.

There was a line of connifer trees over the pooh mountain. Having been driven from out land again by Bunny, he decided to create a game that was a deranged cross between "tarzan" and "Pooh"; he would try to swing across the trees without falling into the dung.

He called it "Dung Heap Challenge", only he mispronounced it so it became "Dong heap challenge". It was his game.

One other time he tried bungee jumping. Our neighbour had a small bridge across thie deep stream so he could get his tractor across. My brother used it entirely for his own purpose. He got this ailing twine, which is really taut rope, and tied it to his feet and the bridge. Then he leapt off the bridge. Forunately the twine snapped his boots off rather than his legs.

Oscar was really unlucky, moreso than most people. He persuaded our sister, Olivia, to walk across the crust of 'Pooh Mountain'. It was like a giant scab growing on it. He thought it would be hilarious when she fell in but despite his bribe, she would only do it if he followed her across. He agreed, sure that her path would uncover any weak areas. When she got to the other side and demanded her prize, she turned around and he was gone. He had to be hosed down again.

His bad luck didn't stop there. We were climbing the cherry trees when I nearly fell. Oscar leaned from his branch gleefully, jeering at my misfortune, which is a rare event for me. The next second the branch he was on had gone. He tumbled a grand total of forty feet, from branch to branch, missing every opportunity to grab one.

After out parents broke up, we moved to the town. For three years he made do with normal childhood activities. Then he visited out father down in the old house.

He came back a few days later with a set of my sisters' clothes on and a tightly tied plastic bag filled with his own clothes.

"What's it like down there now?" I asked.

"It's the same," He said excitedly, pulling off shoes that were caked in what I had assumed was mud, "Only now, the dong heap is ever bigger!!!"

 

Okay that took longer to type than I had anticipated so I'll post the other one later. What do you think?